Trump Card
by Hovinarri
Summary: A world where a person's fate is written on their skin using the deck of cards. Sasori is an Ace of Clubs; an artistic person bound to succeed in anything he does. However, one day he meets a mysterious blonde who may stray him from all this. SasoDei AU
1. Blonde

Hahaha, leave it up to me to typo the story title~ XD I was too excited, I swear!

For the record, since you can't see it, this chapter is titled '_Blonde_'.

Hiya~

This is Tiikerikissa, yours truly, with a new SasoDei AU story, one I've been planning and plotting for a few weeks now.

I'm doing this a bit differently than stuff I've written before; I plan on updating this _every Sunday._ That's only if I get some reviews or faves or alerts though. _Please _don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to be mean. I simply don't want to write that often if it doesn't make other people happy. If this doesn't get some love, I'll just update every other Sunday.

Oh and the chapters will be 2-3K words each (This is 2,571 words without the A/N). That's because that much I can always brainstorm during Friday-Saturday even if I somehow catch the writer's block.

Yeah, as mentioned before (I mean, in the summary?), this is an AU story, meaning there's no Konoha and Suna and Akatsuki and ninjas - at least not in the way they originally were.

**Warnings: **_The rating __may go__ up._Couldn't fit that in the summary, so I'm saying this now. There might be lemons later, you see... /shot But I'll warn you if needed! As of the first chapter... There shouldn't be much to warn about... I think. And umm, any messed-up formatting is all courtesy of your darling . That's not me.

Also, this will be a tad darker than most of the things I write.

**Disclaimer****:**I only thought this up, but I only own the plot and writing. Not the names of characters and places offhandedly mentioned. Disclaim'd

Go ahead, story starts from here.

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><p>Sasori had practically the whole life ahead of him. Even though he was already twenty, and people rarely-if-ever lived to be much older than seventy, with all the diseases running around, he held certain promise that was bound to get him far in life.<p>

You see, Sasori was an Ace, and only the best, luckiest and most talented people of them all were Aces. He was an Ace of Clubs, actually, so he was born to be an artist.

Being given such extra-ordinary fate, he would only be one of the most talented artists there would ever be. It was his destiny, something some powerful deity had tattooed on the skin on the right side of his neck (he considered himself lucky it was such an easy location as his neck, somewhere else might've been down-right inconvenient) before he was even born. Needless to say, his parents had been rather ecstatic, having given birth to an Ace.

Hell, the whole village had been joyous! Only one person in a few thousand would ever be born as an Ace, and so, in a small village such as that, it was near a miracle. That someday, Sasori would tell them how he came from the small village of Aka in the land of Suna. And then they could brag with how that famous artist was their neighbor/friend/relative.

They didn't have names other than the ones given to them, but some people liked to use their home village/town/land as such. Sasori wasn't one of these people, he thought that his own name was just enough, though he was sort of intrigued by the sound of 'Sasori Akasuna'.

Both of his parents were Hearts, in general kind-hearted people that usually ended up working in jobs that required them to be around other people a lot; jobs like that of a doctor or a salesman.

His grandmother, though, was a Club like himself. Unlike him, however, she was way lower-ranked than an Ace, probably a Eight or a Nine. Or so he had heard; he didn't actually remember the lady in question all too well.

The suits other than the two mentioned were the two that some French also used as a design for playing cards, ones that became rather popular in a short span of time. The two suits included Diamonds, who were all-in-all normal workers, everything from miners to people who studied the stars.

And then there were Spades, who preferred keeping their feet steadily on the ground; people who often became farmers, builders, plumbers; people that made living possible in the first place.

Of course, there were exceptions to these rules; sometimes a Diamond became a widely-known artist or a Club became a farmer. But it was only that indeed; an exception to the rule.

And then there were people who were never mentioned unless someone wanted to remind their children _why_ they should _never_ walk through the cemetery at night, why they should _never_ talk to strangers, why they should _always_ be grateful for what they had and _never_ ask for more, because some people were _far _more unfortunate.

The Jokers.

The Jokers, unlike everyone else, didn't have their suit and number tattooed on their skin, only the curse; 'JOKER'. They were said to bring bad luck wherever they went, and they were often accompanied by certain signs of the Devil.

If one in a thousand was born an Ace, one in a hundred thousand was probably a Joker. One never knew how many of the children born every year actually were Jokers; some of them were killed right after birth, some of them were denied existence by their parents and were killed later on, some of them were never even seen by anyone and all of them tried to hide their identity to keep their lives.

Some people said that Jokers existed simply because people were cruel; they needed to be able to look at someone who wasn't as fortunate and them and think '_Thank_ _the deity that's not me._'

Others claimed that like demons, Jokers were simply a _nuisance_. Dangerous, maybe, but on the simplest level, they were only something that needed to be rid of.

Whatever was the actual truth, one may never know.

But at least they could agree on one thing; a Joker around was nothing good.

Sasori, personally, had never come across such cursed creature, and was content if he could keep it that way for as long as possible, preferably for the rest of his life.

He didn't have anything personal against those _things_, he just had a life he was rather satisfied with and he didn't want anything or anyone messing it up.

Sasori had moved from his home village to one of the bigger towns five years ago, at the age of fifteen. His parents, no matter how they had wished that Sasori could stay with them, understood that he could never have a life in that small, pathetic excuse for a village.

Two years later, the word reached Sasori that his father had been killed in the war and his mother had committed suicide afterwards, leaving his supposedly existing grandmother as his only still living relative. This only considering that she was indeed real and not just one of those countless tales parents like to tell their children, little innocent children who are never supposed to doubt what their loving parents tell them.

Sasori was currently living in a slightly worn house with rats and mice practically always keeping him awake at night. And most of the windows were also broken, so the wind howled throughout the house often. But if he had to say something good about his home, he could always say that he had enough space to fulfill his passion; making puppets.

Even though he was still rather young, he had already made countless puppets (though he did keep a close count, as it was important to him) and even sold a few when he had to. He preferred keeping them, though, since he always poured his heart into the making of his puppets, and so they all held a part of him inside of them. He had plenty of other kinds of art he could sell, after all.

He wasn't exactly famous - yet, at least, but as mentioned, he held promise. And whenever he went out in the market, the local salesmen easily recognized him already, greeting him kindly and offering him all kinds of sweet deals just because of what he was; an Ace.

It wasn't to say that he didn't take advantage of his stature, because he did, rather often, actually, but he just really despised people who had to try pleasing the fortunate ones like that. They should just be fair to everyone; Sasori didn't need any pity, but some other people seriously did.

That being said, Sasori saw some of these less fortunate people each and every day. Not Jokers, of course, but people who just weren't good enough to fulfill their destiny, or worse, people whose destiny was so minor that it wasn't important at all to even bother to fulfill.

He didn't like to say that he pitied these people, but how was he supposed to not to? He could already recognize most of the people begging for money in the street corners or offering to clean ones shoes for a copper coin or a piece of bread. Those people included Granny Sakura, an older lady who knew how to bake just about the world's most wonderful bread. Sasori remembered eating it as a little kid and smiling at the acute taste.

But Sakura had lost both of her arms to some awful sickness when it wiped across the country fourteen or fifteen years ago. After that, her life had taken a turn for the worse, and feeding her five children had turned into a horrible burden that had her working night and day, even when there was very little she could do without her hands.

Sasori gave her a coin, or maybe two if he was feeling generous, whenever he passed her on the street. Usually it was copper, sometimes bronze. Once he had given her a silver coin he had got as a leftover after getting himself some new tools for his puppets. He was delighted to hear from her later on that she and her children had got an actual full meal that day.

These unfortunate people also included the woodsmith, Might Guy. He was blessed with good looks, and, being the King of Spades, he was meant to own a large farm south from Konoha or somewhere else where it was beautiful and fertile.

Then what went wrong?

Well, Guy had been a little too cocky, in his younger days. How could he not be, with all the girls swarming around him and every adult he knew telling him how proud they were of him when he didn't try to do anything for it?

So when he had his farm, he went to play some game with his friends. Suddenly, he was challenged by a man wearing a black mask, and of course, with all of his buddies and girls watching, he didn't back down, even though he knew full well that he should have. Everyone knows that you don't agree to deals and dares with total strangers; they always end up in misery.

The stranger skillfully won everything he had. Every single thing he owned was lost in that game, from his farm to his pride, girls, friends and even his clothes. And as he cursed the deity for letting this happen to him, the stranger gave him his hand to shake hands with him.

The stranger gave him his hand, where on his palm read in capital letters, 'JOKER'.

That afternoon, Sasori walked down the street like any other morning, following his usual everyday route. If he had known what awaited him in the bazaar, would he have taken the longer way there?

Would he have gone at all, had he known?

That was something he would never know, but he did go, oblivious as he was. Oblivious to the fact that in the bazaar, there was a blonde waiting for him (well, not necessarily for _him_, just for someone with a few coins, really). A blonde that could stray him from the path the deity had chosen for him.

He was all about going to the market, getting himself some things like, I don't know, food? Also, he could use some paint, as he had recently ran out of a few colors.

But when he finally did get there, there was a lot of commotion gathered around one spot. And of course, he was curious as to who or what was attracting all the attention, especially since he knew most of the people around here, and none of them were this interesting, really.

Sasori made his way there, as close to the spot as he could get, and ended up finding something worth his while; a street artist that he didn't remember seeing before. Scratch that, he had never seen _anything like him_before, even.

He (yes, Sasori decided, the person was a he until proven othervise) had most of his hair tied up in a ponytail, and a fringe covered the left side of his face fully.

It was certainly interesting; he had never seen a person with that kind of golden blonde shade of hair. Even under all the dust and dirt, Sasori could tell that it was a special color indeed.

The blonde had extra-ordinary clothing, most likely made to attract attention and to suit his current job, if it could be referred to as such.

As a mean of collecting coins, the blonde had a hat set on the ground, a hat that Sasori imagined he could have made from white canvas all by himself and then used some certain flowers to dye it so it wouldn't get dirty all too soon. The hat was now a dirty yellow-orange, a shade darker than his hair, and it had two red diamond-shaped patches. Judging from the hat's overall condition, Sasori could almost swear that the patches were not made because of cosmetic reasons, but to prevent it from tearing into pieces.

The hat had three spikes that made it resemble that of a clown or something, with bells jingling on the ends of two of them. On the third, there were stray pieces of string, suggesting that a third bell had been there at some point to accompany the other two.

He wore a dirty yellow-orange matching shirt with long sGuyves, long enough that his gloved hands only barely reached out of them, and a red undershirt, both so short that his midriff was clearly visible from underneath them. The yellow shirt had more patches, symmetrical to each other, so that it would stay in one part for as long as possible. It also bore a collar that was flipped down. The shirt was tied with a loose knot around his neck.

On his bottom half, he wore shorts, with one of the pant legs almost reaching his knee and the other one not even half as long, appearing to have been ripped off.

He had knee-length socks that might have been white, had they been treated with care and money the young man most likely didn't have, but were dark gray from all they had gone through. Had Sasori still been counting all the diamond-shaped patches the blonde had made in his clothes, he would've found a few more in those dirtied-with-age socks.

He also had worn out leather boots with two wooden rings around each of them, making a pleasant, gentle knocking sound as he walked about.

Sasori had long since noticed that there were three kinds of strays:  
>-begging ones, the kind that couldn't do anything but beg for a few coins<br>-talented ones, the kind that usually had a certain profession but would do practically anything for money  
>-stealing ones, the kind that would always lie and cheat to get something from you<p>

He decided that the blonde would have to be a type 2, seeing how talented he seemed. Being a street-artist could easily be his profession, and his clothes seemed to only address the fact perfectly.

The blonde did cartwheels and all sorts of things as Sasori watched him. Not seeming to care if there was five or fifteen or fifty people watching him, he kept going, smirking slightly each time he heard a cling as someone dropped a coin in his money jar and thanking them politely with a bow if he wasn't in the middle of doing something at the moment.

He was far more talented than most people living on the street, so Sasori figured he was either a professional only pretending to be a stray, or he was simply so poor that he absolutely had to be great in order to survive in this cruel world.

Sasori ended up shrugging it off and leaving; he had other things to do, and there was no way the young blonde would stay here for long either way. Soon he'd either grow too tired to keep going, or simply continue to whatever major city he was headed to. This because most people that talented were usually headed somewhere, Sasori had come to notice.

How wrong he was...

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><p>Hope you liked it. ._. This story is basically already real and moving forward in my mind, so it would mean the world to me if you reviewed and told me if you liked it or not. Or favorited. That would be cool too. *happy sort of sigh*<p>

Also, if you've got any cool music in mind that would fit this, my Inspiring-playlist is kind of meant for other purposes and most songs don't fit this all that well... So tell me. *laugh*

Hope to see you... in a week?


	2. Puppets

You guys are awesome, I swear. ^^ Totally wanted to update this today for you all~ *glomps everyone* Thanks for all your kind words and love! :D  
>And because of that, here I am, with a chapter titled as 'Puppets'.<p>

**Words:** 2,591  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>...woah. There's pretty much nothing to warn you about. Weird. o.o''  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>I don't own. Got it memorized? Good.

Hope you like this chapter too. :D Would mean the world to me even though nothing world-changing happens... Yet.

Also, in case I left it unmentioned before, this story is set in the _19th century_. Now you know.

One supportive character is introduced here. Guess who? owo

_POLL in my PROFILE. Go vote for SasoDei if that's what you want me to write. _:)

Most importantly, three of the kinds of coins that exist in this world are introduced here. If you manage to make out how much they're each worth when compared to the other(s), you can go ahead and request me to write something (anything). I'll promise to get to it **ASAP**. ^^

(And that's not even hard, hahaha. But that's only because my math skills couldn't handle adding up too many different values all the time.)

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><p>Upon entering the best local arts shop, basically the only one worth visiting, actually, Sasori was greeted by the man who was always there, smiling dubiously (and fakedly) and ready to assist whoever was in need of assistance in hopes of keeping his job and thus, keeping his life intact.<p>

"Hello, Sasori-san. In need of something, as usually?"

Sasori was well aware that the black-haired male did not like him. At all. Actually, if the man wasn't working there and if Sasori wasn't a customer and a fairly famous artist who could turn most of his other customers away and by doing this, utterly get him in trouble, there would be absolutely no way he would even tolerate the red head.

There was even a simple reason for this grudge; the other was also a fellow Club. But since he was 'only' an Eleven, he was always, without failure, overshadowed by Sasori's talents.

It had been this way ever since the other man had moved here. He was an outlander, and hence had an odd accent and many foreign honorifics he used in his speech.

"Sai," Sasori acknowledged with a nod, "Actually, yes. Some more paint would be simply _delightful_, seeing how I seem to be currently running out of sea green, rose red, sky blue and.. a certain sort of purple."

"Paint, you say?" Sai repeated, "Oil- or water-based?"

Sasori rolled his eyes in an '_oh you have got to be joking_'-manner. "Oil, if you will. Also, if you could possibly sharpen my knife? It seems to have got a little dull."

"With _pleasure_."

Their conversations were always like this; full of idle chit-chatter required by their customer-salesman relationship and pleasantries thrown around to mask their mutual dislike for each other.

Sai took him further into the store (not that the red head didn't know the way or anything), giving Sasori some paint bottles and having him approve them.

Just to be mean, Sasori suddenly changed his mind on the sea blue, going with cerulean blue instead. When the black-haired man handed him the purple he had wanted, however, his displeasure was genuine.

"This isn't what I'm looking for."

He looked up from the wooden shelves, taking the paint from Sasori. "This is what you always use."

Sasori didn't even want to know how the other would remember such trivial information. Maybe he was stalking him to know how his work was so good, but frankly, the red head couldn't care less.

"What I've used before doesn't matter when it's not what I want this time. Can I take a look at what you have?"

The painted-on smile staying on his face, Sai stepped aside so that Sasori could look at the paints himself.

He kneeled down to look at the colors not far from the ground level and slowly gazed them up and down for a while. He ended up silently cursing the fact that the variety wasn't actually as good as he had recalled, then sighing when he knew he'd have to settle with a shade that was a tad lighter than what he would've wanted.

"This will have to do..." he murmured, more to himself than to the other, picking up the paint that seemed to be the closest to the ideal and standing up again.

Sai seemed displeased with this remark, but he quickly hid it, nodding. "Good to hear you've found something to satisfy your tastes. I could sharpen that knife of yours now, if you would be willing to wait a few moments?"

Not bothering to honor the other with yet another uselessly long and sappy reply, Sasori simply nodded, tugging the knife from his pocket and handing it to him.

Sai disappeared into some sort of a back room, because common sense said that there was absolutely no way any sorts of blades could be sharpened in the middle of the shop, not with Jokers and thieves and murderers around.

Sasori, being left alone, shrugged his shoulders slightly, looking around the store if there would possibly be something else that would be of use for him.

It took Sai some ten minutes to have the knife sharpened. The black-haired artist then summed it all up quickly, probably wanting Sasori out of his sight as soon as possible.

"Twelve bronze for the knife, ten for each paint... That'll be thirty bronze coins, if I'm not mistaken."

Sasori took four silver coins, twelve copper coins and nine bronze coins, giving them to the other man.

Sai took them, nodding and smiling. "Have a good day, Sasori-san."

"Sure," Sasori called upon leaving the store.

Soon enough, he realized that if he wanted to avoid the crowded market as much as possible, he would have to go to the foods stalls near his house - also on the opposite side of the town.

Sadly, it could not be helped, really. Most of the food stalls were located on the southern side of city, while the art equipment store he had just exited from was on the north-western side.

Even though he disliked the market, Sasori decided to go through the same road he had followed before, the same one with the blonde artist.

Not that he wanted to see the blonde - no, the idea of that was simply absurd. He was only curious as to if the traveler had given up yet.

So he followed the road grudgingly, tugging his bag to his left shoulder and looking around himself only once in a while, preferring to keep his gaze to the ground.

Upon making his way to the part where the road widened slightly, close to the market, Sasori saw that the racket from before was _still_there. Surely it couldn't be because of the peculiar blonde anymore, right...?

Wrong. When he got remotely close to the spot, he could see the odd golden-colored hair and glimpses of the colorful clothes the artist wore.

Well, at least no one could say he wasn't persistent enough to survive. Sasori made a mental bet with himself - the blonde would not be there the next time he walked by. If he was, Sasori would drop a coin in that worn and seemingly self-made coin hat of his.

Though he knew very well that wouldn't happen. That's why he liked making bets with himself - he never lost them.

Before going looking for food, Sasori dropped the art equipment in his house. Simply because it was along the way, and he couldn't be bothered to carry them with him for too long.

He visited the stall of Tenten's. This because even though he didn't like the girl selling food there, mostly because of her slightly annoying personality, she did usually have some rather fresh milk and potatoes. And fresh food was something worth tolerating the girl for.

Now that he thought about it, Sasori found himself disliking quite a number of people. But then again, his artistic, lonely lifestyle had never given him much of a chance to naturally bond with people.

And when these 'people' were mostly common workers or farmers or old people, why should he have even bothered?

Hidan was one person he did get along with. He was working under the orders of Konoha's Kage - leader -, more commonly known as Hokage, but he was still kind of interesting, mostly because he stood out from other people quite well.

He was a Jack of Hearts, something he never stopped complaining about. His rants often included many swear words and were loud and disrespectful. He just thought the suit of 'Hearts' was simply too feminine and awkward for him.

That's why he was so interesting, too. How had such a loud-mouthed, obnoxious man managed to get such an important job in the first place?

Some people said he had bribed certain people to make it, but Sasori knew better; Hidan was about as rich as one of the rats living in the red head's house.

Sasori himself believed that it was all the doing of the deity; in other words, it was the doing of Hidan's Card Mark.

Card Mark was the name of the mark that showed one's suit and number, and also one of the various reasons why it was so hard for a Joker to survive.

When someone wanted a job, people usually needed to show their Card Mark. And since Jokers only had the text 'JOKER' instead of a Card Mark, they couldn't often get themselves a real job, hence being forced to handle illegal jobs, work on the street and do certain things that would make even the toughest man feel _disgusted_with himself.

Also, if a Heart wanted to be a doctor, or a Spade liked the thought of farming and so on, it could provide help with their career that it matched their Card Mark; because it was what they were made for.

Probably also worked if Hidan wanted to be the right-hand man to the money-keeper of the Hokage.

"Good afternoon, Sasori," Tenten said, effectively snapping him out of his musings. "Looking for anything in particular?"

"Just dropping by to see if you'd happen to have fresh milk."

"I _always _have fresh milk, Sasori. That's why I'm so close with Neji, after all."

Neji was the owner of the Hyuuga farm on the eastern outskirts of the town. He wasn't too high-ranked, but still a Spade, and so he had got the farm when his parents both passed away.

Neji also had a twin sister, Hinata. Rumors had it that the shy, soft-spoken girl was originally supposed to inherit the farm, but he had somehow cheated and got it for himself.

"Careful, Tenten. People might actually think you're nice if you act like that," Sasori sneered before he could stop himself. Somehow, getting along with Tenten was even more challenging than getting along with than Sai. Maybe this was because Sasori could see her Card Mark all the time; it was on her shoulder, after all. And her choice of clothing – a pink, sleeveless blouse – did absolutely no effort to hide it. Tenten was a Five of Diamonds.

"I _am_ nice," Tenten half-growled back. But since her personality really wasn't _that_horrible, she then sighed. "So, you wanted potatoes and milk. Anything else?"

"A bread and some cheese… And you wouldn't happen to have a spare bucket you'd be willing to part with? Mine broke down the day before yesterday."

Tenten chuckled, "In other words, you also need water? You should know that the liquid of life doesn't come without a price, either."

"Do you have a bucket or not?" Sasori asked impatiently. He hated pointless chit-chatter, yes, but he hated waiting even more.

"You're in luck," Tenten murmured, turning around and looking for said object, "Jugo gave me one yesterday. He couldn't afford to pay with coins, you see." She then handed the copper-colored metal bucket to him.

He took the bucket from her, "How much would it be?"

"Fifteen bronze for the bread, ten for the milk and twenty for the potatoes. You can have the bucket for twenty since that's what Jugo was short and... Five for the water? You can even have a bag since you bought so much. Deal?"

"So it's a fifty." Sasori grimaced, but knew there was no way he could haggle it down from _that_. Besides, it wouldn't have been even near that expensive if he hadn't gone and broken that deity-damned bucket.

He handed her four silver coins, four copper coins and eight bronze coins. "What do you want me to tell Kankuro so he doesn't push me into the well upon first spotting me there?" he asked her annoyedly.

Kankuro was yet another fellow artist, but since he was a puppeteer, he and Sasori got along sort-of fine.

He was one of the people who lived in a circle around the well closest to Sasori's house. Since he had opted to be a loner, Sasori didn't live close to a well himself.

Of course, the situation of living held other downsides, as well. Like the fact that houses weren't built like that for no reason; they were like they were to prevent wolves from entering the yard. And since there was a wide forest that spread on the eastern side of the town, the whisperings about the cruel canines were not for nothing.

"Just tell him that... Just praise Karasu some and he'll let it be." Tenten shrugged. "Chances are you won't even run into him; he's often been talking about how he wants to go visit his brother lately."

Karasu was Kankuro's most treasured puppet, much like how Sasori had his prized puppet; one with the name 'Hiruko'.

"The Kazekage? Sure that's a good idea, leaving to Suna at this time, of all places?" Sasori found himself asking. It wasn't like chit-chattering was one of his strong points or anything, but he couldn't imagine going to his homeland right now. Suna had been rumored to be in deep trouble, a civil war brewing in the burning hot lands.

"Personally, I think it's a horrible idea. But you try telling him that."

Sasori took this as a 'go ahead, the discussion's ended'-kind of sign and nodded.

He sneaked to the well in the small opening between two of the houses, hoping not to run into anyone as he pulled the bucket up from the well, tilting it to pour the water into his own bucket. He made sure to get as much as he could, since he hated spending his money on buying _water_, of all things.

But then again, he would have to make sure he didn't break this bucket like the last one, so he couldn't go totally overboard with it, either. He could never be sure how sturdy this thing actually was, not even when Jugo was as dedicated to his work as a blacksmith as he was.

"Thieving water again, Sasori?"

Recognizing the voice, Sasori sighed on the inside. "Don't get all defensive, Kankuro. You know, I heard about the adjustments you did to Karasu, and I must say I'm rather impressed."

Kankuro blinked. "Oh, so you talked to Tenten. I see, I see..."

"I'm not that obvious, am I?" Sasori asked, turning to look at the other male over his shoulder.

The brunette shrugged, "You're not. But even if Karasu was formerly your puppet, you would not praise a fellow puppeteer's efforts to make it better if you didn't have an ulterior motive to doing it."

"Hey, I made him ages ago. I wouldn't wonder if he was already breaking apart," Sasori defended himself. He really did not like it when other people, puppeteers or not, judged his puppets. So what if he hadn't been the world's best puppeteer when he had been nine? Surely he had improved from those days.

"I know, I know," Kankuro returned, sighing in some sort of defeat or admittance, "You made Karasu ages ago, and yet, even now, I still can't be nearly as good as you..."

"Practice makes perfect," Sasori murmured, shrugging and taking his bucket, milk and the bag with the bread and potatoes inside.

"Hey, Sasori… Can I make a puppet of your body when you die?" Kankuro asked him suddenly, his eyes glowing sinisterly.

Sasori glared at him, not wanting to find out if the other male was serious or not. "Ask me again when I'm dead."

With that, he left, but not without hearing Kankuro's laughter echoing behind him.

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><p>Sneak peek from chapter three!<br>_"You're an Ace of Clubs, THE Sasori from the village of Aka in the Land of Suna, un." He rolled his eyes, a frown now setting on his slightly chapped lips. "I know that, un. I'm Deidara. What and from were, you may never know, un. And the pleasure of meeting you would be all mine."_

Sasori and Deidara were supposed to meet in this chapter (chapter 2, the one you just read) but this kind of turned out working better like this so gomen.

Now if I could ask one thing from you all...

Review? _Make my day by spending a few seconds writing a couple of words? :3_

Because I still won't update weekly if you don't want me to. I could always do things you would prefer me to write if this doesn't please you...?


	3. Deidara

Hiyaaaa~ :D

You guys are ever so awesome, seriously! ILU all~ :)

Sorry this chapter's a few hours late (I would've preferred to have it up when it was still _daytime _for me - it's 11:03 PM right now) and a little shorter than the ones before, but I had three tests and two essays due this week. So I did the last 600 words today, along with the editing. That's why I'm a bit late. :U

But hey, donut fret! Those were the last tests and essays for this year, so now it's time to relax and more importantly, WRITE! :D

Also, a hint to an animation series in one of Deidara's lines. Find it?

**Disclaimer****: **Don't own Naruto and don't want to. I might ruin it. *sob*  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> ...none? Can't remember, at least...  
><strong>Words: <strong>2,148, it seems. Weird, it was 2,012 on word... Tell me if some part repeated oddly or something! :/

Umm, go ahead and read it. The chapter of Deidara's more official introduction! Conviniently titled 'Deidara'! /shot

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><p>Sasori waited for a few more hours before going back to the market. Actually, he waited until the sun was already setting. Maybe he subconsciously wanted to win the bet he had made, thus trying to make sure the blonde wouldn't be there anymore.<p>

Upon passing by the spot with all the racket, Sasori noticed that that artist from earlier that day was actually still there, bathing in the last golden rays of the dying sunlight.

Sasori didn't know if he should be impressed by this or not, really. The only thing he knew was that he had lost the bet he had made with himself some hours back. And he found that annoying, in a way. And this annoyed him even more, because he knew that he should've been down-right pissed by the blonde for making him lose a bet with himself like this.

Since it was indeed getting late, when Sasori got there, the rest of the people formerly there were just leaving, most likely unintentionally giving him a chance to finish his task before heading back to his home.

Sasori dropped a few bronze coins in the hat like he had promised himself while the blonde was focused on fixing his messy ponytail, then turning to leave. Upon hearing the sound of money, however, the clown quickly finished his work and called after him, "Hey, you~"

Slowly, Sasori turned back around, curiosity getting the better of him.

"You gave me money, un~!" the blonde said, grinning slightly as he bowed, "And you passed by many times and now finally stopped to watch me perform, un. I am honored, yes."

Sasori shrugged nonchalantly, not bothering to ask why the other would've noticed him passing by in the first place. "It's nothing. I just haven't seen you around these parts before. I'm-" he was cut off by the blonde chuckling.

"You're an Ace of Clubs, THE Sasori from the village of Aka in the Land of Suna, un." He was suddenly right in front of Sasori as he rolled his eyes, a frown now setting on his slightly chapped lips. "I know that, un. I'm Deidara. What and from were, you may never know, un. And the pleasure of meeting you would be all mine." He pointed his left index finger in the air and moved it in front of his face quickly, apparently meant to signal something like 'and that's final'.

"That was..." Sasori frowned, "Not the kind of introduction I've grown used to." Had it been a normal situation, he might've pestered the blonde for his suit and number, but since he was a stray, it was probably nothing to be exactly proud of. And that's why Sasori let it go. Just this once.

Deidara grinned at him, excitement shining in his sky blue eyes. Or eye. "So what, un! I like doing everything with a bang! And besides, keep your friends close, enemies closer, loved ones near and kill your foes the first chance you get, un!"

Sasori closed his eyes, shaking his head inridiculously. "You are by far the most immature person I've ever met... No wonder you've chosen the life of a clown as your own."

"Shortie says what un?" Deidara joked, patting Sasori on the top of his head with his free hand.

He had a rather worn bag in his other hand, something he couldn't have possibly acquired without

Letting out a growl, he smacked the offending hand away. "My height has nothing to do with the fact that you're an immature brat."

"Sure, sure." Sasori could see a foreign glow in Deidara's eyes as the blonde gracefully sat down on the ground, pressing his shoe bottoms together and holding them still with his hands before looking back at Sasori. "What were you doing in the market, un?"

Before he could voice a 'none of your business', the blonde had shrugged and was now blabbering on yet again. "Of course, you don't necessarily _have _to tell me, but you can't blame a guy for being curious, un."

Skipping the question, Sasori raised a questioning eyebrow. "So you are a guy?"

Deidara glared at him. "Moron, un... Yes I am."

Sasori ignored the insult and the answer, instead changing the subject back to what it had been before. "I was just passing by... Was running out of paint and such so I needed to buy some more, is all. Also, I bought some food."

"Then you must've gone out of your way at least once, un," Deidara mused aloud.

"What makes you say that?"

He shrugged. "When you first passed by, you came from that way," he raised his hand to point in the direction, "so your home should be there, un. When you passed by the second time, you had your art equipment with you. That should mean the art shop is there," he pointed in the opposite direction, "And the food stalls should be in the direction of your house, since you supposedly bought food items while you weren't here, un. You are out of your way right about now." He grinned at Sasori triumphantly.

Following the thought chain slightly belatedly, Sasori soon realized that he was /absolutely right/. He cursed the way he couldn't explain the other his supposedly existent reason to be there right now, at that very moment.

He ended up shrugging coolly. "I thought I deserved a break from my art," he lied.

Deidara beamed, "So... You're an _artist_, un?"

Sasori wasn't sure how come the brat found it _that_amazing, but nodded regardless. "Yeah," Sasori even bothered to offer the blonde a lopsided grin. "Art is something eternal, everlasting... Simply beautiful, never changing, never withering..."

"Art is fleeting, un! BANG!" the other interrupted, eyes shining yet again. "It's not meant to last forever, it's only fun if it flickers for a moment and then disappears, un!"

"...brat. It's-" he suddenly remembered something else that required his attention. "It's eternal. And I was supposed to ask you... Where are you headed?"

Deidara shrugged, smiling fondly as he stared in front of himself blankly, fiddling his fingers sort of impatiently. "Where the wind blows, un..." He dropped his bag on the ground carefully and proceeded to kick his hat lightly. "This is everything I have, so it really doesn't matter where I go."

"Impressive," Sasori murmured disinterestedly, "And tell me, what does that life style have to offer you?

"Everything, un. Big adventure, tons of fun... One day I can be here, and tomorrow I might be in the next place, un."

"You make it sound ever so classy. Makes me wonder if you really are telling the truth..." Sasori accused, raising an eyebrow at the strange blonde. Surely travelling couldn't be _that_amazing, right?

"Mmm-hmmm..." Deidara murmured, "What were I to gain from lying to you, Sasori?" he continued, picking up his coin hat and shaking it slightly, grinning all the while. He even voiced a quiet 'tee-hee-hee', murmuring a few words to himself, almost like he didn't remember about Sasori's presence anymore.

Sasori took this chance to look at the bag the blonde had again taken in his hand, apparently a sign of distrust towards Sasori and the whole world.

He had a rather worn bag in his other hand, something he couldn't have possibly acquired without a needle, string and a lot of scraps of different fabric.

There was something that looked almost silky - Sasori might have believed it was, had it been used in something else than a seemingly poor man's (or should the brat be considered a boy, rather?) patchwork bag.

That delicate silk held a huge contrast when compared to the patch next to it... Was that one from a _potato sack_? Seriously?

There had to be at least twenty different patches on the bag, and at least ten more on the handle the blonde held in his hand.

Deidara seemed to have followed Sasori's gaze, because he suddenly scowled. "Don't look at my bag like that, un. I need something to throw my stuff in, okay?"

"I didn't say anything," Sasori defended, "It's just... different, that's all. You can't blame me for examining it out of curiosity."

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Curiosity indeed. You do realize that curiosity killed the cat, Sasori?"

Having heard the saying before – it was once of the favorite phrases of Sai's, after all, he nodded with a smirk. "And you do realize that satisfaction brought it back, brat?"

He smiled at this. "I see you aren't that boring, after all, un." Then he turned around to fiddle with his hat again, leaving Sasori to wonder if that a kind compliment or a rude insult thrown towards his way.

Then Deidara suddenly turned back to the red head, his smile and playful attitude all but wiped away, replaced with cautiousness as he seemed to be planning his next move already. "Hey, do you happen to know a place where I could stay for the night, un?"

Sasori didn't even consider offering that the strange blonde would come stay with him. Why?

Because he hadn't asked.  
>Because he was glad the other didn't except Sasori to keep him alive when it really wasn't his place.<br>Because, in the end, the blonde intimidated him. He didn't want him lurking around his house. No way.

"No. Sorry," he muttered passively, then trying to offer at least something of use quickly afterwards, "I can only say that you won't want to go towards the west side of the town; that's where's the cemetery, and I hope you do know that it's not the safest of locations at night and..."

Deidara grinned widely, punching his shoulder, "And what, un? You believe Count Dracula and his fiendish little witches will kill me or drink all my blood if I go? Never took you for the supersti-"

"Shut up," Sasori cut in, "I do happen to know how vampires and witches aren't real, but I hear Jokers are. You won't want to go there."

His face went pale, and even the impatient sound of the rings around his shoes stopped (This simply because every time he moved his foot in a certain way, the rings were bound to make a hollow wood-hitting-wood-sound. And since he was such an _art-is-a-bang_-kind of person, it was no wonder he'd have trouble staying still.). "Oh shoot damn yeah un," he said so quickly that Sasori might've chuckled, had Deidara's face not been as serious as it was. "I guess I'll just head east then, un. Thanks for telling me."

"Think nothing of it. Would be a shame to have my money go to waste."

"We'll be seeing each other tomorrow, right, un?" Deidara asked, tilting his head as he asked his question. "At sunset if you want to be a pussy again, but hey, you can talk to me anytime if you feel like it, un~"

Sasori rolled his eyes. "You're just a little brat in need of more attention, aren't you? I'll see if I happen to walk by."

"Anyways," Deidara grinned again, though it seemed more tentative than it had before. "Thanks again for your money, un!" He kissed the red head's left cheek quickly, then looking around cautiously. After a few seconds, he did one more he walked a few steps, sidestepping twice, then quickening his pace…

And suddenly Sasori realized that he had run off.

"What an airhead..." he sighed with a frown on his lips. He decided that his first impression of the blonde would have to be strange, passionate, bipolar, down-right _off_ in a way...

Maybe a little talented. But Sasori wouldn't let him know that.

And Sasori would never know if the other had a really messed up sense of directions or not, but he could swear that he had caught a glimpse of the brat heading to west instead of east like he had said he would only a moment before.

He shrugged it off. It wasn't his fault if that stupid clown couldn't tell east from west, after all.

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><p>Want a Christmas day update?<p>

Then review. I want to know if you want me to update, really. :) Because I want to write so much, I don't want to waste time on something if no one can be bothered with reviewing... *sob*

But hey, you've bothered great far. As said, I love you all.

See you in a week? :)


	4. Sour

**Words: **2,279  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Didn't get it for Christmas equals I don't own.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>There's... a swear word? I think? One?

Meeerrry Christmas~! Sorry this is a bit late (it's 2AM on the 26th for me, sob), but Christmas Day's been a bit hectic and...  
>And I was awake 'till 5 AM last night playing Kingdom Hearts II. [insert heart here]<p>

THANK YOU for reviewing and favoriting and alerting, again. I'm not sure if I'm worth it, but I'll continue to do my best for you all, okay~? :3

So go ahead; here's the new chapter, titled **'Sour'**(also, pretty much the first chapter title that's a little bit more... abstract? But it still continues the not-yet-mentioned-but-still-existent theme I have for these, so it's all good. OwO

Oh and if you spot any weird errors, tell me. Like always, I go unbeta'd and work mostly at night.

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><p>The next day, Sasori found himself sitting on one of the kitchen chairs (well, it was more like a combined kitchen, living room-ish and puppet storage space, all combined), contemplating on what would be the perfect time for him to <em>happen to<em> walk by the spot where the blonde clown performed in the market.

Of course, he scolded himself for this - seeing how he really didn't want to go there and definitely didn't care about going back and having another conversation with the airheaded, strange artist.

Not at all. He just so happened to be out of work for the time being (seeing how his unfinished puppets could hardly be counted as work, considering how he didn't make them for a living, but for a passion), and might easily be that way for a while, until he caught someone's interest with his paintings. And that might take a while or two.

So since he was free as of right now, and since the blonde had seemed so enthusiastic about meeting him again (not that Sasori particularly cared about what that stupid clown wanted, because he didn't, really), why should he not go?

After all, going there would be a change, and change would probably do him good, because even though art was eternal, no matter what some bothersome brat believed it to be, Sasori himself was slowly starting to accept the fact that he would never be.

He wasn't art, after all. Though he knew, given the choice, he would have liked to become art. A puppet, preferably.

But those were daydreams for sentimental people, the kind that needed an escape from reality because they were all too weak to handle it... And Sasori was everything and anything but _that_.

And so, he was indeed aware how he could not be eternal like his art could. He wouldn't live forever - he would be incredibly lucky to make it to eighty, anyways -, and accepting the fact was the first step to overcoming it.

It took Sasori three and half an hour, not that he knew it, since being an artist brought him certain ignorance towards the constant passing of time, before he realized that he was actually subconsciously stalling his decision of going or not going and when to go if he did go by thinking about the situation on so many different levels.

It was ever so simple, after all. If he wanted to go see Deidara, he should definitely go for it, preferably before the blonde left to find a place to stay for the night. And if it was the opposite, he shouldn't bother to go there in the first place.

Still, after two more hours, somehow he managed to convince himself that while he _didn't want to_ go, and _didn't care_if the blonde wanted him there or not, he should still go and walk by, maybe start a conversation with the other if he happened to feel like it.

The art of deception was one of Sasori's favorites, after all.

He spent the rest of his day mostly working on those puppets that weren't actually in need of being worked on.

He knew he should have gone to check if he still had some salt left, but Sasori was slightly afraid of knowing how the situation was.

Mostly it was because of the fact that the possibility of him being out of salt wasn't all too far-fetched. Actually, it was very realistic and very horrid.

He didn't want to even think about how much he would have to pay, would he have to go searching for more anytime soon. Not to mention finding some salt for him to buy in the first place.

Of course, selling one of his best paintings for some old, filthy rich lady after being commissioned to do so might have given him just the money he needed. The only problem with the aforementioned plan was that he hadn't been commissioned (not to mention being commissioned by an actually wealthy individual) in a while.

And of course, if he went to see if he did have salt, he'd end up needing some very soon.

Common sense had it that as long as he didn't know the truth, he could pretend that he was not running out of salt just yet.

(Just like the situation with Deidara, actually.)

As soon as the thought of the clown wormed into his mind, he pushed it away, instead making a show of opening the window and going back to work on his puppet with the chilly air of late September twirling in the room.

But even the cold air had him wondering about the blonde and if he was cold in that show-offy attire of his.

After another hour, he realized the time was becoming close to when he had met the blonde the day before, and if he wanted to go there today (though of course he did not /want to/, the clown annoyed him), he should do so right about now.

Tugging his coat on (because even though it was rather cold inside, he preferred not to wear a coat inside the house so that he'd feel warmer when he went outside), he was soon out the door.

Sasori then headed down the main street, just in time to see the sun starting to disappear behind the horizon.

He wanted to get this over with, so he walked in a quicker pace than normally, still slow enough to seem like he wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere, mostly because he didn't want anyone wondering where the hell THE Sasori from the village of Aka in the land Suna was hurrying, by the time of sunset, too.

But his troubles were somewhat worth it, in the end; the blonde was at the spot from yesterday, juggling with four apples in his hands.

When Sasori approached him, the blonde didn't acknowledge his presence.

"I didn't know you were a juggler, too," Sasori murmured pleasantly to start a conversation, watching the blonde throw those four apples around.

Deidara threw all of the apples up high, catching them one by one, the last one almost managing to slip from his gloved fingers before he decided to put them all away. He then sighed disappointedly, looking at the red head.

"Sasori, un. Was that naive, much? For all you know, I could as well be a murderer or an assassin sent here to kill you, un. There's absolutely no reason to say 'I didn't know this about you', when you don't really know a thing." By the time his sentence was finished, the apples were gone from Deidara's hands, which had found their way to his girlish hips, which stuck out somewhat, bringing out how frail his body really was.

"You're right," Sasori shrugged, "You probably know more about me than I know about you, either way."

"I'd bet on it, you know, un," Deidara replied with a cheeky grin, "You know nothing about me."

"Yes I do," Sasori hissed, "You're from... Kumogakure?"

"Nope, un." Deidara seemed amused by the guess since his eyes were shining happily as he voiced his response.

"Suna?" Sasori then guessed. It wasn't his homeland popped into his mind so quickly.

"Nope. _Unlike some_, it's not really the place for me, un..."

"...Konoha?"

"No." Deidara rolled his eyes as he said this.

"Kiri?"

"Still not it, un."

"...so you're from Iwa." After all, that was the fifth and final land. There were other, smaller places, of course, like Yugakure, where Hidan was from, but being from somewhere else than those was just... No.

But the blonde only laughed in response, "Nope. Sorry, game over, un."

"What?" No matter how much he tried to, Sasori could barely keep the surprise from sneaking into his normally toneless, blank voice.

"I mean that I'm not telling you where I'm from, un." Deidara grinned happily.

Sasori clenched his teeth in irritation. "You could've told me that _before_I guessed every land there is..."

"Wanted to see how long it took you to get it right, un."

"How long was it, then?" Not that he was curious; he just wanted to know how off he had been is all.

Deidara pressed a finger to his lips, shaking his head slightly. "Shhhh. It's a secret, un."

"...Brat." It was the first word that came to mind, but he couldn't help thinking how it really was incredibly fitting for the blonde.

"Takes one to know one, does it not, un?" Deidara retorted.

Sasori shrugged, "Then only you would know that, I suppose."

They soon eased into a comfortable silence, with Deidara putting up another show whenever someone came around. Of course, since the sun was setting yet again, by-passers were rare and usually in a hurry, not stopping to watch, not to mention actually bothering to pay the clown for his efforts.

"And as an answer to your earlier statement, I'm not," Deidara finally replied while having one of his shows, throwing an apple high into the air change the pace, "A juggler, un. Just a stupid, childish little clown who'll do whatever is needed to stay alive, un." He laughed after his words, but that really didn't help to make him sound any less serious anymore. "And I got these apples as a pity gift from someone. But since I don't know where they're from, I can't tell if they're poisoned and thus, can't eat them, un."

The person who had been watching the show dropped a copper coin or two in Deidara's hat, causing the blonde to smile charmingly and bow deeply while voicing this thanks. All that for a pathetic copper coin...

Sasori then blinked in thought at Deidara statement, mostly because he had never thought that strays would have to say no to food. But then again, the way Deidara had put it just now made it sound not paranoid, but rather careful. And deity knew they should be careful when it came to matters that could take your life.

But then again, Sasori just had to say something smart to that. His pride demanded it. "You'd notice if they were poisoned. Without peeling the apples before giving them to you, the only way to make them poisonous enough would be to either cast a spell on them," he rolled his eyes to signal that he wasn't serious about that part, "-or to grow them with poisonous chemicals mixed in the soil. No one would go through such trouble just to poison someone like you."

Deidara threw his head back to laugh for some reason or other. Sasori briefly noticed that his fringe didn't move from his face, even though sense had that it should have. He leaned forward to examine it, only to have Deidara step back from him.

The blonde stopped laughing and motioned at the yellowish long sleeved shirt he had, or more precisely, he motioned at the knot it was tied with, making Sasori notice that the ends of his fringe were held securely in place by said knot.

"Why-"

Deidara cut him off, shrugging. "I don't like my hair getting in the way, un."

"Cut it?" Sasori suggested off-handedly. Then again, he couldn't actually imagine the blonde with really short hair, or even shortish like his own... At all.

"But I like wearing it long."

"Is everything you do really explained by your preferences that easily?" Sasori asked him annoyedly. If it was so simple, how did the other man manage to make himself seem so complicated?

"Nope," Deidara replied, fingering Sasori's red hair almost like he wanted to feel what shortish hair felt like to the touch, "I don't particularly like juggling, but I still do it, un. Neither do I like people looking at me, but I still try drawing their attention with all I've got. And you know what, un?" Deidara leaned so close to Sasori that his first reaction would've been to step back, had the blonde's sky blue eyes (eye, his mind reminded himself) not have locked onto his own so strangely.

"I _despise_people that don't hold respect for my art," Deidara muttered, grinning and poking Sasori's nose with his finger playfully.

"I hate you too," Sasori hissed. He almost hoped he would get to see that stupid grin falter, but of course it never did.

"I know, I know, un. And that's why you came here to see me instead of working on your puppets," Deidara countered, and if possible, his grin seemed to widen, just a little.

Sasori frowned, not really sure if he had mentioned his puppets to the blonde the day before. "Actually, yes. I couldn't help wanting to make your day miserable with my presence."

"Oh, how _awfully disheartening_ that it didn't work out all that well for you, un," Deidara replied with that unfaltering grin that was persistently trying to turn into a smile as he spoke, "Because I am _simply delighted _that you would show up, you see, un."

"You aren't serious," Sasori muttered, shaking his head slightly.

Deidara chuckled, twirling slightly on his heels where he stood, "Who knows, un? Maybe I'm not... But what if I am? What are you going to do about it, un?"

"Then I'll just have to make sure not to give you that joy again," Sasori replied, turning around. He wished he could've turned back around to see if the blonde's grin wavered _now_, as the words Sasori had spoken were sinking in.

But of course, he couldn't do it, seeing how it would well mess up with the general idea of what he was currently doing.

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><p>Again, Merry Christmas~! :D<br>...Can I get a review as a present? I'd love if you had the time to say something about this. :)


	5. Absent

Heyo~!

So yeah, I'm back~ I only got three reviews for last chapter, but I guess that's okay... They were nice reviews, so THANKS!  
>I hope you were busy and not just ignoring this~ :3<p>

**Words: **2,166**  
>Warnings:<strong> Swearing. Hidan's mentioned so what do you expect? ;_;  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> SURPRISE! I don't own!

Oh and happy New Year, you! Merry Thanksgiving and it's 2012! :D

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><p>Sasori sighed and yawned, setting his quill on the table before reading over the text he had just written down.<p>

_'Dearest Hidan' _(this only because there was always a chance someone would be monitoring the silver-haired man's letters, given his high-ish position)

_'How are you faring? Well, I hope. I am truly sorry for not responding to your latter when I first got it a week back, but I have simply been so unbelievably busy lately, and only now finally able to take the time to write you back._

_I have had some trouble thinking of ways of making a living - you know how unwilling I am to part with my puppets, after all. You haven't happened to think of something of use, have you?_

Never mind that. I probably shouldn't be troubling you with my peasantry worries, seeing how you surely have enough trouble and hassle of your own.

But I certainly do wish everything's quite fine over there, wherever it is you might be at the moment. And I certainly do hope your little bird, whatever her name was, finds it there safely.'

He snickered, mostly because he couldn't quite believe he had written all _that_, just now. It sounded like nothing he would say, to the young albino at least, seeing how his and Hidan's conversations had always been filled with swear words, mutual sarcasm and mockery towards each other and the whole world.

But what could he do? Chances were that Hidan's stupid pigeon, which had been staying at Sasori's home since Hidan's last visit months ago, would get lost or lose the piece of paper along the way, leaving it for someone else to find. Neither of them could really afford that, could they?

Sasori didn't have a pigeon of his own, seeing how he wasn't too fond of animals in general. Of course, he could tolerate some of the more artistic ones, like a lynx with pointed ears and beautiful, cat-like grace but also with deadly, sharp teeth and claws ready to tear your eyes out, or a hawk, brave and graceful as well, but with a sharp, piercing gaze that could spot its prey anywhere.

His favorite, though, would have to be a scorpion. It was small and not really all that dangerous on first glance, but it was equipped with a sharp tail that was poisonous and _fatal_.

He signed the short letter with _'With best regards, Sasori'_, and put it in the small tube on the bird's leg.

He patted the creature's head reluctantly (he wasn't much of an animal-person), and muttered, "Don't get lost or Hidan will bite my head off, okay?" opening the window and watching it fly into the dark night.

Not able to help momentarily wondering if it was such a smart idea to release the bird right _now_when he could have easily waited for sunrise or just set it free during the day, Sasori chuckled. It may have been a small victory, but he considered that if Hidan's stupid, feathered companion managed to get lost just because it was night, he could at least complain endlessly to his friend.

Besides, writing that uselessly polite letter had given him something to do. And something to do had been beyond him lately, so he was sort of grateful for that.

Next morning found Sasori curled up on the floor for some reason.

As he lazily got up, he grimly noted that at least none of his not-all-that-friendly mouse companions had eaten his eyeballs during the night.

And yes, he had indeed heard stories. Stories of all the diseases spread by said mice, stories of people being killed in the most horrid of ways because of such small creatures.

He couldn't help the shiver that ran up his spine for imagining it, and promised himself that when (if) he were to leave this place, he would find a house without mice.

Or alternatively, that he'd find himself a cat. That's what those creatures were for, right? Killing mice. Right?

Not bothering to change from the still remotely clean outfit he had worn the day before, Sasori yawned and walked into the kitchen, rummaging the cupboards for something suitable for his breakfast.

He couldn't contain the sigh of relief that escaped his mouth upon hitting his hand against the cup he used to keep his salt in. And it wasn't even empty, hence the relief.

Upon closer examination on the uncertain amount of what salt he had left, Sasori ended up scowling at the cup, because it actually held not even enough salt to last him a few weeks, just enough to add to the meat he had bought the other day to keep it from going bad just yet. He couldn't deny the fact that he didn't wish to have to go off to buying more just yet, and decided to stall it until the next time he'd have to buy some meat.

As small as the comfort may have been, he let himself try some of the reacently salted meat.

His small comfort ended up being _even smaller_, if possible, than he had first thought, when he wondered if the meat would taste any better if he had someone he could share it with.

The thought, to him, was rather absurd. Why would he want to share the meat he had bought with his hard-earned money with someone who had done absolutely nothing for it?

Then again, maybe he owed Hidan something? Hidan had been his companion and more-or-less-friend for a while now, after all. If 'a while' equaled four years, that is.

Sasori had been sixteen and Hidan had been fifteen when they had met back in Yugakure, where Sasori had gone on his travels, and where Hidan had lived for all his little life.

It wasn't anything to be proud of, not for Sasori at least.

He had been more or less uneasy in the cold climate (because to him, only Sunagakure would ever be warm, even though most people considered it too hot for living), and had got in a fight with some stranger, Kaze or whatever his name was, over something very simple. Whether it had been food or just a matter of who should sit where on the alleyway, Sasori soon found himself practically attempting to strangle the other man.

That's when Hidan walked by, whistling and saying how he was always up for 'a fucking good fight'.

That, though, was enough to snap Sasori back to the current moment, making him loosen his hold on the man just enough to let him escape as fast as he possibly could.

Hidan had naturally been unsatisfied by the turn of events, claiming to have been serious about the good fight when he had first brought it up.

After finishing his rant about the situation, he had grinned at Sasori and like good manners had it (because apparently the fact that Hidan rarely used his manners didn't mean that he hadn't been taught any of them), he had told the red-haired man his name ("Hidan", most obviously), where he was from ("Just there round the fucking corner!"), and what his Card Mark was ("Yeah, I'm a Jack. A fucking _Heart_, but still, a fucking _Jack_ so don't bother"), shown it since its location wasn't too ackward or complicated, it was on the palm of his hand after all, and asked for Sasori's introduction.

He hadn't been all that happy to hear that Sasori was "a fucking Ace, a fucking talented bastard!", like he had put it, but still said that they could probably get along, since the red-head seemed like he could handle a fight.

And from that moment, they had just decided that they would have each other's backs if it was ever needed.

Hidan had told Sasori that he wanted a good job, because according to his own words, he was made for not only that, but also power. Power so great that even after his death, he'd be practically immortal.

Sasori wasn't sure how it was possible to be immortal _after _dying, but suggested that the albino could try for a position close to some Kage. And then (he remembered smirking as he added this part) he could try taking his spot some day.

Hidan had laughed (or cackled, more like it) and informed Sasori that one day he'd have to address Hidan as 'Mr. Hokage'.

Sasori raised a question eyebrow at this, asking why Hidan would try for Hokage's spot out of all of them, to which Hidan had shrugged and muttered something about how "Naruto was the most fucking naïve of all the Kages", except for Sabaku no Gaara (who was from the village of Sabaku in Suna, and also Kankuro's little brother), but then again, why would've Hidan wanted a land practically self-destructing by a civil war?

Sasori didn't bother defending his homeland, because he knew that Hidan was most likely right. Besides, what did it matter where he was born, anyways? Sasori had never truly understood why one would feel pride for the land they had lived for the first few years of his life.

Hidan and Sasori had gone seperate ways after that, but Hidan had told Sasori that if he even ended up in Konoha (which, as fate would have it, happened ironically soon afterwards), Hidan would like if Sasori would bother looking him up.

And so, when Sasori did settle in Konoha, after three weeks he held to his end of the promise.

Saying that he had been surprised to find his used to be friend living close to the edge of his new hometown would have been underestimation of the year, just like saying that he had been expecting to find the other in an actual high position, no matter what he had claimed, would have been a total lie.

After that, they had only seen a couple of times in total, mostly sending those letters and birds back and forth (well, letters back and forth and the bird in only one direction because it would've been certainly too difficult for its little bird-brain to learn a grand total of _two_ directions).

And in a way, Sasori never minded. He knew that everything was fine with Hidan, that the albino certainly didn't need Sasori to watch his back _now_, so he wasn't even breaking any promises when he stayed away (not like he did so on purpose, but still...).

Upon finishing spacing out, Sasori found himself back at the table, with his unfinished piece of meat before him. Of course, it was nothing to be expected, since Sasori rarely spaced out, and when he did, he spaced out good.

He ended up reluctantly eating the rest of the meat, continuing with his daily routine that seemed to drag on _even more than usually_.

Everything went the same way for two days, three days, two more days, until Sasori found himself faced with the fact that it had been a week.

Two days since he learned from Kankuro's older sister that Kankuro really had left for Suna.

Three days since he had fallen asleep at the table with a still unfinished puppet before him.

Four days since he had tried to talk some sense into Kankuro, tried to convince him that leaving for Suna would be absolutely out of question, given the current circumstances.

Six days since he had written his somewhat-friend a letter.

And finally, seven days, a full week, since he had snarled at the peculiar blonde brat with the name of Deidara and promptly told him that he wouldn't be back to see him again.

Four hours after making this realization, Sasori reasoned that he wouldn't be going back on his word if he walked by "Deidara's spot", as he had come to dub it, and laughed at the blonde's bound-to-be misery as he did.

And so, he let the time move on to sunset (which came earlier than a week ago, actually), before leaving his rathole of a house.

He was pretty cocky by the time he reached the market, mostly because he told himself that he was changing his routine again. And change was good.

The smirk on his face fell rather quickly, however, when he reached the so-called 'Deidara's spot', and there was not a soul out there.

Sasori sighed, leaning against the wall of a building close by. At first he didn't even notice it, but soon he realized that his knees had given in underneath him, effectially letting him fall to the ground for some strange reason.

So maybe he had enjoyed the blonde's company.

_"One day I can be here, and tomorrow I might be in the next place, un."_

So maybe he should have come here when he still had the chance to do so.

Because now, he noted grimly as he watched at the empty spot, formerly so full of fun and knowing smiles, it was too late.

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><p>7th of January is my birthday! OwO<p>

...no, that had nothing to do with anything, but...

Could you review? (would mean so much to meee...) Then I'd try to get a chapter done due next Sunday again~ ^-^


	6. Useless

Surprisingly, I'm here again. Surprisingly because I've been so damn busy, with my birthday party and some (many) issues with my best friend and school starting again... I wrote practically this whole chapter within the last few hours (while absently chatting with TrebleTwenty, thanks for that, you~ ^^)

BUT I GOT SEVEN REVIEWS FOR LAST CHAPTER.

Yeah, it's so important that it needed caps. It's so important that I just had to write this chapter for you guys because I love you all and thankies so very much you practically made my dayssss~

Oh and thanks for the birthday wishes, too. owo

...now if I could only get reviews for this chapter, too. Would so make my week, which seems like it will be, well, pretty bad. Sob.

/and if Tarot cards ever happen to make an appearance in this story (doubtful), it's because I got a Manga Tarot deck as a present and I've always wanted one and it's so cool~

**Words:** 2,400  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> ...I didn't get Naruto for my birthday... I still... don't own...  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Thele be a sweal wold. /shot/ I mean, slight coarse language.

Almost titled this chapter 'Dead', but it's 'Useless' now. ^^;

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><p>After the undeniably disheartening visit to the market, Sasori found himself feeling even more reluctant when it came to matters like getting outside of his home and possibly entertaining himself with something he couldn't get within those four wooden walls.<p>

Not that he had been specially social or outgoing to begin with, addressed by the fact that no matter how unhealthy it was, he often made a show of staying inside his rathole of a house for longer and longer periods of time.

But now, right now with the peculiar blonde somewhere way out of his reach and minutes dragging on ever so lazily, he couldn't even begin to remind himself _why _exactly it was so important that he opened the window, not to mention actually opening the front door to get some fresh air.

And to be completely honest, the matter of _food_ or _water_ probably wouldn't have become a problem any time soon, even though he acknowledged the fact that he was steadily running out of both (and he had even got some water within the week of pointedly not going to the market).

Instead, what snapped him from his half-dead state was that he didn't have any more puppet arms. Which in itself was strange, because he could swear he hadn't made _that _many puppets lately. Or at all, actually. He had had at least hundred pieces of limbs to start with a few years back, when he first settled in this place, and the thought of him using them all was out of place in his mind.

But what other explonation was there? Either he had used all of those limbs or someone had stolen them. And why would anyone steal puppet parts, anyways? There had to be items more worthy of stealing in his petty house, there just had to.

In the end, the debate of whether or not he had used up all of those puppet limbs was useless when there definitely weren't any right now.

Sasori lazily rolled his shoulders when he woke up late that morning, taking his money pouch (made from the same kind of fabric as the potato sack-like patch in the not not mentioned clown's bag) after checking that there was surely enough coins to last him that day, were he to find something to go along with the puppet parts he was searching for.

Then again, he reasoned as he added a few more silver coins, he could as well go buy himself some food, get some water and go bother Sai while he was at it. That way he could rot in his house without having to go anywhere afterwards.

He could pretty much see the way he would be taking in his mind; his first stop being the woodsmith, Rock Lee.

Lee was the unlucky person who had lost everything to the Joker back in his younger days. He had changed so much that Sasori could hardly believe he was the same guy that starred the folklore.

The most doubt was arisen by his supposedly 'good looks'. Lee had black, short and neatly cut hair, along with huge eyebrows that almost seemed to drag his eyes downwards into a challenging leer practically all the time.

His next stop would probably have to be the well or Tenten's stall, since Lee was one of the people who lived in the houses surrounding the well, along with Sakura, Tenten, Kankuro and Iruka, the latter an older man who liked teaching some of the local kids part-time. It was almost like he dedicated most (or maybe even all, to be completely honest) of his life to teaching his knowledge to other people, something Sasori didn't even bother _attempting _to understand.

And lastly, he would go annoy the hell out of Sai, just for some kicks.

Even though in his thoughts, the visit to the art equipment shop was a trip to 'annoy Sai', he actually knew he'd end up buying something from there, regardless of if he liked it or not. How was an artist supposed to enter an art store and walk out of there without actually buying anything?

Though Sasori supposed that if someone like... Let's say someone like a poor street artist who performed tricks for some coins and juggled and whatnot on occasions, entered the store, surely he (or she) could've resisted the temptation of wasting his coins in paintbrushes or clay or oil-based paint.

He would have to. Not everyone could be as fortunate as Sasori sort of was, anyways.

Sasori opted for a change of clothes before exiting his house, going for a dark red, his long jacket along with a sleeveless shirt and light brown, sort of baggy pants. They would absolutely have to do, even though he could recall how cruel and absolutely cold the autumn could sometimes be.

Once he was out the door, he annoyedly noted that he should probably get himself a... calender or whatever Sai had called the straps of paper hanging on the walls of the store. It supposedly informed someone what month and day it currently was. Sai had probably explained it to him once, but Sasori tended to tune his more useless rambling off at times.

Luckily, this notice, along with the realization of how cold it truly was out there, occurred to him before he was far from his home, and he could still turn back and grab a pair of gloves he had paid fortunes for ages ago, mostly because they had actual sheep wool inside and were so rather great for keeping his hands warm.

He headed towards Tenten's stall, reaching it quickly because it was actually really, really close.

"Hello, Sasori," Tenten greeted him with a smile.

Sasori glanced at the young woman suspiciously. "What's got into you today?"

She grinned happily. "One may never know, Sasori, but it's certainly something great!"

He rolled his eyes, muttering something about carrots, turnips and milk, then continuing louder, "Don't fuck around with Neji, will you?"

Tenten set her hands on her hips. "How can you say something like that? I'm not a wicked witch, you know!"

"Sure, sure..." he muttered, "Whatever. Oh and do you know where I could get some salt?" He winced slightly, having to ask that. Of course she wouldn't know.

She rolled her shoulders in what Sasori supposed may have been a mock-shrug. "Maybe... You know what? You don't bring up Neji again, not like this at least, and I'll find some to sell you."

"Depends..." Sasori murmured lazily, feeling the hint of a chance for bargaining in the air, "I'm getting more or less tired of having to buy more salt all the time... You know?" he purposely skipped the time she may have needed to give her answer for the question, "And besides that, your little friend seems like a... touchy subject, if I may say so. It might take a certain amount of salt to do that."

"You still have that petty container of salt, don't you?" Tenten hissed, clearly getting nervous of Sasori letting something slip about Neji to someone who was by no means supposed to know a thing. "I'll fill it. _Twice_. Five silver coins... And you'll be quiet. Got that, red head?"

Sasori gave her his proud, 'beat you'-styled smirk, and nodded. "Always a pleasure to make acquaintances with you."

She then proceeded to add up the crops, water and milk he had wanted. "If I'm not completely mistaken..." she started, "That would add up to twenty bronze."

Sasori couldn't help noticing that it was probably cheaper than it should've been, and grinned as he nodded, counting twelve coppers, seven bronze and a silver coin from his money pouch.

After getting a bucketful of water (this time without being bothered by Kankuro, since he had left to Suna against common sense) and taking the food and the bucket back to his house, Sasori lazily trailed to Lee's house, where he also took care of his wood smith work.

Sasori had never been practically fond of the place; maybe because he wasn't truly fond of physical work. He was artistic and intelligent, and thus, not really the wood smith-kind of person.

Luckily(?) Lee was actually outside, so Sasori didn't actually need to go inside.

Upon noticing him, the wood smith smirked. "Sasori! Hey!"

Sasori rolled his eyes; as if he hadn't yet known Lee was there. "Hey. Listen, I-"

"Wait!" Lee cut him off, taking a sort of fighting pose, looking slightly amusing. "Let me see... Either you're out of puppet parts or..." he closed his eyes, which then snapped wide open as he continued, "Or you want to hone your skills in the martial arts!"

Oh, and Lee was also fond of those... 'Martial arts' of his. Sasori always sneered at this; nothing so un-eternal should ever be considered art.

"The former," Sasori agreed, "I can hardly believe it, but I seem to have run out of puppet limbs; hands, more precisely."

Lee dropped his hands from their ready for a fight-stance, seeming almost disappointed by Sasori's lack of interest towards a good fight. "Oh. Well then it seems like you aren't in luck; you'll have to wait some weeks before I can get you any suitable wood."

"Weeks?" Sasori repeated, nearly exclaimed, before gaining control over his temper yet again. "That seems rather absurd, to me. Is there really not a way to... sweeten the deal?"

Getting the hint, Lee smirked. "Depends on how sweet it would get. That's the only actual question at this point, after all."

"Two silver coins," Sasori offered, holding his hand up for the other to see, "And I expect you to gain those logs within three days."

Lee nodded, his smirk warming into a smile as he took the coins offered to him. "It'll be my pleasure."

With that, Sasori smirked, leaving to visit his (least) favorite person in the world; Sai.

He opted to take the road that went from his house rather straight to the art store. It wasn't a actually big road of anything; more like a wide-ish alley, but he liked it because of that.

He actually preferred it when there weren't people buzzing around everywhere, and thinking about that, he wasn't at first sure why he had decided to stop going that way in the first place, going through the crowded market instead.

When his thoughts trailed back to the peculiar street artist (or well, a person who believed art was 'fleeting' and still called himself an artist), he found himself almost regretting not being there two weeks ago to... say goodbye to him or something else of the sort.

Not that they had been close or anything, because it was obvious how they hadn't. They had spoken... what, twice(?), and Sasori still felt like he had left something undone, left something unsaid.

Then again, he couldn't really get a grip of what he would've said. "Hi and bye, complete stranger I only know the (possibly fake) name of?"

Not very likely.

Soon enough, Sasori found himself cursing himself for choosing this route, combined with him choosing this very day. Because while the way to the art shop was usually quiet, today it seemed that people were gathered ahead to watch something.

Being the stubborn young man he was, Sasori didn't turn back or simply turn right from where he was, going through the market instead. No, he simply stood there until the people gathered around the spot had left, only then continuing on his way.

He didn't even bother looking at what had started the commotion in the first place, no matter how curious he may have been.

And so, even if he would've missed it completely, had he been given the chance to, fate, the deity or something else had different plans, and a familiar, too familiar to be honest, voice broke him from his thoughts.

"Hello, Sasori, un."

Deidara murmured those words like nothing had happened, sitting on a rather wide peg placed steadily on the ground, in a way that probably made it near impossible that it could fall over, in a spot where there were no stoned tiles like there were practically everywhere else. The peg was probably only a little shorter than Sasori, with his shoe bottoms held against each other by his frail hands. He then hopped down gracefully, walking up to the red head with a barely surpressed grin on his face. "How have you been, un?"

Sasori didn't know what bothered him more, the fact that Deidara looked exactly the same as he had two weeks ago or the fact that he was acting like the whole event with him suddenly disappearing had never even occurred.

"Where have you been?" Sasori countered the question before he was able to help himself.

"Awww, did somebody miss me?" Deidara chuckled amusedly at this, not seeming to actually care if he was right or not, "And I've been here, un. Where else?"

"At the market...?" He knew it was somewhat dumb, but Sasori couldn't just let it go. It had been bothering him, after all.

The blonde shrugged, almost like he wished to dismiss the importance of him changing locations all of a sudden. "Nah. I prefer this place; I found it a couple of days ago, un. It's a bit quieter, maybe, but it's actually better for setting up a show, you know?"

So this was where Deidara had been when Sasori had gone through the market? The blonde had actually never left; instead he had moved here pretty much that exact day when Sasori had failed to find him.

Sasori eyed the peg Deidara suddenly seemed so very fond of, and soon found himself nodding slowly in agreement with his current companion. "Yes... I suppose I do."

"Well? What are you doing here, un?" Deidara asked him, seeming curious.

"Absolutely nothing." Sasori shrugged, "Thought I'd annoy someone, but it wasn't actually important."

Deidara blinked his sky blue eyes (or eye) slowly. "So… you're not in a hurry, un?"

"I think I just said I wasn't, brat," Sasori responded, half-sneering. He found himself slipping back to the rather disgracing nickname of sorts, but if the shoe fits…

The wide, slightly mischievous grin that could soon be found on the blonde clown's face made Sasori worry slightly what he had just agreed to.

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><p>Deidara's finally back = I can get back to the plot I had in mind before Sasori decided to be such an idiot. I seriously didn't mean for that to happen...<p>

Thanks for reading this far and if you're still with me here... Could you please be as kind and review? I suppose most of you know how much a few words can mean to a person so...

And I still don't wish to 'waste my time' with this if no one's reading, haha. But I do hope you're still reading if you have been at one point.


	7. Broken

**Words: **2,663 (Look, look! It's the longest chapter so far! OwO)  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own Naruto or anything that has to with it.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Someone has a mental breakdown that leads to swearing. Like, near Hidan-class-swearing... Yeah, that bad. ._.

Hey, you!

I love you guys. You know that, right? You're so awesome and da da da da da I don't know what to say other than thank you more than words can describe for reviewing, favoriting and alerting! :D I've been high on reviews all week again and that made my week that much better.

I was at an anime convention today and yesterday! It was **awesome** with capitals even when my 'best friend' got mad at me because _she_ ditched _me _to play In The Groove and then I didn't hang around her...?

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><p>Slight rant here, ignore if you want. Author's note continued afterwards.<p>

Then she got all angst angst angst and wouldn't talk to me. It made me change my msn status to 'Bitch please', hoping she'll take the hint because she's been throwing all her angst on me for the last few months and I can't take it anymore I swear.

/God I hope she doesn't pick this exact moment to start caring about my beloved writing, as she never really has before/

Slight rant over, sorry but I had to get that off my chest OTL, go ahead and read on or skip straight to the story at the next horizontal line.

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><p>But still, it was awesome at the con. I got friends, I got yaoi, I got drawings, I got a new hat and other random stuff... I learned about Japanese Mythology and I'm learning Jumpstyle now because I was taught how to do it. *heart* You know.<p>

And so, I only got the real time to write this chapter now (had a busy bee week), so I've been sitting here for the last two hours with Write Or Die. It's been really fun and relaxing, actually. :) And I got myself a pack of Moomin cookies after getting 2,400 words down (I already had 200+ when I started, haha), and I like them so it's a good thing.

And I liked this chapter. I don't know why, but I do. I liked writing it, and I liked what happened. Really hope you do too~

Go ahead, I'll stop blabbering now, haha. Chapter titled 'Broken' is go!

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><p>Deidara tugged at Deidara's sleeve eagerly, "We should go have some fun, un!" he informed the elder happily.<p>

"We?" Sasori repeated irritably, "Since when have 'you' and 'I' turned into a 'we'?"

"Since I said so, un!" Deidara said dismissedly, "Just now!"

The red head captured the blonde's unoccupied with his hand, tightening his hold slowly. "And why in the world did you suddenly decide that you and I should go _'have some fun'_?"

"Because," Deidara started, eyeing his wrist uncomfortably all the while, "You have nothing to do, I have nothing to do and I'm bored, un." Sasori opened his mouth to counter the statement, but Deidara quickly continued, "Either that or I'll follow you back to your home. You wouldn't want that, would you?"

Did Sasori want that? An air-headed, unpredictable stray knowing where he lived?

A definite no.

Getting impatient by the lack of an answer within a matter of a few seconds, Deidara tried to pull his hand free from Sasori's tight grip, with no success of course.

What did happen, though, was that Sasori felt the bones in Deidara's hand twitch with the movement, and suddenly there were thoughts like 'What if I tugged this the wrong way?' and 'What if I twisted this just a little too harshly?' roaming through his head.

Suddenly he found himself thinking about how close the bone was to where he was touching - he could feel it and move it slightly if he wished to - and how much it was forced to endure on a daily basis. He knew it shouldn't have been that way. It was just wrong; common sense had it, seriously.

This caused him to release his hold on the blonde, but judging by Deidara's smug, slightly happy grin, the clown probably thought that the reason was something else completely.

"I'll take that as a yes," the oblivious blonde told him, "So fun it is, un!"

"What does your 'fun' even include, brat?"

Deidara looked downwards, silent all of a sudden, not meeting Sasori's eyes as he poked at the stone tiles with his foot.

When he understood what this meant, Sasori couldn't help but groan,"...you can't be serious."

The blue-eyed blonde shrugged absently. "I don't plan forward like that, un. I thought I'd figure it out as we go." With this, he tugged at Sasori's sleeve impatiently yet again.

Sasori stepped back half-a-step. "I never agreed to 'go have fun' with you. And I won't, either."

"Well, like I said, the other option is I follow you home. It's not any better for you, y'know, un?"

After a moment of contemblating this, Sasori sighed in defeat. "Whatever, brat. Just figure out what your so-called 'fun' is and I won't leave just yet."

"Hooray!" Deidara cheered in an almost mocking way, grinning widely. "Let's go, then, un!"

"Where to?" he asked as the clown tugged at his sleeve again.

Releasing his hold on Sasori for a moment, Deidara stepped back, closed his eyes and spun around. "That way!" he then exclaimed, pointing at a random direction, or in this case, east.

"Not as far as to the woods," Sasori told him, shaking his head slightly in pure disbelief. Why in the world would someone go through all that trouble to get someone to come and fun with them if the location mattered so little to them, anyways?

"The woods?" Deidara questioned him, frowning as he did so, "What woods, un?"

Sasori too frowned at this, but he did it mostly because he would've presumed that Deidara would've _known_ that. "The woods in the south-eastern side of the town. It's dark and very easy to get lost in there."

"Ah," Deidara acknowledged, "I understand, un. We don't have to go that far... if you're _scared_, un." He laughed like it was the world's joke that he told, just now.

Knowing the point of this comment was probably to get him agitated, the red head didn't want to give the other that satisfaction, instead settling with muttering annoyedly, "I'm just thinking rationally, _unlike_ _some_."

It was Deidara's turn to seem annoyed now. "I can think rationally when I want to, you know, un."

"You just never feel like it," Sasori corrected.

Suddenly Deidara huffed, starting to drag Sasori towards west.

"I thought we were going east? Towards the woods and-"

"We aren't, I changed my mind, un," Deidara scowled as he spoke, "And we'll be heading west until you admit that you're afraid of it."

"Never going to happen," Sasori sneered, walking a little faster until his pace was quick enough so that Deidara didn't need to drag him along anymore, "Because I'm not afraid."

Deidara nodded, "Good, un. The Graveyard it is, then." Sasori couldn't help noticing that Deidara spoke the word with respect, unlike most people did. He spoke of it as a sacred place rather than a cursed spot being haunted by ghosts.

"What, no," Sasori disagreed, "Why in the world would you want to go _there_, of all places, to have _fun_?"

"I need to pay my respects before we can go anywhere, un," Deidara informed him, "I have to, un."

"Well I'm not-"

"_Afraid_, are you?" Deidara interrupted, effectively silencing Sasori, who was _everything_ but _afraid_. "Thought so, un." With that, he was back to quietly walking towards his destination.

Sasori couldn't quite pinpoint what part about this bothered him, but he was absolutely certain that something did. Maybe it was because he couldn't really concentrate when Deidara's shoes made such a loud noise...

Okay, so the noise wasn't exactly loud. But given the fact that they were currently in one of those quiet, almost abandoned alleyways, this one even smaller than Deidara's new favorite place, it was otherwise quieter than in a room where someone had found a black feather - a horrible sign of bad luck.

And when everything else was utterly silent, the quietest of sounds could seem like a bang from a small (or not so small) bomb.

Sasori chose not to complain, though. Mostly because every conversation with the other seemed to end in a ferocious fight with the two people who, however different, both considered themselves to be 'artists', and he wasn't currently in the right mood to be purposefully starting one of those.

Deidara seemed slightly lost in thought, his expression changing from a concerned frown into a dark scowl and then a blank smile as he walked.

Not that Sasori was watching him or anything, because he surely wasn't. But it was sort of fascinating, and he would've paid a silver coin, maybe even a gold one, to know exactly what was going through his head right now.

Though Sasori was aware it was probably nothing worth even a bronze coin; there was no way that the blonde could ever be so complex. The most that might be going on in his mind was probably figuring out a suitable place for 'having fun' or whatever it was that he had wanted to do.

And so, Sasori knew for certain he should've stopped watching Deidara's expression and trying understand the meanings behind them.

But still... as said, it was entrancing. He couldn't help looking, continuing looking, and continuing looking even after his sense kicked in and told him to stop doing that continuously.

Soon enough, they were there, and Deidara's expression settled at a proud grin for some reason or other.

Deidara looked at the high-ish gates iron to the place for a while before pushing them open, making little to no sound as he did, which could easily be counted as an accomplishment since its hinges were very rusty.

Sasori couldn't actually remember the last time he had been to the graveyard, though he was certain he had been there, and so he was sort of appalled to be staring at hundreds of graves on the ground, a few trees scattered around to provide them some shade, and many pathways criss-crossing around the graves.

Deidara took his hand - yes, his hand instead of just grabbing his sleeve, and scanning the graveyard with his gaze, apparently looking for the grave he wanted to pay his respects to.

"I like graveyards," Deidara murmured quietly, "They are peaceful, un. People never come to a graveyard without a certain sense of nervousness, fear and respect, un. I like that."

"I figured," Sasori muttered in response as Deidara started walking again, slowly and quietly. He wasn't even sure if he really had figured it out or if he just wanted to say that to seem smart.

Suddenly Deidara seemed to find what he was looking for, taking a turn to a path leading right and then continuing until the path ended, and then stepping into the grass, walking to the farthest corner and then kneeling down in front of a small, small grave.

Jokers never got graves like other people. Their graves were scattered all around the place, if they even existed in the first place.

Most of them didn't even exist, actually. The only reason for one to exist was that either someone had liked the Joker, which was impossible in itself, or that someone wanted them to have a grave so that people wouldn't forget how dangerous Jokers in truth were.

And even though Sasori had never seen a Joker's grave - or noticed one, anyways, he was certain he was seeing one when the blonde kneeled in front of the small excuse for a grave.

"That's... a Joker's grave," Sasori said slowly, almost thinking that Deidara didn't understand what that meant.

"Are you bothered by the concept," Deidara murmured, looking up at him behind his shoulder somewhat curiously, "of a Joker having a grave of his or her own, like everyone else, un?"

"Yes," Sasori said seriously, not feeling like he needed to explain it further.

Deidara shrugged. "I don't know... When I die, I would prefer having a grave too, un. Why wouldn't he, un?" He motioned at the grave at the last word, or the last word before his little speech habit, anyways.

"How do you know it's a he?" Sasori asked him, bending down slightly to see if it was stated anywhere.

"I don't. I just said that, is all, un." Deidara shrugged, "I pity them, un. I mean, yeah, they got a grave, but that's hardly enough to compensate having lived a really shitty life."

Sasori absently wondered if this was the first time he had heard the usually ever so cheery blonde curse. "What do you mean, 'shitty life'? They make everyone else's lives shitty, that's all they're capable of."

Deidara had the kind of weird expression that probably meant that he wanted to curse Sasori off loudly, and would've done so, had they not been in a graveyard. "You really never thought that maybe not all Jokers want to be mean and make shit happen, that maybe they don't all even do that, but they're so fucking hated that people fucking kill them after they're born and fuck-"

Suddenly it seemed like he again remembered that this was indeed a graveyard, and breathed in and out quietly before continuing, this time slightly calmer and a lot quieter. "-and fuck you, un. It's not a nice life to live at all, and they haven't done a thing to fucking deserve it."

Was Deidara really swearing like Sasori had only heard Hidan do...?

"Are you-" Sasori started, only to be cut off by Deidara.

"I knew him," Deidara admitted, or more like half-sobbed brokenly, "I fucking knew him, un. And he didn't deserve this."

Sasori had always been horrible, horrible with capital HORRI _and_ BLE, when it came down to comforting people. Again he found himself cursing this fact as he watched the blonde tremble in grief before a grave of someone Sasori had just down-right mocked harshly.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say, and even this came to him after he had been standing there for at least five or ten minutes, "For saying that. I didn't-"

"Let's just go," Deidara murmured, getting on his feet and hastily wiping his seemingly dry eye on his right sleeve as he did. "Let's go, un."

Sasori caught sight of something black on Deidara's sleeve and mentioned this to the blonde since the latter now held brief similarity to someone who had never seen a night's sleep when his eyes were shadowed by black.

"Damn," Deidara cursed as they headed off, then proceeding to wipe his eyes clean with his other sleeve instead. "Still there?" he asked, looking at Sasori.

"Nope. What was it, anyways?"

Deidara raised his sleeve in front of Sasori's face, showing how uneven the edge in reality was. "Burnt it, un," he offered simply as an explanation.

"Burnt it...?"

"Yes." Then suddenly, Deidara's usual, happy grin was back, and it seemed like he was going to act like the whole scene at the graveyard had never even taken place. Though Sasori couldn't just forget about it; it bothered him. Deidara had never struck to him as a person who just lashed out like that, so his best guess was that this whole thing had _really_ hit a nerve.

Could a happy-go-lucky person like him really have a person they had once cared about that much?

In a way, of course it was possible. No matter what kind of a person they were, mostly everyone had someone like that, someone important enough to give up the world for. (Just not Sasori, but he had always considered himself more or less emotionless.)

The reason why he found it weird was that if Deidara had had a person like that, how come he could still tug that smile on his face at all times?

(Was it even real?)

"Hey, are there any bars around here?" Deidara suddenly asked.

Now contemplating on the skill of Deidara asking completely random question at a time like this, Sasori shrugged. "Bars as in beer? I don't drink."

Hidan, like most people, considered drinking to be a classy activity; Sasori considered it to be legal torture and destroying brain cells.

"Damn..." Deidara murmured quietly. "I've got nothing, then, un."

"So your first choice is a bar and your second choice doesn't exist?" Sasori scolded him, "Think of something or you definitely aren't worth my while."

"Am too worth your while, un," Deidara insisted, "Once I think of something. This town isn't in my comfort zone, un..."

Sasori suddenly got the idea he had been needing. "We should eat. Yours wrists are too thin and I bet you are too."

"No way. That's not even remotely fun, un," Deidara disagreed, "Besides, I ate _just_ before you got there. So that was about, two hours ago. I'm not hungry, un."

"There's nothing worth visiting in this town, brat," Sasori muttered, "And most definitely nothing _fun_."

"There has got to be something..." Deidara whined. "Hey, what about a café, un? Or a bakery? Your treat, un!"

Sasori sighed, "Okay. Whatever as long as I can get rid of you."

"So there is a café some around here, un?" Deidara asked him happily, "Take me there!"

Suddenly, Sasori knew what it was about all this that had seemed suspicious at the back of his mind.

Deidara didn't know about the woods - and everyone, absolutely everyone, who had been living in the town for at least a while, everyone knew the woods. They absolutely had to.

Which meant that there was no way Deidara would've lived there before. But then, how come he knew where the graveyard was, so accurately, too, and knew the exact location of a certain grave. Well, knew the exact location after a few moments of doubt, but still.

All of that sounded suspiciously like a part of it was a lie; actually, a part of it almost had to be a lie since it didn't make any sense otherwise.

But what part of it _was_ the lie?

* * *

><p>^ If you're wondering, Deidara was referring to the European 'café', because if this thing took place in real world, it would be in Europe. Also, my knowledge on America is below average, so... An European café is the place where they sell coffee and stuff. Light meals, sandwiches, baked thing and sometimes alcohol. In case anyone was wondering, thought I'd mention it.<p>

And oooh my Goood, the plot keeps thickening in every other direction _but _the one I had in mind. We'll get there... sometime, I hope. Meanwhile, hope you're enjoying it. Like I mentioned before, I liked writing this chapter~

I have to ask; do the chapter names make any sense now? OwO

And if you have the time... A review, as you know, would make my day... They always do~ (anddontwanttowriteifyounoread)

See you~


	8. Failure

Hiya~

This chapter was _such a bitch _to write, seriously. It didn't want to be written and I was pretty unmotivated by the low number of reviews on the last chapter (which, for the record, was two) and I was busy and gah.

But hey, thanks to you two lovely reviewers for last chapter~ Alerter and favoriter, too~ You're the only reason I made it anyways~ :D :D

**Words: **2,031 (Hey, it's still past the magical 2K, which seemed impossible still an hour ago)  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Surprise of the day! I don't own! OwO**  
>Warnings:<strong>Swearing...

Go on, go on. Chapter 8, 'Failure'.

...I just realized how ironic that is.

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><p>Sasori ended up having to take Deidara to a café, since the blonde seemed fully incapable of navigating his way there, even if Sasori gave him the exact directions. And, no matter how involuntary it may have been, with this he ended up confirming Sasori's beliefs of what a brat he in fact was.<p>

"You don't have any special place you want to go to, right?" Sasori asked him once more, just to make sure, to be certain he wouldn't get any complaints afterwards.

Deidara shrugged uninterestedly, "Nope. Just nowhere too fancy and I'll live, un."

"Thought so," Sasori agreed lazily, "Kurenai's it is."

"Kurenai's..." Deidara repeated, seeming to be testing what the name sounded like ever so slowly. "Yeah, sounds alright to me."

With that lop-sided agreement, they started making their way towards the café, which, Sasori grimly realized, ended up being closer to his own home than he would've liked with the unstable blonde trailing behind him.

The bell at the door cheerfully announced Kurenai about their arrival, and the black-haired older woman could soon be heard instructing her daughter, a teenage girl Sasori didn't know the name of, and frankly couldn't really bother to care about.

The black-haired girl soon walked up to them with a wide, friendly smile on her face. "Hello. What would you two like?"

Sasori inwardly grimaced at this. Even though they had come together (which he hadn't even got the chance to actually negotiate about), did she have to talk about 'you two' like they were... _actually _people who got along or something?

"Tea," Deidara told her simply, probably automatically responding to the smile politely with one of his own, though not nearly as wide as hers. "White, if you will, un."

Sasori, who hadn't even known about the existence of white tea, let alone about the differences of between any tea colors, before this, was surprised to say the least.

The girl, however, nodded at the request, waiting to hear if Deidara felt like continuing with another thing he would've liked.

"And..." Deidara glanced at Sasori like he was contemplating how much he could make the other pay for his sake, since he had already announced before that this trip was indeed paid with Sasori's money. "A simple sandwich would be fine... If you have salad to put in it, the better, un."

She nodded again, now turning to Sasori, her hand moving to her waist as the other traced half a circle in the air. "And for you, sir?"

"Coffee," the still dumb-founded red head muttered indifferently, not bothering to ask her for anything edible to go with it. It's not like he wanted to waste all his money here when he could always go back home and make himself food, in the end getting more and for cheaper than what he ever would here.

He subconsciously noted that Deidara's situation was probably the opposite, or close to it, at least.

She pointed them to a table, one located close to a window facing outside, where the sun had already mostly set, but it wasn't really all that cold. Yet, at least. "I'll be right back," she then noted them, chirping off through the door.

"White tea, huh?" Sasori questioned the blue-eyed blonde as they sat down on the table across each other.

"Yeah, un. I prefer it over yellow," Deidara responded coyly, "But it doesn't make that much of a difference as long as it's tea, un."

"I never took you for the tea-drinking type," Sasori told him, for the sake of continuing the conversation and maybe even directing it to a new subject, one he was undeniably curious to learn more about.

"As mentioned, you know nothing about me, un," Deidara all but snapped, smiling slightly irritably. "So you can as well stop assuming things."

"Maybe if you told me something about yourself, I would be more willing to stop trying to assume I know you when I don't."

Deidara seemed ready to answer, but to Sasori's dismay, _that _was the exact moment the girl decided to come back, carrying two cups and a sandwich on a wooden lunch tray.

Of course, the blonde seemed pretty happy to see her, for reasons Sasori thought included getting rid of the (to him, at least) bothersome conversation, and also more or less the fact that she was indeed just that; _a girl_.

She turned to Sasori, for some strange reason, when she remembered about the payment needed for their food.

"That would be twelve bronze coins," she told him sweetly.

Deidara looked away guiltily as Sasori fished his coin pouch for the appropriate amount of coins, handing them to the girl. Only then did the blonde take his sandwich, ridding of it with the guilty look staying on his face, shadowing his expression.

Sasori still cursed the girl for entering right at that moment as he glared at his cup; had that not happened, he might've actually got an answer out of Deidara this time.

After quietly finishing his table, Deidara glanced at the horizon with a glazed over expression for some seconds before absently raising the tea cup from the table, gently blowing on it before carefully raising it to his lips, holding it with his hands like it was the world's greatest treasure when Sasori could practically put his life on line that it actually wasn't that.

Honestly speaking, Sasori had never seen anyone do something like that, treating a mere tea cup like it actually held some sort of importance in the setting.

Though now that Sasori was thinking about it he recalled Hidan may have mentioned something a long time back...

_"People are fucking strict about manners at the better circles, you know? They have fucking -rules- for drinking tea! It's just fucking tea, seriously!" _was the pretty exact term he had used.

"Rules?" Sasori had repeated amusedly, "Deity damn me before I see you drinking tea like a royal and making small-talk about the weather..."

"What're you thinking about, un?" Deidara suddenly brought him back from his thoughts. When Sasori looked up, he could see that the blonde had stopped his tea cup-worshipping actions in favor of watching him suspiciously, his visible eye just reaching over the tea cup in his hand.

He was nearly honored.

"Nothing," Sasori responded lazily, finding himself enjoying when he had the blonde's attention on himself again.

"Liar," Deidara accused him calmly, taking a breath like he was going to start an actual lecture on the subject, "You can't think about nothing. Even if you are thinking 'nothingnothingnothingnothing', then you are thinking about thinking nothing, which ends up with you actually thinking about something, un."

Rolling his eyes at the technicalities the other had never before seemed too fond of, Sasori went to fix his statement, "Things."

"Good," Deidara agreed, blowing at his tea carefully again, preparing to take another well-thought sip of it, "You don't have to lie if you can refrain from answering or fully evade the question."

"...You always evade mine," Sasori observed, noticing that it was actually more than accurate. It was more common that the blonde gave him a vague answer or none at all than to have him give an actual, straight answer.

"Do I, now, un?" Deidara countered.

"Like what you're doing right now," he agreed, motioning at Deidara with his hand that wasn't holding the cup of coffee absently to further emphasize his point.

Deidara chuckled, setting his beloved tea cup down in order to give Sasori a half-mocking look while leaning on his elbows on the table slightly. "Sorry, un. Wasn't aware that was a question."

"It was a statement," Sasori started, "But you still left it without an answer, so it counts."

"Statements don't need to be answered, un."

Sasori dismissed this by raising the cup to his lips. "You never know… Maybe some of them do require an answer after all…"

Deidara seemed to deem this statement unworthy of being turned into an actual conversation, since he moved to cross his leg on top of the other and then turned to look around the place some, dropping the subject.

Sasori wondered when was the last time the other had got his hands on white tea, especially since his classy tea-drinking manners seemed to suggest that it had happened at some point.

He even contemplated on simply _asking _the other about this, but decided that he preferred asking questions that would actually earn him an answer, no matter how useless they were.

"Where were you staying before this town?" he asked instead.

"Somewhere else, un," Deidara replied, at least outwardly seeming to be overly bored by the casual subject of their current conversation.

He sighed, knowing that he probably should've seen that coming.

He then decided on a different approach, even though he was aware of the many, many ways it could go wrong.

"Are you a Diamond?" Sasori commented in a half-desperate attempt to get an actual answer to his doubts, though he inwardly grimaced at the thought that this artist, an actually talented one even though Sasori would never admit it aloud, would be something Sasori himself looked down upon - a Diamond, bound to be a normal, boring worker.

Suddenly he got the strange urge to defend his seemingly out of the blue-question, and hastily added, "You have so many Diamond-shaped patches in your clothes that I would hard be surprised if you were,"

He shrugged. "My mother was... is. My father was a Spade, un."

Sasori _thought_he saw Deidara tense ever so slightly. He couldn't have sensed Sasori's disgust towards Diamonds, could he?

"My mother was... Is, un."

That wasn't an answer, either. Why did the blonde insist on making everything so mysterious and _difficult_?

"Was?"

"She's dead..." Deidara started, frowning, "At least I think she is, un. I can't remember."

"You don't just forget things like that," Sasori noted. _He _hadn't even forgotten about the fact that both of his parents were dead, and he had never really cared that much about them to begin with.

He shook his head in some strange sort of agreement. "I haven't forgotten, I guess... I just don't really know, un. I barely met her."

"Why?" Sasori knew it came out more as prying to Deidara's life as he originally intended, but he couldn't really help being a little _curious_. "If she was your mother-"

"Issues, un," Deidara cut him off, "There are some issues I'd rather leave unspoken, okay? I'll tell you about it... If I do, un." He sighed in a sort of depressed way after his words, hanging his head and frowning faintly.

And for some strange reason, Sasori didn't like that expression on the blonde. He claimed in his mind that this was only because he wasn't used to seeing it and because in the end, he liked it when situations didn't change all of a sudden. "Hey, cheer up, brat. That frown looks stupid on your face."

He wasn't sure why, but right after he had said that, Deidara was back to grinning grinning happily again. "Sorry, un. I got all depressed, but I'm over it now! Let's go, un!" With that, he stood up from his chair.

"Wait a minute," Sasori half-groaned. "I'm still drinking this," he muttered, gesturing at his cup of coffee.

Sighing very theatrically, Deidara sat back down. "You'd better be quick, then, un."

"Working on it," Sasori countered, being only a little bit sarcastic.

Deidara's long fingers tapped against the wood of the table like a malfunctioning pendulum as he waited for Sasori to finish unhappily.

The redhead was not actually happy to keep him waiting, either, but he had paid for that cup of coffee and he would too finish that cup of coffee.

"Done yet?" Deidara asked him suddenly, standing up.

"Not."

The blonde seemed to not have heard his answer as he rolled his shoulders lazily. "I'll be right outside, okay? I don't like staying still for that long, un."

Sasori shrugged, letting the blonde dismiss himself, listening to the bell sounding upon Deidara leaving.

Only after hearing that and seeing the blonde leave, he remembered how unnervingly stupid it was of him to have the blonde wandering within 500 metres of his house.

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><p>123/12 Went back and fixed a silly, silly mistake. Originally, their table was outside, but alas, it made no sense when Deidara comments that he'll be waiting outside. :)

500 metres ~~ one third of a mile or so. Because I'm still doing the European thing... And because I'm tired. You know.

I would like to get reviews... I just now realized that writing and bothering to write is that much easier with every review. :)

Either way, see ya?


	9. Excited

Honestly, I was really really really happy with the amount of positive feedback last chapter got again. (Eight reviews! Eight! :D And even LaughMaker found her way here~ :3) I love you all, seriously. You're sure a support pillar to me... :)

Also, if anyone noticed, I went back and edited last chapter, because I found a brain-fail from there. Deidara and Sasori were eating _o__ut__side _and then Deidara says he'll be waiting _outside_... -.-'' Well, it's fixed now... They weren't eating outside after all. *awkward laugh*

**Disclaimer:** Disclaimed; I don't own. I did write, though...  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Swearing.  
><strong>Words: <strong>2,187

Go ahead; chapter titled with a bad, sort of unintended un-pun; 'Excited'. Anyone see the theme behind the chapter titles yet...?

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><p>Upon stepping outside, Sasori realized just how dark it had got while they were leisurely drinking coffee and tea at the café. He was almost surprised he hadn't taken note that the light at the place wasn't coming from the sun anymore, but rather from the candles scattered around and somewhat from the pale moonlight shining through the clouds.<p>

There weren't even too many people outside anymore, because unlike before, it was very cold by now. Cold enough that Sasori couldn't bring a bucket of water outside without having to fear that in the morning, it would be at least partly frozen.

And frankly, the only person Sasori could spot, at least before his eyes got the chance to fully adjust, was a rather familiar (too familiar)-looking blonde.

"Look, look, look, un!" Deidara exclaimed, whirling around, his hands reaching towards the sky.

Sasori looked up, as instructed, and was suddenly face to face with countless and countless of small, bright dots, even though most of the sky was covered by thick clouds. "…There are always stars up in the sky, brat," he muttered irritably, "What's so special about it?"

"I love stars," Deidara murmured dazedly, "They are there, shining brightly, and suddenly - FLASH! They're gone, un!"

"Stars don't just disappear," Sasori disagreed, "Their lifespan is... very long, and when they do disappear, it takes hours for us to see it."

"So I take it you like stars as well, un?" Deidara observed, tracing constellations with his hand, wearing a confident grin on his barely illuminated face.

"Did I say I did?"

"No, but..." Deidara turned to him, dropping his hand and then stepping towards Sasori, leaving between them so little distance that Sasori could just raise his hand and then pull Deidara's ponytail off without even having to move the blonde's head towards himself. That little.

"You think they're eternal, and you must be aware that that-" Deidara motioned up at the sky, "-is art, un. Which means you like them. Simple logic, un."

Sasori chuckled, resisting the urge to step back from the awkward almost-contact because this was obviously another of Deidara's methods of making everyone else feel insecure. Had to be. "Observant."

"You know it, un," Deidara agreed, "Besides, one of us has to be. Right, un?"

Sasori frowned. "Hey! Are you saying that I'm-"

"Yes, I'm saying you're dense, un. You just don't understand what you see; while you do see the full picture, you can't pay attention to the important little details. Got it, un?"

"Whatever you say," muttered Sasori, pointedly rolling his eyes.

"Actually," the clown suddenly murmured, "This wasn't exactly the fun I had in mind. Since you don't want to drink," he muttered something too quietly for Sasori to catch it, "I thought we could find a better spot for star-gazing?"

"Tonight is a terrible night for stargazing," Sasori found himself stating, "It's cloudy and cold. Usually it's only one of those, anyways. Not to mention that night-time isn't exactly safe, either."

"Yeah, Jokers this and Jokers that," Deidara agreed with a bitter edge to his voice, "Heard the story before, un. And if you had been listening, you would've heard that I don't quite agree with you opinion on that one, un."

Sasori sighed, irritated by his companion already. "And if you had been listening until the end of my sentence, you would've known I was talking about wolves."

"It's pretty easy for you to say that now," Deidara muttered unhappily, hanging his head, "You're just a sore loser, un."

"If that's true," Sasori muttered, trying to remember the blonde's expression of not being happy so that he could tell it from the fake saddened frown he might have seen before, "Then you are hardly any better yourself."

Deidara chuckled, "You just have to get the last word, don't you, un?"

"Guilty as charged. Do share a minor detail of yourself in exchange."

Sasori could practically _see_ Deidara's brain working to pull out a detail that wouldn't be too uninteresting, too _fake_, yet not too important to help Sasori make any sense to his strange persona. Deidara's brain was probably working just as hard, if not harder, as Sasori's when the red head stumbled over himself in a half-desperate search for answers, though the latter wasn't even certain why he even bothered anymore.

Because it was plain obvious that Deidara didn't want to share absolutely anything with him. It was obvious that the blonde had his reasons for this secrecy and that they were important enough to make him go through all this trouble to keep quiet about them.

Had it been... say, Hidan, the one keeping countless of secrets and lying to him (because Sasori wouldn't be surprised, had Deidara lied to him), Sasori probably wouldn't have bothered to ask about it more than once and then he might've taken Hidan's offer to _'kindly fuck off and stop fucking asking about it'_.

Deidara, on the other hand, was interesting. He was different, not to mention that he was... Deidara. In his mind, Sasori needed no more reasons to continue trying to get to know the blonde.

"I don't remember if I've told you before..." Deidara started uncertainly, rising up on his toes and then setting back down. Up, down, up, down... "But I'm not educated, un. I can't write, I can't read, I couldn't even spell out my name if needed, un."

"What, why?" Sasori asked him, sort of surprised even though he probably should've known. Even _middle-class _couldn't get education most of the time, and with his burnt, ripped and patched-up clothes and dirty hair and starved body-shape, Deidara certainly didn't seem to belong in middle-class.

Sasori himself, being an Ace, had naturally been given just about the best education any non-royal could get, but he had certainly come across less fortunate people in the past and most definitely would in the future as well.

Deidara chuckled in a miserable way. "Hey, I'm not one of the... rich kids, un. I prefer living over being educated and then dying from starvation. Every day I've lived a day longer and every night I can grin up at the moon," Deidara motioned in the cloudy, starry sky, even though the moon wasn't even currently visible at the time, "And say _'I beat death again today, un'_, un."

Despite himself, Sasori chuckled quietly as Deidara attached his speech habit to the end of his sentence seemingly twice. "People don't just die like that, brat," he then muttered, "Living another day is hardly a surprise."

"Really?" Deidara asked him with a raised eyebrow, "I beg to differ. Right now, I could have an unexplainable illness; maybe I wouldn't see tomorrow, un. Maybe I'll starve myself because I can't get enough money for a piece of bread-"

"You certainly seem like you might," Sasori commented, eyeing the blonde's exposed midriff and ribs he could make out through skin, now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness.

"Stop checking me out when I'm talking," Deidara complained, his hands crossing loosely over his chest and his wide sleeves falling to cover most of his stomach. "And as I was saying; maybe I'll kill myself because it's so deity-damn _cold _and maybe someone will walk by and recognize me..." he shook his head slowly, sighing before continuing, "-recognize me as a stray and then kill me, un."

"You never told me you were a stray," Sasori accused suddenly, probably cutting Deidara off again, "I would've-"

Deidara chuckled, again with that down-right miserable chuckle that made him seem so much younger and more fragile all of a sudden. "You wouldn't have done anything, un. If you would've done something, you would've done it when I first asked if you knew a place I could stay, you would've confessed that you lived nearby and asked me to come with you, un."

Before Sasori got the chance to argue, Deidara continued, "Besides, it's _obvious_." He took his hands from his chest in favor of pointing at himself. "If you really never saw it before, it's only because you didn't want to, not because I did something to hide it, un."

After this, Sasori had no retort left, other than finally admitting (though very, very reluctantly), in a quiet, sort of defeated voice, "...you're right. Sorry."

Deidara chuckled for the third time within a small amount of time, though this one sounded like it was more amused than miserable. "You're not, but I appreciate the lie, un. What do you say, shall we go?"

Honestly tired with the conversation by now, Sasori nodded numbly, "Where to?"

"Anywhere," Deidara murmured, seeming like he was in one hell of a daze, "The sky's the limit, isn't it, un?"

Sasori shook his head, not quite believing the blonde had just said _that_. "You're... a totally hopeless romantic, brat. I would've never guessed."

"So shoot me, I'm a hopeless romantic... un," Deidara murmured with an awkward, tentative smile that somehow seemed happier than most of his smiles did.

The red head chuckled. "You did not strike me as that kind of a person, brat."

"How many times have you said that now? I think that's like, the thousandth time, un..." Deidara complained. Then suddenly, he smiled widely, like he had just had the greatest idea _ever_know to man.

"_Let's go to the circus, un!_" Deidara exclaimed so loudly that Sasori wouldn't have been surprised if any moment now, someone opened their window, threw a shoe aimed at the blonde's head and screamed at him to have him keep it down. "Look, look, loooook~" he then murmured, tugging at Sasori's arm violently and guiding him back to a worn poster tacked on the wall of the café. Sasori read it, if for nothing else, to honor Deidara and to get him to _shut up_.

_Konoha Circus_ (who would be dumb enough to name a circus that lamely, Sasori would probably never know)

(there was a drawing in the space after the title, probably trying to be... a donkey? Or a clown?)

_In town only this week!_

_Main acts include talents such as O...chi..._

Sasori wasn't even sure what the main acts were trying to be, the paper had suffered from the weather and other circumstances so much. O-chi-something and then something else.

"It's night, brat. The circus in only open..." Sasori squinted to make out the time, only to fail horribly in the darkness, "-during daytime, I think."

Deidara was quiet for a while, and before Sasori remembered that he actually was not the little kid he oftentimes acted like, he momentarily thought the clown would just break down and cry.

"Well, tomorrow?" the blonde finally offered, "I really want to go there, un."

"What, you want me to waste my money again?" Sasori asked, frowning.

The blonde suddenly flinched, and Sasori could see his back snap straight suddenly. "No way, un!" he cried, "Don't worry about that... I'll get us there, un. I swear I will… And I won't get you in trouble, either, un." he offered his hand to Sasori to shake hands with him. "Deal, un?"

Sasori looked at him suspiciously, "And how are you going to do _that_?"

Deidara's grin seemed almost ghostly in the darkness as he replied, "Don't worry about that, un." He then moved his extended hand a little, "Deal?"

"If…" Sasori started, "Wait, how did you know about the circus?"

The blonde pointed at the poster with the hand he had raised before, "What do you mean, how? It's right there, isn't it, un?"

"But you said that you weren't educated…" Sasori explained, frowning, "Can't you just stop lying to me already?" The last part came out more bitter than how he would've intended, but he didn't want to state that aloud.

Deidara laughed at this, "I didn't _lie_, Sasori, un. I'm not educated. But, you know… You just know some things by heart when needed, un."

Sasori frowned, not really seeing the logic of this, but nodded slowly, taking the hand. "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow and you'll get us in. If any complications occur, I'll-"

He was interrupted by Deidara chuckling, "There won't be any complications, _Danna_." He bowed in respect after his words, "It will be fine, I assure you, un."

"Danna?" Sasori echoed, perplexed.

Deidara smiled at him as got back up. "Master. You're mine, aren't you, un?"

Sasori shrugged dismissedly. He could always question that further when he was more awake. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, un," Deidara agreed, looking around and then making his leave through the alleyways, headed south-east. Soon enough he had disappeared off in the darkness.

"Wait!" Sasori called after him, "Last time, you left towards west, even after you said you'd go east. And now you're going south-east? Where the hell are you staying?"

Deidara chuckled eerily somewhere off the distance. "You won't show me your house, so you seeing my place would be an unfair advantage for you, would it not, un?" With that, he was gone again.

In the end, Sasori wished he had never even asked, because evidently, the answer left him even more confused than what he had been before first gaining it.

* * *

><p>Before you put that in your high school essay; Sasori is wrong. It takes years for us to notice a star's died, four for the one closest apart from The Sun. Just had to note that I didn't think it takes hours... xP<p>

Personally, I liked Deidara's line, _"Stop checking me out when I'm talking"_. Why yes, I found that nice somehow. Why yes, I am that lame. Indeed.

That's that. Hope you liked. Umm... Review? *puppy-eyes* I need it... /shot

Well, anyways, see ya~


	10. Frightening

Hello, you~ Yes, another Sunday is (finally) here~ And that means I stayed up late last night with a can of Coke (one that I still haven't finished, for the record) and two amazing people to chat with to finish (read: _write_) this chapter. ^^

You know what, you? I can't tell you guys how much I love you. Seriously. SOB. You're too awesome. Last chapter got 10 reviews, _and this story has over fifty reviews now!_

Seriously. That's awesome. You guys are awesome. So awesome. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

If anyone has any writing requests to make (ever~) or something they'd really like to see in this story, say the word and I'll see what I can do. I love you all.

**Words:** 2,425  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Even though _I_ am trying to cut down my swearing, the same does not apply to my characters.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>I don't own anything but the plot. I'm pretty happy about that, though...

There's a reason why this chapter is titled '_Frightening_' instead of 'Frightened', you know. If you can see what it is, say the word... I'm starting to think that my chapter-naming is too irrational...

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><p>Sasori moved through his morning in a slight daze because he wasn't sure, even now, if he should really go meet up with the clown and then pretty much cheat their way into the circus, for the lack of a better term. He wasn't sure if the blonde was trust-worthy in this, but then again, he was a <em>stray <em>(unless he had lied about that as well). And strays had to be good when it came down to getting inside places, so sense had it... that he shouldn't worry if he was accompanied by said stray on his journey. Right?

Besides, it was just a trip to the _circus_. What's the worst that could happen? They could be caught getting in without paying and then thrown out. So what? It wasn't like _he _even wanted to go in the first place, but Deidara did, and that left him with no options because... Because he had promised, had he not? He had had a weak moment of some sort and so he had gone and promised the blonde to go and _have fun with him_.

Hooray.

Lazily, he looked around his house for a change of remotely normal-looking clothes, even knowing that when he was with Deidara, who had that worn-out, patched-up clown-attire, all of his efforts of normality were completely in vain; he would never seem normal with the strange blonde by his side.

In the end, he went with a dark-brown jacket over a t-shirt and another shirt and matching, slightly lighter brown pants. He knew how cold it was out there, after all; he had certainly found out about that yesterday.

Momentarily, he wondered what kind of canvas the blonde's clothes were made of. They certainly didn't seem to do a very good job when it came down to keeping him warm; even his stomach or feet weren't fully covered.

Not like it mattered - the blonde had to have the decency to find another choice of dress for the circus either way; he didn't need to show off or attract attention today, anyways.

With those reassuring words echoing his mind, he headed out the door and probably for the first time since first meeting him, acknowledged the fact that _he was looking for that blonde_.

There weren't too many people out and about just yet; it was still early, and most people were just waking up either way. The only people out as Sasori passed by the market were salesmen setting up their stalls for the day and some people who were going to work somewhere a little farther from their homes and thus needed to wake up early to get there in time.

In the end he found the blonde he had wanted to find sitting on that peg of his, and it actually took Sasori a moment to recognize him.

Because like he had originally suspected, Deidara had actually got himself another choice of dress; a simple, dirty and only sort of white t-shirt and black pants. And instead of tying his hair in place with the ribbon on his shirt, this time he had done so with a piece of string tied around his neck and catching his hair in a tight knot on the front.

The only things he had left from his usual clothing were his shoes and his light gloves.

This being strange because along with his usual attire, he had also ditched his ponytail, leaving his blonde hair open, flowing down his neck more freely than how it usually was.

"Danna, un~" he murmured upon noticing the red head from the corner of his eye, hopping down and walking a few quick steps up to the other man.

"Deidara-" Sasori only barely managed to keep his voice from rising in pitch in apparent question by cutting himself off almost as quickly as he had started speaking in the first place.

A roll of a blue eye greeted him for saying this. "Way to state the obvious, un. Ready to go yet?"

Sasori promptly ignored the question, instead muttering, "I guess I never really realized just how girlish you truly were..."

"Yeah, sure, you too, _now can we go_?" Deidara muttered anxiously, even going as far as tapping his right foot on the ground tiles in obvious displeasure towards the slowly moving situation currently in hand.

Sasori raised a red eyebrow of his, but didn't really find the right words to voice the questions of _'what the hell are you going on at?'_, _'are you really that desperate to go?'_ and _'are you saying I look like a woman?'_, and ended up glaring at the blonde half-heartedly as he nodded in a yes.

"You know the way, un?" Deidara asked him, grinning, seemingly oblivious of the glare that was currently being thrown his way.

Sasori knew he probably should've expected this; of course the airhead of a blonde would have absolutely no idea where his 'fun' would be held in the first place, but as it was, Sasori didn't know this, either. He hadn't even noticed the posters for the circus before Deidara had none-too-discretely pointed one out to him the night before. And in the darkness, he hadn't really seen all of the details.

He shrugged dismissedly, looking away from the blonde's intent eyes. "We'll have to check the location first, but of course I can guide you there after we do that."  
>Deidara grinned like he had just been given told that he could set on a grand adventure with the love of his life instead of going to a petty circus with a more or less reluctant red head. "Sure thing~" He then paused thoughtfully before continuing, "I really thought you were going to back on your word, un..."<p>

"I promised," Sasori said simply, "Besides, if I were to go back on my word, I wouldn't have shown up here in the first place, would I now?"

"I thought you were just going to... Add to the insult by showing up and then saying you wouldn't want to go with me after all. You know, un?" Deidara tilted his head, smiling and continuing again before Sasori could respond to him, "Actually, never mind, un. It doesn't matter; you're here, un. Let's go."

Sasori felt a small smile tug at his lips; the blonde was certainly something else.

"Sure. I'll lead the way, then."

Deidara agreed, moving in a circle to try and at least look in the right direction before they set off. He ended up staring in the exact opposite of where they were headed, and Sasori sighed at how hopeless he could be at times.

He promptly turned the blonde around by his wrists, walking half a circle around him until Deidara's nose pointed in the general direction of the café. "Sorry, but you're incorrect, the café is in the other direction; try again."

The blonde frowned slightly. "I wasn't even looking for it, un," he protested childishly.

"Sure you weren't," Sasori muttered with a roll of his eyes as he started walking.

"No really, I wasn't!" Deidara insisted, throwing his arms up to try and bring out his point. "I wasn't, un!"

Sasori decided to utterly ignore this, knowing he would have a headache within half an hour an hour at most in the blonde's company if he paid too much attention to his company.

Not to mention that he would most likely have to spend the _whole day _with him, meaning that he could _not _get a headache so early in the day.

"Hey, you can't ignore me, un!" the now annoyed blonde complained, rushing to his side.

"Watch me," Sasori snapped back irritably, "I can still go back on my word, you know?"

_That_ shut the blonde up rather quickly, and he even dropped his pace to trail somewhere behind Sasori somewhat regrettably.

It was quiet for a while, but honestly speaking, Sasori wasn't all too happy with that (_seemed like he wasn't happy with anything that day, really_). If he didn't hear the blonde constantly talking and if he was so far behind that his footsteps (even when equipped with those stupid, volume-increasing wooden bands) were far too quiet for Sasori to listen to, how was he supposed to know the other was even there.

"Don't be such a drama queen," he finally commented as they approached the café. It was his version of saying something to convey the message of _'Sorry if I said something wrong. Seems like I tend to do that pretty often, especially when it comes to you.'_

There was no response as he turned to look at the blonde, other than an absent smile on his face and a slight movement of his head that could really be taken as a tilt, a nod or a shake; basically Sasori could've taken it as whatever he wanted it to be, but an answer wasn't really what he was looking for, but rather a sign that the other was still alive and _there_.

"It's on the field on the east side of the town... Huh, weird," Sasori commented after reading the poster - in full daylight this time - in hopes of gaining something other than a smile and a weird movement of the blonde's head in response. "I would've set it somewhere else, personally... Do they even have Neji's permission to be doing this?"

"They have to," Deidara suddenly replied, curiously looking at the poster like he understood more than the picture, which, Sasori now realized, was someone's attempt to draw a circus tent rather than a donkey. "It's not just some tiny little circus, I think, so they just _have to_ have their permissions before they even think about dumping their things somewhere, un."

Sasori gave a weird look to the blonde, who suddenly seemed to have snapped back to being himself, and then nodded, "I suppose you're right."

"There's no need to suppose anything; I'm always right, un," the other murmured smugly, chuckling proudly.

Sasori raised a questioning eyebrow at his statement despite himself. "Says the retard who thinks that art is fleeting."

"Oh, so you still remember something so minor about me, un?"

"Art isn't minor."

"Okay, it's not, un. That much I'll agree on. But it's definitely not eternal, either. Sense has it, un... Nothing else is eternal, so why would art be, un?"

"Because it's art. Sense has it. Besides, Card Marks are eternal, aren't they?"

He seemed to have snapped a nerve (_again_), because his companion down-right snarled at him for bringing that up (_again_). "No, they aren't. You have your Card Mark and then you die, end of story, un."

"People will know your Card Mark even after you've died," Sasori reasoned for him, starting to walk east because he knew that if he didn't, they would never get there.

"They won't if they don't care. Or know, for that matter, un."

"Referring to a certain blonde with an obsession to stubbornly believing that art is fleeting?" Sasori asked, raising an eyebrow. He knew Deidara's Card Mark was somewhat of a taboo when they spoke; something better left unmentioned.

But how was he supposed to trust him if he didn't know? The blonde companion of his could be a filthy, low-ranked Diamond or he could be something else that would be better off if it didn't even exist in the first place.

"If I am, un? Do you have something against that, un?" Deidara snapped, rather clearly on defensive now.

"Yes," Sasori hissed in response. He wanted to tug the blonde into some abandoned alley – now that it was a little later, there were actually people around, and those people were _staring_ -, but then the blonde might protest and maybe even _scream_, and that would attract that much more rather unwanted attention on them than simple arguing ever could. "Now that you mention it, I do. You've known _my_ Card Mark before I even had the chance to politely tell you about it. It would be only fair if you returned the favor."

"Not a chance," Deidara disagreed, "Besides, it's really not my fault if I happen to know things, un."

"Why not? Don't you want to trust me with such an everyday thing?" Sasori asked him tiredly. Why was it such a sore spot to Deidara, anyways? _Who was he?_

"It's not that simple, Danna," Deidara murmured with such a pleading tone that it almost hurt, "You wouldn't understand, un. Please don't say I don't trust you…"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that you don't…" Sasori guilt-tripped him.

"I trust you more than I've trusted anyone in a long, long time, Sasori no Danna…" Deidara murmured, whimpering, "But… No, un. I can't tell you that… Sorry."

Losing his incredibly short temper, Sasori pinned Deidara against the wall, gaining rather few gasps from the people around them, and he happened to know _why_.

Deidara, who had a fucking close to a perfect, girlish hourglass-body shape, at least from afar, and blonde hair he just so wore _open_ that day, looked just like a good young girl for anyone who didn't know him like Sasori apparently knew him.

And Sasori, who, no matter what Deidara had said before, damn well looked like a guy, was holding his chin, forcing the blonde's eye(s) to meet his watching gaze, and probably seemed like he was going to just about take advantage of the _'poor girl'_.

But now that it was already done, what could he do anymore? So instead of drawing away and apologizing (_like he should have_), he hissed at the blonde, "Tell me."

Deidara's eyes were wide in obvious panic and near terror, and Sasori, for pretty much for the first time in his life, felt like a total bastard for doing that to the blonde he sort of liked being around and talking to.

A second, two, three passed, and then Deidara hesitantly opened his mouth. Sasori, excepting an answer, let his hold on him slacken a little.

And then the blonde was screaming clearly on the top of his voice.

"_RAPE_!"

In the two, three seconds it took Sasori to think _'What the fuck_?', Deidara had already ducked underneath his arms and run away in some totally random direction.

And had they not been doing so before, people really were staring _now_. Along with glaring and whispering and seeming pretty much utterly disgusted at the left-alone red head.

It didn't even take the usual three seconds before the next thought entered Sasori's head.

_Shit_.

* * *

><p>Deidara hates me. He messed up the plot <em>again<em>. I don't even know how many times that has happened now.

But hey, at least the plot is thickening for a change. And I promise that sooner or later, the circus will happen. I want to write it too.

Probably won't even have to mention how much reviews and stuff inspires me. *happy sort of sigh* I won't make you review (duh), but you'll know how much I'd appreciate if you did.

Until next time, see ya~


	11. Lacking

Hi~

Happy Valentine's Day, two days earlyyyy~ Consider this my present? /shot

Well either way, I love you all. Yes, I keep on saying that. Yes, I know that. But it's only because I feel... like it's not enough. Well, you know, anyways.

Love you all. Thanks for loving me back, whenever you do~ I'm not sure if I deserve it, but I'll try and continue to do my best.

**Words:** 2,304  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Swearing. More foreshadowing. Mwahaha.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Guess what? _No own_.

Well, read on. Chapter that would be titled 'Apologizing', but it's not, because it's '_Stature_'.

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><p>Even though most people who were there stayed after the strange ordeal, only around five actually walked up to Sasori to question him about what had just taken place there.<p>

And even then, the only question he was asked was this;

"What's your Card Mark?"

He pulled his collar down and extended his neck to display the small, black mark on the base of his neck. "I'm an Ace of Clubs," he muttered, adding a silent 'thank you very much' afterwards.

The man who had asked him the sort of out of place-question instantly stepped back upon gaining his answer, even bowing ever so slightly. "O-oh. You have a nice day then, sir."

Other people who had stayed offered the Ace a hesitant smile before scattering and leaving the scene.

Sasori frowned slightly as he flipped his collar back up. What the hell was that about?

He then heard a high-pitched voice he had grown to dislike with time. "What the _hell _are you doing, Sasori? Taking advantage of your stature to go and rape a poor girl in the living daylight, just like that-!"

"Tenten," Sasori responded irritably, glancing at the girl who had her free hand on her hips, the other carrying a bag. Her lips were turned into an ugly frown. "That is so _wrong_on so many levels that I'm not sure if I even want to try and correct you..."

"Oh yeah?" Tenten challenged, "Explain."

Sasori sighed annoyedly, "If that gets me rid of you... Come on; let's get going while we're at it." He motioned with his hand in the general direction of his house (and naturally, Tenten's as well, since they lived so close to each other), wanting nothing more than to crawl inside his home, sleep and pretend that this day had never even happened.

Tenten nodded, though not saying anything as she apparently awaited his explanation.

"Okay then..." Sasori started in a sort of low voice so that people wouldn't listen to their conversation, "For starters, that wasn't even a girl. Second thing, I wasn't trying to take advantage of him. Hell no. And third thing, why isn't anyone doing anything about what was seemingly attempted rape around here?"

"Wait, that wasn't?" Tenten asked as they started walking, "You mean that that pretty girl wasn't even a girl?"

"Yeah. I know, he's prettier than you, get over it."

Tenten glanced at him oddly for this. "You think so?"

"...no. I was just trying to get under your skin," Sasori insisted, "Besides, _a rock_ is prettier than you."

The black-haired girl rolled her eyes at this. "Well, if you weren't trying to rape her - him, then what was that about?"

"Ever heard of talking? We got into an argument and I sort of lost my temper..." Sasori explained, "He's been dodging more than one subject since we first met, and it's been bothering me. A lot."

"Well, what was this argument about?" Tenten asked him curiously, and continued at Sasori's uncertain expression, "Don't worry, I won't share it with people since you're such a great customer."

"His Card Mark," Sasori then admitted reluctantly. He wasn't sure what made him share this with this annoying girl, one he didn't even like, but maybe the fact that she had never before shared the little she had got out of him, from what Sasori had heard, at least.

Tenten frowned, "Is he a Diamond, then?" She, as well, knew about Sasori's dislike towards said suit. After all, he had voiced it aloud to her more than just once. "Or just a low-ranky?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told me."

The girl abruptly stopped walking in favor of staring at Sasori. "He _what_?"

"He. Hasn't. Told. Me," Sasori pronounced slowly for her.

"Is he a _Joker_?" Tenten exclaimed, then changing to whispering instead as people threw some strange looks their way, "Is he a.. a Joker?"

"Where the hell did you get that from?" Sasori snapped at her.

"Why else not tell you?" Tenten asked him rhetorically.

Sasori contemplated this, "Actually, I think he's a Diamond. Or low-ranked. Or maybe he just doesn't want to share... I wouldn't be surprised."

"And I think you don't want to see what's right before your eyes..." Tenten muttered.

"Whatsoever," Sasori changed the subject, "Why isn't everyone giving a shit about me 'borderline raping a poor girl'?"

Tenten shrugged, "Because you're an Ace. People would only care if you were... Let's say, a Seven or lower, and if he was a Jack, Queen, King or Ace. Catch my drift? As it is, you're _an Ace_, and even if he were to be another Ace, which is unlikely, mind you, it would be sort of allowed for you to do whatever you please with him."

The redhead spent a moment thinking this through. "So... It only counts if you're low-ranked and rape a high number?" At Tenten's confirming nod, Sasori frowned. "What kind of a law system is that?"

The black-haired Diamond chuckled bitterly at this. "You've been living a fairytale all your life, Sasori. But I think you should know... Most people aren't nearly as lucky as you are. Things that shouldn't happen to anyone... They take place every day. No one cares."

The frown staying on his lips, Sasori tried to think of something to make it better for her. "Tenten..."

"Don't," she told him sternly, "I just want you to know that... I'm not really such a bitch. Life just never really... Gave me what I would've wanted."

"Is there anything I can do?" Sasori found himself asking all of a sudden.

She smiled sort of fondly. "I wonder if you can see it... But you have changed. Say hi to that blonde of yours for me. And remember to apologize to him... He seemed like you really freaked him out, you know?"

"Sadly, I do..." Sasori muttered, grimacing, "But only if you do me a favor as well."

"Depends, depends," Tenten responded, having stopped walking, since they were pretty much fifteen steps away from her doorway, "On what you want. I already promised to get you some salt, so... Oh yeah, about that, you can drop by any time and I'll fill your container for the first time like I promised. Now, what it is that you wanted to ask of me?"

"...never refer to him as 'my blonde' again. That sounded disgusting."

When he turned around to go home, he was followed by amused, high-pitched laughter.

Even though he did promise himself that he would find Deidara, previously dubbed as 'that blonde of yours', when first given the chance to do so, Sasori found that before that, he would need a few hours of sleep at least, to clear his mind and figure out what he should say to his blonde acquiantance.

Upsettingly, as it was that when he woke up some time later (his sense of time was still that of an artist, after all; inexistent unless he had view of the sun), his mind was agreeably clearer, but he still lacked the words he wanted to say to the street artist.

He hadn't bothered to undress when he had laid down (who took their clothes off while the sun was still up, anyways?), so going outside could be done with the only effort on his part being tugging his jacket and gloves on.

After doing so, he suddenly remembered the deal he had made with Tenten concerning salt, but shrugged it off just as quickly; she wouldn't cancel her offer that easily, but he would never trust Deidara to stay in one place after witnessing his strange mood changes so very many times already.

Sasori was glad he had played enough time for the streets to empty from most of the people. For one point, he preferred them that way.

And another thing; even though the rape scene had gone widely ignored, it was still a small town where most people knew each other (Sasori didn't, but that was only because he was widely antisocial like that), and he'd rather wait for the dust to settle before drawing any more attention to himself, or Deidara, for that matter.

He almost walked to the market out of a habit before recalling that it wasn't Deidara's favorite place on earth anymore, and that he should be headed towards Sai's shop instead.

How nice...

All too soon, at least considering that Sasori still hadn't figured out what he should say to the other, he reached his destination.

"Hi," Deidara murmured to him in greeting, seeming a little reserved, to say the least. He had tied his hair back into the ponytail and changed into his usual clothes at some point, and was lazily hanging his leg from the peg he was sitting on, holding the other close to himself with one hand, the other resting on the peg for balance.

"Hello..." Sasori responded awkwardly, watching as Deidara's feet hit the ground as he got down on the redhead's level. Or closer to his level as he was, annoyingly enough, taller than the brown-eyed puppeteer.

"I'm sorry," Deidara informed him, looking away from the other, "I didn't mean to... You know, un. I just... You just... I just freaked out a little and..."

"Stop saying that," Sasori objected with a groan, knowing his turn to mutter his apologies would never come at the rate things were going now.

"No, I won't, un," Deidara replied stubbornly, "You surprised me, but still, it was wrong of me to just-"

"Shut up," Sasori snapped, stomping on the other's shoe unhappily.

Deidara squeaked, attempting to pull his foot back, to no avail of course. "What the hell are you doing, un? You could've broken my toes, just now!"

"I'm shutting you up," the redhead told him indifferently, waiting until he was certain the blonde's attention was on him before continuing, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you. I just lost my temper."

"Yeah." Deidara smiled sweetly up at him, "Your whole being practically radiates that you would lose your temper easily, un."

"Would it be too much to ask that you would stop telling me just how obvious I am to you?"

Deidara seemed to give this a thought before slowly nodding. "Actually... Yes, it would, un."

"...brat."

All of a sudden, Deidara leaned towards him, stepping next to him with his free foot to keep his balance, and pressed his lips to Sasori's cheek for the first time in a while.

"Thanks," he murmured when he drew away, "That must have been hard to say, plus you almost sound like you mean it this time, un."

Sasori pulled his foot back, nodding before grinning uncertainly to his companion. "Let's forget today ever even happened, okay?"

"Deal. Circus some other day, un?"

"Deal... Tomorrow?" he offered, almost saying 'today' before realizing that it was probably a little too late for them to do that anymore. Not to mention that 'some other day' hardly ever meant the same as 'today'.

"Eager, are we?" Deidara laughed. "Deal."

"Maybe I just want to get it done?" Sasori countered, looking at the blonde challengingly.

"And maybe you're just eager to spend some time with me, un."

"Maybe... _In your dreams_, that is."

"You're hoping I would dream about you, un?"

"I am pretty certain that you do. After all, I must be by far the most interesting person you've met to date."

Deidara shook his head happily. "Nope, you're rather easy to figure out, actually. I just so happen to somewhat enjoy conversing with you, un."

"Wow," Sasori remarked sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "No one has ever said anything so kind to me before."

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me," Deidara responded quickly, apparently choosing to play along with him

"Cruel little bitch."

Deidara pouted at being referred to as female (though Sasori suspected that with his hair, it happened often. Besides, hadn't he just taken advantage of the fact a couple of hours ago?), crossing his arms across his chest.

Sasori couldn't help leaning over and patting his head, chuckling all the while.

"...that would work better if you were taller than me," Deidara remarked, rolling his eye(s).

This caused Sasori to pull his hand back with a sneer.

"Sensitive about your height, are you, un?" the clown muttered amusedly.

"Not as bad as you are with your Card Mark."

"...you win, un."

"I always do."

"You'll have to get going if you want to get home before it's pitch black, un," murmured Deidara, nodding in the general direction where the puppeteer had come from.

Sasori glanced at the sun that had indeed already gone beyond the horizon, shrugging. "How do you know that I don't live behind the corner?"

Deidara snorted unhappily, "Do you think I'm dumb, un? You came to the market from that direction, as well. You don't live behind the corner, you live somewhere rather close to… Kurenai's, was it, un?"

"What about you?"

"What about 'what about me', un?"

"What about you getting home before it gets dark?"

"I'll live. Get going, un." With those words, Deidara turned around to apparently get his stupid-looking bag and hat.

"If you insist?"

Deidara suddenly seemed to have second thoughts, as he turned back around to Sasori, pressing a finger to his forehead. "Sweet dreams… And remember to dream about me, un~" he murmured with a chuckle.

"Why in the world would I-"

"Trust me, you will, un."

And even though it was a strange promise, Sasori reasoned that everything that had something to do with the blonde was that way, and he shouldn't be surprised by that any longer. "Whatever… _Sweet dreams_."

The last two words came out sickeningly sweet, and for the second time that day, his departure was followed by laughter.

* * *

><p>Sorry if there were any brain failures here - I've been sick since Wednesday and stuck in bed since Friday due to a fever, so that would be why...<p>

Oh and I would love a review. You know I adore those. A lot.

Love you all~ See ya next week?


	12. Forget

Did I go back and change last chapter's name? _I wonder._

Hiyaaa~

Another Sunday, eh? Well, here's your chapter. Dang, I just realized how late it is... 14 minutes to midnight. I have to wake up in 6,5 hours~ But my comp's been used for work things all week, which made all my review replies slow (thank you thank you thank you for reviewing though~ I love you), and caused my writing time to be pretty limited to... Well, the last five hours, actually. Blaming all errors on that as well...

**Words:** 2,606  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own~  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Swearing. Some... disturbing content? Probably not, but I don't know what might disturb you, so... Sorry, I got a horror game. I've been in the mood...? Okay, I suck with horror. Which is why I don't even try.

Go, read. Chapter 12; _'Forget'_.

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><p>Sasori was walking through the market, and strangely enough, it was silent as it would be in a grave (<em>not that he knew,though<em>). No people were around, none at all, and even the wind wasn't blowing any longer.

He wasn't sure why, but instead of taking the route he should've, the road that went pretty much straight from his house to Deidara's favorite place(?), he had opted with going through the market for once.

It was foggier than it should have been, though, even considering the storm that had taken place the night before. Sasori could barely see the ground five meters in front of himself, and anything beyond that was truly a lost cause.

He soon stopped walking for a moment to make sure it really was as quiet as he thought, and suddenly he could only hear his own heartbeat in his head and his ragged breaths as it suddenly felt difficult to even breath.

Quickly enough, the deafening silence was pierced by a low, loud screech. Sasori's hands instinctively moved to cover his ears as he looked up to pinpoint the source of the voice.

Of course, looking up did not help him, not with all the heavy mist around. This was immediately afterwards voiced aloud for him in a clearly amused tone.

"_Idiot_. You don't look with your eyes, not in this weather... un."

Deidara was there when Sasori turned around. He was eerily standing near the wall, looking at Sasori with a scowl.

"Deidara?" Sasori called him to be sure.

The blonde looked at him, shaking his head. "Nope. Try again, un."

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"Haven't you learned anything yet, un?" Deidara retorted, snapping his fingers. Suddenly, he had some cards in his hand, and then, with another snap, they were out of his hand and floating in the air.

"Let's play, un... Pick a card, any card, un..."

Sasori glanced at the blonde oddly, only to see that at least one card was already out of question, as the clown held one in his hand, the back of it currently showing to Sasori.

He then looked at the card closest to him. It was a Six of Diamonds, which in turn made him realize that these were playing cards. He wasn't certain about the land, but these kinds of cards were made somewhere. They were ranked just like the ones in real life; from Two to Ace, including Jokers and different suits.

Sasori's hand moved to its own accord, moving to pick some card from the mass of numbers floating around him.

He pulled the card to him, only to have Deidara's hand grab his wrist before he could see the card.

With a lopsided grin, the blonde showed him the card he had chosen before the game even began; an Ace of Clubs.

Sasori was then allowed to look at his own card, and before it even registered in his mind as anything else than 'not good', Deidara was speaking again.

"Sorry, but you got a Joker. _Game over..._ You lost, un."

The blonde-haired clown then extended his arm, and with another screech a rather large, black bird flew to him, sitting down on his arm. Deidara moved his hand to scratch its throat tenderly, and the bird _'kurr__r_'-ed in some strange sort of understanding and affection.

Deidara then looked away from Sasori unhappily, probably upon noticing the brown eyes on him, shaking his arm a little, apparently trying to rid of the bird as he changed his opinion about its current position.

The bird cawed unhappily, flying to Sasori, and in a mere heartbeat sinking its claws to the exposed skin of his neck.

"...oops."

There was a snap.

And then it all went dark.

* * *

><p>The next thing Sasori was consciously aware of was candlelight. For a fleeting moment, it was the only thing Sasori could see in the room, but then there was another snap and then Deidara was standing in front of him, holding the candle in his hand<p>

He wore clothes that made him look like he was high-ranked, a Jack at least. (_He wasn't wearing those clothes before, was he?) _He wore the kind of clothing Sasori had been offered and clothing he had declined. It included a blood red vest with puffy sleeves, black puffy pants, his usual shoes and gloves. He also wore a jester's hat, one kind of like his own but black-and-red with longer spikes, and with bells on all three of them for a change. And because of this, his hair wasn't tied to _anything_for once.

"Where are we?" Sasori asked him numbly, gently moving a hand to his neck. No blood there, to say the least. And after that... Attack, that was actually saying a lot. Had he passed out after that? How long had he been out of it?

"My home. I brought you here, un," Deidara murmured, giggling strangely.

"You don't have a home," Sasori disagreed quickly, then adding as an afterthought, "At least, that's what you told me."

"Silly. Everyone has a home, un."

"And where is everyone else?"

"I wonder." The disinterested look on the clown's face, however, made it rather clear that he was everything but wondering.

"I'm serious. This place is too empty."

"I'm serious as well. Though I suppose that traditionally, one knows their own home inside and out, un... I'm not too fond of traditions, myself."

"And what happened? With the crow? And do you know why it's so misty?"

"I can see that you've never been to Kiri, un."

"...what has that have to do with anything?" Sasori paused as his brain tried to desperately make a connection between these two things. "Have you been there, then?"

"In Kiri, it's _always_ misty. Without failure, un. And compared to that, this is nothing… Though the mist, the lack of people and the emptiness… It's certainly frightening, isn't it, un?"

"I have to sort of agree with you on that one."

"Good." Deidara grinned, "Because that's what I was aiming for, un."

"What you were-" Sasori repeated. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"I wonder…" the clown tilted his head, "Have you ever considered than just maybe, I'm trying to tell you something, un? And maybe you could make the job easier if you listened for a change? Or just shut up, un?"

Deidara then moved his foot up, pulling something from his shoe with his free hand. He soon moved the item up a little, causing the candlelight to reflect from it. It had a sharp metal part that the blonde was currently turning around, examining it, and a part Deidara was currently holding onto...

It was a small knife.

"What are you going to d-"

"I wonder," Deidara cut in, smirking slightly. "You can have three guesses, un."

"You-"

Deidara smiled sweetly and blew the candle out.

It went dark.

There was a tap, a knock, a jingle and finally, a screech.

His own.

And then, just a snap.

* * *

><p>Sasori was sort of fortunate, probably. Because when he woke up from the dream that he had just seen (probably awokened by his own screech, actually), it was already light enough outside that he could make out his bed and the puppets closest to it, enough to see that '<em>Okay, I'm awake now. Apparently I wasn't that way before, then', <em>turn to his side and fall back asleep, without dreaming this time.

In the morning, the only things Sasori remembered from his dream were blonde hair and a screech that hurt his head.

Even imagining the screech, or attempting to, as he did, made his head ache, so he focused on the other detail instead. Blonde hair could refer to the leader of Konoha, of course. That airheaded, blonde-haired young man...

But Sasori supposed that another young, airheaded blonde was probably far more likely to fit the part, with everything that had been happening lately.

Now if he could only remember what the dream had been about...

Then again, said airheaded blonde was probably already waiting for him, and Sasori hated to keep people waiting. Had it been anything important, it would most likely occur to him sooner or later.

Only about twenty minutes later (not that he knew it), Sasori had fully convinced himself of the fact and was finally, in his opinion at least, out the door and headed to the quiet corridor only brightened by a certain blonde's presence.

The trip through the alleys itself took him a smaller amount of time he had thought it would, and Sasori ended up reaching the blonde's hideout of sorts at an embarrassingly early point of time.

For once, he was the first one to voice his greeting, as well, calling the blonde by his name as soon as he was there.

This got him an amused response of "Hi, Danna," soon followed by a question of, "Did you dream about me, un? You promised you would~"

Sasori stopped to think about it for a moment, then slowly nodding. "I think I did... But I can't remember it too well."

"Your dreams usually hold a meaning to them, you know, un," Deidara informed him upon hearing this, crossing his arms over his chest. "You should always listen to them, because it can be something really important, un."

"That's nice. I would try to understand the general meaning if I remembered the dream itself..."

"I'm sure you'll remember," Deidara assured him while nodding, apparently to himself. "Hey, can we go? The circus awaits, un~"

"Right," Sasori muttered, nodding, "Where was it, again?"

"Forgetful old man," the clown accused him, sighing. "You said something along the lines of 'Neji's field', I think. And then questioned if they had the permissions they needed, un."

The red-headed puppeteer snorted. "Why should I bother to remember anything since you're doing it for me?"

"Because I won't always be here, un."

On purpose or not, Deidara managed to create a rather depressed air with those six (or seven?) words, causing them both to fall into an awkward silence only interrupted by their footsteps and the customary _'jingle jingle jingle'_ and _'knock knock knock'_ Deidara's clothes always caused whenever he moved about.

Of course, since Deidara had caused it, he was also the one to break the silence by sighing, then starting to talk. "That was probably not the best thing to say, but it's true, un."

"Not the best thing to say indeed..." Sasori agreed grimly.

"Sorry about that, un. I wasn't really thinking before speaking, I guess," Deidara apologized, looking at the ground regrettably when Sasori looked his way.

"...it's nothing. When do you think you'll be leaving?"

The blonde stray shrugged. "I don't know. When it starts snowing, if not earlier, un. Can't really survive in the cold in these…" He tugged at his sleeve on the last sentence.

"I understand," Sasori agreed quietly. "You headed to Suna, then? It's never cold around there."

"I guess, un. I've been thinking about Suna, too... But then again..."

"The civil war," they said at the same time as it crossed both their minds.

Deidara turned to look at Sasori, grinning. "Yeah. Maybe I'll think of something else, un. Kiri or Kumo or something. I'll live, un."

"I trust you'll hold on to that promise."

For this, the redhead was greeted with rolling blue eyes. "Sure, un. Have I ever lied to you?"

"Honestly?" Sasori asked him skeptically.

"...never mind..." Deidara murmured meekly.

"I thought so."

"...how much longer?" the clown soon asked, "I want to get there already, un."

Sasori stopped to point in the direction they were headed in. "See that small hill over there? Right behind that is another hill, a little smaller. Behind that is the field, and that's where your beloved circus is," he cooed almost like one would to a small child that was continuously asking his parents, _"Are we there yet?"_.

To say the least, the blonde sure seemed like he hadn't noticed how he was being made fun of. "Really, un? Let's go already, then!"

Considering that they were already back to walking, Sasori paid his none-too-polite request no mind, instead ignoring the blonde like he usually did.

"Sure, let's play _'ignore your companions'_... My favorite game, un," Deidara whined.

"Start playing it, then," Sasori sort-of snapped at him.

"Do you like when it rains?" Deidara asked him, apparently to evade playing said game.

"Not particularly. Why should I? It makes everything wet."

"Just asking, no need to get mad, un."

"I'm not mad, I'm just answering you."

"Have you ever been to Kiri?" Deidara then changed the subject happily.

"No. Why would I have?"

"I don't know, un. You're from Suna and yet you're here, un. I figured you could've gone through some other places as well," he muttered, shrugging.

Sasori nodded slowly, at least acknowledging that he had understood the blonde's strange reasoning. "Why in the world do you care?"

"Why not? I like to know things, un. Besides, it's not a crime?" The second half of his speech sounded like he was on defense, which made him raise his pitch accusingly, which in turn made it sound like a question.

"It is a crime until you are willing to respond to the questions as well."

"Fine, un. I have been to Kiri. Happy now, un?"

"There are still at least twenty questions you've never answered," Sasori accused.

"I will," Deidara promised, "I will answer them all at some point, un."

"...before or after you leave?"

And once more, they both fell silent; Deidara frowning unhappily and Sasori's face probably wearing the same sort of expression as well.

"Probably... I don't know..." the blonde finally confessed, still not looking all too glad about the change in their conversation. "But I'll tell you, un. Promise. And I'll even seal the deal with you, any way you want."

Sasori nodded slowly. "Okay... How about we just shake hands to that?"

"I suppose. Yeah, okay, if we just... Okay, un."

Looking at the blonde sort of dubiously, Sasori agreed as well and they shook hands.

"Awesome," Deidara commented to some strange detail Sasori had conveniently missed, moving to kiss the redhead on the cheek. "Thanks, un."

"For what?"

"For trusting me enough to make a deal with me... You know, un?"

Sasori frowned as he thought about that. "You mean like how one shouldn't make a deal with a demon or a Joker?"

"...yeah... Something like that. Trust me, you won't want to make a deal with either of those. Ever, un."

"Got some personal experience?" Sasori half-joked.

The question, though, made Deidara grow quieter than it should've, and Sasori was glad to drop the subject when Deidara said something to make it possible.

"What's your home like, un?"

"Where do you get these questions from...? It's a small village. Nothing interesting, really. It was sort of like this place," he motioned at their surroundings, "but even quieter. You know the type of village where nothing ever happens and a small house where everyone's always snooping around each other's business?"

Deidara laughed fondly. "Yes, I know the type, un. And before you ask... Well, my home was certainly different from yours, un. Not many people really cared... Because snooping is certainly caring, if you ask me, un."

"No one asked you."

"You would've. You know you would have asked me and then complained when I would've skillfully evaded the question, un."

"That's only one possible scenario."

"Keep on saying that and one day you might believe it, un."

What Sasori didn't know was that there were many questions to follow these few. Furthermore, it never occurred to him that they actually held a purpose that went far beyond mere curiosity.

* * *

><p>So much foreshadowing that I don't even.<p>

...yes, I'm mean. I'm making you figure out Sasori's dream because he can't remember it himself. Life is tough like that...

If there is anything to figure out...?

Either way, tell me what you've got. I'm very curious, to say the least.

Oh and if you were wondering, the thing about 'storm last night', was one of those 'dream memories', when you 'remember' something that never happened in reality. Yup.

And I would love a review. You know I would. Especially because this was a little... Different. I would love to hear what you thought...

Well, until next time, see ya~


	13. Magic

Hello, you~

Yes, this is overdue on my timezone. In Sweden etc. and UK etc. as well. I know, it's that bad. Sorry.

Thank you there for reading this right now. Really. It means so much to me. Not to mention reviewing... Seriously, every time I get one I just... *shakes head* I just smile so wide everyone around me thinks I've lost it again. You make me so happy... :D

**Warnings:** Swearing. Nothing much. Mentions of death?  
><strong>Words:<strong> 2,749  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>Surprise of the day; I don't own.

My life in two sentences; I was at a con yesterday, got a Deidara plushie, and I was holding him while typing this down. |D Also, I have this week off from school, so I'll try to plot my favorite child (aka _'Trump Card_' and write write write. Haha.

Also...

Totally a few new characters here. And Deidara converses with someone that's not Sasori. Finally. I've been dying for that to happen.

Heeere's chapter 13; _'Magic'_. Also known as the first chapter of the circus, I guess?

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><p>"I was worried we'd never make it here, un," Deidara confessed, arms crossed across his chest as he stared down at the circus from their current location.<p>

"And I was worried we wouldn't make it here while I was still clinging to my sanity," Sasori huffed in response.

Deidara rolled his eyes, which annoyed Sasori to a certain point, mostly because he considered himself the only person currently present with the right to roll his eyes at the situation, one that seemed so hopeless that it came around as something almost comical.

They had been at each other's throats for at least half an hour now; whether it was about Deidara's strange, inexistent adjectives or about Sasori's 'annoyingly unhappy attitude, un', as the blonde clown had it, they somehow managed to make a heated argument about it, no matter how trivial the starting point may have been.

But at least they were talking. Sasori had once heard about Hidan's and the money keeper's (who was his superior, in a way) silences - caused by mutual annoyance towards each other and kept up for days, even when they were working together for 17 hours a day and 7 days a week at best, and sometimes working together all day and then forced to sleep in the same house, or room if the Deity really hated them that day.

Sasori was glad they didn't have that. Even when he and Deidara were incredibly annoyed with each other, upset or plain angered, so far they had managed to talk it out with each other rather quickly.

Currently, they were on the hill close to the circus, glancing down at the colorful tent and the people swarming all around it.

It was strange, certainly. Sasori couldn't remember being to a circus before, and even seeing one from this distance was very interesting in its own way.

"What are we waiting for, un?" Deidara said then, apparently having grown tired of just staring and not actually going there.

"I don't know what you're waiting for," Sasori informed him, "But I'm waiting for you to start explaining exactly how you suppose we're going to get inside without paying."

"I have it all," he stressed the word, practically drawling it out rather proudly, "under control. Trust me, un."

"I'm really not sure about this," Sasori told him, not sure if he should really trust his companion with something like this, even though they had discussed it before. "Maybe I should just pay... I mean, it can't cost that much, can it?"

Deidara's visible eye widened and he was quick to shake his head. "No way. I'll distract the person letting people in and then you'll just walk in when I say... Umm. 'Bunny'. I'll say bunny and you'll walk in, un."

"What a fool-proof plan..." Sasori muttered sarcastically, "And how are you going to get in?"

"Have it all under control, un," Deidara repeated, starting to walk and tugging at Sasori's arm so hard that the redheaded man almost lost his balance before following the clown down the hill. "Don't panic. Unless it takes me more than ten minutes to get to you. Then you can panic, un."

They walked closer to the tent as the people started heading inside, most of them having already bought their tickets. Apparently the show would be starting soon.

Deidara was grinning when Sasori looked at him. "It's a girl. That's good, un," the blonde whispered, nodding at the ticket-seller standing before the entrance to the tent. "You stay over there," he motioned at the direction, "and remember, bunny, un."

Sasori obliged, watching Deidara advance to the girl from his hiding place behind a fold of the tent.

"Why hello," Deidara murmured to her sweetly, "How come they make such a pretty girl stuck here while there is supposed to be one heck of a show inside, un?"

The girl was a light blonde with most of her tied up in a bun and the rest, two darkened tips, framing her face. She moved her hand to awkwardly scratch her neck, where there was a rather big, black mark. Could that have been her Card Mark.?

She was wearing a complicated-looking knee-long red-and-black dress, though Sasori suspected that it was only for her job; she certainly didn't look that rich. She also had bandages on her both wrists and ankles.

She blushed lightly at the compliment, then going to reply quietly, "I'm just selling the tickets. But I can go in after that. I'll be performing, as well."

"That's nice." Deidara murmured, then blinking and moving closer to her, "Wait a minute, I think I recognize you. You're." he paused for a moment, "Pakura. A circus artist, Jack of Hearts, from Sunagakure, un?"

She seemed bewildered for a fleeting moment, her mouth slightly open, before nodding. "Yes, I am, actually." She leaned down and moved a bandage from her ankle to point at a small, red mark that was most likely her Card Mark. 'Then what was the other mark?' Sasori asked himself silently. "How did you know?"

Deidara laughed in a friendly way, watching her sell a ticket to someone before whirling her around seemingly innocently, though Sasori knew better. "I know things, bunny. I'm Deidara, un. Care to be friends with me.?"

Heading inside upon hearing his cue, the last words of the conversation he heard were Pakura's. "Oh. That certainly sounds. Familiar. Do I know you? And of course we can be friends."

He almost wished he could've stayed back to listen to their chit-chattering; if the girl really knew Deidara, it may have been interesting. He could've even learned something about the strange stray. But alas, he wasn't really willing to spoil Deidara's plan when it seemed to be going alright so far.

Inside the tent it was darker than he would've guessed; only the stage was lightened, by mirrors close to the canvas that were reflecting some sort of light source from behind the curtains.

The curtains meaning those dark red objects that split the visible stage apart from the place where the performers resided before the show.

He could barely see the rows of chairs in the pretty complete darkness, and even the 'barely' was only because they were made of light wood as opposed to the deep dark wood that you would usually see around.

The red-haired man quietly made his way to the first row of seats, promptly sitting down in a spot where there was one chair free on the left side of his own.

After this was done, he awkwardly looked around, knowing that whatever Deidara had decided to do would probably take him a few more minutes at least.

The tent wasn't really all that big on the outside; on the inside, it seemed much more spacious.

Up near the ceiling or top or whatever, there were various wires, apparently made to keep the tent from falling apart.

The stage had some kind of sand-sort of thing on it; that certainly did not look like the darkish green grass of Neji's field he had seen outside.

While he was in the middle of examining his surroundings, someone impolitely plopped down in the chair next to him.

"Hey," he started annoyedly, looking up at the person, "that's-"

Deidara, who turned out to be the person to have sat on the formerly free seat, laughed at him. "Awww, you were saving that for me, un? That's nice of you."

"As in the matter of fact I _was_," Sasori retorted, "Since I wasn't really certain if I could count on you to get here in one piece and within the ten minutes of time that you gave yourself."

"Thanks for your trust; I really appreciate it, un." Deidara bowed as much as he could without falling from his chair and while still keeping his feet crossed on it.

Sasori rolled his eyes, deciding that it was a good time to change the subject of their conversation. "How did you get inside, anyways?"

Deidara laughed again for a fleeting second, then looking at the other man skeptically. "The usual way, of course, un."

"...okay...? And what, may I ask, _is_the usual way?"

The clown sighed. "You are hopeless..."

Before Sasori could retort, he saw that the Deity was on Deidara's side on this one; a slim, pale black-haired man dressed in black and grey walked to the stage, managing to quiet all conversation as the air around them grew from impatient to anticipating.

"Hello, all of you," he greeted the in a loud voice, his 's' hissing slightly. "I am very pleasantly surprised to see how many people made it here today. As some of you may know, there have been several... Unfortunate events lately, causing us to lose some of our best performers. We changed the name of our beloved circus to avoid you connecting us to these afore-mentioned, very unfortunate events, yet they are no secret.

Though I am more than happy to inform you that these events will in no way affect our show tonight; we have some spectacular talents and some new faces that you will remember for the rest of your lives! I am Orochimaru, yours truly, and the ringleader of this circus, and this is the Konoha Circus!"

The raise of his volume caused many people to start cheering and clapping, and Sasori politely joined in.

From the corner of his eye he saw that Deidara wasn't quite so enthusiastic; he was scowling, arms crossed across his chest as he down-right glared at the man on the stage.

As soon as the applaud stopped, Orochimaru cleared his throat, continuing to speak yet again. "Our first performer is one some of you may have heard of already, some of you may even have heard of her before. She's a talented musician, but what's more important, she's an incredibly talented magician! Here's Tayuya!"

The man left the stage, giving space for a young, probably around 16-year old girl. She had long hair, its color somewhere between pink and red. Her choice of dress was something like what the girl outside wore; a dark purple dress that was of knee-length. She was holding a light colored flute as she glanced up at the awaiting audience, giving them a nervous smile before raising the flute to his lips.

She started playing a soft melody that filled the air. Sasori had to rub his eyes when strange, monster-like creatures appeared on the stage. They were moving along to the rhythm, one of them getting uncomfortably close to where Deidara and Sasori sat. It was close enough for Deidara to reach out his arm and touch it, which he did before Sasori could tell him not to.

But unlike Sasori would have thought, the monster did not bite the blonde's fingers off; it was almost like it wasn't even there and the fingers just went… through it.

The girl's melody faltered momentarily, probably having noticed Deidara's stupid stunt. This caused the creature's form to falter with it. Sasori looked up at her, and Deidara merely pulled his arm back, looking away unhappily.

"Illusion," he murmured quietly, "She's a magician who controls these illusions with her flute, un."

Sasori 'hmp'ed, fully unconvinced by this explanation. He had never believed in magic. It didn't matter to him what other people thought about it; to him, it was a stupid idea, full of pathetic tricks and nothing else.

What annoyed him was that magicians were mostly Clubs and so, it was considered a form of art.

To put it simply, _'magic'_was not eternal. Therefore, it was not art, either. And that resulted in Sasori despising the whole concept, not believing it in the slightest and that lead to the result that he was not a magician.

The last point being that because when people believed in magic, they could _supposedly_use it as their own.

"You don't believe in magic, do you, un?" Deidara observed in a hushed whisper, so that he wouldn't interrupt the music that was once again flowing fluently or the people who were concentrating on the show being performed for them.

"Not in the slightest."

"Because it's not eternal?"

Sasori gave that a moment's thought before nodding slowly. Magic not being eternal was probably the most important reason as to why he didn't believe in it. "Something like that," he agreed.

"That's a pity, I guess. I mean, you're an Ace of Clubs. Were you to believe in magic, you could probably do anything you wished with it, un."

"Point being that I don't believe and don't wish to believe."

Deidara sighed. "Do suit yourself, then. To each their own and whatnot, un."

They both observed the show and the creatures moving about for a while before Sasori picked the conversation up from where they had left it. "Do you believe in magic?"

"I wonder, un."

"Is that another question which you prefer to answer at some other point in time?"

Deidara didn't hesitate a second when voicing his answer. "Now that you ask, yes it is, un."

"Do suit yourself..."

"I am doing it."

Orochimaru walked back to the stage then. "For the next trick, we need a volunteer from the audience. Is there anyone who would like to volunteer?" Couldn't Tayuya - was that her name? - really speak for herself, for a few sentences at least?

A few hands rose, and Orochimaru picked a, older, rather fat man, motioning for him to come to the stage for the trick.

The man did what he was asked, and Orochimaru asked for his name, which was 'Chōza'.

"That's a nice name," Orochimaru commented offhandedly, "Now sweet Tayuya here will place you under a trance. You will believe you're a..."

"A butterfly," Tayuya supplied emotionlessly, earning a fleeting, angered glare from Orochimaru.

"Yes, a butterfly," he then said, back to his kind ringleader's image, "And when the melody stops playing, you will return to your senses."

Tayuya moved closer to the man and poked his forehead before starting to play. She changed the melody from the one she had been playing before, going with a faster, more impatient tone instead.

It certainly seemed to work, that much Sasori had to admit. The man's eyes went sort of blank and he tried to fly with his chubby arms, moving around the stage as he flapped them about impatiently.

He stopped running for a moment, only to make a sort-of-disgusting, sucking noise as if he was trying to feed from a flower. Sasori heard Deidara chuckle at his.

"What's so funny?" he sort of demanded the blonde.

"The look on your face," Deidara promptly let him know, "You look like someone just ate a spider in front of you, un."

"I can imagine being disgusted by that, I suppose." Sasori shrugged, "But I was actually thinking about that. noise. You know."

"It wasn't that bad." Deidara responded in a little quieter voice. "You know, I've seen and heard worse before, un."

"…I suppose I don't even want to know."

"I'm rather certain you don't, un," Deidara responded, accompanied by a discreet nod.

They were quiet for another while; the melody had just stopped, and the man was back to being himself, wearing a dumb _'what just happened?'_-sort of expression on his face.

After a quick explanation, a plead for applauds, and then a moment when people did what they were asked, Tayuya bowed and started preparing the stage for the next act alongside Orochimaru and some staff.

"Don't worry, my friends," the ringleader then announced, "Sweet Tayuya will be back before you know it."

There were more cheers, but Sasori couldn't help thinking they were probably more for the girl than the older man.

"Hey, Danna." Deidara drawled curiously in the awaiting silence.

"Hey, brat?"

"Have you ever had a friend, un?" Deidara asked. It was like it made some connection to what was currently happening to him, judging by the look on his face at least, but it sure as hell didn't to Sasori.

"Before? I suppose I've had an acquaintance that could be considered as such..." Sasori muttered, referring to Hidan, as he wasn't certain if the blonde was asking if they were friends or what the question sounded like, if he had had a friend in the past. "Yourself?"

"Yeah,"' Deidara smiled fondly, looking back at the stage, back at Tayuya, more precisely. "But she's dead now, un."

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><p>Wooo, that's finished now. Hope you enjoyed... and the plot thickens, yes...<p>

Funny story; when I asked mum (I talk to her about this a lot; she likes hearing about things that are important to me) how Deidara should get in a few weeks back, she said, "The usual way, of course."

If Pakura doesn't sound familiar to you, gugurekasu. She's a deceased Sungakure shinobi. *nods* I don't do OCs unless I absolutely have to...

Either way, review or something. You know I love it~

See you next week... Oh and about that, I'll be at my friend's house for the weekend, so the update may show up a little late. But I'll update. I promise. :3


	14. Know

Hi! *waves*

My life in two sentences: I got home from my friend's house four hours ago, that's when I pretty much started writing this, and I had an awesome week of no school. Also, I realized how amazing friends I have, and I never wish to stop smiling about it, haha.

And I still adore all of you. Really, if I wasn't Christian, I could make a shrine and worship you guys there, that awesome you are... I still could. Because I love you. Yup. And thank you thank you thank you.

**Words:** 2,080 (well, at least I made it today! Be glad~)  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own. :3  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>None...?

Sorry for any irrationalities here; I had planned for this to go a bit differently at first. Don't be afraid to point them out, okay?

I wish you knew how much time I spend just trying to pick the right Naruto characters for the job. It's a ton of work at times... :)

Ahaha, I don't know where that came from... Anyways, go ahead. Chapter 14, titled as _'Know'_.

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><p>After Orochimaru and Tayuya (mostly the latter, as Orochimaru was busying himself with amusing the audience) had just managed to get started with cleaning the stage, a small, black haired boy ran there, grinning happily.<p>

He was wearing a dark clown's outfit that was far too big for his body, appearing to have belonged to someone just a little taller than him in the past. Sure enough, the kid made the dark clothes look a little merry when he was grinning widely like that.

"Konohamaru," Orochimaru sighed, shaking his head. "No. You can't just come to the stage when we're in the middle of a show here."

"But I wanted to!" the kid cried unhappily, pouting slightly, apparently because he just wasn't used to being told off like that.

Here Orochimaru turned to talk to the curious audience. "Konohamaru's grandfather was the late ringleader," he said in sad tone before abruptly changing the subject, "But isn't he a cute little boy?" He even ruffled the boy's hair for added effect on the second sentence.

Konohamaru pouted. "I am not that small!" he cried, "Besides, I can do a lot of things!" After announcing this, he ran away from Orochimaru, closer to Sasori and Deidara rather than the snake-like man, doing half a cartwheel and landing ungracefully on his back with a loud cry.

Tayuya stopped setting things about, walked up to Konohamaru and stared at him emotionlessly for a moment. Then she burst into laughter all of a sudden. "You're such a _moron_. And a klutz, at that. Why in the world did we keep you and not…" She bit into her lip, shooting a glare in Konohamaru's direction, acting like whatever she was going to say at first was a taboo of some sort.

Sasori couldn't really pinpoint the reason for this, not that anyone probably minded; he and Deidara were probably some of the only people who had heard the conversation, as they were on the row of seats closest to the young girl and little boy.

Konohamaru bit his lip, seeming like he would cry any moment now. "But I didn't do anything…."

"Now now," Orochimaru muttered darkly as he walked up to the two of them, "Quiet, you two. We both know that-" his voice lowered so that Sasori couldn't hear him anymore, and soon enough, Tayuya was back to staring blankly and nodding emotionlessly in response to the snake-like man's words.

When Sasori looked over at Deidara, he spotted the blonde... Was he smiling?

"What's got you so happy?" he asked the young male sitting next to him. It wasn't like Sasori wasn't happy that the clown was happy, and he sure as hell wasn't jealous that something could make him smile so fondly, he was just... Curious, that's all.

Deidara turned to him and laughed. "Nothing... I just like little kids, that's all. They can be so funny and innocent at times, un."

"Think I know someone who fits the description..." Sasori gave his companion a meaningful glance to make sure that the mockery wouldn't go unnoticed.

Blue eyes rolled as Deidara 'awww'ed quietly. "You like me? I'll let you know when I decide if it's mutual, un."

Sasori sighed; sometimes arguing with the blonde really felt like he was talking to a stubborn little child; one that turned his words around out of merely wanting the last word instead of wanting to prove his point. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Do I? Are you sure I'm not too dumb for that, un?" Deidara asked with a somewhat serious look in his eyes.

Before Sasori could reply, probably with something along the lines of how the blonde had his incredibly smart moments that made Sasori doubt his lack of intelligence, Orochimaru introduced the next artist.

"So give it up for the talented, the fabulous, the brilliant Zabuza and his partner, Haku!" were his exact words, or the ones that Sasori managed to catch, either way.

'Zabuza' was a young, tall and muscular adult man, probably in his mid twenties, while 'Haku' appeared much younger, and could've been fifteen or so. They both had show-off-like clothes, though the fact shouldn't have surprised Sasori anymore, not after seeing the weird clothes Orochimaru, Pakura, Tayuya and even Konohamaru wore, not when he was sitting next to a fucking _clown_.

Haku looked like a girl, for sure, and her choice of dress was a long, not too tight-fitting, light-colored skirt of sorts, but there was just something about her that made Sasori doubt the sort-of-obvious fact that was her gender. Besides, Deidara looked like a female as well (Well, on first glance he did. Now that Sasori knew him, he could barely believe to have assumed something such as that at some point of time), but he hadn't been one. Haku could be the same way, for all Sasori knew.

She had long, black hair and eyes that seemed to be some dark color. There was also bandage on her cheek, one that she touched with her hand a couple of times as she walked on the stage.

Zabuza, on his part, wore an irritated expression of sorts as he walked into the middle of the stage, continuously turning to Haku and conversing with her in a low voice, to which the latter nodded, nodded again and then shook her head, replying in an equally quiet, if not quieter voice.

"We're going to give you all one heck of a show!" Zabuza then suddenly announced for anyone who had been waiting for them to actually begin their act, earning cheers and applauds from all around the room.

Sasori, on his part, privately wondered what their number could be. The props currently on the stage were a round, big object that Tayuya had brought there before and sticks Sasori couldn't really identify, along with a big ring and small boxes, more smaller rings and such things. Could a good show (correction, 'one heck of a show') really be scrapped together using items that were so different from each other?

Haku nodded again at Zabuza's announcement, this time directing her smile at the audience instead of her partner. "I promise that to all of you as well."

She then walked to a box, opening it and taking several small items that reflected the half-dim light (_why did that sound so familiar?_) on the stage out of it.

Knives.

After handing the items to Zabuza, Haku walked to the round thing, grabbing into the handles attached to it, and called out a 'Hai!', apparently a sign for Zabuza that she was ready.

"This is so cool," Deidara commented in an excited, hushed whisper.

Zabuza threw a knife at Haku, which went a few centimeters to the left from her side. Then another one, hitting in between her right arm, which was raised in order to grab into the handle, and her head. Then he threw one, two, three, four, five, six more at her, all of them going close to her body but still not hitting her frail frame or even her clothes.

After he had thrown ten knives total at her and stopped for a moment, some people in the audience let out a breath of relief that they hadn't probably even know they were holding, and Haku merely grinned, hopping down from the wheel (or round thing), tugging three knives off of it and walking back to Zabuza with them in her hands.

The girl then brought a blindfold from her pocket, tying it securely on Zabuza's face, then taking another one and staring at it for a moment. "Actually..." she then murmured, earning a groan from the man, "Can I get a volunteer from the audience? Someone just come here."

Someone did listen to her request; a young girl with dark, shoulder-long hair walked to the stage. Was it just Sasori imagining things, or did she seem familiar...?

"Y-yes?" she asked Haku shyly.

Haku took the blindfold from Zabuza, tying it on the volunteer's face instead. "Can you see anything?" she then asked the other girl gently.

"N-no. Not a th-thing. Am I supposed to...? Be-because-"

Haku laughed softly at this, "No, you aren't, don't worry about that. I'm just making sure everyone knows that Zabuza can't see anything, either."

"O-oh, okay..."

She was then dismissed, and Haku put the blindfold back on Zabuza's face.

They couldn't be serious about this; that could not work. Wasn't Zabuza worried about hurting his partner in the slightest? Sasori could never pull that off, not so confidently, not so calmly. Who would he be slicing, anyways? Deidara?

No way.

Haku went back to the wheel, calling out Zabuza's name, and then telling him that the next time she wanted to be the one throwing the knives and not him, earning a few nervous chuckles from the awaiting audience. She then asked them to be quiet, because she wanted Zabuza to be able to fully concentrate on this.

For the last thing she said, it was a calm 'I trust you.'

Rather needless to say, everyone went quiet as Zabuza rose his hand from his side to throw the first knife at her. One could easily see the few seconds' hesitation in his movements as he thought it all through one more time; _What if he failed?_

As soon as it had started, his moment of doubt was over and the knife was out of his hand.

The knife flew through the air rather fast, ending up in a spot that was less than two centimeters above her head. Haku didn't even flinch from this, but that was probably only a good thing; who knew what could've happened, had she moved a little bit?

Zabuza apparently took the dull 'thonk' of his knife hitting wood and the awaiting silence as a sign that _yes, his partner hadn't been hurt, and yes, he could throw another knife_.

So he did. This one faltered a little in the air, but ended up on the right of her face regardless, not hitting her this time, either.

The last knife was thrown soon after, with more power clearly put into it than the two previous ones, as the sound of it hitting on the left side on her face was much louder to say the least.

Haku smiled, seeming proud of her partner as she walked up to said partner, taking the blindfold off and tiptoeing to kiss his cheek.

Zabuza, as it was, pushed her away quite quickly, but Sasori could almost swear he had heard an 'awww' from somewhere in the audience.

"They are so in love, un," Deidara decided in a dreamy murmur just as the crowd burst into loud applauds.

"Hopeless romantic…" Sasori muttered irritably in response, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but are you sure that they aren't both men?"

"Nope," Deidara replied without a moment's doubt, "I'm not. But what does it matter, anyways? It's still nice that they have each other, un."

"In your world, maybe. In mine, it's sick. If anyone found out, they'd be as good as dead in no time, I bet," he almost hissed. Sasori wasn't even sure why the idea bothered him so much, but it did, and that was the only thing that really mattered at the moment.

The clown shrugged, his happy mood seeming to be dampening a little by Sasori's remark. "Hey, the circus is always a family. They take in any kinds of freaks, un. Besides, did you ever consider that maybe that's the exact reason why Haku is so feminine? Because they want to be together, un?"

Once again before he could reply (even though he wasn't even sure what he would've said to that), Sasori's attention was drawn back to the stage when Zabuza managed to stop the applauds with a dismissing wave of his hand. "Hey, it's not over yet! We still have a couple of things that you won't want to miss in store for you!"

There was a few seconds' worth of silence as the thought sunk in the eager audience's minds, and Sasori could imagine what they were all thinking;_ 'There will be more? That wasn't all they have?'_

Zabuza glanced at their audience, mocking surprise. "You didn't think there would be more to come, did you? Oh, and to think that we were just warming up a little here..."

It seemed like it really would be one heck of a show.

* * *

><p>It's just the beginning, isn't it...?<p>

What's up with all these cliffhangers? /shot

Really, I was doubtful for a moment if I would manage to get this all written. I'm glad I could, you deserve it and everything else.

Reviews always make my day. Every single one. So...?

See you next weekend, right~?


	15. Observe

Hi~!

Eleven minutes to midnight, whee~

Either way, hi.

Thanks to you all for reviewing, reading, favoriting, alerting, anything really~ You're my rays of sunshine and honestly the reason why I'm still here~ :D *glomp*

Oh and special thanks to _Taeryfai_for figuring out that Deidara could explain Sasori the bandage on Haku's cheek~ :)

My life in two sentences: It's been a test week (I have another next week), so my writing time has been illegally (is that a word?) limited. That's also why I couldn't make time to check for any thought mistakes (Did Sasori and Deidara discuss Sasori's name already? Was Tayuya's dress really purple?) and I need to sleep now so I'll fix any of those when I'm awake again.

**Words:** 2,280  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Nah. Knives.

Here's chapter 15, that's named like every other chapter could be; _'Observe'_.

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><p>Soon after Zabuza's words, Haku walked back to the wheel, pulling the knives away one by one and throwing them to Zabuza, who caught them from the air with a certainty that could only be attained with hours after hours of seemingly endless practice.<p>

"They work together really well, un," Deidara remarked, "But I guess I understand Zabuza's worry about his partner... Besides, throwing knives at someone so important to you must be nerve-wracking, un."

"...you lost me there," Sasori reluctantly admitted, having only properly understood the first sentence and part of the second one.

Deidara sighed. "Zabuza is worried about him. You can see that, right, un?"

Sasori nodded slowly. "So you admit that Haku is a guy?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yes, but that's beside the point, un… And Zabuza has hurt Haku before. See that, un?"

The redhead out of them tilted his head slightly, not really seeing it, but not wanting to admit the fact, either.

"...for a smart guy, you really can't read people for your life, un."

"I am not that hopeless."

"Yes you are, un. Haku's cheek has a bandage on it, and that's most likely because they've had an accident while practicing or performing their act. Zabuza seems like he really didn't even want to perform anymore, but Haku wants to convince him that it's alright, un."

"Oh." Of course, he had _seen_ the bandage, he had _seen_ Zabuza still try to cancel the whole thing at last moment, he had _seen_ Haku brush it off as nothing, he had _heard _Haku say how he trusted his partner.

Then why couldn't he have come up with that simple thought chain before Deidara had voiced it aloud for him?

"You don't read people for granted," Deidara informed him then, "You learn to do it, un."

"Shut up," Sasori hissed at him annoyedly.

"Sorry, but it's true..."

While they had been bickering (conversing), Haku had thrown all the knives to his partner, gone back to the wheel and kicked his shoes off. Sasori watched somewhat interestedly as Haku then grabbed the handles of the wheel, slipping his feet through some kind of handles as well.

Tayuya then walked to the stage, wearing the same violet outfit and the same emotionless look on her face. She waited for a while, until Haku nodded as a response to some unspoken question and spun the wheel, letting it spin in a sort of slowish speed.

She stepped aside as the audience took a collective breath and Zabuza threw a knife.

After a second that could have as well been eternity, the blade hit the wheel with a dull metal hitting wood-sound, very close to where Haku's wrist was being held in place.

A moment passed as Zabuza looked at his knife, seeming content to find that his partner hadn't been hurt, and then the second knife flew.

Sasori thought he saw Haku's eyes widen a fraction, but then again, he may have been merely trying to read people too much after the conversation that just took place.

Regardless, the second knife flew next to the wrist from before, but on the other side of it, making Sasori wonder if Zabuza could have actually aimed to do that.

Another moment was spent as the taller male made sure that his partner was still safe, sound and most importantly, in one piece.

After this, Zabuza stopped for a moment and Tayuya gave Haku some more speed, causing the colors of the younger male (if Deidara was right about Haku, anyways) to blur slightly.

No wonder the wheel was made of dark wood...

Zabuza didn't hesitate to throw another knife, which was probably sort of good, since he had been hesitating a lot more than what had to be considered professional already.

The knife hit a spot just next to Haku's cheek (the bandaged one, too), and Zabuza didn't seem too happy with the fact.

He still threw a knife without really stopping to wonder about this, and then another one pretty much right after, these two hitting pretty far from his partner's slim frame.

Tayuya stopped the wheel and Haku stepped down from the wheel, shaking his head lightly in apparent effort to stop it from spinning. He walked up to Zabuza, who met him halfway, and tip-toed as if to whisper a secret in his ear.

"No," Zabuza sneered at his partner, stepping back as if he had just been struck. Hard. On the face. _With a knife._

To the audience, he grinned hastily, "Our part was here, hope you enjoyed it!" and proceeded to literally drag Haku from the stage (without waiting for the huge applaud that followed them), leaving Tayuya alone with the cleaning up-part yet again, at least until Orochimaru got on stage, not that he helped much either way.

"That was... A little unexpected, certainly. But either way, for our next number, we actually have a visiting act for all of you; a local dog trainer! So I want you all to give a warm welcome to Tsume!

The audience was quick to comply, and apparently upon hearing it, six dogs ran to the stage, four of them really big and almost frightening in their size, one the size of a normal dog and one, even though Sasori really didn't know much about animals, seemed like a mere puppy as it teetered behind the others.

The dogs were followed by their trainer, a spiky-haired woman, who was quick to start commanding them around, getting one of them to sit down on one of the boxes laying around and the others to gather around it.

The smallest dog, however, merely tilted its head in confusion as it looked at its companions, and then happily walking off somewhere without a care in the world.

"_Akamaru!_" Tsume scolded the dog in a loud, unhappy voice that made the dog _'oof' _in a manner that seemed to Sasori like it was trying to say '_I'm sorry I exist I didn't mean to do that so sorry…'_. But then again, Sasori couldn't really find it in himself to blame it; the woman seemed nothing short of a pro, which meant that she knew what it took the get her dogs to do just what he wanted from them. And that meant that she could probably be very frightening when she wanted to be.

'Akamaru', which had to be the dog's name (unless it was some secret dog-command of sorts, but why use such a long command, anyways?), obediently took its spot in the circle surrounding the biggest dog that almost resembled a wolf.

The biggest dog then barked, apparently from some secret sign Sasori hadn't noticed, and then the first dog did so as well, all the dogs following its example once it was their turn.

The dog trainer then murmured something like 'Pakkyoun', and the normal-sized (most normal of the six, anyways) left the circle, following its trainer's commands to sit down, roll over, play dead, the usual. When it was commanded to play dead, however, one of the other dogs walked to it, holding a white flower between its teeth. It tenderly placed the flower on its companion, earning a lot of stray laughter from the audience.

Sasori merely rolled his eyes, for he was rarely amused when people specifically attempted to do something 'funny'. Call it cruel or whatever, but it was much more amusing when something just happened to go wrong and you were to witness it.

He sort of expected the blonde beside him to be practically howling with laughter up at this point, but of course, you should never _expect_anything when it came to Deidara, because just assuming something was bound to summon some karma and make him do the exact opposite.

Like right now, for an example; since Sasori had _assumed _that he would be beyond amused by the dogs fooling around, in reality he was merely sitting there, his arms and feet both crossed so that if Sasori moved his foot _just a little_, their feet would have to brush against each other.

"Not amused?" Sasori asked him, figuring that even if he wasn't observing _every single second _of the dog-show, he could live with that.

"I like animals," Deidara answered so offhandedly that Sasori wondered if it was meant to be an answer at all or if he was merely talking aloud.

"Any animals?" Sasori asked, already having opted to ask him 'what's that supposed to mean?', but decided against it, because in reality, it would most likely provide him no more information than what he already had.

"Any, un," Deidara agreed, "But I suppose…" he tilted his head in thought for a moment, "I would suppose birds are my favorite, were I to name one, un."

"I like-"

"Scorpions," Deidara ended the thought for him.

"No, I don't," Sasori hissed just to seem like Deidara had been wrong for once.

Deidara glanced at him curiously, leaning a little closer to see his eyes in the darkness, actually causing his knee to brush against Sasori's outer thigh as well. "Really, un?"

Sasori pulled back a little without even meaning to do so. "Where did you come up with scorpions, anyways?" he asked him to avoid answering the question before he understood the blonde's reasoning for it.

"They're little and deadly, un!" Deidara declared, seeming incredibly content with his reasoning. "Just like you~"

"…I hope that wasn't really the reason," Sasori said, hoping to seem annoyed enough to get the blonde to tell him the _real _method he had used to discover his favorite animal (unless that really _was_the method in question, of course…)

Deidara laughed quietly, which probably meant that Sasori hadn't been as threatening as he had hoped to be. "No, it wasn't. But I won't tell you why I thought of it until you tell me if it was right, un."

Reluctantly, the Ace of Clubs admitted that _yes_, he actually preferred scorpions over any other animals, to which Deidara laughed again.

"I don't understand why it should've been hard to figure out, un," he remarked, "I figured that if you're named 'Scorpion', you shouldn't hate them _too much_, either way."

Before Sasori could even ask him to repeat that, the blonde had already picked up some sign that meant that he had lost Sasori somewhere along his thought chain. _Again._

"...you do know that 'Sasori' means 'Scorpion', right? It's from the same dead language where I picked Danna from, un."

"I've never bothered with any languages, let alone dead ones. Why do you even know something as trivial as that?"

"Why not? Knowledge is power, un," the blonde defended himself quickly.

"Of course it is, but... You're not even educated; you told me so. Then why would you know something like that?" Sasori should've stopped to consider his words, for even a moment, before saying them. Then maybe that way he wouldn't have said anything that could be taken so wrong.

"The fact that I wasn't blessed with a chance to be educated doesn't mean that I have to be _dumb_." Deidara's tone made it seem that he had managed to take that careless remark very personally. Why did he always have to become sensitive at the worst times?

"I didn't mean it that way, I was merely asking out of..." Sasori trailed off when he realized that Deidara had drawn back from the distance he had moved to make conversing in a low volume that much easier, pointedly drawing his knees to his body, his arms wrapped around them. He would be practically radiating _'I'm hurt and it's your fault'_-aura, if such thing even existed in the first place.

Sasori sighed, turning his attention back to a dog jumping through a flaming ring. Just great; once again he had carelessly said something that wasn't even _meant_ to hurt anyone (because most of the times when he hurt someone, it was fully intended and gave him some strange, content feeling), and managed to hurt that sad little clown with it.

Maybe the blonde just needed a while to understand that Sasori hadn't realized what a sore spot his lack of education was to him. He had never before voiced it aloud, so how was Sasori supposed to know?

He'd snap out of it soon, Sasori knew he would. He wasn't too fond of merely sitting there while the blonde sorted it out by himself, but it wasn't really his place to do anything about Deidara's unhappy moment.

Apparently the whole group of dogs had jumped through the flaming ring by now, as they were now proudly standing there next to their trainer as the audience cheered for them.

Sasori supposed that he should have just watched the number after all; that way he would know what part about it was good enough to earn such cheers from the audience, and to top that, he wouldn't have hurt Deidara with what he had carelessly let escape from his mouth.

He glanced at the blonde so quickly that no one could tell he was even looking his direction in the first place, merely to check that _yes_, he was still in the same position, head resting on his raised knees, supported by his arms.

Sasori would have to learn to properly apologize sometime. For now, all he could really do was say 'sorry' in his mind a couple of times and wish that _now_would be one of those way-too common times when the clown could tell what he was thinking about before he was even aware of having thought about it in the first place.

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><p>That's that. Now I'll sleep, hooray. Ahahaha...<br>Hey, if you happened to have a moment to spare, I would be delighted by a review. Really. They always make my day, even if it wasn't all good. :3

Anyways, see you next week~?


	16. Sorry

Hiya~!

Notice how I'm on time? Isn't that fancy?

In case you haven't looked at the number of reviews up there for a while... Do it! ^

...yeah, I know. Magical. A hundred reviews, seriously... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. So much thank you I don't even x infinite~ :D

Seriously. I could just glomp you all... *airglomp* I love you~ If I can ever do anything for you... ('mworkingoniiiit) Just say the word, really~

Oh and this celebration chapter's 3,501 words (a few more because I added something after writing the A/N, actually). Because I just assumed that you guys wouldn't mind a longer chapter to celebrate with. :)

_If time goes by, just hit rewind, let's CELE-B-R-A-T-E~!_(an awesome song, you neeeed to know it if you don't already~)

And _I might change my pen name_ soon because of reasons. Just a heads-up. :)

My life in two sentences: Mmm, my jaw hurts like a bitch when I try to open my mouth too much (and it doesn't even open too much when I do), but fixing it would take quite a few dentist visits and a few hundred (along with a plastic thing that should be used at night), so I'm just praying it'll pass on its own, haha... We'll get out report cards for this course soon, and only one more test and I'll be free from tests for a while, hooray~

**Words:** 3,501 (because it's a celebration, that's why~)  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Mmmm, yeah... Swearing.

Go ahead, go ahead, chapter 16, _'Sorry'_. Dang, 100 reviews and no one has guessed just _how_ I name these. Derp.

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><p>It's probably rather useless to even point out, but Sasori ended up missing the rest of the dog-number rather professionally. Even when he was sparing the stage a lazy glance, he couldn't concentrate on whatever it was that he was seeing, because he was too busy wondering and thinking and <em>worrying<em> about the normally so eccentric blonde who was now sitting next to him rather gloomily, his head rested on his knees and his face shadowed by his fringe, concealing the expression in his unseeing eyes from Sasori's wandering gaze that seemed to find him more often than not.

A few times, he almost managed to choke out a quiet, annoyed, cruel 'sorry', but those few times his pride always managed to get in the way, had his head not already decided against the idea before his pride even had the chance to activate itself.

How did people make it seem so easy? Five letters (two less than in 'Deidara', and Sasori had never had trouble with saying that. He only used 'brat' because he wanted to remind them both that he was _superior_ to the blonde) and two syllables (one less than in 'Deidara', again). Some people even said it with more words, like 'Oh Deity, I am so very sorry this had to happen to you!' Then why couldn't he get it said, now that he actually wanted to do so for once?

Regardless of the 'why', he couldn't bring himself to do it, which left his companion in the state where he currently was... Not depressed, per se, but unhappy regardless.

What Sasori managed to gather from the dog act was that the dogs had been pretty talented, almost intelligent. They had jumped through flaming rings and count (though Sasori had no idea how that was possible to begin with), to name a few.

After the act was finished, the dog trainer (...Tsu...Tsuna? Tsime?) and Tayuya cleaned the stage of everything, so that there was nothing left there except for the awaiting people sitting in their seats. The lighting then dimmed, Sasori's best bet being that someone had tilted the mirrors to direct some of the light elsewhere, and it got almost eerily quiet in the anticipating audience.

Some time passed, half a minute at tops, and then a young boy teetered to the stage.

He had to be a few years older than Konohamaru (was that his name?), but he was still younger than Sasori, Deidara or even Tayuya or Pakura. He wore white puffy pants that ended around his knees, a dark blue shirt and black shoes that were somewhat like Deidara's, only bigger and without the wooden rings or overly sharp corners.

His eyes and part of his cheeks and forehead had black diamonds drawn over them, and if Sasori squinted and tilted his head, he could spot a red mark on the boy's leg.

His face, slightly shadowed by his brown hair, had a grin on it, but it looked hollow. Empty. Like a _clown's smile_.

After graciously sliding to the middle of the stage, and definitely taking his time at that, knowing everyone had their eyes on him right now, the boy did a couple of tricks Sasori had seen Deidara perform before. Maybe those were some kind of usual clown-tricks or something, Sasori wouldn't know, but he soon found himself thinking, 'Deidara could've done that better' and 'Why the hell can't this moron do a cartwheel like him? That actually looks like art of some sort...'

The direction his thought had taken did not please him in the slightest, and Sasori opted with staring at the stage without following the clown's movements anymore, without actually _seeing_ any longer.

Soon enough he realized that the clown had left the stage already, without so much of a nod or a moment of waiting to see if he were to get any applauds, which followed after him when people realized that he had _left_ and that his part of the show was apparently _over_now.

Orochimaru stepped on the stage shortly after the boy (teenager, young man, whatever one wishes to count him as) had left, but he didn't grace his presence with so much of a mention, either, instead introducing the next act by saying, "The show is nearing its end, but we still have a few tricks up our sleeves for you... For our next act, we have something I promised you all before. Do you remember who she might be?"

The loud applaud that followed his words made Sasori rather sure that _yes_, people still remembered her for sure. He joined in lazily as he noticed that even Deidara had snapped out of his daze for a moment long enough to bring his hands up and clap as well.

Of course, the girl ended up being Tayuya, again equipped with her dear flute and accompanied by Pakura, the latter trailing behind her rather meekly. Maybe she was shy or something? She had certainly given Sasori that first impression before.

Were circus artists allowed to be shy, though? Shouldn't they be all confident (like Zabuza, to name one) or at least quiet with a short of determined air surrounding them, like Tayuya had been... Considering that one were to forget the short scene that occurred when Konohamaru fell over and the girl started laughing and mocking him.

Pakura walked away again (as to why she would do that, Sasori had no idea) after bowing respectfully, and Tayuya started playing another endeavoring melody with her flute. It was slow, pure and not even too high, which almost surprised Sasori, considering how it was a _flute_.

Before Pakura had the chance to return, a flock of birds flew from backstage. White birds, actually... And Sasori wouldn't be surprised at all if they turned out to be pigeons.

They circled in the air and Sasori could feel Deidara's leg brush against his again as the blonde sat up straighter. Oh, right. Deidara liked birds, didn't he? They had talked about it just a little while ago, so Sasori hadn't forgotten the minor fact just yet.

Sure enough, when Sasori glanced at him, his eyes were light up in apparent delight and amazement. He really looked happy.

The pigeons flew over the audience, flying in seemingly random directions, but when Sasori observed them for a while, he understood that the music held some key tones, ones that each of the birds took differently, most likely because they were all taught a different thing or movement or whatever to do with each note.

Ever so subtly, almost likely he was a part of the act himself, Deidara whistled none-too loudly, raising his hand slightly. The nearest bird flew to him, landing on his arm. He petted its feathers fondly before sort of throwing it away, giving it the needed air under its wings to help it fly again.

When he looked around, Sasori noticed some people in the audience trying to mimic what Deidara had just done, without any of them succeeding in it.

Privately, he wondered why Deidara was so fond of messing up with Tayuya's acts, and made himself a note to add this question to his 'ask this from Deidara when he opens up to you (if ever)'-list.

Not to mention how he could just whistle and raise his arm and a bird would fly to him, just like that. Sasori would have to ask him about that, as well.

Though for now, he settled with smiling at the blonde slightly, hoping that he would take the hint and forgive his redheaded companion, even though he hadn't even asked for the clown's forgiveness in the first place.

The birds all flew back to Tayuya with a few higher notes, circling around her so fast that her clothes and hair even moved a little as if the wind was blowing in the middle of the stage.

Pakura seemed to be sort of unimportant in the whole act, Sasori soon noticed. She would just kind of stand there awkwardly, making sure the birds were obeying to what they were told to do, yet she didn't do anything herself. It was like the spotlight was on Tayuya, and Pakura was just a decoration on the background with her complex dress and skillfully dyed hair.

Were she to be put up on the stage with _Haku_, the kid who seemed homosexual from what Sasori had seen and who got knives thrown at himself for a good part of his number, Pakura still wouldn't have got her chance to shine; Haku would've stolen the show rather completely.

The whole number was about Tayuya, really. If this was what Pakura had meant when she had happily told Deidara how 'she would be performing', Sasori would try to feel a little sorry for her. Though empathy like that, especially when directed towards someone he couldn't honestly care less about, had never been one of his strong points...

The white birds were soon flying off in different directions again, and Sasori was starting to understand why Deidara was so fond of them; they were graceful creatures, to put it simply. A small frame equipped with long feathers and the ability men could only dream about; being able to spread their wings and fly into the bright sky.

Though the look of utter astonishment on the blonde clown's face whenever Sasori just so happened to glance at him was slowly starting to tick him off. Okay, so he had thought the blonde was annoying when he wouldn't shut up? Well, he was definitely more annoying when he had actually shut up and wouldn't talk anymore, just looking like he was privately saying 'I have so much to tell you but I suppose you'll never know what it is now (un)~'.

Sasori hated secrets, in a way. Mostly when someone said that they had a secret, but he wasn't worthy of knowing it. That was what Deidara was like, right now. So utterly happy about something (the birds, most likely), but so fucking sworn to secrecy (or being hurt over Sasori's careless remarks, either way) that he couldn't possibly say aloud what exactly it was that made him so Deity-damned ecstatic this time.

By the time the crowd was practically swept away by Tayuya's talents (that Sasori himself didn't particularly fancy... Though that might've been just because Deidara liked it all so much) and her number was slowly but steadily drawing to a close, Sasori had made himself a promise that he would get Deidara to talk to him again. He had managed it before, so why would this time be any different? All it would take was one word (five letters and two syllables), and then they'd be fucking best friends or whatever again. (As it was, it only occurred to him around half an hour later that they hadn't even been _friends_ to begin with.)

So after Tayuya's (and Pakura's) number was over, he tugged at Deidara's sleeve to draw the blonde's attention to himself. It may have been rather pathetic, yes, but at least it worked; Deidara turned to look at him, tilting his head slightly in a questioning manner.

When the blonde's attention had been successfully captured, the redhead took a deep breath. "I-"

To this, the blonde responded with the most upsetting one word (one word, five letters, two syllables, though he probably didn't know that, being the uneducated brat he was) Sasori had ever heard escape his mouth.

"Sorry, un."

And before Sasori even had the chance to say anything ('Don't say that, I'm the one who should be apologizing, I didn't mean to upset by saying something like that-!'), he continued, "I overreacted. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Forgive me, un?"

"It's... fine. Just... forget about it," was all he managed to choke out in response. Deidara had absolutely nothing he should be apologizing for, yet here he was, saying what Sasori had been trying to say for a good while now.

"Aye~ Thank you, un!" Deidara murmured, grinning in the dim lighting before leaning over to press his lips to Sasori's cheek for a fleeting moment. He then set his head on Sasori's shoulder, shifting slightly to adjust his position and then just staying where he was, seeming like he had no intention to move away any time soon.

"Is this... okay, un?" he then asked, after almost a minute had passed without either of them moving away from the contact.

Somehow, Sasori wanted to say 'no' and push Deidara away, to sneer at him with full-blown hostility for ever assuming that it could somehow be okay.

Why would he do that, though? It wasn't like Deidara's head was heavy on his shoulder, and he provided a little warmth that seemed to be escaping quickly in the wide tent. Besides, he had just apologized to Sasori when _he_ had been the one who had been hurt just a while ago.

All in all, Sasori had absolutely no reason to do anything but nod slowly. And when he realized that Deidara had no way of seeing the movement, he muttered a "yeah, it's fine" instead.

Deidara's head seemed to move slightly in agreement, and they settled in a silence as Orochimaru entered the stage yet again.

"Next up, we have our final act..." At the unhappy yells that followed this statement, he quickly continued, "But don't worry, because we saved the best for last! At least, the next act is my personal favorite... So I would like it if you all gave a warm welcome to Konoha's very own Sasuke Uchiha!"

"They have lost quiiiite a lot of artists," Deidara remarked, "They're supposed to have acrobats, magicians and clowns… I mean, more clowns. And another magician, un."

"Why?" was all Sasori could think about asking.

"I don't know, they're just supposed to, un."

Either people really had heard about 'Sasuke Uchiha' before, or their interest had just been captured with that introduction, but either way, they started applauding widely as Sasuke walked on the stage, confidently as ever.

He had blue-tinted black hair that was styled in bangs that sort of framed his face, and went up slightly on the back. Maybe it was because Deidara was getting to him, or maybe he was still thinking back at the last act, but his hair made Sasori think of a bird. From behind.

Sasuke was wearing a loose, white shirt that was open in the middle, exposing his toned chest, along with dark blue pants. He also had a rope(?) tied around his waist.

"I don't like him, un," Deidara murmured suddenly.

Since he couldn't remember Deidara being anything but nice to everyone he had come across before, this surprised Sasori to the extent where he had to ask his companion for the reason behind this dislike towards the black-haired young man.

"I just don't..." he said, sounding as if he too was slightly taken aback by the fact, "I think it has something to do with his eyes, un... Yeah, those eyes. I don't like them, un."

"That's hardly an appropriate reason for your sudden dislike towards him, but feel free to hate him if it makes you happy..." Sasori muttered back.

"Nooo," Deidara whined, apparently attempting to shake his head, seeing how it moved on Sasori's shoulder slightly. "Hating someone never makes one happy, un. If you hate someone too much, it will blind you. Then you can't think reasonably anymore, and most of the time, that gets you dead, un."

"...I guess you do have a point," Sasori admitted. Reluctantly, but still.

"Most of the time, contrary to the popular belief, I do, un," Deidara remarked. It wasn't exactly proud, but he still said it like it was simply a fact he had come to notice. "You only ever learn these things through life. You fall, you fail, you get kicked around and then you pretty much get your life ripped away from you, un. But as long a you live through it all, you're still learning to live your life right. And that's what makes it all worth it in the end, un."

"...That may have been a little too deep to be something you came up with all by yourself. You must've cheated somehow."

Deidara chuckled. "You'll never know, un... But do I know what it feels like to have what you thought was your whole life ripped away from you. I can guarantee you that I've experienced that much first-hand, un."

Sasori opened his mouth, though he wasn't even sure what he was going to say to that. Sorry? Thre was no way 'sorry' would be enough anymore. "I-"

"It's nothing, un. Absolutely nothing... Hey, wake me up when the show's over, if I fall asleep, will you, un?"

He frowned. "What the hell? You've been all circus-circus-circus and now that we're here, you're just going to sleep?"

"I already told you; I don't like him. It's the last act, too... And I'm tired, un. It'll be a long way back home... Besides, I said '_if_ I fall asleep! It's not like I'm planning to do so!" Deidara defended himself rather quickly and more than a little like he thought someone (namely, Sasori, because honestly, who else would care in the slightest if he fell asleep?) would be annoyed with him.

"Do what you want. I'll be right here."

Sasori could pretty much hear Deidara's smile from his voice. "Cool. Thanks, un."

While they were talking, Sasuke had apparently done all the necessary preparations for his trick. Now he was standing in the middle of the stage, seeming to concentrate as he took a lot of air into his lungs before blowing a fireball into the air.

It wasn't huge, per se, though that was probably a good thing, as a fireball that was any bigger than this one could've set the tent on fire. And Deity knew how that would've ended out. Sasori could only guess; badly.

There was a collective gasp from the audience, and the sphere of flames started growing, as if it was feeding itself with the attention it was currently gaining.

After it had grown so much that Sasori could practically feel the heat on his face (also making him ask himself how exactly the man could stand such heat from up close like that), it started to grow smaller again, until it vanished into ashes.

There was a loud applaud, clapping and cheering, and Sasuke merely smirked rather cockily, without bowing or anything. He just seemed like he knew how amazing he was and liked making it known.

Maybe Sasori was starting to understand why Deidara hadn't liked him from the moment he got on the stage.

For his next trick, Sasuke poured some liquid on the ground in a line that curved and twisted about. Maybe it formed some design that could be seen from somewhere else than from where Sasori was sitting, but he couldn't seen it.

After the design (if it was one, anyways) was finished, the man blew into it, stepping back as the fire quickly followed the trail he had just made.

Sasori had to admit that the way red, flaming embers suddenly took over practically the whole stage was fascinating, if not even amazing.

They flickered, flickered, flickered, and then slowly died, though not without a final widening _flash_ that made some people in the audience gasp in surprise, or something of the sort.

Sasuke grinned, seeming proud of himself. He blew three more fireballs into the air around himself, and they seemed to float for a moment before vanishing again.

Without waiting for applauds (what was wrong with these people?), he pivoted on his heel and turned to leave, followed by the loudest applauds for the day.

And as he walked away, Sasori could see a black pattern on the back of his neck.

He proceeded to nudge Deidara slightly as people started to make their leave. "Brat? It's over now... Let's get going."

Deidara yawned, sitting up straight and stretching lazily. "I don't want to leave, un..." he whined unhappily.

"Well, I'm going, so if you don't-"

Quicker than what should've been possible, Deidara was on his feet, grabbing Sasori's arm. "Let's go, un~"

Chuckling to himself, Sasori let himself be pulled up, following the blonde to the entrance of the tent.

"Actually…" Deidara started once they were there, "Can you wait here, for just a moment? I have to go do something, so just stay here… I'll be back in twenty minutes tops, un!" And with that, before waiting for Sasori's response, he had left, running off into the crowd.

"Hey, wait-" Sasori started, but by then, it was already too late, and the blonde couldn't hear him anymore.

He sighed unhappily, making a mental note not to move an inch to ensure that Deidara wouldn't get lost. Deity forbid that happen…

"What the _fuck _are _you _doing here?" came a voice from behind him.

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><p>And now, the circus is <em>officially<em> over and the plot can go on. Finally~ :'D

...though I'm a bit sad to leave it behind... Eh, we'll return to these characters sometime, won't we?

I would absolutely adore a review. Adore. Be my sunshine and spend a moment writing a couple of words to say what you thought of this, if you will.

See you next time, right? OwO


	17. Lane

Hi~ :)

Thanks a whole lot for reviewing, you~ I really really really appreciate it and love you all for that~ Really! :'D

Congrats to the people who figured out who the mysterious person from the end of last chapter was~

And oh, with some brain-stroming, _ToshiroHitsugaya16 _figured out the pattern behind the chapter names~ :) If anyone wants to know what it is, you can always ask~

**Words:** 2,367  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own. When do I ever...?  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Swearing.

Sigh, this chapter is on the shorter side. But on the bright side, I've already started next chapter a week or a few ago. I've been planning forward~ /for once  
>Well, either way, here's chapter 17, <em>'Lane'<em>. Go ahead, figure out what that means. _I triple dog dare you _to_._

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><p>"Hello, Hidan." Sasori didn't turn around as he replied to the man standing behind him. He just felt like he was proving it to them both, somehow - that they were still whatever they had been, back when they still saw each other each and every day.<p>

"You didn't fucking answer my question," Hidan hissed when the redhead finally did turn around.

"What are _you _doing here? Sasori returned, glancing at the taller male. Hidan was the same as ever; hair that was either silver or just very, very, _very_ light black or blonde or something, annoyed facial expression and light skin.

His clothes were different, though; he wore none of that classy clothing Sasori was used to seeing on him; something that just _screamed _'Look at me, I'm high-ranked!'. Sasori's best bet was that he didn't wish to attract any attention while he was here. Or maybe he wasn't allowed to...

Hidan shrugged. "I was headed to visit you, actually. But the fucking circus got me sidetracked, I suppose…" He absently pointed in the general direction of where his house was located, as if that explained something.

"I don't even know why I asked, it's not like I'll be using that knowledge for anything..." Sasori muttered, more to himself than his current companion. "So you were headed to see me? Why?"

Hidan frowned, "Because you were mistaking my fucking pigeon for a chick! You should fucking know that Kisame is a male! Not a fucking chick!"

"Wait..." Sasori said slowly, trying to understand just why the gender of a _bird_ was so important all of a sudden. "But I thought Kisame was the name of your pet fish?" The only reason why he even remembered the name of something as trivial as a pet fish was that he had been very amused by the sole fact of Hidan even naming said fish in the first place.

The albino nodded. "Keyword: _was_. I don't know what happened, but he just fucking died, just like that... So I named fucking pigeon-Kisame after him. I thought I fucking told you that already, though." At the latter sentence, he eyed Sasori suspiciously. "And that's why I was fucking going to find you and demand an explanation for that."

The Ace of Clubs didn't falter from the glance. "Might've been some other redhead... Either that, or I just forgot about it. That happens at times, especially since I've had a lot on my mind lately..."

"What exactly?" Hidan was quick to ask, "And why the fuck are you here, again?"

Sasori cursed himself for letting the subject of their conversation trail back to where it had started out from. Especially since it had already seemed like he wouldn't need to answer that question after all. "It's... nothing. And I took this one moronic blonde here. Not out of my own free will, mind you..."

Hidan blinked. "Wait... So you actually fucking went and got yourself a girl? What the fuck?"

"...He's not a girl..." Sasori said, shivering in his mind from the fact that he and Deidara had just been taken as a couple. Not to mention that it was done by Hidan, his... a person he had known for quite a long time now. Hidan didn't even know Deidara, mind you, but... _still_.

The lower-ranked man out of the two of them shrugged dismissedly. "Whatever fucking floats your boat, I guess... I'm not going to judge you, but if you two get caught, I don't fucking know either of you."

"We are not a couple," Sasori hissed unhappily, "He's not a _girl_, we are not _together_, I _don't_ like him and I _never_ will. He's just an obnoxious _brat_ and I wouldn't fucking ever even talk to him if I had the chance to do so!"

Ignoring Sasori's sudden outburst (maybe he just knew him well enough to have come across one of these rare occurrences at some point), Hidan merely laughed it off. "Like I said, whatever floats your fucking boat. You don't need to get all Jashin-damned defensive on me."

Sasori was going to say something, but when he tried to find a comeback that would make it clear that he wasn't just defensive just _because_, that he was speaking the truth, he couldn't really think of one and waited to see if Hidan picked up another subject for their conversation or if he'd just leave already.

"...when do I get the chance to meet your fucking blonde?"

Already tired of Hidan and Deidara and Hidan talking about Deidara and fucking everything, Sasori sighed. "Whenever he decides to have the decency to crawl back here, really. He just said that he wanted to do something and then he left… He can be very strange at times, I swear."

"And you're fucking sure that he really _will_ come back?" Hidan asked to make sure.

"Yes. He will," Sasori responded, surprising even himself with how certain he sounded about this, "If he wants to get back home, he will. I would bet my head that he couldn't get there himself, let alone when it gets dark. He's-"

"Wait," Hidan cut in, "You are going back today? Why the fuck?"

Sasori frowned. "Why not?"

"Because, like you said, it's going to be fucking dark before you get there. Besides, sense has it that it's not sensible to start a journey like that after a long day. Stay at my place, fucking morons. You can leave for the fucking first thing in the morning."

"I suppose… If it's okay with him, that is."

After this, they proceeded to catch up just a little bit. Apparently Hidan found his 'money bag whore'-superior just as annoying as he had before, and apparently Sasori was still awful when it came to talking to people when he really didn't have anything to say to them.

Luckily (Sasori reprimanded himself rather quickly for thinking that) Deidara soon strolled back, seeming content with whatever he had been up to and visibly letting his grin widen just a little bit as he saw the familiar redhead.

"Hi Danna, un~" he greeted him happily, then turning to Hidan more than a little awkwardly. "And um, hey..."

Hidan nodded. "I'm Hidan. From Yukagure... Jack of Hearts."

"Oh," Deidara responded, "That's nice, un. I'm Deidara."

When the blonde ended his introduction at that, Hidan shot Sasori a look that pretty clearly said 'That's all?', to which Sasori couldn't do anything but shrug in response.

Apparently this wasn't good enough for Hidan, who had been taught a lot about manners despite the way he preferred to act when around people who wouldn't give a damn, because the albino scowled. "That's all you've got, blondie? That's hardly a fucking introduction, if you were to ask me."

Deidara shrugged awkwardly in response, "I'm an artist," he gestured at his clothes like he was trying to somehow excuse his worn appearance, " I've tried a lot of other things as well, though, un. I do whatever's needed to get me by, really..."

"Huh..." was Hidan's smart response summed up in one syllable. "Ever tried being a jester? You sure seem suiting for the job, if you ask me..."

Sasori opened his mouth to say something, mostly because he was going ignored, and he didn't like being ignored, but was then cut off by Deidara chuckling in an amused manner.

"Really? You think so, un? That's... interesting, for sure."

Hidan frowned. "What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"I _was_ a jester. Kirigakure court jester, actually. And I'm almost certain that once when I was to amuse the guests, _you_ were there. In Kiri. Were you, though, un?" Deidara tilted his head and stared at Hidan, almost like trying to recall if he was right or not.

"...if I fucking was? What does that matter to you?"

"It doesn't," Deidara responded, drawing back from where he had been inspecting Hidan, "I'm curious is all. I try to remember as many faces as I can, but sometimes they get all messed up in my mind no matter how hard I try to get them right, un."

Hidan dropped his scowling and shrugged, "I suppose I might've been. Like it fucking matters..."

"You were a jester?" Sasori blurted out suddenly, without meaning to. Hell, he hadn't been supposed to say anything, but the thought of Deidara actually having a past like any other person and the concept that maybe Sasori could learn about it...

It was certainly interesting, if nothing more.

"Yeah," Deidara replied with a casual shrug, as if talking about the weather, "For a year, half a year, a year and a half, maybe. It's been a while since that happened, un. Wasn't the right job for me in the end, un..."

"So it's better to be a fucking homeless trash living on the Jashin-damned streets?"

That was Hidan. Of course it was; Sasori did not swear _that_ much.

But that was also Hidan because, as Sasori realized when the cruel words left the Jashinist's mouth that he would never say something like that. Not something that was meant to hurt, not like that, not about Deidara's less than fortunate position he sure as hell hadn't chosen for himself, no matter what he claimed to have done.

Of course, he had hurt Deidara and would most definitely continue to do so, but those times, he had never aimed to do it. It had been a thought he hadn't thought to the end before it had already left his mouth.

Deidara only laughed lightly. "Now that you ask, _I do_, un. I prefer making people genuinely happy, no matter if that's a one in a hundred occurrence. It's much better than being stuck in a stupid _castle_ and hearing people laugh because they're _supposed to_, un."

Hidan raised a questioning eyebrow before muttering to Sasori in a low voice, "I think I can see why you fucking tolerate the blonde, after all."

Sasori surely would have come up with some comeback, but Deidara was _there_ and discussing someone when they were less than five meters away from you was stupid in general. And Sasori wasn't stupid.

"Forgot to fucking mention it before, blondie, but you and Sasori are spending the night at my fucking house."

Deidara actually looked sort of surprised as he heard this, turning to Sasori and looking at him with the sky blue eye that was slightly widened, his mouth hanging open until he started speaking in an equally surprised tone, "We are, un?"

Feeling no need to respond with words, Sasori nodded, and without even meaning to do so, sort of gave the other two the sign that they could get going now.

Hidan lead them on their way, naturally, but he still didn't walk ahead of Deidara or Sasori in favor of letting the three of them converse idly.

"How long will it be before we get there, un?" Deidara was quick to ask.

Sasori sighed, while Hidan actually took his question to consideration as something worthy enough of being answered to. "An hour if we're this fucking slow."

"...really? Not more than that, un?"

This time Hidan seemed to consider Deidara's response either too childish, too annoying or too something else, because he left it unanswered.

The mere thought of getting there soon seemed to make Deidara calm down quite a lot, as he shut up and actually focused on walking instead of chit-chattering all the time. This in turn caused Hidan and Sasori to make a silent deal; neither of them would say _a word_ so that Deidara wouldn't start talking again. Most likely they could get there a little faster this way.

Upon reaching Hidan's house, Sasori couldn't help but sigh. It appeared that Hidan had been right about how heading back to the main town would be stupid up this point; they hadn't even been walking for long now, yet he felt like he could easily fall asleep on the floor.

Hidan opened the door, Sasori trailing right behind him. Deidara yawned lightly as he followed them, then shaking his head in an obvious effort to seem a little bit less tired.

The house wasn't really all that classy, at least considering what Hidan could've had (and now that Sasori thought about it, Hidan most likely had a classier residence somewhere), but it was still by far better than Sasori's old rat hole and definitely better than wherever Deidara spent his nights, even though Sasori really had no idea what that might've been.

Either way, Hidan's house was one of those that were on the smaller side, but it had the advantage of a grand total of two floors, connected by ladders.

The furniture wasn't all that fancy, either; one could see that Hidan spent more time working than living in his home; there were only the necessarities, a combined oven-fireplace, a few cupboards and two beds, one downstairs and another one upstairs.

"I'm sleeping on the floor, un," Deidara announced as the first thing any of them said after stepping inside.

"You're a fucking guest," Hidan said with a scowl, "I can sleep on the floor; you don't fucking have to."

"But I want to!" Deidara whined, sitting down on the floor, "I can't sleep on a bed, un! I just can't fall asleep in one!"

After a minute of this, Sasori had already toned their 'pleasant conversation' off and sat on the downstairs bed. In the end it seemed that Hidan did agree to sleep on the bed, though he didn't seem too happy about it as he blew out the candles that had previously been giving them some light and went upstairs to claim the bed he hadn't even wanted.

"Danna?" Deidara asked from somewhere in the darkness.

"Yes?"

Sasori involuntarily flinched when Deidara suddenly pressed his lips to his cheek, then moving to poke his forehead with his finger. "Sweet dreams, un. Try to remember them this time."

"Sure…" Sasori yawned, "You too."

Somewhere on the verge of sleep, Sasori had a Déjà Vú feeling about this... And then he realized that Deidara had never told him where he had run off to earlier.

* * *

><p>Finally I can sleeeeep. 2,5 hours last night almost caused me to fall asleep while typing this up, hehe~

I love reviews. Those and smiles are the two things that make my world go around and keep me alive, so... :)

See ya next week, righto?


	18. Remember

It's a little late, but I was at a camp all weekend. Absolutely no freetime whatsoever because there were 39 little kids and 11 people, including myself to take care of everything. It was awesome, though. Really awesome. :D

Oh and mandatory announcement! **Read read read!**

_I'll be going to_ _London next Saturday! I will be back on Friday the __13th (wait, what?), and if everything goes as planned, the only effect this should have on you guys (apart from slow review replies) is that chapter 19 should be up on Friday. You know, this Friday. 6th. Because I'm doing my best here. :D_

**Words:** 2,012 (See wha- /shot)  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Swearing~  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> When do I ever own this? That's right, never.

Read on, this is the companion chapter (first companion chapter! Ooooh!) to chapter... you know. You should. Anyways, here's chapter 18, _'Remember'_.

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><p>Sasori couldn't recall waking up, but suddenly he just <em>was <em>awake.

It was still dark (_why not? Hidan did blow out those candles, after all)_, but the room was lit by a single candle, letting Sasori see a certain blonde sitting by his bed, wearing black-and-red clothes and an unreadable expression on his face.

"Deidara?" he asked, "Why are you still awake? And why… those clothes?" _And when had he seen those clothes before?  
><em>  
>Deidara leaned his elbow on the bed, resting his chin on his hand. "I wonder, un. Are you sure you want to know?"<p>

"Wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"I'm awake because you were asleep, un. And these clothes are _mine_. No one else's. Just mine. See the difference, un?" he tilted his head, then sighing, "I suppose you don't. But I'm _me, _un. I'm worth it all… That's why. Remember that in case you need it later, un."

Sasori groaned. He knew he should be getting used to Deidara's seemingly illogical logic by now, but he still couldn't stop wishing that he would _understand_. "Just sleep, okay? You can reason it to me in the morning."

"Why, un?" Deidara drawled out lazily, "Don't you want me here?"

"It's not that," Sasori started, "I just want to sleep and y-"

The blonde frowned, sighing softly and then moving his hand to Sasori's mouth, managing to cut him off mid-sentence. "I understand, I understand. You don't have to say anything, un. It's alright."

Sasori pushed his hand away to speak again. "It's not. You don't sound like it's okay."

"...it's not, un," Deidara hissed irritably. "Nothing ever is! I'm doing the best I can here and you're just fucking saying you _want to sleep_! You know what, un? So do I! I fucking want that too!"

The Ace of Clubs felt more than a little drowsy as the clown before him snapped his fingers.

* * *

><p>"You awake, un?" Deidara asked, his head tilted as he towered over Sasori, seeming a little worried about the redhead.<p>

Sasori waved him off with his hand before sitting up. "Don't I seem like it?"

"...I don't know, un," Deidara confessed, "You were talking in your sleep just a minute ago. How can I be sure that you're awake now, un?"

The puppeteer responded with a roll of his eyes. "Trust me; _I _know when I'm awake. And I _am _awake now..." He looked around himself for a short moment before recalling where he was, "Hey, where's Hidan?"

Deidara shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest. "Said he had some errands to make. Left me here for when you wake up, un."

He nodded. "Fine," he muttered, lying back down, "Wake me up when he shows up."

"You can't sleep, un!" Deidara immediately cried in response, tugging at his blanket urgently.

"Why not?"

"Because it's just you and me here! I can't sleep and then if you do, I'll be all alone, un!" Deidara tugged a chair close to Sasori's bed and sat on it to further express the point that he was _not_ going to leave Sasori alone anytime soon.

"…whatever…"

"From the subject to another one, do you happen to remember what you were dreaming about, just now, un?"

Sasori nodded slowly. "Yes, why?"

"Do you think it's because I woke you up?" Deidara continued, "I'm trying to make sense as to why you can remember it this time," he explained, "Since you couldn't remember before, un."

"I don't know. Might be. And just why do you care?"

"No reason, un~ Just curious, is all~"

"If you knew my Card Mark, what would you do?" Deidara suddenly lashed out. He stood up, making the chair _screech_ loudly against the wooden floor, "Would you _hate _me if I told you? Would you hate me if I didn't?" The blonde seemed like he was on the verge of losing his nerves by now, nearly screaming at his companion.

"Calm down, brat-"

"Answer me and I might," Deidara hissed suddenly.

"I don't hate you. I won't hate you and I haven't hated you. So calm down, will you? Otherwise you're just bound to break something…"

"Liar."

It seemed like that single word said everything; because with that one word, the room was spinning and Sasori felt like falling and nothing made sense anymore because up was left and right was down and Deidara was back to smiling now.

"I did ask you if you were sure you wanted to know, un."

With that, he pushed Sasori down from some invisible edge he had previously been hanging on to, and then suddenly he didn't only feel like falling, but he _was _falling.

* * *

><p>In the morning (<em>was it morning for real this time, or just another dream?<em>), Sasori woke up to find Deidara curled up on his feet, clutching the thin blanket in his hands.

"This is my bed," were the first coherent words the redhead could get out of his mouth, shoving his companion lightly and waking him up while doing so.

"Sleep..." Deidara murmured, seeming like he still hadn't woken up properly, "Sleep-walking, un."

"Oh really, now?" Sasori challenged, "What happened to you not being able to fall asleep in a bed?"

"I lied; I've never slept in a bed before," Deidara said casually, "But my first time of sleeping in one wouldn't have been as special if I had been up there all alone, or what's even better, with _Hidan_. You know, un."

"So you let Hidan sleep in his bed just so that I would sleep here and you could crawl- excuse me, _sleep-walk_ into my bed?"

"Pretty much. Why?"

"Indeed, why?"

"I felt like it, un," Deidara told him with a shrug, "Have you noticed that you're actually having a somewhat normal conversation with me right now, un?"

"Don't change the subject. Besides, you could've just _asked_ me, like a normal person."

"To share a bed with you?" the former jester asked skeptically, "You would've said no, un."

Sasori shrugged, "Probably. But now you will never know."

"Next time," Deidara promised, "I'll ask you, un. Then I'll know."

"If there ever is a next time to begin with."

"Hey," the blonde changed the subject again, "Can you remember what you dreamt about last night, un? You were muttering something in your sleep."

"I think I do... You were there and you were... Pretty much insane. You talked about all sorts of strange things, too."

"How strange?" Deidara asked, seeming curious to find out the level of his insanity.

"For an example, and I quote: 'Would you hate me if I told you my Card Mark?'"

Deidara chuckled softly, "Well, at least it's not my imagination, but yours, un. Right?"

Something about that statement, and especially something about that uncertain question in the end seemed off, but Sasori still nodded in response. "Right."

"Hidan's still upstairs, by the way. He's awake, though, un."

"...will you tell me?"

The blonde blinked, "About what? Hidan? I just d-"

"Your Card Mark."

"Haven't we already talked his through...?" He nodded in response, biting his lip. "Of course I will. Just not _now_. Not here and not today, un."

"I don't think the response was 'of course' when I last asked you," Sasori informed him, "But I'm trusting that you'll hold on to that promise, then."

"Of course, of course~ Now get up, un."

"What for?"

"For leaving, un. To the town, remember? The town where you live, un? Ring a bell?"

"What's the hurry?"

"Hidan's leaving somewhere or other soon, so he sort of wants us gone before that. In more swear words, un."

Sasori nodded, standing up from his bed. Good thing he hadn't really bothered to undress for bed the night before... "Wait, how do you know? Weren't you just sleeping?"

Deidara shrugged. "I might have woken up a couple of hours earlier...? For my defense, Hidan offered me some tea, un. And I happen to like tea."

"So you two had a fancy chit-chattering moment, tea and all, without me?"

"Pretty fucking much. Are you fucking jealous, having to share your little blonde?"

They both turned to look at Hidan, who was suddenly standing none too far behind Deidara. And Sasori couldn't help but wonder just how much had he heard from that conversation.

"Well good morning to you too," Sasori hissed, "And for the record, no. I'm only upset about the tea-"

"You hate tea," both Hidan and Deidara said at the same time, though Hidan's statement was equipped with another 'fucking'.

"...Hidan told me that earlier, un," Deidara murmured awkwardly, apparently because he saw how Sasori was staring at both of them more than a little oddly.

"Either way, you could have woken me up."

"Could have, didn't fucking bother."

"You're such a great friend, Hidan. I'm glad to know you," Sasori muttered sarcastically.

"Can I go make some more tea, un?" Deidara said suddenly, apparently wanting to excuse himself so that they could talk more privately.

The foul-mouthed platinum blonde nodded, "Be my fucking guest."

"Already am~" Deidara murmured as he skipped off to do as he had just said.

Hidan pulled Sasori aside ever so subtly, muttering, "You're like a fucking _hero_ to him, you know? Blondie tries to be casual about it, but let him lead the conversation and all he'll talk about is _you_. Sasori Danna this and Sasori that, un un un~"

"That's just because he doesn't like to talk about himself," Sasori argued, "And he doesn't really know anyone else."

"Is that fucking so?" Hidan asked with a slight grin, "Because that's not quite what he said. Blondie told me that he made a friend at the circus, as well. But apparently even that was just so that he could get his beloved Danna in without having to fucking pay for it."

Sasori felt his face heat up ever so slightly and scowled. "So maybe I didn't pay for the circus. What are you going to do about it?"

Hidan's first reaction was to laugh. "Nothing. Who do you fucking take me for? I'm not pathetic enough to do something to my friend because they didn't bother to pay for a fucking trip to the circus. My point was that blondie was ever so Jashin-damned happy to be doing something for you. Just thought you might want to know."

"It's not like that-"

"Yes it fucking is. Fucking accept it before someone else gets him or before you break him apart."

"Are you going to try and get him, then?" Sasori asked, sort of perplexed by the whole concept of_ Deidara_ and _Hidan_ getting along without _Sasori_ involved.

"Me?" Hidan laughed again. "No, he's fucking perfect to be your fucking closest friend or whatever you want him to be. I have someone else I can't seem to fucking get rid of, myself. And when you can't get rid of someone for a fucking long time, usually that means that you're better off together."

It took a couple of seconds before Sasori snorted, "And who told you that?"

"Blondie did, actually. Why? Didn't it fucking sound like something I'd say?"

"It's more like it did sound something _he_ would say. I think I'm getting used to his logic, and more likely, lack of it."

Deidara, almost like summoned (though if that was the case, he could've been there for the whole conversation, as it had been mostly about him either way), trailed into the room, holding a small, white teacup in his hands, almost like he never wanted to let go of its warmth. "Hi~"

"Back at you, blondie. We were just fucking talking about you."

Sasori nodded dismissedly, focusing his gaze on the small teacup. "Right..."

Deidara smiled warmly at him for this. "That's nice. Oh, did I interrupt something, un? Because-"

"No, you didn't," Sasori cut in, using a tone that just dared the other two to argue, "Let's go home."

It was only after Hidan chuckled that Sasori started thinking how he could have phrased that a little differently.

* * *

><p>*yawn* Yay, I made it~ is almost amazed by the fact

See you on... Friday? o.o''


	19. Hold

Hey~

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it, and happy weekend to those who don't~ :)

Look, look~ I made it~ owo

That's only because _you guys, _yes, you little creatures, that I managed it. I swear, I thought about giving up because tomorrow's another day and I'm tired but I wanted to do my sleepy best so here goes~ :D

On my life, I absolutely _have _to say that my older brother popped by yesterday. He's moving to a new apartment with his girlfriend and gave me his GameCube, Dreamcast and 25 (I counted them, yes~) games, saying that he wasn't playing them anymore either way... Needless to say, being the gamer girl I am, I've been playing them from Pokémon Red to Pikmin to Shenmue all day. Hence it being nine PM and me having roughly 500 words down for this. Yes.

Also; leaving to London tomo-today, actually! Feels _surreal._

**Words:** 2,310, it seems~  
><strong>D-claimer<strong> (in other words, Disclaimer)**:** I don't own. How _shocking_...  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>I fell asleep twice while typing this down. So typos and brain-fails are possible. Nothing else, I recall...

Here goes; Chapter 19 (almost twenty! Yay!), '_Hold'_.

/edit/ Fixed the repeating part in the middle and added some stuff here and there since I'm awake now. Thanks for pointing that out, Spazzyninjafish~

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><p>Deidara agreed to leave rather easily, or at least rather easily when keeping in mind that he was Deidara, who often got his amusement out of annoying Sasori.<p>

Maybe he had his reasons for leaving remotely early. Sasori didn't ask about them, thinking that maybe if he toned down the questioning, the blond would end up answering the more important questions.

Again, maybe.

"Such a pretty day, un~" Deidara announced happily, skipping for a couple of steps. Then he seemed to realize that the redhead wasn't about to quickening his pace for him and slowed down to walking again. "...You're boring."

"You're probably the only person in the world who's bothered by the fact," Sasori remarked. It wasn't like Hidan really _cared_ if the Ace of Clubs was boring, Tenten didn't care about anything as long as she got her money, Kankuro nearly _appreciated _his boringness - that gave Sasori the time to work on his puppets, after all -, Sai would most likely prefer it if he was more boring and stopped going to the art store altogether..,

In the end, there was no one.

"Haha, poor lonely thing, un," Deidara commented lazily in response, "But to be fair... If I were to suddenly die, no one would notice, except you. No one else really knows I'm here and others wouldn't think much of it if I suddenly disappeared, un. They might think," he said, kicking a stray pebble more harshly than needed be, sending it flying off to the side of the road, "That I left. Left to Iwa or Suna or wherever, but they wouldn't notice, un."

"...You're not going to die," Sasori said, hissing for the most part.

The clown laughed good-humoredly. "You will never know... I would argue about this, but I actually have a vague feeling that we've already had this discussion before, un."

"We've talked to each other so much that I wouldn't really be surprised."

"...that sounded kind of nice," Deidara said, "Like we were... Long-time friends or something. It's nice, un."

"I don't know how long your friendships usually last, but this is almost a long time for me," Sasori admitted, reminding himself that his only other friendship was with Hidan.

Again, he laughed. "Don't worry; you're in my top ten, un."

"Right..." Sasori muttered rather skeptically.

"Okay, top five."

"Right..."

Deidara sighed, "Top three, un."

"Right..."

"I was serious this time!" Deidara all but whined, "This is the third longest time I've mostly spent with a person who's actually sort of nice, un!"

Sasori turned to look at him as they walked; wanting to figure out if the blonde was lying to him or not. "Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do I know the other two?"

The former court jester shrugged casually. "Maybe. One's dead and other's as good as dead either way... But yes, you've met them both, un."

"I have? When?" Sasori asked him curiously.

"Nope, I'm just messing with your head so that you will do whatever I want you to, un. Soon, it'll happen..." Deidara rolled his eyes, "Yes, you have. Somewhat recently, too, un."

Sasori waited for the blonde to say something more for a while. "So you're not going to tell me anything more?"

"Nope~" Deidara sang contently, "I'm perfectly fine with another subject for our discussion. Like what I've been wondering for a while... How do I know that other people see colors the same way as I do, un? Like, how will I know what your 'yellow' looks like?"

"Your hair is blonde," Sasori pointed out quickly.

The mentioned blonde-haired male groaned. "I know, but that's not the point! How do I know that what you call yellow is the same as what I call yellow? It could as well be what I call green, un!"

"People see colors the same way," Sasori argued.

"How do you know, un?" the clown challenged, "Have you ever looked at the world with my eyes?" Turning to look at Sasori, he pointed at his visible eye as he spoke. "Have you ever experienced my '_yellow_'? Or '_green_', for that matter, un? When I point at my yellow, you'll tell that it's yellow, but your yellow can differ from my yellow, un!"

"No need to get all angry at-"

"I'm trying to prove my point, un!"

"You don't need to prove it so loudly, is all. What does it even matter if your yellow is my green or vice versa, anyways?"

"It matters to me," Deidara whined, "I want to see the world like you do, but how do I know when I'm seeing it the right way, un?"

Sasori didn't know if Deidara used the word 'you' in this sentence to refer to people in general or to the redhead himself, but it made him feel a certain sense of proudness regardless.

"You can't. You just try to understand people, then cross your fingers and hope for the best."

"...that sounds very ineffective, un," the blonde complained.

"That's because it is... There just isn't a better way, as far as I'm concerned at least."

Deidara was pouting slightly as he nodded in an understanding way.

"It still bothers me, though, un..."

"What doesn't bother you? It seems that everything's getting under your skin today."

"Why did people ever think the world would be flat, un?" Deidara abruptly changed the subject.

Sasori shrugged, "Why not? It sounds much more sensible, if you ask me. The world being round always brings one back to the thought of 'then why aren't we falling down from here?'"

"But doesn't the world being flat means that over half of us really would fall from here, un?"

"Yes, but people really thought that there was nothing on the 'other side' and were afraid of falling down from the edge."

"And how do you know?"

"...studied it," Sasori admitted hesitantly. Hesitantly mostly because he didn't feel like bragging with his education to the blonde would be the smartest idea.

The clown did seem uneasy by the mention of studying, as he frowned, biting his lip while doing so. "...you have to teach me sometime, un."

"Teach you what, exactly?" Sasori asked, thinking about the possibility of doing what the blonde was asking him to.

"Anything. Everything, un," Deidara replied bashfully, nodding as if to himself.

"Fair enough. Remind me sometime when I have paper in hand."

"Paper..." Deidara repeated in a hushed murmur.

Sasori sighed. "You write on it and-"

"I know what paper is," Deidara told him, seeming quite amused by the idea of _not _knowing that, and thus not taking offense of Sasori thinking he was dumb or something or other of the sort.

"What do you not know, then?"

"Letters, un. How to write. How to read. Any higher numbers. How to count, un. Or pretty much anything that has to do with history..." Deidara listed, sighing unhappily. "I don't know much at all, really, un."

Sasori shrugged. "On the bright side, it seems that I have a lot I can teach you."

Deidara smiled to him softly. "So you'll do it, un?"

"Sure... I mean, it must've eaten some of your pride to admit that you want me to help in the first place, and that's pretty respectable if you ask me."

"..you've grown nicer than what you were some time back, un," the blonde remarked.

"You can blame yourself for that."

"I suppose that's a good thing..."

Sasori nodded slightly as he replied, "It's whatever you want it to be, really."

They eased into a sort of comfortable, mutual silence for a while, even though Deidara was humming as he walked. The sound was so quiet and soft that one could've mistaken it for some strange bird or something of the sort... Or Sasori could've done so, either way. That might've been because of his very, very small knowledge when it came to birds.

...Maybe there were some things the blonde could teach him, if he asked. After all, not all knowledge came from books.

"How much longer, un?" Deidara asked impatiently after a while.

"Not much at all," Sasori replied, "You should be able to spot some familiar buildings soon."

"Why was it such a long way, anyways?" Deidara questioned in a half-whine, "I thought the circus was right on the outskirts of the town, un!"

"It was," Sasori explained, "but we took a longer route because we had to get around the forest instead of just going through there."

He frowned, "Why would we do that if it's such a long way around the forest, un?"

"Because the forest is dark, it's easy to get lost in there and there are wolves living in there. That's why."

"Wolves?" Deidara repeated, quickly adding, "I know what wolves are. But... wolves, un?"

"Yes, wolves. There's a pack of them living in the forest... From what I've heard, either way."

"Huh?" the clown asked, "So you haven't been there to see them yourself? What a waste of an adventure, un."

"What a waste of a perfectly good chance of getting myself killed..." Sasori remarked bitterly, glaring at the ground as if it had done something very bad recently.

"If you think like that, you'll never end up doing anything fun, un~"

"And if you think like that, you'll end up dead sooner than you think."

This caused a sort of awkward silence as Deidara apparently tried to figure out what Sasori had meant by that and Sasori tried to understand what that might have sounded like when thrown outside of his mind.

"...that wasn't a threat, was it, un?" the blonde then voiced aloud slowly.

So that was what it had sounded like to him... "No, it wasn't," the puppeteer replied awkwardly, shaking his head in disagreement all the while, "It was a friendly reminder, that's all."

During the last bit of conversation, they had actually managed to reach some rather familiar locations, which seemed to please the blonde quite a bit.

"That was a cool journey, un," he summed it up, "But the walking bit wasn't that much fun. I would've gone insane, had I been alone, un."

"I don't doubt that."

Deidara grinned at him. "So ummm, thanks, un. Thanks a lot for coming with me... Let's do something some other time, right, un?"

Even though the main point of the trip had probably been _getting rid of_ the blonde, Sasori found himself agreeing to the suggestion. "Right."

"Yay~" Deidara murmured, closing the distance between them and pulling the redhead to his body, his arms going around his waist in what people called a _hug_.

For his sake, Sasori stayed quiet for a few seconds, then gritting out an unhappy 'let go of me'.

"I will, don't worry..." Deidara agreed, resting his head on the other's shoulder, "Once I've thanked you enough, un."

The Ace groaned. "Do you have to?"

"Actually, yes I do, un."

Sasori just sort of accepted his fate after that, limply hanging his arms on his sides, not really hugging Deidara back but not violently fighting him away, either.

That was the only thing he knew, really.

Deidara hugged him for a while longer, not really seeming to care about the people who passed by or about the stray looks they were getting.

To be fair, Sasori didn't care about them all that much, either. He couldn't really remember any

close contact quite like this from his past and couldn't fully deny that it wasn't _completely _uncomfortable.

When the blonde did move, it was to peck Sasori's both cheeks before drawing away. "Thank you," he murmured, "But I guess this is bye for now and stuff..." he shrugged, "I don't know. See you around, un?"

"Sure..."

Deidara grinned, saying one more thing before walking away, "I'll be sure to drag you somewhere... Sometime, un~!"

And as he watched the blonde leave, Sasori found himself muttering, "I'll take that as a promise, then..."

* * *

><p>The argument Deidara had about colors is something I always ask people. It bothers me... And I have yet to gain a satisfying answer... OTL<p>

Either way, see you on not this Sunday (like, the one that's two days from now), but the next one...?

And if you felt like doing something really awesome for me, you could always review and say a couple of words to me~ :3


	20. Repeat

Hiyaaa~

Lookie, lookie, I'm back from London and _still alive_! That means more Trump Card, namely, chapter 20! Twenty! Can you believe it?

...I hardly can. Does that really mean I've written a chapter every week for twenty weeks? o.o''

Either or, I do know it's because of you guys right there that I've managed it~ _You are really really really awesome, all of you!__:'D_

I have a couple of reviews from last chapter that I have replied to yet, but I _swear _I'll reply to them, if not today then tomorrow. I just figured that you'd like to have this chapter since I have it written...? :3

My life in two sentences would be that; I have a job for ten days next summer as a helper (it's a legal thing with 42 hours of tutoring for it, which I finished today, actually) at a confirmation camp. I was pretty happy to find that I got it, with a really good friend of mine getting a helper job from the same camp while I didn't think he had even applied for the same camp as me.

In one word: Yay! :D

**Words:** 2,232  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I didn't own anything for the last nineteen chapters, what makes you think I would own something now?  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Swearing, disturbing content...(?)

Go on, chapter 20(!), named conveniently as _'Repeat'._ Don't worry, it's not quite one of Naruto's infamous flashbacks though. :)

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><p>After Deidara had left, Sasori made quick work of busying himself with work, mostly getting his share of salt; as Temari had promised, she did have the salt ready for him.<p>

"How many silver coins was it, again?" Sasori asked her casually, wanting to see if he could haggle any from the price they had previously agreed on.

"I believe it was five," Temari replied, smiling innocently.

Sasori pretended to remember, while in reality he was merely thinking about what the odds would be that she would agree to his price. "No, I'm pretty sure it was only four."

"Really?" Temari asked him, seeming to doubt herself for a moment. "I could have sworn..."

Almost holding his breath, the redhead waited for her to finish her sentence. A silver coin was worth a bread at least, after all.

"Oh well," she finally murmured with a shrug, "I guess you're right, then."

Biting back his smug smirk, Sasori nodded, "I usually am." With that, he handed her the money, gaining the promised salt in exchange.

He then headed to deal with his next task, namely; puppet arms.

Dealing with Lee was luckily a lot easier than what dealing with Temari could ever be, as the young man rarely if ever really latched out on anyone without a proper reason to do so, and because he was after all a master in martial arts, Sasori never even dreamed of giving him a reason to really get mad.

With three extra bronze coins, Lee even agreed to take the wooden arms to Sasori's petty house, saving the redhead the trouble of having to do so himself.

As the day slowly drew to its end, Sasori was growing more and more, dare I say, bored. He would've worked on his puppets, but there were none left to finish and he couldn't find the motivation to actually get started with a new one.

Then again, he wanted to trail to the outskirts of market... Or the west side of the market, either way. The west side, where he would surely find a certain blonde street artist and former jester.

He couldn't quite understand just _why _he would do that, though. He had just spent many hours in the company of said blonde street artist or former jester or whatever he was. He had travelled a nice amount of kilometres with him, watched a full circus show, walked again, and even woken up with the blonde curled up in his bed for surprisingly strange reasons before travelling with him _once more_.

So why in the world should Sasori go there to see him now? He hadn't even wanted to have anything to do with the blonde in the first place! He had just _happened_ to pass by him (more than once, actually), and then got the stupid idea that _'Hey, why don't I go ahead and give that guy a couple of coins?'_

Had it really started from a rare display of... kindness on his part, or just a random incident that happened to make him want to do something like that, just this once?

Knowing how impatient he was, it didn't take too long until Sasori had gotten sick of searching for answers he knew he would never have.

Instead, he went to sleep, yet again too lazy to actually get a change of clothes before doing so.

He fell asleep blissfully quickly.

And came to regret the whole idea afterwards.

* * *

><p>It was misty.<p>

It was quiet - no, it was_ silent_.

It was dark, and the air was sure pierced by a low screech.

It was-_ not this again-!_

"I've seen this dream before," Sasori informed dream-Deidara in a dull voice shortly after the latter made his appearance.

"I'm aware," dream-Deidara replied, seeming very content with the knowledge, "But you didn't _understand_, un. You need to understand. _Have to_, un."

"What part of this do I need to understand?" Sasori asked him, "This dream was all a fucked-up mess."

"No it wasn't," Deidara disagreed, "Last night's was. But there was something _wrong_ with that... And I can't help you with this, un. Are you ready to try again?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You don't look with your eyes, not in this weather, un," Deidara lectured unhappily.

When Sasori didn't respond, Deidara tilted his head. "Remember your next line, un?" He pointed at himself after saying this, as if to remind Sasori.

"Dei...dara?" Sasori tried.

"Nope, try again..." the blonde who seemed just like Deidara but claimed not to be sighed annoyedly.

For a moment, Sasori thought that he had merely remembered his line wrong, but wasn't that what Deidara had said the last time, as well?

The redhead blinked, "What are you if you aren't Deidara? Some freaky fragment of my imagination?"

"Nope."

"...A memory?"

"Nope, un."

Sasori groaned. "Are you a part of Deidara, at least?"

"Yes and no. I'm a part, but not of Deidara, un. Then again, I'm Deidara for real, but we share no connection. Okay?"

"No... I don't understand," he muttered, frowning.

Deidara or whatever sighed again. "I'll show you a memory of Deidara's, okay? I'll do it, but you'll be quiet about it and you'll _have to understand_ un."

Nod.

Snap.

Black.

* * *

><p><em>There's the grave. - no way I would cry. I won't I won't I won't, not in front of him-<br>_  
>"That's… a Joker's grave."<p>

_Guess what? I KNOW!_

_Maaaan you're smart. Almost makes me wish I hadn't brought you here to begin with. Would've saved me the trouble. And I don't think this was a good idea..._

_Double or nothing, winner takes it all and at least I'll KNOW after this._

"Are you bothered by the concept,"

_Sound curious, just curious, just asking for the fun of it, because this is FUN... Didn't I say we'd do something fun? DIDN'T I? _

"of a Joker having a grave of his or her own, like everyone else, un?"

_Please don't tell me you are. That would be just fucked up of you._

"Yes."

_Insert mental SIGH here. I knew you would be one of those, fucking Ace and high and mighty and looking down on everyone else._

"I don't know..." _Drawl it out like it really doesn't matter to you..._ "When I die, I would prefer having a grave too, un. Why wouldn't he, un?"

_...oh deity I did not just say that._

"How do you know it's a he?"

_Damn. Did I really say that...? YES I DID. Come on, play it off coolly, you're a fucking great liar now DO IT._

"I don't. I just said that, is all, un." _Greatest excuse of the year. Even I wouldn't fall for that. And I SAID IT._ "I pity them, un. I mean, yeah, they got a grave, but that's hardly enough to compensate having lived a really shitty life."

_Oops, he's an Ace. He probably has no clue of having a shitty life. GREAT THINKING, Deidara. I'm sooooo proud of you right now. So proud that you wouldn't ever believe..._

"What do you mean, 'shitty life'? They make everyone else's lives shitty, that's all they're capable of."

_...you fucking crossed the line. This is personal now._

"You really never thought that maybe not all Jokers want to be mean and make shit happen, that maybe they don't all even do that, but they're so fucking hated that people fucking kill them after they're born and fuck-"

_Calm down, calm down, graveyard! It's a graveyard! And THAT grave, THE grave, you can't start screaming and crying your eyes out now! Not here!_

_...not that I'm crying, because I can't be not here not in front of him not because of THIS. _

"-and fuck you, un."_ Am I trembling, by the way?_ "It's not a nice life to live at all, and they haven't done a thing to fucking deserve it."

"Are you-"

_AM I A JOKER? What do you think? Just... fuck you._

"I knew him," _Hahaha, I did for sure. Who are you to tell me he made someone's life miserable when only I knew. Just me. _"I fucking knew him, un. And he didn't deserve this."

_Knew him... I knew him, so fuck off and don't even try talking sense to me. I don't want to hear it._

_...Hey, he shut up. Did he freak out because I freaked out, is he disgusted that I KNEW HIM or does he not want to say anything?_

_Maybe he really thinks I'm a Joker. Could he be that blind...?_

"I'm sorry," _SURE YOU ARE._ "For saying that. I didn't-"

_You didn't? You always do. I fucking hate you._

"Let's just go," _I have to get away so that I can pretend to be the 'Deidara' you know again..._"Let's go, un."

* * *

><p>"Were those... His thoughts? Deidara's? Yours?" Sasori asked after recovering from the awful, haunting flashback.<p>

"His, yes. Deidara's thoughts from the day at the graveyard, un. Doesn't that make you proud of yourself?"

"...I don't believe you. Deidara isn't like that. He just... isn't."

"Go ahead, ask him then. Ask Deidara about that day at the graveyard. What was he thinking about when you spoke to him, whose grave was that?" 'Deidara' moved closer as he spoke, finally snapping his fingers, twice. "Remember this, un?"

Cards flying in the air.

_This didn't go too well last time, did it...?_

"Let's play, un... Pick a card, any card, un..."

This time Sasori knew better than to take the 'Joker' card, moving to pick a card from the other direction instead.

It was a Jack of Diamonds.

Deidara shrugged. "That's important, I suppose... I mean, that could be important if you want it to be, un," he informed Sasori.

Nodding, Sasori took another card.

"Oh, King of Diamonds? I must confess I can't foresee things, but if all goes well, that'll be important, un."

Another.

Blink.

Queen of Hearts.

"But that's-" he started, throwing it away and quickly picking another one before Deidara could get the chance to comment on it.

Two of Diamonds.

Deidara frowned. "You can... Forget about that, un."

Seven of Spades.

A fond laugh escaping his lips, the blonde nodded, "That's important, for sure. If nothing else, it gives one hope, un. Hope that things could actually work out. That Seven and Eight of Spades could actually make it. You know, un?"

He didn't, but questioning it would've probably been a bad idea.

Jack of Clubs.

"...haha, I've met him once. Can't really say he matters to me though, un."

_He said 'I'. Not 'Deidara', but 'I'._

Nine of Clubs.

"Oh..." Deidara's mouth was open, but he couldn't seem to say anything to that. "Used to be... important, un. At this rate though..."

When he didn't say anything else, Sasori took another card.

(_Turned out to be the last one._)

Three of Diamonds.

Deidara wore such a horror-struck expression before opening his mouth, "I- Deidara was-" He seemed _so sad_, almost like he was going to cry.

And suddenly, almost like it had sensed the young man's discomfort, the accursed crow flew.

And attacked.

"Oh man... Not again, un..."

"Did you get that, un?"

Hooray, back to the fancy-clothed version of Deidara, back to the candlelit room. Why couldn't the dream just _end_?

Sasori shook his head slightly. "Was he talking about people, just now?"

"People with those Card Marks?" Deidara asked to make sure, "Yes, that's right. Hope you got it all memorized, because it can help you, un."

"...you're doing the wrong lines for this dream."

"So are you. The first line was yours, un."

"Oh... 'Where are we?', was it?"

"_My home_," Deidara emphasized, "I brought you here to finish this dream sequence, un."

"Was this really your home once?" Sasori asked dubiously, because even though it was dark, he could still see that it was one of the finest houses he had ever laid his eyes on.

The blonde grinned, "Maybe? And maybe these-" he motioned at himself, then rather absently tugging at his pant leg, "Were once my clothes. Maybe… I wonder what happened. You have to figure that out, un."

The Ace of Clubs frowned, "But why? Why me?"

"Why not, un? You want to know, right? About Deidara, about him with the crow, and about me, un? That's why. You can't know unless you understand, un."

Sasori shook his head. "No... You're not real. This is a dream and just my imagination. That's why you're just lying."

"He told you a way to figure out if we were lying, right?" Deidara asked, "I'll give you another, un." With that, his hand went to his shoe, and _not this again-!_

"This," Deidara showed Sasori the small knife, "This is something of Deidara's. _He keeps it in his fucking shoe,_ I swear, un. Go ahead and see for yourself when you talk to him again, un."

"But that's-"

"You remember how this dream ends, don't you, un?"

Sasori wanted to say 'You wouldn't do that', but only managed, "You-"

"I would say I'm sorry... But that would be a lie, un."

_tap knock jingle screeeeeech_

"And_ mommy taught me _not to lie... unless you have to, un."

* * *

><p>When Sasori woke up in the morning, he realized that if he had ever thought that he was confused, he had been merely imagining it.<p>

_Now_ he was beyond confused for sure.

* * *

><p>There you go. I stopped here so that you would have the chance to figure stuff out before Sasori tries it. :)<p>

If you have time, I always appreciate a couple of words written in the form of a review.

See you next Sunday, won't I~?


	21. Beginning

Hi!

Sorry for having been a bit absent; had three tests last week and a friend over all weekend.

But today I've been all about Trump Card. Really. I worked hard on this. :)

Oh and *pokes the number of reviews* 150. Woah. o.o'' You guys are my reason for everything. Really. I really love you, don't forget that. :'D

This chapter is important. *shrugs*

**Words: **3,248 (will let you wonder why :D)  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Don't own. :3  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Swearing. Cliff-hangering. All-around crucial things for the plot. Be very afraid.

Here goes, chapter 21, with the most meaningful name ever: _'Beginning'_

* * *

><p>Since it seemed like the dream absolutely wouldn't leave his mind, Sasori headed to ask Deidara about it, first thing in the morning.<p>

"You're up early, un," the blonde sitting on the peg remarked, "Wouldn't have expected you here until a few hours later…"

Sasori grunted in agreement, "I had some strange dreams last night... Had to come clear up my mind."

"Oh." Deidara raised a doubtful eyebrow as he said this, "And you just happened to think I would be the best person to clear it up for you, un? Or was I somehow involved in this dream of yours?"

"...yes," Sasori admitted reluctantly, "You were, actually."

"Do tell," Deidara murmured. On his defense, he did seem honestly curious to hear about it.

An uncertain 'um' escaped Sasori's mouth as he struggled to put into words everything or at least most that had happened in his dream… or dreams.

"Well, it was…" he started, then stopping again. "It's…." He sighed, taking a step towards Deidara. "Do you happen to have something you keep in your… shoe?"

"In my shoe?" Deidara repeated, seeming both curious and amused now. "You're really asking me that, un?"

"Yes," Sasori confirmed gruffly before giving himself the chance to change his mind about this. "It may sound stupid, but I just thought that-"

His sentence and thought were both cut short as the blonde before him jumped down from the peg he had been sitting on, his hand going to his shoe.

"You mean this, un?" Deidara asked, tugging a silver knife from his left shoe and holding it up for the redhead to see.

Suddenly feeling his throat run dry, Sasori nodded numbly.

"It's because..." Deidara trailed off, almost like he didn't know what he was going to say. Had he never explained it to anyone before this? "Because it's not necessarily safe to live on the streets, un. That's why. Self-defense and whatnot, un."

Sasori still found himself rather unable to produce words. "Oh..." he murmured for the sake of saying something. "Have you ever... Killed anyone with it?" He wasn't even sure if he was expecting a no or a yes. And either way, he probably subconsciously expected what he didn't expect, because Deidara usually surprised him.

"No," Deidara responded with unwavering certainty, "I don't kill people. I cause wounds that can end up being fatal... But I don't kill people, un."

Maybe Sasori really knew nothing about life. Maybe he had always lived a fairytale... But he had never met someone whose morals had been that blurry and unclear, whilst still seeming rather sane and almost nice.

"Really...? What's the difference, then?"

"The difference?" Deidara repeated slowly, looking up at Sasori as if to prove that he wasn't doing this because it was _fun_ or because he got some strange kicks from doing it. As if to prove that he was serious and only doing this because he somehow _had to_. "The difference is that when I don't kill people, I can sleep at night, un."

This time, Sasori knew what he was expecting; _laughter_. Fond, cheery laughter that he had at some point heard spilling from the blonde's lips, accompanied by a careless grin and a statement of 'I was serious, you know, un.'

He didn't get any of it.

Deidara had probably seen whatever expression had been carved into Sasori's face as he said this, because he continued quietly, "In other words, I do what I have to, un. No more, no less."

"That's just... sick," Sasori commented. That was only one of the adjectives the words brought into his mind. Others included words such as _horrific_, _wrong_ and _insane_, but he didn't voice them aloud. He probably didn't need to.

Deidara frowned. "Life is sick like that. Do you think someone cares if I get into a horrible fight in the streets and end up losing an arm or two, un?"

"Well, I thought that..." Sasori started, uncertain of just _what_ he had thought. Deidara had made it more than clear a long while ago that no one cared.

"That world really would be fair?" Deidara supplied, "Well it's not. It never is, un. Not for us... less fortunate... ones..." he kept trailing off for the whole time while saying the last sentence, making Sasori wonder about just what it was that he was thinking about now. He had been wondering about this a while now, ever since the dream last night. Were those really Deidara's thoughts from that day? Could they be his thoughts, anyway?

"No, I didn't think that," the redhead suddenly said, rather certainly, "I thought that you wouldn't hurt anyone. That you _couldn't_ hurt anyone to begin with."

_Now_ Deidara seemed to find it appropriate for him to laugh, letting the sort of mock-happy sounds spill from his lips. "Really? Then how did you think I would still be alive? By running and hiding, un? _Been there, done that_. And it doesn't work, un."

Something about Deidara's laughter, his mocking smile and harsh word suddenly caused the frail line of Sasori's temper just _snap_ in two parts like a twig when it was being stepped on, and he found himself hissing unhappily.

"I'm tired of this," he said in a low voice, "Can't you just stop fucking piling all your problems on me and fucking throwing trick-questions and mysteries around when you have no intention to give me any answers."

Deidara didn't seem fazed by this, however. Maybe Sasori had wished to make him mad, because the sight of his indifferent stare made him that much angrier.

"Ask me, then. I'll answer, un."

"And you won't lie?" Sasori asked him skeptically.

The question seemed to go unheard, because the look on the clown's face twisted into a frown, his eyes widening and lip quivering as he looked at something behind Sasori. "_Fuck_," he swore, looking around for a fleeting, hasty second that seemed too short for him to really be thinking clearly before turning around and disappearing behind the corner of a nearby house.

The redhead spun around to stare at him, almost screeching 'What the fuck are you playing at?', but something about Deidara's eyes peeking around the corner stopped him.

Deidara looked so _afraid_. He looked like he could drop on his knees and scream _please please please help me_. He even mouthed it before disappearing from sight again.

Sasori turned to look at what it was that was behind him that had got Deidara so scared, and opened his mouth to let out a quiet "Oh." They were the ANBU; hunters under the orders of Hokage, hunting criminals and making them pay for their crimes, most of the time with their life, or worse.

"Mister!" one of them called for Sasori, "Can we have a second of your time?"

No one ever said no to that, because even if you hadn't done anything bad, the ANBU was frightening just because of their presence and the masks they wore to cover their faces from the public. "Why of course. What seems to be the problem?"

The man scrambled something from his pockets. "We are searching for several people, one of them having been spotted around here not too long ago. Do you happen to know about the whereabouts of this-" he handed Sasori a crumbled picture. It was kind of old, clearly having suffered several harsh conditions in the man's pocket, but the person was still recognizable. Blonde, dirty and unkempt hair, worn-out clothes that were too big for him and a sad, scared frown.

_Deidara_.

It didn't take Sasori even a second to consider his answer as he handed the picture back to the man. There just _was _no other choice than this.

"I'm afraid I can't recognize this person," Sasori said with a apologetic smile. "Would you mind giving me her name? I could ask around if anyone else knows anything."

"That would be very kind of you... And his name is Deidara," the man responded, "Deidara of Iwagakure. He rarely associates himself with his country, however."

Sasori nodded. "I'll be on the lookout, then."

He waited for a few minutes, pretending to walk away and then coming back when he was certain that the men had left. "Deidara?" he called for the blonde. Since he didn't get a response, he continued afterwards, "They're gone, you can come out now."

A blue eye peeked from the corner, but Deidara quickly drew back to his hiding place.

Sasori sighed, walking to the clown and tugging at his arm. Deidara let out a squeak in response, whimpering like a cornered mouse, almost like he couldn't recognize that it was _Sasori_, and Sasori would not hurt him.

"They're gone. Calm down," Sasori tried to reassure him, only to have Deidara try to get free from his hold, seeming to be panicking.

Hesitantly, the Ace of Clubs wrapped his arms around the blonde. "Shhh. It's okay. They're gone now. There's nothing to be afraid of..." he murmured, wishing to soothe the blonde enough so that he could at least answer a simple question consisting solely of the word _why_.

"They... the-they..." Deidara whispered brokenly, fisting Sasori's coat as if he would disappear any moment now. "But you... _Why_?"

"Did you really think I would give you to the authorities without even asking you what is that you've done?" Sasori asked him. Okay, so he might've got mad at the blonde just a moment before, but that didn't mean that he in any way enjoyed seeing him so afraid or what was worse, _dead_.

"…I knew you weren't such a bad guy after all, un," Deidara whispered into Sasori's coat, snuggling a little closer to the redhead's body.

"You're clearly better now, so you can let go," Sasori hissed, sort of embarrassed to have even agreed to this in the first place.

"No. I like this…" Deidara said slowly, sighing, "Besides, I might have another breakdown if you let go of me, un."

"Then you'll have to explain what the hell that was about."

"…yeah," the clown agreed reluctantly, "I will… But can we go somewhere that's not out in the open, un? I don't feel too comfortable here anymore…"

"Of course." It had been a taboo to him before, but right now he couldn't really bother to care anymore, as he found himself saying, "We can go to my house."

"Thanks…" Deidara drew away, shaking Sasori's arms from his shoulders, causing the redhead to realize with slight embarrassment that regardless of what he had said before, he had been holding the blonde up until now.

Sasori nodded awkwardly, "Anytime..." and started leading Deidara to his petty excuse for a house. Then again, it was given that it was way better than what Deidara had, so he made no comment on how messy his house might be since he hadn't been expecting visitors (the only person beside himself to have ever been there was Hidan, and after waking up with a big rat crawling under the covers, he had sworn quite colorfully that he would never return) or used any of that usual polite talk.

Deidara looked around the house for a while, then turning to look at Sasori with a smiling face. "This is kind of nice. Goes to show that you're a great puppeteer, un."

The Ace wasn't sure which part about this 'goes to show' what a great puppeteer he was. Was it the fact that he had puppet parts scrambled around or that there were more than a few puppets eerily hanging from the ceiling and staring at them from the corners, but he still nodded. "Thank you. Now will you...?"

"Explain?" At Sasori's confirming nod, Deidara sighed. "I don't really know what to say, un. It's not a pretty story, and I'm not sure if you'll take it all too well..."

"Try me," Sasori muttered with a shrug, "I'll try my best to keep myself from burning you for being a witch."

"...Did you just try to make a joke, un?" the blonde asked him with a dubious look on his face.

"If you're trying to change the subject, then yes. Start from the beginning."

Deidara frowned. "I guess..."

* * *

><p>He was a son of a very wealthy man. They lived in a huge house with servants and all that, but his father was away a lot. His mother always said that his work took a lot of his time, even though he would've preferred being home with his family.<p>

His mother was very nice, however. She always managed to get some free time and play with him.

Life was very easy, and Deidara was happy. He didn't even know that life could be harsh. Little kids weren't supposed to know those things.

One night, he heard his mother and father talking. He had finally come back for a while long enough to actually find out that he had a son now.

"Two of Diamonds...Such a low rank?" he asked. He sounded upset, sort of... degrading. That wasn't nice of him.

"I don't care about his rank," she responded defensively, "He's my son no matter what." Son. That meant Deidara. She was talking about him with such a loving tone, and that made him very happy.

Sigh. "You're such a hopeless romantic. I didn't mean that in a bad way, it's just that..."

"I know what you meant."

Quiet moment.

"When are you leaving again?"

"Tomorrow."

"...Oh."

"I'm sorry. You know that if I could help it, I'd rather stay here with you and my son."

Shuffling shuffling shuffling of canvas against canvas. Kind of like the sound of Deidara's puffy pants. He liked those pants.

"No, you should go. It's important, what you do. Don't forget that it doesn't only give us a living, but also helps so many people."

"...thank you. For understanding."

He went to sleep after that, because there was less talking and more shuffling shuffling and weird sounds and stuff. One of the maids, Karin, had advised him that when he heard those sounds, he shouldn't bother people, so he wouldn't. He was a good boy.

The next day, Deidara's father left like he had said. His mother was sad, but tried to comfort Deidara instead of letting it show. She always put others before herself, like that.

"But he's... hulting you," Deidara murmured, staring at his mother. "When he leaves, you'le always so sad. I don't like it... un."

"He's not hurting me, Deidara dear," she responded as if from a habit. Maybe it was one... "It's better that he comes back for a while than doesn't come back at all."

"I guess... But I don't like him. He's a big meanie, un."

She chuckled fondly, raising her son into the air until their eyes met. "Your father is not a meanie, okay?"

Deidara was proud of himself then; he made her happy when his father only made her sad.

"Okay... Hey, can we make food togethel again, un?"

She smiled again. "Of course we can."

A lot of time had passed before his father came back for a longer while. Deidara was still convinced that he was evil, though recently, he had changed the adjective into 'molon', something he had heard a servant say. It sounded like such an adult-like word, and Deidara was a big boy now so he should use it.

Her mother had recently got new clothes for him; a classy-looking outfit that was red-and-black. It even had a cool hat, like the one in the book about the cool court jester who was poor but still always did his best to serve the king. In the end, the court jester got the crown from the evil king and ruled the whole world with all his friends.

It was his favorite book.

"I will be a court jestel someday too!" Deidara proudly announced to her mother one day, "Then I'll banish all morons and my fliends can lule with me, un!" By that time, he could pronounce the 'Deidarrrrrrrrrrra'-sound. Sometimes. He was still learning.

She giggled. "I can imagine. I'm sure you'd make a fine king, darling."

"Yes!"

It was a few weeks after that that his father came back. He raised Deidara into the air, grinning up at the male. "My boy has really grown up, hasn't he?"

Deidara frowned. "Molon."

It had taken a few days of convincing and pleading from his mother (and father, though his pleas did no good) before Deidara had stopped referring to his father as 'molon' or 'bastald' (another word he had learnt from that same servant, actually), and a few more before he started opening up to him and smiling and grinning when he was in the same room.

He was really nice, actually. He got Deidara sweets and played with him and asked him about the things he liked. But still, Deidara never forgot that he had made his mother sad and that he had never really been home up until now. He wasn't completely on the 'good guys'-list, but Deidara didn't tell him that.

One evening, the bandage on his cheek needed to be changed again. Deidara had ran into a knife, one that a clumsy servant had dropped, when he was little (he couldn't remember the incident, of course, but his mother told him that, and unlike his father, she was a good guy), and had had his cheek bandaged since. It was because the scar looked really bad and could even open again if it wasn't bandaged.

Deidara was running around the house, looking for his mommy. She and only she ever changed the bandage, because the scar was that bad. She had said that Karin might faint if she saw it! But she also said that Deidara was a brave boy since he never complained about the painful wound, and Deidara was proud of that. He never even felt the pain, really!

Either way, he was looking for his mother, but instead ran into his father. He said that he could help his little boy.

"But..." Deidara frowned, "Mummy is the only one who can do it. She said it's reaaaaaaaally bad! You'd faint like Karin, un!"

He just laughed. "I won't faint, I promise. Just let your daddy help you out, will you?"

Stepping back, the small boy shook his head slightly. "But mommy said that..."

"And daddy says this. Now let me help my little boy."

Deidara nodded.

How could he have known what he had just done?

* * *

><p>"...What happened?" Sasori demanded at Deidara's sudden silence.<p>

The blonde looked at him from his spot on Sasori's bed, shivering. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes."

Shakily, the blonde opened the knot of his shirt, pulling his hair free from it.

In the back of his mind, Sasori had always known. From the first time their eyes locked, Sasori had known that this blonde wasn't normal, that he was dangerous, different and deadly.

Even though he had somehow known all along, it didn't stop his throat from running dry when the blonde hesitantly opened his mouth ever so slightly, all the while moving the fringe on the left side of his face to display the other half of his face.

Even though he had known, it didn't stop him from wishing that he had been wrong all along.

On Deidara's left cheek, with black letters on the otherwise perfect, surprisingly pale skin, was the written the text 'JOKER'.

* * *

><p>Even if it doesn't seem like it, I do have an idea of what I'm doing. I do plan ahead and this is what I find best for the sake of the plot.<p>

Also, I hope you weren't expecting this to end just yet because eh... The original plot sort of kind of... beginsfromhereokay? Most of everything I had planned back when I started happens after this.

If you have something to say and even if you don't, do reviewwww. I love them; they keep me alive. :D

See you next Sunday, won't I?


	22. Listen

Hiya!

Ugh, I was sick for Thursday and Friday. That messed up my plans for reviewing and all. Sorryh~  
>I have a few reviews from last chapter unanswered as of now because of this, but I'll reply to them tonight. I swear.<p>

Either or, THANK YOU. You, right there. I love you. You're awesome. Hurrrrrrr.

And that's why I wrote a bit longer chapter. Just because I love you~ :D

**Words: **3,117 (as I said, just because~)  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>You can check back to chapter 12: _Forget_ for that. Plus a bit of blood and stuff. Normal.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Don't own.

Here goes, chapter 22: '_Listen'_

* * *

><p>Sasori didn't know what he should say to that. Of course, Deidara was well aware of what Sasori thought about Jokers. The redhead had never really bothered to hide his opinion, and he had never thought that he would once come to regret it this much.<p>

Deidara was currently just looking at him brokenly, his head tilted and his face wearing a miserable frown.

"I'm sorry," he whispered plainly. "I was just… I didn't know how to tell you and… I'm sorry, un."

"It's... okay," Sasori responded, "You knew that I wouldn't have taken it too well."

"It's not okay..." Deidara disagreed sadly, leaning back on the bed, "I still should've trusted you with all this ages ago, un."

The Ace of Clubs scoffed, leaning a little closer to fix the distance between them back to what it had been just a moment ago. "No, you shouldn't have. I prefer it this way, I swear. If you had told me before, I might have done something that might've not been all too... good."

Deidara just stared at him, nodding uncertainly. Though from his eyes (now that he could see both of them, though that wasn't necessarily what he had wanted after all), Sasori could recognize distrust. Deidara didn't believe him.

"I'm honest," Sasori reassured in a foolish attempt. It was about as effective as trying to save a drowning man from the middle of a fucking ocean when you couldn't even swim yourself.

The Joker nodded. "I know, un."

"Yet you don't trust me."

Another nod, though no words were exchanged this time.

Sasori wasn't sure anymore, which hurt more. That Deidara really couldn't find it in himself to trust him, or that the blonde obviously had no trouble admitting said fact, to both himself and Sasori.

"Go on with your story, then," the Ace huffed.

"...don't take it so personally. Can you really blame me, un?" Deidara asked him, frowning unhappily. "Almost everyone who has ever known has tried to kill me for my whole life, and then you try to tell me that it's _fine_ and that it's fine that I didn't tell you months ago, un?"

The Ace of Clubs looked away from him guiltily. "I never realized that Jokers... That you would..." he struggled to put into words the thought that he hadn't known that Jokers could be alright people such as the young man currently before him.

"I know."

* * *

><p>After that, Deidara fell back into his past, trying desperately to express such horror that Sasori had never even imagined possible.<p>

There was screaming, to begin with. Yelling. Hatred.

Deidara didn't know what he had done wrong. He didn't know why this had to happen. He didn't know what he had done to make his father hate him so much.

He called his son all kinds of horrible names. And he hit him.

Deidara hadn't been prepared to be _hit_, from all things that the man could have done, so the impact had sent him flying. In the end, his feeble body finally crashed against a mirror.

Sitting up as quickly as he, Deidara uncertainly moved his hand to his shoulder, tracing a line that really hurt to his back. This because those parts had taken most of the hit and because they felt funny when he touched them now. Not a good kind of funny, either, but the kind of funny that felt wrong and that wasn't good. His hand came back coated in red, with it dripping all over his clothes. He had seen that red before, and he remembered that it had brought several bad words with it. That meant the red couldn't be a good thing, either.

He scrambled up, his breath hitching as he turned around to face the full-body mirror, or at least what was left of it. It was covered in the red liquid, as was his hand, his arm, his hair, his clothes, the floor underneath his feet. Everything was red.

Not certain about what he should do now, Deidara ran. He ran like his life depended on it, but then again, who knew? Maybe his life did depend on this.

Running around a corner, he bumped into someone, warm arms wrapping around him, tenderly raising the small boy into the air. Of course, given what his father had just done to him, he all but screamed, trying to break free from the hold.

"Deidara, sweetheart, what happened? Shh, calm down, you'll hurt yourself more if you don't stop trashing..."

The mentioned boy hid his head in his mother's chest, relieved to find that no one was trying to hurt him now. His mother would never do that to him, he knew. "Fa-father, h-he-he... I'm solly, mommy, I think I broke the mirrol... Sorry... I didn't mean to do it, un."

She took a sharp breath. "Darling... Did your father do this to you? Tell me, was it him who hurt you?"

Looking up at her in a scared manner, he nodded. "Yes... Mommy, why did he do this, un?"

His mother set him back on the floor, ripping the sleeves from her pretty dress and quickly bandaging both his shoulder and cheek. She spoke to him while doing so. "Deidara, sweetheart, please listen to me."

He nodded, biting his lip because his shoulder really hurt right about now.

"You have to leave-"

"But I don't want to go, un!" Deidara cried frantically.

She petted his head softly. "You have to go, darling. The road we once took, the one that goes to town, you remember that, don't you?"

Hesitantly, he nodded.

"Take that road to town. From there on... Just get as far from home as you can. Don't ever come back here again. Home is not safe to-"

"But mommy-!"

"It's not safe here anymore. Don't show your left," she motioned at the direction, "side of your face to anyone. Don't mention your Card Mark to anyone, don't bring up Jokers in a conversation and don't draw attention to yourself. Okay?"

Back at the time, Deidara could hardly understand just _why_ he should do all these things, but his mother was so anxious that he didn't question it, only listening intently and nodding every now and then. "I'm scared..." he confessed in a defeated tone.

She nodded, ruffling his hair fondly. "You're a smart boy; I know you can do it."

Deidara's father let out another howling scream, and his mother hugged him once more. "Go," she whispered, pushing him away and watching as he scrambled out the door and ran. "I love you," she called as the door slammed close in his hurry.

"You too," Deidara whimpered as he ran away, tears stubbornly trying to cloud his vision.

The town wasn't too far, which was good when considering that he wasn't really in the condition to be running around, what with blood loss making him dizzy until he ended up fainting in the middle of a road.

* * *

><p>"That's it, un," Deidara murmured uncomfortably.<p>

"What do you mean, that's that?" Sasori asked him, "'Then I fainted... and that's it'?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, not today at least," Deidara clarified, "It was bad enough to remember that much, un."

"Oh..." Sasori muttered. That didn't sound like it was one of Deidara's fondest memories or anything, so of course it would be painful to talk about it. "Sorry. I didn't realize..."

"It's fine."

They were both quiet for a while, somewhere in between of trying to deal with the aftermath of Deidara's memories and thinking, 'what now?'. Sasori couldn't let him outside, could he? With any luck, the ANBU would still be there, and with any luck, someone might have even told them something about Deidara. Not good.

"Can I ask you three more questions? I'll stop bothering you after that, I promise."

Deidara blinked, apparently thinking about the possibilities of what Sasori could ask. He then nodded after a moment. "I guess. Only three, un."

"Did your mother die?"

"Her fate isn't a part of this story, un... My father really loved her, you know. And unlike myself, she was important to him. Really important. And I can't imagine that he would ever really hurt her, un."

"Can't you answer the question? What happened to her? Did she die because of you being a Joker?"

"Yes. She did, un," Deidara responded, not meeting his eyes. "Not on that day, and not because of anyone else. She died later, because of me."

Despite the burning need to question this father, Sasori held onto their deal and nodded. "Okay then... How old were you when this happened?"

The blonde held his fingers up before himself, counting for a moment. After doing the somewhat simple math, the blonde murmured quietly, "Five."

"Five?" Sasori replied inridiculously. That was just... sick.

"Five or four," Deidara confirmed, sitting up again, "Not older than that, un."

"I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault," the Joker replied casually, shrugging. Though his eyes betrayed some of the hurt he must've been feeling as they spoke.

"Still..." He sighed, wishing he could've done _something _to make it at least a little bit better for the blonde. "One more question, then... Did the crash on the mirror leave a scar?"

Deidara nodded, "Yeah." He motioned at his right shoulder with his left hand absently.

"...can I see it?"

"Does that count as a question?"

"I think I already ran out of those, so no."

The blonde chuckled in a sort of fake way, tugging his shirt (and the red undershirt that was apparently sewn together with it) down his shoulders, nodding his head slightly towards the scar.

Sasori sat next to him to actually see the jagged cut on the pale skin. It was... Well, it wasn't anything like the 'scars' he had seen on people who proudly presented them, saying they came from a fight, saying that they were am effort to protect something important to them, that they came from a matter of pride.

This was a scar from his friend's battle to stay alive when the whole world hated him for something he had absolutely no power over. This was a real scar that sealed a horrible wound. A wound that honestly looked like it hadn't been treated quite right.

The scar was jagged and uneven, stretching from the top of his shoulder to his back, going in a twisted line that had been ripped in some places and ending a little before Deidara's backbone. It was a faintly burning mix of red and purple and white and the colors in between.

"That's... awful," Sasori decided for the sake of saying something as he traced the scar with his fingers. Deidara groaned slightly, causing Sasori to quickly apologize in case touching the scar hurt the blonde of something of the sort.

"It didn't hurt," Deidara denied, "It just... feels strange, is all. And yes, it is pretty bad, I suppose. At one time I wished that I could have treated it better, prevented it from coming out quite that bad, un. But then again, I was a little kid. Hardly even knew what a scar was, un." He paused for a moment, as if contemplating on if he should say the next thing currently on his mind. He then reached his hand to faintly touch a spot on his back that he had apparently memorized by heart, one where the cut was ripped apart pretty badly. "I had to rip it open from here, back in the day. It inflamed, so I thought it would help... Though now I'm not sure if that was such a wise move either, un."

"Ouch," Sasori murmured, nodding in understanding. He had never got a bad wound, let alone an inflammation, but at least he was familiar with the concept if nothing else. "Ripping it open must've made it that much worse…"

"Yes," Deidara agreed, "But it healed… Eventually, anyways."

"Honestly though..." Sasori muttered, moving his fingers to the spot where Deidara's had just been, "I'm surprised you even lived through this."

"Thanks a lot..." Deidara murmured, rolling his eyes with a playful grin, "That wasn't even the worst I've been through, you know? It was just the worst I had been through when I turned six, un."

"...Do tell," the redhead tried, just because he wouldn't lose anything for asking about it.

The Joker laughed slightly, swatting Sasori's hand away in favour of getting his shirt back on properly. "Nope, we have a deal and I'm not changing my mind about this, un~"

Sasori faked a sigh, because really, he was just happy to see Deidara all giggles and grins again. "Fine. But in exchange, you have to promise that you'll stay, at least for tonight. Chances are that the ANBU is still out there, which in turn means that it's not safe for you to go out there."

"Ever so caring..." Deidara muttered, rolling his eyes slightly, "I'll stay if it's so important to you, un."

"Do you want my bed or...?"

"You can keep it, thanks. I'll just sleep right..." he lazily dropped himself onto the floor, "Here, un."

"If you insist..."

"I do."

After this, they awkwardly decided that it was actually kind of late and they could actually eat now and sleep right after that.

Altogether, it took around twenty minutes of cutting the meat (with Deidara staring it like he had never seen a piece of meat), eating and Deidara insisting on saying goodnight a couple of times until Sasori cave in and said it back instead of just grunting out 'yeah', until they were both settled contently in their 'beds'.

Sasori would've probably been more distressed if he _hadn't_ started dreaming about multiple Deidaras again that night. What with being around the blonde so long, the Joker had to be on the top of his mind right now.

* * *

><p>Most naturally, his dreams didn't let him down, and he found the red-and-black clothed (now it occurred to him that this seemed quite close to how Deidara had described his five-year old outfit) Deidara in a vast emptiness of soft white glow, smiling at him almost shyly.<p>

"I just came to say goodbye, un," he murmured quietly, "So here I am. Don't worry, though; I won't try to kill you this time. That would leave you a bad last memory of myself, after all... And Deidara wouldn't like that."

"...what do you mean, _goodbye_?" Sasori asked, frowning as he did so. This better not mean anything that goes beyond his overactive imagination...

"I mean, to say something along the lines 'it was nice knowing you, have a good rest of your life', un."

"Where are you going?"

"Away… I'm disappearing... I don't know, really." He shrugged, kicking at the ground in an absent manner. "I'm going back to Deidara's mind. It's where I belong, un."

"What?"

He sighed. "Sorry, I forgot. Deidara's been _thinking_ about telling you for a while, so I remembered it like he already had. Sorry, un. He has been using myself," he bowed slightly, "And the other me to influence your dreams. Kind of like telling you about things without having to really _tell_ you about them, un. But we're useless for now, so we're going back."

Sasori had to pause to think about this new information for a while. "Honestly... That made no sense. What do you mean, _influencing my dreams_? And about you being _useless_?"

"I mean that Deidara's put these dreams in your head. And we're useless because it's already too late now, un."

"Too lat-?"

"Goodbye, un," he cut in, waving at the redhead. The space under Sasori's feet just disappeared, and then he was falling. Again.

Of course, as usual, he fell right in front of the other Deidara, the one with the crow and the one who belonged in the misty town.

"Hi," he murmured, "I'm here to say goodbye too, un."

"I figured," Sasori replied offly, "And you don't happen to be planning on... I don't know, telling me something that makes sense?"

"I'll try. Because unlike _the other one_, I actually _like_ you. I'm trying my best because of that, you know..."

"Go ahead."

"Deidara's been trying to tell you things. Important things... Stuff you shouldn't look over just because you heard it in a dream, un. But to me, it seems like you're not even trying... Why don't you ask Deidara when you wake up, un? He could help you..."

"This doesn't make any sense..." Sasori complained, "If you're a part of Deidara's imagination, then why are you telling me to ask _him_? Can't I just ask you?"

"No," he disagreed, shaking his head, "Because while these dreams are planned by Deidara, your words and actions affect them. We work on his will up to a certain point, but from there we do what we want to. I do want to tell you what his motives are and what he's after, but he would never let me do it, because he wants you to hear it from him."

"Can you at least tell me what the difference between you and him and Deidara is?" Sasori half-pleaded, desperate to make some sense into all this.

"I suppose..." he shrugged, "Watch closely; you won't me getting a redo if you miss something." The blonde snapped his fingers, drawing a white bird to him. A pigeon or whatever.

The bird circled around him until he reached out his hand; that's when the bird obediently landed on it. "What separates me and Deidara from _him_..." he murmured, bringing his free hand over the bird, "...is this, un." He pulled his hand back, and the bird turned into a huge, black crow that flew away as he snapped his fingers again.

"But what does that have to-" Sasori started. What did a pigeon turning into a crow supposedly explain?

"Sorry, time's up." Deidara smiled sweetly as the dream faded away. "Goodbye~"

Waking up in the morning, Sasori found that _someone_ had beaten him to it; there was a spot on his feet with the blankets crumbled up, indicating that _something _had been there not too long ago.

He lazily scrambled up, leaving to look around the small house for the blonde when something stopped him.

Small, white drops were peppered on the ground, falling lazily from the skies and covering everything under a small, white blanket of _snow_.

Shit.

_"When do you think you'll be leaving?"_

_The blonde stray shrugged. "I don't know. When it starts snowing, if not earlier, un. Can't really survive in the cold in these…" He tugged at his sleeve on the last sentence._

_"I understand," Sasori agreed quietly.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Trust me when I say that I didn't get any strange, sadistic pleasure from Deidara getting himself hurt. Actually, it was quite painful. I have too much empathy for these things sometimes...<p>

But I do enjoy the mental image of Sasori tracing Deidara's scar... *sigh*

Well, either or, hope you liked. Do leave a review on your way out.

See you on next Sunday...?


	23. Leave

Well, I wrote this A/N once, it deleted itself. I love you too, fanfic net~

Hiya~

I love you~ :D I really, really do. So don't you dare think I don't because I would do something very drastic if something happened to you. I'm too tired to decide on the 'drastic' just yet, but I will when I'm awake. Oh, _I will..._  
>I have four tests this week (don't expect to see me online, by the way), but here I am at midnight, writing happily because I'm doing it for people who are really important to me... <em>you<em>.

**Words:** 2,251 (with a whipping 200 my Word didn't have. If something dublicated, I do not take the blame, it's fanfic net because it loves me...)  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>23 weeks down, I still don't own. Magical.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Meh, swearing. The works.

Here goes, chapter 23, _'Leave'._

* * *

><p>No one could really <em>blame <em>Sasori for the few moments during which he cursed the blonde Joker rather colorfully, checking the corners of his house _just in case._

"He could've at least left a fucking note, for Deity's sake…"

After voicing that thought aloud was when he conveniently recalled that _oh right_, Deidara couldn't write. No wonder he hadn't, then. Sasori should've taught him that much, at least. He might not get to

On top of not knowing how to write, the odds were that it had been a long time since anyone had really admitted to care (Sasori hadn't admitted the fact, either. He had merely wished it was clear by now) about the blonde's whereabouts and whatever he was doing at any given time. Sasori wouldn't have adjusted too easily if someone suddenly cared, either.

It wasn't more than fifteen minutes before he left his relatively warm house in favor of finding a blonde from the endless blanket of snow that had situated itself outside his house at some point during the time he had been sleeping, completely oblivious to what he would discover in the morning.

He didn't care to pretend to be going outside _just because_, instead opting to find the blonde's usual spot as quickly as he could in hopes that the blonde would still be there.

Sasori found himself _almost_ lost for words when he did find the blonde, sitting on his beg with a mostly eaten, chep-looking sandwich, blowing into his hands for a little bit of warmth. He was still wearing his usual clothes, too, and even though he had had the decency to tug his hat on top of his head, Sasori could help thinking that he really was _insane_. Didn't he have the slightest sense of self-preservation?

Deidara glanced at the redhead from underneath his (surprisingly long) lashes, murmuring softly, "Sorry for disappearing on you. I wanted to get a few things done before leaving and... I didn't want to wake you up, un."

"Have you been putting some strange dreams in my head?" He wasn't certain what he had been supposed to say, but it certainly wasn't _that_.

A nod.

"_Why_?"

"I wanted to tell you things. Without telling you them. And I wanted to give you a chance to change your mind, un. I tried telling you to stay away... I tried telling you that I could kill you, un. I didn't want to... I..." he didn't look at Sasori as he spoke, instead staring at the ground below him.

"Why would you kill me?" Sasori asked him, sort of bewildered.

"I- I have to go. It's really cold, un..." Deidara murmured, hopping down, his back flying after him and thudding against his back.

"Don't go." He grabbed hold of the blonde's wrist, tugging him back.

The Joker tilted his head, looking like Sasori had just spoken some foreign language to him. "Huh?"

"Tell me first. Then you can go."

Sasori probably imagined it, but before the blonde looked away from him again, he seemed almost... Hurt?

"No. I don't want to, un. I really do have to go... Need to find a place to stay before sunset and..."

Hesitantly, Sasori let him go.

"I'll be in town for half an hour more. Then I'll come back here and say goodbye to this place, un. Odds are that I won't be back, after all..."

"So... You're saying we won't see each other again, either?"

He nodded slightly, kicking at the snow with his shoe. "Unless fate has it and we ran into each other somewhere sometime..."

"Unless you drop dead before that." Honestly, that wasn't what he was supposed to say, either. He was supposed to say something _nice_, like _I'll miss yo_u or _Are you sure about going? You could always get a change of clothes or something…_. Something that wouldn't hurt the other, but would make him grin and hug the redhead instead.

"Yeah… Unless I drop dead before that, un," Deidara agreed, lacking the spite Sasori would've expected to hear. It was like he knew and accepted the fact that that might happen.

"…I didn't mean to say that."

"I know you didn't. You do that kind of often. Besides, while you're kind of mean and sarcastic and don't really know anything and you're always quiet and sort of dull…" Sasori didn't even consider shutting him up. He deserved this much.

"…you're also really not that bad once one gets to know you, un!" Deidara finished his sentence, hugging Sasori with a pleased grin on his lips.

With much less enthusiasm, Sasori wrapped one arm around the blonde's neck, tugging him downwards a bit. "You're not _that _horrible, either."

That was when he first noticed that Deidara's cheeks were tinted a warm red. He really must've been cold…

"I thought you were in hurry to leave?"

"I am, I am," Deidara muttered, his breath touching the shorter man's forehead. "I just wanted a more proper goodbye with you, un. You're really nice."

"Now you've had it, so will you get going already?" Sasori was pushing the blonde away and he knew it too, but he didn't want to get all emotional over the brat's departure. It just wasn't like him.

Deidara laughed softly, pressing his (surprisingly cold) lips to Sasori's cheek, murmuring 'there you go,' while doing so. He then straightened himself as much as the shorter man's arm around his neck would allow. "Yeah. Goodbye, un~"

He released Sasori, sidestepping enough to get the Ace's arm off of himself, and grinned faintly as he disappeared around a corner.

Sasori stared after him for a while before it occurred to him that that was it. Deidara was _gone_ now. That was a _goodbye_.

It was still snowing, small flakes falling softly to the ground, piling on top of each other to hide the ground, as he made his way to Sai's little corner shoppe, figuring that he could as well go ahead and return to his usual day routine now.

The door (or the little bell above it) jingled happily, and it suddenly made Sasori think how much he really hated that sound. There was just something about it...

"Welcome, Sasori-san," Sai murmured in greeting, "I don't think I have ever seen you up and around so early in the morning, before this very day. May I ask you about the reason for this sudden change of heart on your part?"

Sasori shrugged slightly. "Came to see a friend off... I figured I could as well find a yellow paint while I'm here."

"A friend?" Sai repeated curiously, "This 'friend' wouldn't happen to be the young, blonde-haired man who popped by half an hour ago?"

"Did he, now?" the Ace of Clubs asked him. The idea of Sai and Deidara spending some quality time in the small store was somewhat displeasing, to say the least...

"Yes," Sai responded, apparently taking Sasori's hint that he wanted to know more about the visit in question as he soon continued with his hand lazily sketching on a piece of paper he wasn't even looking at, "A rather nice person, happily bouncing about the store before confessing that he could probably never afford anything up for sale here. He also asked about the date. I think he asked about the date last time, as we-"

"Last time?"

The black-haired Club nodded. "It was... Last week, I think. He asked about the date, stared at the calendar almost like he didn't understand it. Oh, and he also mentioned something about yourself earlier today, if I remember right..."

"And what would that be?"

"Were you going to buy that paint?"

Taking the hint, Sasori nodded, admittedly with a scowl on his face. He had known there was a reason why he didn't like Sai… "A light golden shade, if you will. Now what were we talking about, again...?"

Sai nodded, seeming pleased with himself to say the least. "Your blonde mentioned that_ Sasori no danna_-" he said the nickname with emphasis, like it was meaningful somehow._ "-_would be the only one who would miss him when did leave. Then he smiled fondly and remarked that he wasn't really even bothered by the fact. That you were more than he deserved... I must confess that I hardly understand what he meant by that, though."

"Why are you telling me this?" Sasori sneered, dropping his usual _we get along_-facade in favor of getting an answer to his question, "And don't give me that _you wanted to know_-bullshit either. You don't care about what I want."

Sai shrugged ever so slightly. "I wanted to see what you would do. You said you had _seen him off_, so it would be likely that he had left, for whatever reason. I wanted to see if you'd try and change things if I told you… Besides, you haven't been too awful to be around lately. I think he's a good influence on you, and I hardly mind that."

"Try and change things?" he repeated dully, "How do you suppose I would do that?"

"Do you really think you've done everything you could to make him stay?" Sai asked, mostly rhetorical, "Have you chained him up and threatened him with a knife if you really wanted him to reconsider this?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Have you even told him that you might actually prefer it if he didn't leave?"

This question drew an awaiting, awkward silence on top of them, and Sasori slowly took a few coins from his pocket, glad he had had the decency to put on a jacket in his morning hurry, at least. "It doesn't matter now. He left."

"He should still be there if you go now." Sai disagreed. "The question is, do you want him to stay or not?"

"...Thanks for the paint," the puppeteer muttered, taking his paint and leaving without waiting for Sai to count his appropriate change.

Outside of the store, the snow continued to fall, and the wind had started to blow a little as well, making the air that much chillier. It really was cold, especially in clothes like Deidara's. Sasori would have to find him before he set off for good. At least then he would've _tried_ to make him stay.

"_Brat_," he muttered aloud, "It's useless to leave now, when it's already this cold. You're just going to freeze yourself in this weather. Die from some silly illness..." He looked around the small opening where the blonde had spent so much time in lately, not catching a sight of blonde hair or red-ish shoes or even a glimpse of yellow. "It's one thing to die from the Black Death or something of the sort. Those things can't be helped. But this..."

"Are you done ranting?" Deidara's voice asked him amusedly, "I was actually thinking of finding a place to stay at right outside of town. I figured I could stay there until the weather became a little more tolerable, un..."

When Sasori turned around, the blonde was standing right in front of him, shoes and bag and blonde hair and all that.

"Don't go."

He scowled. "I am not going to tell you why I would kill you. I already told you; I don't want to talk about it, un." His tone was rather final, but that didn't even matter because _that wasn't what Sasori had meant-!_

"No, I mean... Don't go. I'm sorry I couldn't have said that earlier, when you first mentioned _leaving_, or even earlier today. It didn't sound so real, back then..."

Deidara's face softened slightly, though he crossed his arms across his chest. "What do you want me to do? It _cold_ out here, in the streets. I'd be dead in a week, un."

Point taken.

"My house is warm," he muttered before he himself had connected the words to their meaning, "It's got space, too. You can even sleep on my feet again and I swear I won't be mad. You can borrow my jacket; I should have another one somewhere and..."

The blonde Joker was just staring at him dully by now. Sasori couldn't understand the look, but he figured that it couldn't hurt to say one more thing. Then he could at least say that he had _tried_.

"You could stay with me."

* * *

><p>I was going to write longer, but I found that <em>delicious<em> cliff-hanger and those horrid number on my computer clock and thought - I don't even know what I thought. Probably '_Cliff-hanger, I adore you so help me I should've been sleeping long ago~'_

...Yeah. If you liked, if you didn't, if you wanted to help me survive through an awful test week and ensure that there will be a next chapter... I would love a review. :)

See you next Sunday~ (It'll be Mother's Day! Say hi to your mum for me~)


	24. Victim

Hi~

My tests and such at school are over now~ Good luck with anyone who still has them! I'll be cheering for you!

I still love you guys who read slash review slash favorite slash alert. You rock~!  
>(But since I had an insanely busy week, I still have a few reviews unanswered. I will reply, though. I so will.)<p>

**Words:** 2,732  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own.  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Swearing, the works~

Here you are, chapter 24; _'Victim'_. It has two (2!) companion chapters that match it slightly in both name and content... Go find one, because the other doesn't exist yet~!

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><p>Deidara just had this blank stare on his face for a while after Sasori's words, until he meekly murmured a quiet, "Really?"<p>

Sasori merely nodded, thinking he had said everything there was for him to say.

The blonde took another step towards Sasori, even though they were already face to face, and looked into his eyes intently, as if to see if the Ace was playing a very cruel joke on him.

Sasori wanted to draw back from the situation, but found himself unable to do just that. Instead he settled with shifting his weight and staring back at the clown.

"Say something."

Deidara didn't. He just wrapped his arms around the redhead like a child that hadn't been loved enough (and when the thought crossed Sasori's mind, another followed, _maybe that was indeed the case_), tugging him close, closer, and still a little bit closer before burying his face in the mass of red hair.

"...you have got to be joking. You aren't this nice, un," Deidara murmured, "There's some freaky ulterior motive to why you would do this..."

The puppeteer knew full well that Deidara was currently talking to himself, but that didn't stop him from insisting, "I don't have another reason to do this..."

However, his voice trailed off when he realized that the Joker was kind of right. It was true that Sasori wanted _to be nice_, because Deidara sure as hell deserved that much and needed that much, but for the other part...

He wanted the blonde to stay because he wanted to hear more about his past.

He wanted to get to know Deidara well enough to say that _no one_ knew him better.

He wanted to keep the Joker there so that they could spend time together.

He wanted to keep Deidara there because Sasori couldn't deny liking his company.

"You have to stay."

"No I don't," Deidara disagreed quickly, "The snowing is stopping and-"

"No it's not." Not that he knew at all, he just said that because there was nothing else he could say. "It'll be a full-blown snowstorm within hours."

"I'll live. It's just _snow_, un." There was an unspoken _I've been through worse_ that followed his words, but neither of them addressed it.

"What about the ANBU?"

The blonde Joker shrugged dismissedly. "...I've handled it for over ten years now, haven't I, un?"

Taking note of the vague mention of the time, Sasori raised an eyebrow. "With more reason; your luck can't last forever."

"It's not luck, it's skill," Deidara insisted.

"Hiding and running is not a skill-based capability."

"You want me to stay. Admit it, un."

"I want you to stay," Sasori said without a second thought.

Deidara cocked his head at this, smiling slightly. "Fine, whatever... Let's go _home_, un."

A matching smile crawling on his face, Sasori started leading the way.

The walk was quiet; they could always talk inside, and with any luck, they would have a lot of time for that as well.

Deidara took up to looking around Sasori's house more properly, now that he knew he would be spending a while there, even though Sasori was fairly certain that their ideas of a _while_ did not match all that well - Deidara's was something along the lines of _until the storm passes_ or something like _until the weather becomes a bit better_, while Sasori wanted it to be from _a year or two_ up to _forever_. He did not want the Joker to die from something as stupid as the ANBU catching him.

He didn't want the Joker to die at all, actually.

But he reasoned that he could always make the blonde-haired clown see things his way later, at some point of time before the blonde even had the time to consider leaving but _not right now_.

After he was apparently content with his knowledge of the small house, Deidara sat on the floor before Sasori, who had sat himself on his bed. Apparently Deidara found it reasonable to sit where he was now, and the puppeteer wasn't in the mood to start arguing with him.

"So, do you want to hear something about my past?" Deidara asked his companion, explaining it by saying, "I feel like I owe you that much, un."

Sasori shrugged slightly. "You don't really have to do that, but if you wanted to, you could tell me about Hidan. How did you meet him?"

"Jealous?" Deidara asked with a faint grin and a raised eyebrow. "It's nothing too interesting, really, un..."

"Still, I want to know about it," the shorter man insisted.

"If you're so sure..." Deidara muttered, starting to recollect the time they were talking about.

* * *

><p>He hadn't wanted it.<p>

Not in the slightest!

He had finally had _a home_, one that didn't hate him, and-

* * *

><p>"Wait, is there something I should know before this?" Sasori interrupted, a bit confused at least.<p>

The blonde scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, there is a year or so that explains this... It was when I was rescued from the streets and joined the-"

"Okay, whatever. Tell me about that year first and then about Hidan. We have time."

Deidara nodded, obediently starting another story.

* * *

><p>He had been on the streets for a while - like, five years now, without the time he had spent with her? - now, and he had learned what to do and what <em>not<em> to do. He knew what he could get a bit of money for and what would just earn him a black eye or another scar.

Maybe that was why he had noticed him, because he was young (very young too young way too young), but was capable of taking care of himself (had to be).

He had taken Deidara away from there. He had given Deidara a home, and he hadn't even known his Card Mark, back at the time!

"A circus," he told little Deidara, "Do you know what that is?"

"I've the word..." the blonde murmured, "But I'm not sure what it is, un." He sighed; it was awful when he had to admit someone that he had _absolutely no idea_ of something.

He nodded, "I'm the leader of a circus. We're a family, there, and I think you have what it takes to be a part of our family."

"For really?"

Back at the time, Deidara had still had that childish innocence to him. He had been in the real world for years, but kindness had been beyond him practically all that time. So when he was shown kindness, he didn't really know what to do.

He chuckled. "Yes. We've been needing a talented little boy like you for a while now."

"I'm not little, un!"

"Of course you aren't," he agreed quickly. "So, will you do it?"

"...yea."

It was weird - they didn't ask questions. They didn't want to know about his past, family, not even about his Card Mark. They just let it all slide, like that. Deidara couldn't claim that he wasn't glad to avoid all those questions, yet he could hardly believe it.

"This is our new recruit," he (who everyone addressed as _Third_, even though his name was apparently Sarutobi) told the people there. They were strange-looking people, all of them, but Deidara had already supposed that circus-people would look weird.

"You're going to take care of him… Tayuya."

"What?" the girl screeched, "This little bitch? Fuck no!"

Deidara stepped back a bit, hiding behind Sarutobi; this girl was really scary…

"Language, Tayuya… And yes, you will. He's your responsibility, and I trust you will do what it takes to take good care of him."

Sarutobi probably didn't notice the way Tayuya looked at the little boy, downright glaring at him in a way that said _this is your fault, and I so will make your life miserable for this._

Deidara nodded meekly to the unspoken threat, merely greeting the girl and murmuring his name without making another eye contact.

They were very, very, very awkward for the first few days. Deidara would ask her something he had no way of knowing and Tayuya would latch out on him.

Other people were starting to notice it then, as well. Fū, who was a really strange girl with light blue hair and orange eyes, who acted as an acrobat, scolded Tayuya for it, and Fū along with her fellow acrobat, a brunette named Rin, promptly locked the two of them in Deidara's room until they got their issues sorted.

Tayuya used many words to swear at the small blonde, all the while screeching at her friends to open the _fucking_ door because it was _not fucking fun_.

Deidara merely sat on his blanket, which he had spread over the floor as a bed of sorts. He didn't want to make things any worse - she already hated him far too much as it was.

"I'm sorry, un."

The redhead whirled around. "You're such a-!" she cursed. "Why are you even here? You don't seem to be good for anything, you're just a little brat and... Why you?"

"I can too do things," Deidara insisted, "You just never stay to watch. Because you hate me, un."

"Really?" Tayuya scoffed degradingly (_he had seen enough degrading to recognize it by now_), "Then show me what you've got, brat."

Deidara nodded, determined. He could not fail, not now, not this, not when Tayuya was finally there and giving him the attention he had graved for a long while now.

He moved a few things out of his way to be able to perform a cartwheel, then walking a few steps on his hands before doing another cartwheel to the other direction. He stood on his feet for a contemplating second before doing on more cartwheel, landing on his hands gracefully and supporting his weight on his right arm, then left, then-

"Okay, okay, I got it," Tayuya hissed, "You're a fucking acrobat now that Fū's been teaching you. Good for you."

Deidara sat back down. "I just wanted you to notice me. To look at me, un... And I just..."

"I was a little quick to judge you," she agreed, "Tell me something about yourself and I'll make my assumption after that."

Since Third had said they were _family_, and that they would judge him (not even Tayuya), he tugged his overgrown hair from his face and pointed at the text on his cheek.

"My father hates me because of this. I had to leave home because he tried to hurt me, un," he said seriously.

Tayuya's eyes grew wide, then narrowed to slits right after. "Tried to hurt you how?"

"Threw me into a mirror. Chased after me. Mommy said I should go and I left, un..."

"...man, brat. I'm a bit..." She frowned. "Sorry. I didn't know you've had things that bad. I'm sorry I was such a..."

"Bitch," Deidara supplied as she trailed off, apparently looking for the appropriate word to describe herself with.

"Where did you learn that from?" Tayuya asked him, frowning even more. She had probably noticed how no one (with the exclusion of herself) ever said any bad words around Deidara. Deidara had noticed that as well.

"You called that, when we first met, un."

"Right... Well, I am sorry." She scratched the back of her head as she apologized. "I suppose I thought that a shitty life was my self-proclaimed right... Fuck, I didn't even know Jokers were real! I thought for sure that they'd be a messed-up fairytale!"

"I wish," Deidara agreed with a sigh.

Tayuya nodded in a 'I'm sorry you've had it rough'-sort of way. "Let's start over, brat? I'm Tayuya, from Otogakure, Nine of Clubs. I'm a magician."

"...you are?" It was only then that Deidara realized that he had never really seen Tayuya practice her thing.

The girl nodded again modestly, moving her hand to his hair and pulling a pigeon from his ponytail. "...you really need to start washing your hair, kid," she murmured as she moved her hand over the pigeon, and then it was just gone.

"That is so neat! You have _got_ to teach me that, un!" Deidara shouted gleefully. Tayuya really was a whole lot cooler than he had imagined...

She grinned slightly. "Sure thing. Now, what were we talking about, again...?"

It took the Joker a while until he remembered. "Oh! I'm Deidara, a Joker, from Iwa! And I do whatever I have to!"

Tayuya ruffled his fringe fondly, gaining a whine from the blonde. "That's a pretty neat introduction, brat."

And he knew then that they really could get along.

It took a month for them to actually become friends, and from that it took another week and a half until everyone at the circus had noticed that Deidara and Tayuya had done something to fix things between them.

Then again, it must've been rather obvious, from the way Tayuya suddenly took up to protecting Deidara like her little brother. While before she had been quick to scold him for the little things he did, now one couldn't even look at Deidara a little too long without receiving a freezing cold glare and a string of curses.

When Tayuya was asked about the reason for this sudden change, she would point at Fū and Rin, muttering, "Them." But there wouldn't be any malice behind her words, just a cold, strange little joke that everyone had become to know as her thing. It was Tayuya's way of dealing with difficult situations, after all.

Everything was working out great for Deidara. They really were a family. They were together and even though they knew about each others' pasts, they didn't care.

Deidara had a chance of learning magic with Tayuya, acrobatics with Fū and Rin and dealing with knives in the company of the scary Suigetsu. To the latter he had only agreed when Tayuya had said that if Suigetsu ever did anything to hurt him, she would cut off something. And since the tall man had seemed a bit disturbed by the threat, he never did anything to hurt the small blonde.

All in all, Deidara had learnt a lot of things that were really cool and useful, and he was really happy. But as fate had it, it wouldn't last.

It was after one of their shows that the ANBU came in. They apparently _knew _that there was a Joker in the circus, and they wanted to take Deidara with them.

Of course, none of them would have that. Tayuya protested very, very loudly, and promptly said that they could only take Deidara over her dead body.

In the end, there were just too many of them, and when they got knives at everyone's throats, Deidara was quick to agree to whatever it was that they wanted to do to him. Everyone, even Suigetsu, told him not to do it, but they were far too important for Deidara to put their lives at a risk like this.

Deidara said that he would be _fine, _they had taught him that well, after all, and with that he was taken away from his family.

* * *

><p>"...So you knew Tayuya?"<p>

"I tried to tell you that, but you were a bit too oblivious to understand…" Deidara sighed, drawing his knee up and resting his head on it. Sasori had prepared a bit of meat while he listened to Deidara, but the blonde had several issues when it came to eating something as expensive as _meat_ when he had just eaten it the day before. Sasori was still working on convincing him that being all bones and _bones _could not be healthy.

"And it didn't even cross your mind to mention that you were a magician, either?"

"Nope. You went all _magic is rubbish_when it was brought up, so…"

"Can you show me?" Sasori asked. He had become a lot more curious about the blonde, and he had even started taking note of it himself.

"What do you want me to do, un?" Deidara countered, "Haven't you seen enough when I've messed up with all your dreams lately?"

"I still don't understand that…" the puppeteer responded, frowning, "What would make you kill me even if you didn't wish to do so?"

The Joker shrugged, looking at the red-haired Ace surprisingly seriously. "If you really wish to know... I was assigned to kill you by the ANBU."

* * *

><p>Too much of a nice cliff-hanger to let it slide. Sorry...<p>

But hey, if you have a moment, a minute, something, throw me a couple of words by clicking the little blue button that looks neat now that it had a makeover. Come on, I know you want to try it~ I would appreciate it, too~

Either way, see you on next Sunday, riiiight?


	25. Memory

Hiya~

Yes, I have reviews unreplied, sorry. I'm too tired to do anything about it right now. I spent the weekend at an anime convention and I have 5 hours of sleeping time tonight and I'll still need to spend an hour or two finishing my drama class final assignment... which is due tom-today. Yay.

I still love you, though. *glomp*

Oh, and I changed my penname! You noticed? That's nice. Go google it if you're interested in what it means. :)

**Words:** 2,018  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Swearing... mentions violence blah blah.

Go ahead, chapter 25: _'Memory'_. It has a companion chapter out there (as in it exists out here, not only in my mind). Bring the names together and they'll make sense. :D

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><p>"You were <em>what<em>?" Sasori echoed in a disbelieving tone after the blonde's calm (a bit too calm, honestly. How could anyone say something like that so off-handedly?) words.

"I was assigned to kill you," Deidara repeated, looking away as if feeling guilty about this, which he probably was, "By the ANBU, un."

"But... why?" the redhead asked. He couldn't really remember having done anything bad enough to deserve being hunted down and getting killed for it.

"Because you're an Ace, Sasori."

This startled Sasori, probably because Deidara never really used his name, not when spoken so seriously at least. Not when spoken in a _try to understand, please_-sort of situation.

"That doesn't explain anything," he disagreed. Okay, so maybe it explained something (a lot), but he didn't wish to admit that him being an Ace actually made it okay for someone to come after him and try to kill him. Because it didn't, honestly.

"Yes it does, un. The Kages, some of them anyways, don't want any high rank like you taking over their position, un. That's why it's best to assign Jokers to kill them off. You can threaten a Joker easily, just say 'I'll kill you if you don't do it', and they'll do it or die. If they do end up dead, no one will miss them either way, un. It's a _win-win-win_ type of a situation."

Sasori stood up from his position. He just... Had to do something. Help somehow. Something. Anything. It wasn't fair to make anyone kill people, like this. And it definitely wasn't fair to make _Deidara_ kill anyone, like this...

"Have you killed anyone?" The thought suddenly crossed his head that Deidara might already have managed to kill one or two of the people he had been tasked with.

_"I don't kill people. I cause wounds that can end up being fatal... But I don't kill people, un."_

Deidara had said that, yes. But back then, they had only been talking about that _knife_ he carried (was this the real reason why he had it? So that he could kill off a few high-ranked people?). There had been no assassins involved in their discussion back then.

A shake of his head. "I have been assigned to deal with most of the high ranks of Suna, but I haven't killed any of them yet. That's why I knew you before we met, un."

"...because they gave you the general knowledge." Sasori finished for him, "The idea of who I am, so that you could use it to kill me when you found me." He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but it wasn't anything pleasant. Far from it. "But why Suna?"

"Oh. Well, that's sort of easily explained, un. I was in Kiri when they took me to the Kage. Mizukage, actually. And he is _cruel_. I'll tell you about that later, un. But anyway, since Suna and Kiri have an alliance, they help kill each others' high ranks."

"That's fucked up."

"I thought about that at some point, too. I've come to accept that I'll be killed for this sooner or later, un."

Sasori looked at the blonde, tilting his head in thought. "Really? You don't look like the kind of person who's accepted their fate of dying like that." He had never seen anyone who had _given up_ (because he had only really seen wealthy people and wealthy people didn't give up), but he had always imagined someone that completely hopeless to be more… miserable and such. More on the _might as well end it now_-side.

"What do you mean?" Deidara countered, tilting his head in response as well.

"You look too happy to be ready to die."

The Joker shrugged. "I think that when you know you'll die soon, you have to live every day that much better_. Make it count_, un."

He contemplated it, sitting down next to the blonde on the floor. The situation sort of made it feel like they were little kids playing in the sand, sitting near the ground together like that. Then again, his mother had taught him to come down on people's level (or go up to theirs, most of the time) when speaking to them, and it seemed quite appropriate right about now. "That's surprisingly deep from you."

"I've thought about it for five years or so. I may have lost count though, un."

"How old are you?" The question had been floating in his head for a while now, but he hadn't wanted to seem like he _thought_ about the blonde, so asking it out of the blue would've seemed weird.

Deidara picked his tongue out at the redhead. "Wouldn't you like to know, un. Well, I'm younger than you, mister 'it's my birthday in a few weeks', un."

Sasori didn't bother mentioning that he had conveniently forgotten about his birthday until it was mentioned just now.

"What use is my birthday if one wants to kill me?"

The clown shrugged. "I don't know. I memorized everything the first time I was given the information, since I couldn't read the scrolls I was given, un."

"May I ask, what else does _everything_ include?"

Another shrug. "Place of birth, last seen in, occupation, family, friends, personality, the works. I was given a lot of info to help kill you, un. I think the Aces are a real threat to them or something..."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Sasori sneered.

"It's supposed to be a fact, that's all, un."

"It's not like I wanted to be born an Ace..." One glance at Deidara, who was staring at him rather blankly, made him change his thought mid-sentence, "I mean, I've always liked the privileges being an Ace gives, but hearing that... I don't know. I wish I was a Five of Spades or something normal."

"Or a Five of Clubs. You're an artist, un."

"So are you."

Deidara looked away modestly. "Not really... I've never been able to try my hand at anything that doesn't have to do with staying alive, so I don't think I could really do anything, un."

"Well..." Sasori let a small smile crawl on his face. "There's no time like the present to find out, right?"

The other looked rather dumbfounded, though that was given from such a stray comment, so Sasori tugged a small box from the room in which he stored most of his puppets, unceremonially plopping it down before the blonde. "That's clay," he then announced, "It's stupid and I can hardly do shit with it and I hate it, so you can go ahead and try molding it. If you can explain a bit more about the whole assassin-deal while doing so, all the better."

Deidara nodded obediently, taking the clay in his hands and squeezing it a little before starting his story.

* * *

><p>"What are you going to do to me, un?" he asked distressedly. The walk had been long already, but now was the first moment when he didn't have a knife on his throat, giving him the courage needed to voice his thoughts.<p>

"We're taking you to lord Mizukage," one of the men said plainly, "And let him decide on your fate after that."

After this short conversation, none of his other questions were answered anymore. Deidara saw, or more like heard the man he had talked to get scolded rather loudly, as well.

"Well I'm fucking _sorry _if no one gave me the memo that I'm not supposed to talk to these people!" he defended himself, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Sense should tell you that much, you idiot!" said someone who Deidara guessed was the first man's boss or something of the sort. The circus artist couldn't really help it; he was mentally siding with the man who had talked to him. What was so bad about talking, anyway? It hadn't hurt anyone...

"Sense fucking didn't, now how's that fucking my fault?"

After that loud comment, everyone suddenly silenced (which would've been funny if the situation wasn't so serious) as Deidara was taken to the Mizukage.

The man in question looked _a little bit_different than what Deidara had thought. His mental image of a Kage had been a wise old man (or woman, of course) who was bald and short, but who still had still certain sense of authority to him. Kind of like Three, really...

But this man, _The Mizukage, _had roundish features to begin with, making him resemble a small child rather than a bald old man. For the other thing, his hair was disheveled, making him look much less formal than how one would except a _Kage_ to be, and for the third thing he was smiling slightly, as if to say _come here, I'm not going to hurt you_.

"Lord Mizukage," the circus artist whimpered, kneeling before the incredibly high-ranked man before him. Being right here, right now, felt impossibly strange to him.

"Deidara of Iwakagure," the man acknowledged lazily, yet in a tone that made it clear who was the boss here. Like everything else hadn't already screamed that... "It's a pleasure to have you join me."

Since he wasn't sure if he was allowed to speak beyond his first words, Deidara stayed quiet and in his position.

"I have heard from my subordinates of your... _rank_," he hissed the last word rather degradingly, which made the kneeling blonde wince on the inside. He probably would've winced on the outside as well, but he didn't dare even imagine doing something like that. Especially since he had been doing alright so far... "And I have come to the decision, along with the Kazekage, that you will be assigned a mission. A mission of a dangerous nature, this one. Which is why you are being assigned with it, actually. Should anything... unfortunate happen while you are performing this very task, very few people will be there to notice your slightly lengthened absence."

_In other words: fail, die and no one will even notice you're gone._

"Your task is to track down five high-ranked people of Sunagakure and make sure they don't threaten my position. The most important of these is a man named Sasori from the village of Aka in Sunagakure. He is an Ace of Clubs, and if you fail to bring him down..." the man made a quick _off with your head_-sort of motion, and even though Deidara had never seen it before, he understood it right away.

"W-what do you mean, _bring him down_, un?" Deidara repeated. He didn't want to interrupt the other, but... he needed to understand his task to be able to take care of whatever it was, right? Right?

"Kill him," the man clarified quickly, apparently tired of this facadé by now, "And then report back to me."

Deidara's eyes widened fearfully in response to the _k-word_. "But I can't just-!"

"I'm afraid you don't quite understand the seriousness of the situation currently in hand," the Mizukage interrupted him calmly, "If you fail this mission, I will have no other option but to make sure you are silenced... _permanently_."

* * *

><p>Well, I'm dead. Consider it a miracle that I made it to 2K. x.x''<br>If you wanted to do something nice for me since I saw all this trouble for you... Review?

Anyway, night. See you next Sunday?


	26. Countdown

Hiya!

I spent the weekend at **Laughmaker**'s house. It was beyond neat. *nods*

And um, last week of school for me starts now. I promise to write more when I'm free, as for now it's barely 2K and then sleepy time...

Then again, it's almost two AM now. I am sort of dedicated to this, aren't I?

About last chapter; **XxAmi . IzunexX** figured out the thingy behind the name. I'm proud of you~ So if someone wants to know, you could ask me... Or find that comment, haha.

Oh and thanks for reviewing, you guys! That's the one reason why I spend my night drinking Fanta (I would've fallen asleep hours ago without my extra amount of sugar, really) and wriiiiting. I love you~ :D

_And guess what!_ 52 weeks is a year, so 26 weeks is half a year, so 26 chapters, one chapter a week means **_half a_** _**year! **_Isn't that freaky...? o.o''

**Words:** 2,012  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own. I did write a poem the other day, though... /random  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> The usual thingies~

Here's chapter 26, _'Countdown'_!

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><p>Deidara must have seen it coming before Sasori even thought about it, because as soon as the word 'fuck' was out of Sasori's mouth, the blonde was up, fingers curled around his pathetic excuse for a bag as he shifted his weight.<p>

"Do you want me to leave?"

Sasori glared at him half-heartedly from the corner of his eye. "I recall stating that you will stay right here, and I plan on holding on to that. Besides, they don't necessarily know that you have found me… Do they?"

The utterly miserable look on Deidara's face made his answer all too clear before he even opened his mouth to whisper, "They do, un. They know _everything_."

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><p>Deidara was walking in the streets, ever so cautious. He had found out a few weeks back that the ANBU was onto him – <em>again<em>. It was borderline insane, how he could run and hide and _hide_, but they would always find him before long.

He would've left a long time ago (_a few weeks back_, actually), but he had his reasons for staying this time. Pretty good reasons, in his opinion.

In the end, he would probably be fine until a group of ANBUs caught him. One he could handle, maybe even two, but any more and he'd be dead for guaranteed.

He walked past a man who was probably in his early twenties. He had black, short hair and black clothes to go with it.

Deidara didn't pay him much mind until he called after the blonde, "Deidara Iwa, a Joker…. Are you?"

Eyes widening, the blonde turned back around to look at the black-haired man fearfully. Who was he?

"You are going to come inside and have a little chat with me, aren't you?" When Deidara didn't agree to this strange offer right away, he continued, "Either that, or _someone_just might find out about your rank… We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

And _that _was what made Deidara agree to it, in the end.

He took Deidara to a small art store, one that the blonde had passed by more than just once. It could've been a pleasant place, had the situation been a little different. In other words; the place would've been nice if the stranger wasn't threatening him all the while.

"What do you want from me?" Deidara asked the man before it suddenly occurred to him, "You an ANBU, aren't you, un?"

The man nodded with a pleasant smile. "I'm _Sai_, in your service."

"As in _paint, _un?" Deidara scoffed to hide his discomfort, "The ANBU couldn't have got you a better name, I suppose..."

"The origin of my name is none of your concern. I am merely interested in you taking down your target, namely, _Sasori Akasuna_."

"I'm working on the scorpion," Deidara lied easily, aware that Sai, being an ANBU, would have that much knowledge of the old language. The blonde was going to leave soon either way; doing that, he could flee before they got onto him and before he actually needed to kill the redhead male.

"Really?" Sai inquired blankly, "Because to me, it looked a little bit different when I saw you two in the market…" The wording made Deidara suspect that they weren't talking about just one incident or even two or three. No, the man had certainly been watching them for a longer while now.

"It's all a part of my plan," the Joker assured him, "Get them to trust you first, strike them down after, un."

"I trust you know what you're doing, because I have taken the liberty to pass the word to my faction that _Deidara Iwa _and _Sasori Akasuna _have been spotted in the same vicinity. Within a month, the latter better be dead or _you will be_."

"Within a month," Deidara assured him again, escaping the small shop as quickly as he could.

* * *

><p>For a while, the Joker didn't hear from the ANBU again, something he was grateful for, even though he was aware that it wouldn't last. As long as Sasori was alive, Deidara wouldn't be save anywhere for too long.<p>

And Deidara would not kill him. After all, Sasori had given him money, and after a while, Deidara had (as reluctantly as it was) found himself enjoying the older male's company. It would be inhuman to kill the only person he had considered a friend in a long while, especially when the other two were already more or less dead. He didn't care if he never saw Sasori again, but he had to know that the redhead was safe.

So came the day when Deidara told Sasori his Card Mark. The red-haired male took it way better than Deidara would've expected, but then again, he thought Deidara was just an innocent victim, while in reality, he was everything _but_.

When it snowed that night, the clown saw the perfect opportunity to run for it without Sasori questioning anything. Beside that, month was already over, and after seeing the ANBU corps the day before, it was hardly a choice to stay for a minute longer.

"Going so soon?" Sai asked him when he went to retrieve his bag from the alleyways.

"I am. What are you going to do about it, un?"

"You know the ANBU will find you," the man stated. It wasn't a question, or even anything of the sort. It was a mere statement, and they both knew that it was true.

"Yes, I do," Deidara sighed, "I'm merely trying to make it happen at a later point in time, un."

"Even though you are aware of how futile that will be?" Sai questioned, his face as emotionless and blank as ever, though his tone and words hinted a slight surprise. Deidara supposed that he just wasn't the kind of person to show what he thought or felt. Then again, he was an ANBU, so that was probably given.

"Even then," Deidara repeated, "I've known that this will happen for a long time, un. But you could still do one little thing for my sake if you wanted to make sure I take a good memory of you to my grave, un…"

"And how exactly would I do that?"

"Give me a chance to say Sasori goodbye. Give your faction the wrong directions, un. I'll make a run for it when I'm done and I won't seek you out for revenge in case I do stay alive."

Sai shrugged slightly. "That will hardly make any difference either way…"

"So you've got nothing to lose, un," Deidara decided with a court nod. "When they show up, tell them I headed east, fleeing towards the woods. Then when twenty minutes have passed, you can go after them and say you spotted me around here, un."

"You're either making this interesting for both of us or plotting something…" Sai deduced, "But it's not really anything I will need to worry about. I'll even try to convince Sasori to see you, should he come here."

"Thanks," Deidara murmured, bowing respectfully as he left, "I swear I'll make this up to you if you fail to kill me, un!"

* * *

><p>It took a moment of blank staring as Sasori's mind progressed this new information.<p>

"So when Sai talked me into coming to find you..."

"He was holding to his end of the bargain, un," Deidara finished the thought for him. "My end was to forgive him if I happened to live through this. I suppose that means that should we ever end up against each other in a fight, I will have to give it up, un. I do owe him that much for stalling the ANBU for so long..."

"The whole deal is fucked up. Everything about this is fucked up," Sasori swore, "That bastard. He knew all along..."

Deidara coughed a few words into his sleeve before nodding. "He's one of the ANBU who act all normal but that are actually watching your every movement. Those are the worst ones, un..."

"I really don't want to ask you this, but do you have even the slightest idea concerning what the hell you are going to do know?"

A shrug. "I thought I could either run away or let you kill me. That way they might think you're too strong and take a while coming up with a new strategy of getting you dead, un."

"You're not dying."

A raised eyebrow. "Oh, really? Then what's _your _idea, un?"

"I'm not sure, but it begins with you _staying right here_ like I originally planned. After that... I don't know. Hide here. They can't kill you if they don't find you, and if they could just kill me themselves, they wouldn't have Jokers do the dirty job in the first place."

"Hide here? Do you really think it's that easy, un?" Deidara scoffed mockingly (or was that bitterness, rather?), "If it was, why do you think I would've wasted over ten years _running and hiding_?"

"Because you didn't have a reason not to. But now I'm here and so are you. If you go, they'll find another Joker to finish the job you started, and if I go, they'll kill you for failing." He moved a bit closer to Deidara in order to make the taller male realize that he really was _serious_. "Either we both stay or we both leave."

Deidara's mouth opened a few times before he finally sighed in what was apparently defeat. "Okay. So we'll both stay here until they figure out that we're here. Great..." He suddenly seemed to recall something, because his eyes widened a bit. "Does Sai know where you live?"

Sasori shook his head, for once glad that he was as anti-social as he was. "No. I don't think too many people do, really..."

"All the better," Deidara decided, "Then it should take them that much longer before they come knocking on your door, un."

The Ace nodded in agreement, "All the better."

"So, what are you suggesting we do when they do find us here, un?" the Joker then asked. Apparently he just couldn't be content with everything going _fine_ just this once. Then again, after all he had been through, one could hardly blame him for being paranoid. Better safe than sorry, after all...

"I'm suggesting we make a run for it," Sasori muttered seriously, "What else? It's not like we can stay, it's not like we can fight them. Running is the only option, really, and-"

"Are you reasoning to me or yourself, un?" Deidara interrupted him almost amusedly. Sasori didn't find anything funny about his explanation, so he settled with scoffing and crossing his arms across his chest.

"You, of course. Why would I be talking to myself? I am not one of those people who find that somehow reasonable, honestly..."

"Again, you're babbling." the Joker interrupted again, rolling his eyes as he did so, "You don't have to explain it all, un. Just saying 'you' would've been enough."

"I am not babbling," he growled out, "I am just-"

Deidara stood up from his spot then, moving closer to Sasori. "Are you nervous?" he asked, his voice losing some of its amusement, it replacing with some sort of understanding that only managed to anger Sasori.

"It's not every fucking day you-"

"Don't be," the blonde told him, in an ordering tone of sorts, "If someone dies, it's going to be me, un. You don't deserve it."

_'But I don't want you to die, either. That's why I'm doing this'_

"I'll keep you safe," Deidara murmured. He was making Sasori feel like a little kid all over again, his mother telling him that the cut in his hand would heal alright as she carefully wrapped a bandage over it. "As long as you do the same for me, un. We can be partners... in crime. Or something. Whatever you want, un."

And despite how the situation was still _fucked up_, like he had said a while back, Sasori found himself smiling slightly at this remark.

"Partners," he agreed.

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><p>Drown in the somewhat fluff-like <em>thing<em>that covered this chapter. Hurrr.

And honestly, I thought you guys found Sai _a bit too nice_, so I figured I would twist the tables a bit again. :3

If you have time, a review would be beyond neat. Even one word to tell me what you think?

See you next week, the day after I graduate from school, as in Sunday~?


	27. Clay

Hi!

I got out of school yesterday... Was the best of my class (tied with this awesome friend of mine because she so deserved it) and got a medal because I'm apparently good at Swedish(?).

l I hope you know that it means FREEDOM!

Feel free to expect a one-shot or a few quite soon, since I'm working on a few things right now~ (self-inflicted prompts that include Mismatched, disease, Leaving and catacombs)

And oh, I've been working on a drawing of Trump Card!verse Deidara, partly because The Shadow Moon wanted to see that. Get this story up to 200 reviews and I shall get it up in the internet for you guys (and write a longer chapter, too!)~ :D

Thanks for reviewing, I absolutely adore you guys for that~ :D

**Words:** 2,158  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> *drumrolll* I don't own!  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Nothing much. Usual things.

Here's chapter 27, named _'Clay'_.

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><p>Three days.<p>

It took them a total of three days to develop an awkward routine of sorts, and even when they finally did, it all seemed nearly painfully forced.

Sasori would prepare their food - that was given because Deidara knew nothing about food. It wasn't far from a miracle that he had lived even this long. The first and most prominent issue was food, which he seemed to never eat, but there was also a little thing called _shelter_.

It took Deidara a while before he happened to mention that when he said he was living out in the streets, he really meant that he was _living out in the streets_.

"What do you mean?" he asked, tilting his head in a confused manner and all, when Sasori asked him about where the hell he had been sleeping for the time he had spent in the town. "I thought I told you before... _Streets_, of course. Where else, un?"

"You can't be serious..." Sasori started, almost knocking his chair over as he moved his foot a little too quickly. "That's suicide."

"Oh yeah?" Deidara challenged, apparently taking the remark a little too personally, "What would've not been suicide, then? Walking up to the ANBU and telling them _it was cold_, un?"

"You were bound to get sick, you do know that?" Sasori asked to avoid yet another mindless argument. They seemed to ran into those often, very often, too often, because their opinions rarely matched and neither of them were all too willing to agree with anything else.

"Sure, sure," Deidara agreed with a lazy eye-roll, "I'm living one day at a time, un."

That pretty much ended that conversation, but the idea of Deidara being barely alive had been etched somewhere in the back of the Ace's consciousness. And honestly, it had made him feel slightly uneasy. If the blonde died now, it would... it would be his fault, wouldn't it? They were _partners_, and they had to keep each other alive. It was given.

"Stop looking so gluuuum, un~" Deidara murmured, leaning across the table and poking Sasori in the nose, managing to get him back to the present moment. "Besides, I made you something, un!" He set a small clay bird on the table, motioning at it. Deidara had actually been working with clay ever since Sasori had given it to him, and Sasori was admittedly a little curious to see what he had made.

The sculpture bird had its wings spread a little, as if it was just about to land. It was clear that Deidara had spent time with each feather and each little detail, and watching it, the redheaded artist had the urge to reach out and touch the small bird.

Sasori had to admit to himself that it was a fine piece of art, yet aloud he only scoffed, "A bird? Think you might've made that for yourself rather than me..."

The blonde looked away. "Well, birds are one thing I can make, un. I figured you would appreciate it, even though it might not be your favorite, un..."

"Oh, so you were being _thoughtful_?" Sasori hissed. He wasn't really familiar with the concept of someone actually doing that to him, so he didn't know how to react to it. Apparently not like this though, judging by the scowl that entered Deidara's face soon enough after he had said that.

"Yes, I was, actually," he scoffed, seeming annoyed. "Leave it up to you to take it the wrong way, un." With that, he took his bird, apparently changing his mind about letting Sasori keep it, and took it with him as he disappeared to some distant corner of the house. Saying that, there were actually little to none of those in the small house... Yet Sasori didn't bother actually irritating the other any more, seeing as the blonde sure seemed determined to just get away.

Then again, maybe (just maybe), it was stupid in general to annoy someone when that someone had been only (apparently) trying to do something _nice_for you.

And when that someone would be sharing your home for a while.  
>...Not to mention when that someone was an assassin sent to kill you.<p>

Just maybe it wasn't all that smart, Sasori decided upon reaching this conclusion a while after (a while longer than it should've been, honestly). Just maybe he should try and get along with his partner in crime, if for nothing else, then for the fact that the blonde had a knife he could most likely use to kill the puppeteer in the dead of the night.

Even though he had decided that it hadn't been too smart to do what he had done, Sasori didn't really make any effort to fix it. Maybe it was another of those pride issues, maybe he didn't know what he should say, maybe he just felt it could wait.

In the end, it took the sound of something breaking and _crashing_before Sasori took a look at the Joker sitting on his bed, his feet crossed and frowning sort of sadly as he stared at the floor.

"What did you do to the bird?" was the first question that was out of Sasori mouth. His urge to touch the small, delicate piece of art hadn't disappeared, and he also wanted to take a better look at-

"It died," murmured the sculptor himself, gesturing towards the other corner of the room dismissedly, where lay a pile of, well, clay apparently. After looking at it for a while, Sasori could indeed make out a few of the fine details from what had been its wings.

_'Crash'_

He shook his head slightly, sighing as he looked back at his partner. "Why did you do that?"

A shrug, just as dismissing as the previous gesture was. "Art is fleeting, so I figured the bird could be that way as well, un."

"You're not making any sense," Sasori complained as he bent to collect the pieces of the bird, or whatever was left of it. "Art is eternal. Naturally." He really believed it; all around his house there were puppets, and while he could sell some (ever so reluctantly, but still), he could never actually _destroy_ them. Never.

"It's an opinion thing," the blonde insisted, his gaze seeming to follow Sasori's hands as they moved about. "I think it's better when things happen and then they're gone and people will actually miss them. That way they'll appreciate their beauty, un."

The Ace of Clubs shook his head again. "You're wrong," he said simply, "Besides, you can't just go around destroying things that are _mine_," he collected a piece of its wing (that was a wing, right?) and held it up for Deidara to see, "Even if you were to be right…. which you aren't."

"You didn't want it, un," Deidara pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest like a small child pouting.

"I never said that. You merely surprised me."

"Really?" The blonde smiled, slightly, but it wasn't a grin or a smirk or even a sad smile. It was a real smile. "...I'll make you a new one," he promised quickly, "If you want, un."

"You'd better," Sasori agreed, getting some more clay for the blonde and plopping down next to him. "While you're at it, you could tell me how you can operate that... thing."

He shrugged again, seeming a bit clueless himself. "It's about molding it with care… Slowly, steadily, carefully. It takes time, un."

"...No wonder I couldn't do it. I hate waiting," Sasori muttered boredly.

"So I've heard, un."

"Another of those things to help kill me?"

"I don't know. Might've been. Or maybe you told me, un. Maybe I just took note."

Sasori watched for a while as Deidara's hands molded the clay, then raising an eyebrow. "Wouldn't that be easier if you took your gloves off? You'll get them dirty, too..."

Deidara set the clay on his lap to examine his grey gloves that looked like they might have been white at some point. "Maybe..." he drawled, "But I don't take my gloves off. Period, un."

"Scars?" Sasori guessed. After the scar he had seen on Deidara's back, he wouldn't even be surprised to discover more of those.

"Something like that, un."

"You'll show me sometime, right?"

"I guess..." Deidara made a face at the thought. "It's nothing pretty, so I'd rather have it happen later. A lot later, un."

"Stop making me curious."

"You started it~" Deidara teased him lightly, poking the other on his nose. "And you never tell me about yourself. It's unfair, un."

"You never ask," he took a moment to think about what he would tell when asked. The stories Deidara told about his past were so vivid and _real_. What he had were mere hazy

memories and cut-off dialogues. The reason why Deidara was so great at telling stories and remembering things must have been the fact that he had strong emotions to remember them by. Namely, pain. That was an emotion, right? "Besides, it's nothing interesting, I promise."

Deidara nodded slowly, molding his clay again as he spoke. "Still, I want to hear about it, un."

"Well, I lived with my parents... No siblings. My parents weren't too rich, really. I guess they were almost poor... Some grand-grandparents or something of mine almost died from the Black Death because they were that poor, I think."

A 'hisss' coming out of his mouth, Deidara winced. "Ouch. I think it's been clear for a while now, but my parents were noble. So were their parents and grandparents and all... Noble blood since forever, un. Then they get a kid who turns out to be a Joker and who ruins everything..." The last part came out a lot more quietly, and only a little bitterly.

"It's not your fault," Sasori muttered, moving his fingers to Deidara's in a feeble attempt to offer him some comfort.

"I guess you're right..." the Joker murmured, resting his head on Sasori's shoulder, his hands stopping their movements, "I felt guilty for it for a long time when I was younger, though... I felt like my mother's death was my fault when I found out about it, un." He must have noticed that Sasori wanted to hear more, because he continued cheerily, "Well, enough about that. We were talking about you, weren't we, un?"

He made a face at that, but nodded regardless. "I lived a pretty normal life there..." he trailed off, searching for the right words, "I think you haven't really... Had the chance to experience that, but I suppose you can imagine it either way.

I left my home because I'm an Ace and it wasn't good enough or big enough or something. Then I met Hidan in Yukagure. He was pretty much the-"

"When did you meet Hidan?" Deidara interrupted him.

"Four years ago, I think..."

The blonde straightened himself, stopped working on the clay and started counting with his fingers. It looked like he was actually struggling with counting to four, and he was mouthing numbers while doing so.

"I met him before you did," he finally decided, "Four years ago as well, but before you did. I think..."

"Where? When?"

"I told you about it a few days ago," Deidara replied, "But if you don't know about his... background, it's not my place to tell you, un."

"What?" Sasori asked inridiculously, "You lost me there. What about his background?"

The Joker moved his finger before Sasori's mouth. "Shhhh," he murmured quietly.

The redhead grabbed his wrist and pulled the hand out of his face. "When do you ever tell me anything?" he complained in a hiss.

"Ask me and I'll tell." Deidara shrugged slightly, seeming a bit apologetic as he did. "I just don't share details on other people's lives, that's all, un."

"Anything?"

"Pretty much, un."

"How did your mother die?"

The blonde didn't even wince (he almost should have) as he replied, "I heard that she killed herself. Slowly but steadily starved herself to death because she thought I was dead, un."

Since he didn't have a good response to that (_'Oh, I'm sorry'_ sounded too forced in the situation), Sasori merely nodded and moved on to the next question.

"And… the grave?" He murmured, referring to the day they had visited the graveyard, and to the grave that had belonged to a Joker. Apparently he had been Deidara's friend, but his identity had never been cleared.

His partner glanced at him from his side, seeming slightly disinterested at first. But looking into his eyes, Sasori could see emotions raising their head beyond the calm surface. "What about the grave, un?"

"Whose was it?" Sasori clarified, honestly hoping this wouldn't be something he would regret later on.

Deidara stared at him, opening his mouth after a few seconds of thought. "It was _mine_, un," he murmured quietly.

* * *

><p>Someone here likes cliff-hangers~ shot You have to admit, they keep you on their toes, though... And make things interesting!

Well, I hope that if you liked this, or if you didn't like this, or if you had something neat to tell me or something random to say (LOLLIPOPS!), you could drop me a review. If you wanted to... They make my dayyyy~

See you next Sunday, ne?


	28. Warmth

HIYA!

I was at an anime convention this weekend (again?)! It was awesome beyond adjectives and I'm tired beyond imagination! YAY!

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUGHMAKER even though you're not reading this~ OwO~

And I'll reply to reviews after getting this chapter up. Because I figured chapter is more urgent than review replies? I hope I was right?

I love anyone who's reading this! *glomp, brofist and "-greeting~ :D*

I'm apologizing in advance for any possible typos and brain fails. I had a rough, fun weekend and it's currently 3:22 AM. I'll fix any errors in the morning and fix this up if it seems utterly horrible in any way.

**Words:** 2,779~  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own. SURPRISE!  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Hehehe.

Heeeere's chapter 28, '_Warmth'_

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><p>Rumors flew quickly, if you had an ear to listen with and a mouth to tell you about them - for the right price, naturally.<p>

So, as he was learning a little better with social skills, when he was fifteen, Deidara was able to find out what had happened to his family (namely, his mother) after he had been forced to leave his home.

Apparently, his "father" had either genuinely believed that he was dead or merely claimed so for his own convenience, because rumor had it that Deidara was _dead_ and that his mother had killed herself out of sorrow. Rumor also had it that the dead boy (the demonic, awful _Joker_ who _deserved to die_) had a grave. Nothing fancy, nowhere near. Rumor had it that the man (the brave _hero_ who had only done what should be done _for the sake of his family_) hadn't wanted to see the accursed grave ever again and had only got him one because it had been his wife's last wish, murmured on her death bed.

Deidara held his head low as he heard what the rumor had said, contemplating on what he should do about the grave.

It had been his mother's last wish... So he figured he should pay it a visit. For her sake. To respect her, because, unlike that bastard, Deidara had honestly loved her, and he knew it had been mutual (unlike with that bastard).

Unfortunately, the rumor didn't have the grave's location. Not even knowledge of the land it was located in.

But since Deidara really wanted to visit it, he knew exactly what he should do, no matter how repulsive the idea was to him.

"Your grave, huh..." Sasori muttered, taking in the story while he did so. "That's..."

"I know," Deidara murmured with a wistful nod, leaning back on the bed. "That's fucked up, having a grave when you're still alive, un. But it was _her_ wish, because she really thought I was dead. It was nice of her... Kind of, un."

"Well, continue."

"Continue what, un?"

"Your story. How did you find out the grave's location? If you almost killed someone to get them to tell you, I swear I'll-"

He shook his head slightly. "I would _never_. What I did was bad enough, anyway, un."

At sixteen, Deidara tugged his hair back in a messy ponytail, hoping that it would give him a certain look a maturity. Not like anyone cared, though. Not _here_, they didn't.

He tugged on different clothes, more plain and normal. He wasn't looking for attention, not today. Today, he was looking forward to _blending in_. Besides, those attention-worthy clothes of his had been made by _her_. He wouldn't degrade them like this.

He tugged his fringe in front of his eye just to be sure, because if he was recognized _now_, all of hell would be sure to break loose within _seconds_. He couldn't risk failing when he was already standing here, in this room.

Cleaning a bit of dust from the partly broken mirror, he tilted his head to see if the band-aid on his cheek was still there. Because honestly, one could _never_ be too sure when it came to that.

He had been working there for almost a week now (it was sickening to even think of, working in this filthy place where men came to drink, usually got a woman with a bit of money, and then she could be heard screaming within an hour from that), but he did what he did what he had to, since rumor had it that his "father" visited the place every Friday.

In the end, that, and only that (a little bit of money didn't hurt, of course, but it was a small, small amount for the danger it put him in) was the reason he was doing this. Why he was tugging his hair back, serving drinks and _tolerating_ all of this in the first place.

It didn't take too long that Friday night for the man to show up. He was different from how Deidara remembered him - bitterer, older, more tired and less lively. Less proud as well. He let his hair fall limply on his shoulders and his clothes looked like it had been days since they had been changed - let alone washed.

"How may I help you?" Deidara murmured, not too friendly but not too cold, which was an act on its own.

"Gemme some rom," he slurred as he sat in one of the stools.

"Certainly," he replied, bowing slightly, respectfully, as he left to get the order and bring it to him (making sure to get him _enough_, since he might need quite a bit before he became talkative). "Hey, are you not that rich noble living around here?" he murmured, careful with his habit of adding 'un' to pretty much everything, as the man chugged his drink down.

"Sure're. The place is-" he got himself another glassful as he spoke, "a dump nowaday'."

"Oh, really now?" Deidara murmured, sitting on the stool next to him, "How come?"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Arnnn't you supposed to be working?" Apparently he wasn't wasted enough just yet.. The younger man poured his father another drink before replying.

With the hand that was farther from the man, Deidara waved a few complicated hand-signs to his co-worker behind his back. Something like 'if you say something now, you're dead'.

When he was rather sure that his message had been understood, he laughed endeavouringly. "Nope, I'm on my break."

"Ah," he responded, chugging yet another drink. Deidara frowned, thinking of how many glasses this would take. The bastard had probably drunk enough to become almost immune to it... Almost. And as long as there was an almost, Deidara should keep going. "Then I take it you wanna drink, yorsef?"

He frowned on the inside. His body tolerated rom very badly (he had learned that after a night with two drinks followed by a morning full of vomiting), but if he denied a drink, it would surely raise suspicion...

He laughed again. "Mind if I do... Only one, though. I still have some work to do today, you see." He got another glass and poured himself some rom, circling his glass around a bit as he continued. "So... If I may ask, what exactly lead you to this?" he gestured the sleazy tavern, "Surely a man like you could afford something with a little more... class?"

"Surely you like it, seeing as you are working here?"

Shrug. "I like the money. And as for my question..."

"Helps me forget, this place."

"What is there a man like you would like to forget?" Deidara murmured, fighting back the urge to make a face upon tasting the rom on his tongue.

He didn't get an answer to his question until the older man had had a few more drinks, however.

"Mmmmwife gave birth to tis... tis monste'. I'was bad enoug' as i'was, but then she goes and drops 'ead on me after I get rid of 'im. Even makes me get 'im a grave!" he slurred angrily, swaying a bit as he did so.

"Oh," Deidara murmured understandingly, even though he felt everything but, "That's awful to hear. What an stupid bitch..." The words burned on his tongue even worse than the rom, but he convinced himself that it was necessary. It had to be this way. "So, did you get him that grave?"

"Don' I know that! I got 'im a grave al'ight, so fa' from here that I won' have to see it as long as I lllive..."

"How far?" he couldn't help asking.

He waved his hand offly to the distance. "Far. Very far... Off in Konoha. In this small 'own... Ifffound a s'ray heade' far and paid 'im to have 'im put the grave down some'ere like that..."

Deidara grinned. A little longer and he'd have the name of the place. He was doing good.

* * *

><p>Sasori watched the blonde snap out of his story and frowned. When did something <em>good<em> ever happen in the Joker's life? It wasn't fair, like everything bad was falling on him endlessly. When would it end? When he died...? That couldn't be right. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I think we've long since established that it really doesn't help..."

"Thanks for the nice thought," Deidara acknowledged, "But yeah, it's a word. Doesn't do much good, un."

The redhead nodded feebly in agreement, moving closer to his partner. "I really am sorry, though..."

"And you can stop saying it, un. I got it, I got it. You're sorry, so am I. We're both sorry, hooray, un."

Sasori nodded, letting them fall into another awkward quiet moment. "How's that clay bird doing...?"

Deidara blinked at the clay blob in his hands. "Oh, right! I'll get back to working on it~ Want to talk about something while I do, un?"

"If you have another story to share, I'll listen," Sasori offered lazily, watching the talented hands as they moved about.

"Well, do you want to hear about my best friend, un?" he asked, smiling slightly... sadly?

Sasori felt pain twinge at his chest, and felt his eyes narrowing without even willing it to happen.

The Joker laughed at him lightly. "No need to be jealous, Danna. For one, she's dead, for two, you're cooler than she ever was... Though I guess I shouldn't say something like that about a dead person either way, un..."

"I wasn't jealous," he murmured stubbornly, because it was certainly nothing but the truth. "And sure," the redhead then agreed, rather awkwardly. If it was worth nothing else, at least it seemed like Deidara could use a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen and a few comforting words. He deserved that much, to say the least.

* * *

><p>He had barely turned ten when they first met. She was a few years older than him, but the age difference never mattered, and the two of them became friends very quickly.<p>

Their first meeting had been one of those times when you are walking in the street (she was) and find a stranger huddled in one of the street corners pitifully (like he was) and decide to help the stranger out for what it's worth.

He couldn't comprehend it at first - why would a total stranger want to help him? It didn't make any sense in his brain, because he had come to know the world as a cruel, cruel place, especially back at the time during which the wound in his shoulder had got infected.

She had taken him to her home, which was nothing fancy. It was one room at the back of a fabric store, but it was better than anything Deidara had had in a long, long time. Not to mention how it was better than anything he thought he would ever get.

"Can you speak?" she asked him softly as he was settled on the soft carpet in the room. When Deidara looked at her, she had her long, blonde hair in a ponytail much like his own and messy, though pretty clothes. She seemed… concerned.

"Ye-yeah, un," he whimpered, a little afraid. It was a whole new situation, after all, and he was always a little afraid when it came down to those. He didn't like new things at all.

"Don't worry... I won't hurt you," she assured him calmly, as if she could tell what it was that he was thinking. Some people really could do that, though. It just wasn't one of his few talents, provided by how little human contact he had had ever since he left his home. "I'm Ino. What's your name?"

He looked at her for a while before replying slowly, "...I'm Deidara, un."

She smiled to him in a friendly way. "Nice to meet you. Can you tell me why you were out in the streets?"

He shook his head. Of course he couldn't tell her 'Hey, I'm a Joker'.

"Okay," she agreed, shrugging. "You don't have to... Then I'll just assume that you do actually have a good reason for this."

He nodded in agreement gratefully. "Thank you... And yeah, I do have a good reason to be living on the streets, un."

She looked at curiously. "Hey, why do you keep saying 'un'?"

Deidara scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Force of habit, I guess... I've been doing it since I was a little kid, un."

She nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "Do you have parents?" she then asked.

The Joker raised an eyebrow at the weird change of subject. "Where did that come from, un?"

A shrug was his answer, followed by the words, "I was supposed to ask about it earlier, but I think I might have forgotten all about it..."

He resisted the urge to shrug himself, since he didn't actually know what had become of his parents. He forced his voice to sound calm when he responded, "No. They're dead, un."

"Oh..." Ino murmured, frowning and wrapping her arm around him. "Mine are too. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault..." Deidara responded, smiling sadly at her, "It's been a while since that happened. I've gotten over it, un."

Deidara ended up staying with Ino. She pretty much insisted it, since she didn't like the thought of having her new friend back out in the _cold, cruel streets_, as she had put it. She even made him clothes, after learning that he too liked the story of the young Jester.

"I'll make you clothes that will keep you alive anywhere," she had murmured to him as she stitched pieces of yellow together, "That way, if you ever have to leave for some reason, I can rest assured because I'll know that you're safe."

He smiled at her kindness, nodding in agreement. "You're awesome," he murmured.

"You know I am~" she declared rather proudly.

"...aren't those sleeves a little too long, though?" he asked her doubtfully, extending his arm to get a better idea of how long the sleeves were compared to the length of his arm.

"Huh?" She raised the sleeve a bit and giggled, "Nope! I'm sure you'll grow into them!" she promised him, "That's why they're so long!"

"If you say so..." he murmured, shrugging.

He had actually seen some clothes she had made in the store, and he couldn't help admitting that they were really good. Considering that, he shouldn't really complain, right? Obviously she knew more about these things than what he ever would.

"Yeah," she said once more for added effect, "Just watch. This will be awesome."

* * *

><p>"She was cool like that," Deidara murmured after ending the trip to his memories, molding a wing in his hands carefully.<p>

"So she made your clothes?" Sasori asked him curiously. No wonder she was so high on his books...

"Yup," he replied, tugging at his sleeve absently, "I'm grateful for that…"

Sasori let his eyes roll slightly. "I can see why she's so amazing in your books," he huffed annoyedly.

"Hey!" Deidara whined, "I told you that you don't need to be jealous~ She was like the big sister I never had, and you're-" he trailed off, setting the wing on the nightstand in favor of looking away from the redhead. "You're _you_," he then said sternly.

Sasori opened his mouth to ask _what did that mean_, but was stopped by a pair of warm lips on his own.

* * *

><p>...hehehe. You're welcome~<p>

For anyone who's thinking of coming after me with a frying pan... toaster... flamethrower... consider it once more because if I die, this story will be stuck here forever and ever and ever. o.o'

If you wanted... if you could... if you wanted to be awesome and make my day, I would adore you forever if you reviewed. Even if you wish to beat me up with a toaster.

See you again next Sunday~?


	29. Neglect

Heyooo~

Happy Father's Day! Go hug your father/grandfather/brother/boyfriend/male friend/male neighbour/male person selling something in the market if you haven't yet! Even if it's not Father's Day for you! :D (We celebrate it in November, so that's why you guys should go hug someone for me as well...)

Look, no one managed to kill me for last chapter's cliff-hanger! Hooray, here's a chapter to celebrate that~

Aaand thanks for reviewing, you! I love you guys~ *glomp* I replied to all but the un-signed ones! /because to those, I couldn't... ._. But you un-signed ones, I love you too~ :D

**Words: **2,381, it says  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>*scratches head* Nope, don't own...  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>The general things. :)

Here's chapter 29, 'Neglect'!

* * *

><p>Deidara was quick (<em>almost too quick<em>) to draw away, murmuring a sorry that was almost more quiet than the sound he made as he stood up, clearly intent on tip-toeing away before forced to deal with any of the possible consequences.

Sasori wasn't one hundred percent sure _what _if was that he was doing, but he wasn't going to let the blonde get away with this just like that, so he grabbed the Joker's wrist. "Don't even think about going anywhere," he hissed.

"I'm sorry, okay?" the blonde screeched, tugging his hand so harshly that if one of them wouldn't give up, Sasori was sure _something_ would get dislocated. "I'm sorry, un. I didn't mean to do that and I-" Another harsh tug followed, but Sasori's grip merely tightened.

"Calm down," the Ace muttered, not because he cared but because the other seemed like he was on the verge of panicking, and when people panicked, it was rarely anything good.

One more tug seemed to be absolutely necessary, and the blonde's wrist twisted uncomfortably before he looked Sasori in the eyes. "What?"

"I told you to calm down. What you did wasn't _this_ bad for certain."

Two more efforts to break free followed, but they were more feeble and ended with Deidara frowning before meeting those muddy brown eyes again. "Do you want to forget that ever even happened?" he offered, shifting his weight from one foot to another while waiting for an answer and for Sasori to release his death grip on the blonde's sickeningly thin wrist.

He pegged it as the best thing to do right now, and nodded. He was certain he hadn't imagined the lonely, hurt and _disappointed_ look in the blonde's eyes after his response, but it was gone very quickly (too quickly), as was the blonde, seeming practically hell-bent on getting some distance between them, taking his clay bird with him and moving to sit on the floor.

And Sasori couldn't help thinking that his companion had just _messed something up _by doing that.

They had been so... everything but uneasy in each other's company just before this. Or at least Sasori had felt that way... Either way, why did Deidara have to go and mess it all up when things seemed to be working out so well for them, no matter the current, all but good situation?

He sighed, looking at the blonde who seemed all too content with hiding his face from sight with his long hair, all the while tirelessly working on that clay bird of his.

Sasori did not like this at all. It felt awkward, more so than anything else had within the past few days, even though he had recently discovered that Deidara was an assassin with a mission to kill him. The worst thing was that it wasn't supposed to be this way...

"We can still talk, right?" Sasori asked, more frustrated than anything. He then watched for a while as Deidara apparently thought through his response.

While watching him, Sasori noticed the blonde holding his right wrist rather tenderly, and frowned, leaning towards the blonde from his spot on the bed to get a closer view. "Shit, you didn't break it, did you?"

"No, it's just sprained, un. I think…" the blonde murmured slowly, tugging his glove up a little to expose all of his wrist and then holding it up for Sasori, letting him see the reddened skin that would probably soon be turning purple. "With any luck, it'll start swelling soon, un."

"And is the color a good thing, too?" Sasori asked. It probably sounded dumb, but he hadn't had too many injuries in the past. No fractures, no sprains, no wounds that would've been too big… And he was pretty sure that Deidara was in a situation that was way different from his when it came to past injuries.

"It's bruising," he said simply, without really looking at his wrist to remind himself of the color in question, "What else is new, un?"

"Oh… You bruise easily, then…" Because he was certain he hadn't held the blonde's wrist _that _tightly. Not enough to cause finger-shaped bruises that were already showing. He could only imagine how they would look tomorrow…

"Always have, un. Sorry."

"No one told me to do that. I just didn't want you dashing off somewhere and ending up getting yourself hurt," he explained. Call it caring if you will, he called it instincts.

Deidara laughed lightly, albeit forcedly, "And yet I managed to get myself hurt. Great, un," he held up his wrist again as he spoke, "Though this used to be nothing. Some five years ago, I would've laughed it off and said it happened every day, because I'm pretty sure it did, un."

"Sounds rough."

A shrug, "It was fun, for the most part. The circus, I mean. We were a total family, un. Okay, so the circus they have intact nowadays isn't that bad either, but it's… Certainly different, un."

"Did you know it was the same circus when you dragged me there?" Sasori asked. It hadn't really crossed his mind before, but it was possible… Because Deidara sure had been hell-bent on going there.

"I was thinking about that," he drawled, "But I had no way of being sure, un. And it wasn't really even the same circus. Not with Third dead, everyone gone and Tayuya… only partly there, un."

"Okay, I'll admit that you lost me there," Sasori confessed, scratching the back of his head, "Besides, you never really explained all about the circus and… what you did after that."

"Oh… After that, I had a job as a court jester…That was hardly a _job, _though," Deidara scoffed, "More like meaningless, stupid child abuse, un."

"You were hardly a-"

"I was twelve. In my eyes, I was not old enough to be _used _like that, un."

"What… happened, then?" Okay, Sasori had to admit that Deidara had practically been a child. Anyone under twenty was.

"I'd rather not remember it. In five words, _do it or you'll suffer_. They hit me and cut me and used me. End of story, un."

"But you got away, in the end… didn't you?" Sasori asked, if only to cheer him up.

"Yeah. Sadly there wasn't any point in going back to my family, though." As an answer to the questioning look from Sasori, he continued, "The circus had been messed up within the time when I was gone, un."

* * *

><p>Deidara had it all planned in his mind. He would cover all his new scars (he already had, actually) and think of excuses for the visible ones. Besides, he had spent most if not all of his money on a pair of gloves. Anything to stop Tayuya from asking questions. He didn't want questions, and he definitely didn't want her feeling all sorry for him. He didn't think he could take that.<p>

So he worked quite a bit on finding the circus. Looked around for posters and asked people about it.

It took a visit to a cafe and asking the owner (and ever so reluctantly buying a cup of coffee) for him to find an actual clue as for where he could find the circus right about now.

The hills in Yukagure. Having been there once or twice, going there wasn't really the trouble, he soon learned.

The trouble itself began when he was there; looking up at the huge tent and thinking how it could seem so alien now, when just over a year before it had been his home, his sanctuary and the one place in which he felt content and _safe_, like nothing in the world could really posses the power hurt him.

Getting inside wasn't too much of a hassle, either. All it took was making sure the show was going on and promptly crawling underneath the tent, wiping the grass and sand off his pants and looking around for any familiar faces once all that was done and taken care of.

The surprise came when there were familiar faces to be found; not on the stage and not behind it.

The relief came when he found Tayuya.

The shock came when the redheaded flutist didn't seem the same as how he remembered her.

The fear finally hit him when Tayuya told him to _leave right now_.

He was on the verge of tears when he looked into Tayuya's narrowed, seemingly emotionless eyes. "But why?" he demanded her, "Why would I? I just _came back_, un!"

"You... have to go..." she whimpered, seeming like it took a lot out of her to say even that much.

"Tell me why," the blonde demanded her, staying right where he was.

"It's not..." Tayuya started in another urgent whimper, "Safe here. Go away and don't come back... please!"

After those, louder words, a tall man with dark, long hair and pale skin entered the small area. "Well well well... What do we have here? An intruder, are you? I ssssuppossse I'll just have to show how we deal with intruders here..."

"No!" Tayuya screeched, whirling around, "You can't hurt him, he's-"

The man's fingers snapped, and Tayuya was back to emotionlessly staring at what was before her.

"_Can't hurt him_, huh?" he murmured with an evil smirk, "We'll see about that…"

"What did you do to her, un?" Deidara demanded fearfully.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" the man murmured, moving Tayuya's hair away to point at a black mark on the base of his neck. "Sssee this here? That's my cursed seal... They're all mere puppets to me. Every. Single. One."

"You bastard..." Deidara hissed as the black-haired man gave Tayuya the instructions to kill the /meddling blonde.

When Tayuya turned around, he saw her mouthing /please leave.

And in the end, that made him make a run for it, though he promised himself that he would be back. Someday.

Sasori was rather wordless after this; it only addressed to the fact that _nothing_ good really ever happened to Deidara.

"Yeah. That's why we weren't exactly on best terms with Tayuya, like you probably saw, un..." Deidara muttered depressedly, "And you don't have to say how sorry you are; I already know. But you could change things, and yet you just..." he sighed, "Make yourself something to eat. I'm going to sleep, un..."

Whether it was because Sasori didn't want commands from Deidara or because he wasn't hungry, he never made himself anything to eat. He merely worked on some old puppet for a few hours (because it really wasn't that late; the whole sleeping thing had probably been an excuse to avoid another depressing continuation to the already depressing conversation.

After those few hours, he stepped over Deidara, who was curled up on the floor, blew out the candle lightening the house and falling asleep in his cold bed.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry, Danna," Deidara murmured as he drew away, blushing and all, "I- I didn't mean to do that, un..."<p>

Sasori stared at him blankly, his fingers touching his lips absently. "Then why did you do that?"

He hesitated, looking away awkwardly as ever.

"Tell me," Sasori pressed on.

"Because I like you..." he murmured helplessly, "Okay, un? I like you so I kissed you and I'm sorry-!"

"You don't have to be," Sasori murmured, smiling slightly as he did, "Because I like you too."

"...Really, un?"

And then there were warm lips back on his (_where they belonged_, he thought) and a hand tangling in his hair and Deidara's voice softly breathing out his name every time they drew apart for breath.

"...for how long?" Sasori couldn't help asking. How long had the blonde been there, just within his reach, without him knowing?

"_Forever_," he whispered.

* * *

><p>When he woke up in the morning, Sasori soon developed a headache from working out which parts of yesterday had actually taken place and which parts had been only a dream.<p>

Reluctantly, he came to accept that while Deidara's stories had indeed happened, so had the kiss… And yet what happened after it hadn't actually worked as well as how it went in his dream.

For a moment, he was wondering if that was another weird, insane plot of Deidara's; kissing him and then putting… dreams in his head.

One glance at the blonde (who was still laying on the feet of his bed, though his opened eye suggested that he wasn't sleeping anymore) reminded him that he couldn't ask Deidara if the Joker had been messing up with his dreams again; for if he hadn't been, it wouldn't be difficult for him to figure out the reason for the question. And if Deidara didn't know, Sasori would be perfectly content to be keeping it that way.

* * *

><p>Unbeknownst to him, the blonde in question was very well aware of what had been going on in his head the night before, for he had been wide awake, sitting at the feet of Sasori's bed and holding his hand extended over the Ace's forehead to watch over his dream, make sure he wouldn't startle himself awake or react like he probably wanted to; badly and to experience the dream how Sasori saw it, for he was certain they would never ever discuss it. In that way, his plan was perfect; he would never be caught for doing this. Sasori would never even <em>ask <em>him about him, since Sasori probably preferred to keep all of his fantasies out of Deidara's knowledge if he could help it.

Only when the dream had ended and he was certain that Sasori wouldn't be awoken for a few more hours at least (this because he had made sure of it himself), Deidara allowed himself to break down and cry, all the while muttering quiet apologies to the other young man, who had no way of hearing him. He knew it was wrong; just as wrong, if not more, as the forced kiss from before. He had no right to be doing this, and he knew that very well.

In the end, he fell asleep curled up on Sasori's feet, thankful to feel that little bit of heat radiating from his body, tears still running down his cheeks.

* * *

><p>There you go; finally a present day-scene from Deidara's point of view!<br>Personally, I'm excited to finally have one... Though it could've been a little bit happier. Oh well... Next time, maybe?

Either or, my offer from last chapter stands, so if you feel like beating me up with something, go ahead. It would make me very very very happy to get a review. And who knows what might happen if I'm happy...?

Ahaha, either way, see you next Sunday~ Oh and happy Midsummer in advance~


	30. Fight

Hey! Look! A three and a zero! How cool is that?

I'll be leaving to a confirmation camp on 1st of July and I'll be back on 10th July! That means that I'll update next Sunday (1st) but not the one after that (8th) because... no internet is no internet. *sigh* But, I'll update when I get back (around 10th or so), and then again the next Sunday (14th), so no harm done, right?

Either or, thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry I couldn't reply to the unsigned ones... But that's given. It still bothers me, though. D:  
>I still love every single one of you guys. You make this work~ :D<p>

**Words:** 2,012 (coincidence? I think not...)  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Swearing, and a bit of it too. Hurtful words all around...

Heeere's chapter 30; _'Fight'! _Go ahead and read on~

* * *

><p>"Are you cooking, un?" Deidara asked ever so lazily and almost disinterestedly when his partner stood up, numbly closing the eye Sasori could see.<p>

"Do you want something?" Sasori countered, as he didn't really care either way. They had meat and vegetables and all that to last for a few more weeks, but sooner or later they were going to run out of water. Then what? Take some snow and melt it? That would surely help…

Deidara moved about for a moment until he was curled up again, but now staring up at the ceiling. "...not really. I'm not really used to eating and I don't want to become that way now, un."

"Then I suppose I'm not," Sasori muttered in a belated response to the question from before, sitting down on the bed.

"...have you ever been in love?" then came the sudden question, one that sounded like it had been bothering Deidara for a while now. Sasori was almost certain that he knew the reason why he would be thinking of that...

He shook his head, even knowing that Deidara wasn't looking at him. "No. I don't care for such... things. Emotions such as that are useless."

Laughter barked from the colorful ball on the bed. "Emotions are useless? Like how you think that art is eternal, un?"

"Something like that, I suppose. Both are truths, no matter how you much you may deny them." He shot Deidara a look that seemed to pinpoint the blonde as the one denying these truths Sasori was ever so fond of.

"Art is fleeting, un. Life is fleeting, too, so you should make the most out of it. One day it'll all come to an end - _bang_, just like that - and you'll _regret_ not doing things back when you still had the chance to, un."

Out of a reflex, he shrugged, not really even bothering to think through what the blonde had just said. "Can you get up from bed and stop thinking about the deeper meanings behind life? It's irritating me."

"Yeah..." Deidara half-rolled as if to get up, then groaning, "Just a few more minutes, un..."

"Thought you were used to life on the streets," Sasori pointed out seemingly pointlessly, looking to strike a nerve and get a reaction for doing so.

"I am," Deidara murmured plainly, in place of giving a more or less proper reaction.

"Then you should be used to waking up quickly and… whatever."

"I'm not. I didn't really sleep… Whenever I did, nothing good ever came out of it anyways, un."

That sort of cleared things, thus making Sasori raise a curious, dark red eyebrow. "When you say 'didn't really sleep', you mean…"

"I mean that ever since I came to this town, I've been spending my nights in the quieter street-corners or the graveyard, mostly trailing about but sleeping for an hour or two every night," Deidara clarified further, "Also known as 'not really sleeping', un."

"Are you trying to quilt-trip me for _sleeping_?" Sasori asked him inrediculously, for he sure felt like what Deidara was saying was that _I was stuck out there in the streets for years while you were happily sleeping in the safety of your house_.

"No, I'm getting the facts straight," Deidara hissed, "And trying to stall getting up because there's really nothing to do in this stupid house, un."

The Ace of Clubs took that slightly personally, not only because it was _his house_, but also because _he was there_. They had been talking for the past few days (and before that as well, but for the past few days, talking had suddenly become the main activity), and now it suddenly wasn't enough anymore?

"Sorry you feel that way," he hissed back, "But you can just fuck off if this place isn't enough anymore. I'm not going to stop you."

"I don't need your pity," he responded more ferociously than before, turning his head to the side to glare at the redhead, "As I'm merely trying to keep us both fucking alive here, un!"

"_You_ were the one who got me into this fucking mess in the first place!"

Apparently that one had hit the spot (no wonder, because that had been a little more cruel than what Sasori had been going for, and he had been going for something cruel), for Deidara scrambled up from the bed, only to fall rather unceremonially on his face, hissing at the hit. It was alarming only because Deidara wasn't supposed to be the kind of person to fall over himself when attempting to do something as simple as getting up from bed (he was a _street artist_, and street artists just didn't fail like that), but at the moment, Sasori couldn't have cared less even if he had tried.

"What's the _matter_?" he merely asked his companion, amused by the situation. "Don't you want to face the truth?"

A string of curses and hisses took place as the blonde slowly got back on his feet, coughing until his eyes burned red and his face resembled that of a corpse more than anything. "I'm merely..." he drew a breath, one that was quickly followed by another harsh cough, "taking your _friendly advice_ and getting the fuck out of here, un."

His first few steps towards the door were unstable and swaying, but the ones after were quicker, more urgent and finally, the door was _slammed_ close harshly before either of them could get another word out.

Sasori had no idea what was wrong with him; what always made him push Deidara to his limits and then slowly but steadily force him over them, in the end always managing to make him leave like someone was set out to kill him.

He should've known right away, when Deidara hadn't got up the moment he had, that something was wrong. But instead of asking _are you alright_in a concerned manner, like he should've when he could've, he had verbally attacked the blonde in hopes of gaining some morbid sense of power and control from the Joker's grief.

Yes, he supposed he had managed to do the wrong thing yet again.

And since he couldn't very well go out in the streets and ask people if they had seen the blonde (which was given since that would cause him to put both of the in danger of being located by the ANBU and most likely killed as well), he tugged on his long, black coat, going as far as pulling the hood over his head even at the risk of seeming suspicious and set out to try and find the blonde by himself.

It was slightly eerie outside, though he supposed that the atmosphere was mostly caused by himself drowning in his thoughts, which were quite far from cheerful or even neutral. Not to mention positive...

No, his thoughts were darkened by what he could easily identify but never admit as worry, decorated by a thin layer of fear for his partner's life, as well as his own, and the dark way of thinking made everything seem that much worse.

The birds that were singing every normal day had all recently left to find a better, warmer place to live, much like most people wanted to do but weren't able to, for various reasons.

The clouds up in the sky, no matter that they sort of reminded him of Deidara (because Deidara liked birds, which meant that he probably liked the sky as well, and would've most likely been ecstatic if given a chance to fly out there and disappear into thin air like a wonderful magic trick had just taken place there), seemed threatening, as if they would swallow the whole town and all those poor, innocent people along with it.

When a cold gust of wind swirled around Sasori, the afore-mentioned young man tugged his hood a little farther over his head, attempting to conceal all of his distinctively red hair with it.

As far as hoping for a miracle went, finding the blonde should've been strikingly easy; Sasori rarely had moments during which he wanted something this much.

As far as reality would cave in, however, there wasn't a single trace of yellow or red or golden or even a blue eye anywhere to be seen, just white _white __**white**_ and a few people with grey - or brown or whatever color they were, it wasn't like he was even paying attention to that - coats tugged on their bodies.

After wandering around for some fifteen minutes, Sasori realized that he should've just looked for footsteps from the doorway and following them.

Another seven minutes in and he was back to where he had started. He noticed easily that even though it was clear that Deidara had been running, he had still stumbled every once in a while and even stopped completely (Sasori could imagine that he had stopped only to sway dizzily and try to catch his breath) here and there.

He was given the opportunity to follow the footsteps for a little over ten minutes, and they led him into the smaller, quieter alleyways (which he should've _known_, really. Why hadn't he gone there in the first place, when it was ever so _obvious_?) that were close to the place where Deidara used to perform, the small, quiet opening with the peg and all that.

After those ten minutes, however, the footsteps stalled for good, turning into a mess of snow and a wider area where the snow had been pushed down under someone's (Deidara's, most likely), weight. And from there, the footsteps were replaced by those of a bigger shoe, steps that were more determined and seemed to know exactly where they were headed and how to get there.

Even though this was hardly a good sign (Deidara _collapsing_ in the middle of nowhere, only to have someone continue from where he left off?), Sasori bit his lip and continued following the new footsteps as it slowly started to snow again.

They led him closer to the market, to the middle of the market, until they just... vanished. It wasn't' like he had lost them in the mass of other marks in the snow; the footsteps were there but didn't continue any farther.

Sasori stood right where he was, staring at the footsteps in the snow, until sighing and whipping around, cursing himself for ever letting that blonde leave his house.

* * *

><p>He was well aware that this kind of shit (also known as nights after nights of wearing himself out for the sake of creating illusions) had always been followed by fatigue, never anything pretty and always ever so painful, once almost managing to get him killed, but <em><strong>why right now<strong>_?

To be completely honest, he could have sworn that he had already grown out of the phase where a young magician (magic-user, because he would've been very rude to call himself an actual magician right _now_) who hadn't really learnt to control their magic properly would overuse their powers and just... tire out.

Tire out so badly that the fatigue that followed tried to heal them with magic (he couldn't even _use_ healing spells, for crying out loud!) even though they had no magic left. Then as an after-effect from the afore-mentioned, their life source would start draining to make up the lacking magic and then the magic would attempt to repair the life source...

For starters, he needed to get the hell out of there.

For seconds, he couldn't get caught.

And as for the third thing, no matter whether it drained his life source or not, he needed to use magic _one more time_.

Whimpering as he looked around for any possible witnesses (up at this point, the only thought in his mind was _can't afford to get caught_), he slowly raised his hand to his forehead; focusing as much as his current, weakened condition would allow him to.

He was no longer conscious to know whether or not he was ever found.

* * *

><p>*headdesk* I swear, Deidara loves messing everything up. I had nothing to do with this...<p>

Well, if you wanted... to make my whole week, you could... review? You don't have to, but it would mean a lot to me, I swear...

See you next Sunday~? owo


	31. Illusions

Hey~

I'm leaving to a confirmation camp (I was confirmed last summer, now I'm helping out~) in a little under three hours, and I can't stress this enough; _I'll be more or less Internet-less until 10th, which means that **there won't be a new chapter on next**** Sunday.****  
><strong>_But there will be one when I'm back; on the 10th or 11th. Promise unless something really bad happens.

Thanks for reviewing, you! Also, concerning the _number of chapter__s_ in this, that was asked...**no idea. **I don't know, really. Some more, at least...

**Words:** 2,337  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Do I look like I own Naruto? Really? Well I don't.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>A little swearing.

Here goes, one chapter that has something that's different from all the ones before it~ Named _'Illusions__'_!

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><p>"I look weird," he finally murmured, after spending three days without saying much at all due to fatigue having struck him full force.<p>

As it was, that sentence said everything he wanted to say.

It said nothing at all.

It said everything he was supposed to say.

Nagato (the redhead that had saved him from freezing himself to death out there) looked at him, scoffing. "I don't know what your _normal_ is, but I'd say you look fine."

He bit back his tongue, though. Not because he didn't trust the people who had saved him; Nagato and Konan, a blue-haired, kind-hearted girl that was Nagato's companion (partner? girlfriend? lover?), but because he didn't want to get them included in the mess his life had always been.

"...I guess..." he simply said, sighing dejectedly.

"Don't be so harsh on him, Nagato." Konan murmured, apparently referring to Nagato being not so understanding towards Deidara's delirious 'I look weird'-speech, "You know how bad it gets sometimes when you overuse your powers,"

"...No, not really," Nagato muttered, "Hasn't ever happened to me."

Deidara couldn't help but groan. Nagato was a King of Diamonds, of course he wouldn't know what failing was like, especially when it came down to magic. Konan was different when it came to that; she was a Three of Clubs and a magician on top of that, so she was probably familiar with the concept.

Even though Nagato was continuously not-too-kind to him, Deidara still liked him. Something about him - red hair, cold attitude maybe? - reminded him of Sasori.

He sighed as he stared down at his bowl, green eyes stared back at him. Green eyes that were both deep and bright at the same time. Green eyes that were of such a strange hue that if they weren't his own, Deidara could've complimented them as interesting, saying that they reminded him of a dark forest in the morning light.

Along with green eyes came short, slightly spiked black hair that looked weirder than anything. The good thing was that his Card Mark wasn't there. For once, it was like it didn't even _exist_…

Illusions were great and all that, but he would've preferred to be able to look at himself and really see _himself_ looking back.

This had never even happened before.

"Are you looking for someone... who can't be seen?" Konan asked him in a friendly, casual manner.

"I-" Deidara started, thinking that through. The choice of words, coupled with the situation in hand, sounded like she _knew_. Knew what he had done, knew that he had lied to them, knew everything.

"Yes. A blonde," he murmured dejectedly, motioning at how long his hair usually was.

Konan let out a quiet 'oh', nodding. "I haven't seen anyone like that... But I'll tell you if I do, okay?"

In other words: if you start flickering back and forth, I'll let you know.

"Thanks."

"Hey, did you use a transformation spell or an illusion?" Konan asked him curiously.

"...an illusion," Deidara admitted quietly.

"You must be good, then," she murmured, seeming amazed as her eyes widened, "I can't see through it at all."

"Yeah," the used-to-be-blonde admitted reluctantly, coupled with an air of annoyance, "Neither can I."

"So, are you going to undo it or just... wait for it to wear off?" Konan asked him with a blink of her eyes.

"Wait, of course," Deidara muttered, "I'm waiting for my magic to restore itself, like hell am I going to start wasting now it when I can just wait for it instead..."

"I suppose that if I was in your situation, I would do just that as well..." Konan shrugged just as Nagato walked into the room.

"Where do you live?" Nagato asked, probably from Deidara.

The addressed male tugged at a strand of his hair, something he was used to doing whenever he was nervous. Of course, that was back when his hair was longer, but the slightly calming effect was still there.

And even though his blonde, long hair was technically still there, part of great illusions was always suggestion. Because he saw his hair short, he couldn't feel his long hair even though it was actually there.

"I've been living on the southern side of the town for a while now..." he responded, making sure not to give out any details, crucial or not, "Why?"

"And there is a reason why you don't want to go back there?" Nagato pressed on without addressing the question thrown back at him, "Right?"

"Right," he agreed with a nod and a sideways glance, "Especially not right now. So if you want to throw me out-"

"No," Nagato interrupted in a stern tone, "You're staying right here until you think it's okay for you to go back home."

Into his sleeve, Deidara murmured bitterly, "That might take a while…"

"What's keeping you from going there in the first place?"

"A person."

"Friend or foe?"

He hesitated before answering, "Friend…"

"A loved one?" Konan cut in, earning a grimace from Deidara.

"Something like that, I suppose…"

"So you were living with this person that you love…" she observed, "And whether he-" Deidara shot her a death glare, but she chose to ignore it, "-loves you back or not, you two got in a fight and you stormed out, probably more or less due to hitting fatigue. That about right?"

Blinking, Deidara couldn't help but nod his agreement. "Yeah, actually. More or less…

"Stop reading him like an open book, Konan," Nagato muttered to the woman, "You know how scary it can be."

"Sorry~" she murmured, "But you have to make out- make up with him-"

"Her," Deidara interrupted, for he was already a Joker and had the ANBU on him for that. The last thing he needed was having them on to him for being gay, too…

"Deny it all you want," Konan murmured with a grin, "But anyways, you need to make up with him and get in bed wi-"

"Konan," Nagato hissed.

"Sorry," she apologized again, "I didn't get much sleep last night. But if you'd kindly be quiet for a moment and let me take care of this?" When the redheaded male didn't respond, she continued, "It would help if you shared the situation with us, though…"

"No," Deidara disagreed quickly, "You don't need to get caught up in this shit, un." He bit his lip when the persistent _un_escaped his mouth, and continued, "I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Hey, we became a part of this when I carried you out of there," Nagato reminded him with a nod towards the pair of huge shoes on the doorway. Deidara didn't why the man even had those, but apparently they were good for getting around in the snow.

"…still, what you don't know you can't be held responsible for, un," he insisted.

"Please?" Konan asked, wide eyes and all, "We want to help you!" It was weird, mostly because it had a long time since anyone last tried to help him.

Hesitantly, Deidara murmured, "I'm Deidara from Iwagakure and a Joker and I have the ANBU after me and…" he paused for a second or two, "-there's this guy who let me live with him but he didn't know that I was supposed to kill him, un."

The other two stared at him for a while, and Nagato winced. "Ouch."

"…and I influenced his dreams a lot and got struck by fatigue and I ran…" he continued, not much louder than a whisper now, "…and I figured I had to do something so I used an illusion to hide myself from the ANBU," he took another breath, "and I'm waiting for it to wear off now because I can't go back when he won't recognize me," he paused for one last time before nodding and adding, "Un."

"What about I go find this guy and drag him here?" Nagato suggested.

"Do it!" Konan told him, and before Deidara had the change to prevent it, Nagato had grabbed those huge shoes and was out the door.

"Thanks a lot for ruining my life," Deidara muttered grimly, giving the blue-haired female a nasty look.

"You're welcome," Konan murmured in response, "I'm doing it for your own good~"

"Yeah, right…"

It took around fifteen agonizingly slow minutes of Konan teasing Deidara for falling for a guy ("It's cute!" "It's not, it's bad but I can't help it…" "…it's cute, shut up.") until Nagato walked through the door, literally dragging Sasori by his collar.

The smaller redhead was hissing, but other than that, he didn't too unwilling. Deidara wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Nagato had told him…

Brown eyes surveyed the room for a short, slow moment before they stopped to stare at the Joker, who was looking away in hopes of not being recognized.

"…Deidara?"

The addressed male tried to seem like he _did not_ know this _Deidara_-person was, suddenly very interested in looking at the floor. Was that actually wood? Wow…

"Come on, Dei. We all know that you can speak," Konan insisted. What did she know, anyways? Maybe his ability to produce words had been magically taken away by Sasori's unexpected presence.

Then again, whatever purpose there may have been about not speaking, Konan had skillfully killed just now. Sasori probably knew either way, and it was pointless to hide any longer and...

"Hi, un."

Sasori took a step, albeit hesitant, towards him. "Why did you leave?"

The not-so-blonde man frowned. "Because of this... all this," he muttered, motioning at himself, "This shit has struck me really harshly before. Coughed up blood for a few hours once, un." The last part came out even more grimly than he had intended (and he had intended for it to sound quite grim), but Sasori needed to know that he had his reasons and that they weren't all that bad.

"I could've helped," Sasori told him, "I could've helped, if you had stayed."

"After we fought?" Deidara asked him, just a grim, if not more, as before, "Probably not. You would've kept on fighting until the whole _coughing up blood_-thing started," he insisted, "And then panicked a bit, un. But could you have helped? Probably not, un."

Another step to close the distance between them, with Konan and Nagato observing the situation quietly, as if they weren't even there. Deidara was sure that if something bad really happened, they would've jumped in quickly, and the thought calmed him even though this was Sasori, and Sasori wouldn't hurt him, dislocated wrists aside.

"You could have given me a chance to try."

Even though that was an actual effort to make him feel guilty and Deidara knew it, he couldn't help but feel just what Sasori wanted him to. "Of course I could have... I should've, too, un. But I panicked because that hasn't happened in while, un, and then I-"

"I know."

That was more probably much more meaningful to both of them than anything else they had said thus far. _I know._ (I understand, I forgive you, I'm sorry too)

Grinning lightly, Deidara let himself get up from the chair, walk up to the redhead and hug him. Hug him tightly, murmuring a 'sorry' and then 'thank you' and then finally, 'I don't know what Nagato said to you but he was probably lying, un', earning a smirk from the Ace of Clubs.

"If you decide to leave again, I will reconsider before actually bothering to find you."

"Nah, you'd get bored alone, with only puppets and more puppets there to keep you company, un." Maybe he was over overexaggerating his worth, but he didn't care. He had wanted to see Sasori (talk to Sasori and admittedly touch Sasori as well) ever since he had left, but he had almost managed to convince himself that he didn't need to. Almost.

Deidara ears picked up Konan whispering to Nagato, "Those two are cute together, aren't they?" And he was pretty certain that Sasori had heard the comment as well, for he broke away from the embrace to glare at the two of them.

"...you could always go back to your home if you wanted privacy," Konan suggested, rolling her eyes, "You can't really blame me for whatever I do in my own house. Oh and I'm Konan, Three of Clubs. I don't think I caught your name...?"

"Sasori. Ace of Clubs," the shorter redhead responded, deciding to ignore the suggestion and especially the implication.

"Nagato. King of Diamonds," the quiet man replied in the same way Sasori had, not missing the sneer that was all too evident in Sasori's eyes when it came down to Diamonds.

When three pairs of eyes turned to him, Deidara gave them a confused look. "What? You all already know who I am, un."

"When people introduce themselves, it's good manners to introduce yourself," Konan lectured.

"Even if those people already know who you are, un?"

"Even then," Konan confirmed, "I think."

"Do they get along or hate each other?" Sasori asked, mostly rhetorically.

"I don't want to. It's not fun to keep saying _Hi, I'm a Joker, I'm a Joker, a Joker, Joker,_ un..."

"Oh, they're great friends," Nagato replied nonchalantly, "I think."

"No one said it had to be fun. Now do it."

"No, un."

Sasori grabbed hold of the back of Deidara's jacket, tugging at it. "We're going home."

"No, we aren't, un!"

"Yes, we are."

"No way, un!"

A sigh. "You don't have to come if you prefer to keep on fighting with her for the rest of the night over coming home with me..." Sasori muttered. And Deidara wasn't only imagining the bitterness in his tone, was he? He probably was, but it didn't matter.

Grinning, he tugged his shoes on and waved at the two. "We're going home, thanks for everything, un~"

"Remember to come back and visit sometime!" Konan said with a smile, before muttering into her sleeve, "Love-struck idiot..."

* * *

><p>Yes, Konan is kind of out of it. But Konan was all happy and smiles until all the drama in canon, and here the drama never happened, so...<p>

Even though I'll be Internet-less, I'll have email access. And do you know what would make my whole day upon waking up from the teeny tiny bed in the too-hot-to-tolerate cabin way too early?

Yes, a review. :)

There's a new review box, too! Don't you just want to try it? There it is~ *pokes*

Anyway, see you when I get back~?


	32. Games

Hey~

I had fun at the camp, yay~

Thanks for reviewing, you guys made my day. I'll reply really soon, I promise! Once I'm free, that is, I've been like running about since... Two weeks ago. But eh.

Oh hey and there was an anon review that got into the depth of ch. 20 a bit (because that chapter had depth!). Look it up if you're interested~

**Words:** 2,008 (told you I'm busy little bumble bee)  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>...don't own  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>You might hate this or like this. Depends. And I didn't look it through more than once after typing because tired~

Here's chapter 32; _'Games'~_

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><p>It was difficult, to say the least, to talk to Deidara, know fully well that it was Deidara, yet look at him and hear him when he didn't seem like Deidara at all.<p>

The blonde (who had black hair for the time being, which did its own to confuse Sasori, who wasn't sure what his hair should be referred to as) had made at least three promises that the illusion should wear off within a small amount of time, yet he had refused to give a proper length to said time. It was irritating, since Sasori believed that he had already waited long enough without even knowing why it bothered him so greatly.

A few hours after they had got back, Deidara had decided that he wanted to know each and every thing there was to know about the redhead, starting with his favorite color and ending with what seemed like it would never be known.

"Because blue is a dead color," Deidara insisted to their argument of whether blue or green was better, "Green is lively and pretty, but blue is just… dead, un."

"Blue is everything _but _dead," Sasori argued, "The sky is blue, and water is blue. Water is the most essential thing there is to life, so how can you possibly claim that it's a dead color?"

"Because my eyes are blue, un," he muttered quietly in a tone that was about as final as if he had found a cure to the Black Death and knew that it needed to be used here and now. "They're blue and I saw them in the mirror I crashed into." Before Sasori could argue, he continued, "I always see them reflecting in other people's eyes and I hate it, un. It reminds me of being this way and I don't like it."

"I like your eyes."

He swore that it was out of his mouth without his agreement, but since it had already happened, Sasori pretended like it was nothing, like he had just said another pointless comment to the pointless argument that Deidara seemed to hold so dear.

"Don't do that," Deidara murmured, lowering his head before seeming to recall that he didn't actually have his long hair to hide behind any longer and raising it back up a little again, "You can't say things like that when you don't like me. It's unfair, un."

Sasori blinked, not really sure about what Deidara expected him to do and what he was supposed to do. "I'm sorry for trying to be kind to you, then?"

The Joker frowned, letting out a strange, high-pitched sound that resembled a dying cat slightly. "It already hurts enough as it is. Don't make it worse, un."

"I just-"

"Could you love me if I was high-ranked?" the clown suddenly blurted out, holding his fingers in the air as if preparing to cast a spell, "I could make that happen, un." Of course, it would only be an illusion, but Deidara sure seemed willing to overlook the fact for the sake of pleasing his companion.

Sasori wasn't sure when and why they had started to talk about love (Deidara didn't _really _love him, did he? He couldn't. He just couldn't.), but he did know that he wanted to end that discussion before it even started. He hadn't ever even considered the chance of liking someone as more than a companion that was sort of tolerable, let alone liking _Deidara_ like that.

But what if him refusing too harshly got Deidara to leave again?

"Don't overuse your magic," he then said simply, deciding that it didn't sound too indifferent nor too interested in the subject of their _ever so pleasant_ conversation.

"If I was rich?"

"Can we talk about something else?"

"If I was a noble?"

"I thought you were-" He was going to say that Deidara was a noble, but then he realized that that was the keyword. _Were._

"If I was a girl, un?"

Sasori couldn't believe that Deidara was willing to stoop that low. What would he have done, had Sasori given him a positive answer? Changed into a female? He let out a low groan at the idea. "Just stop already..."

"What do you want me to do?" Deidara asked, "I want to be good enough for you, but you're not telling me what it is that you want, un."

"I don't want anything," Sasori insisted, "I'm just not like that. I'm sor-"

In the span of time it took Sasori to make a startled sound, Deidara seemed to have lost whatever little sense of self-worth he had held before, wrapping his arm around Sasori and harshly tugging the redhead towards him until their noses were almost touching.

"I like you, Sasori," he whispered, voice almost breaking when it came to pronouncing the name of the short-tempered redhead, "And you will like me back, someday. You'll have to, un."

Before Sasori had the chance to argue, or even think up an argument for that matter, he was interrupted by Deidara connecting their lips with a weird sound that came out close to a moan, tilting his head to get as much as he could before Sasori inevitably pulled away (because they both knew he would, most likely coupled with angry words and sneers).

In spite of what they both knew as a cold, cruel fact, when the Ace did make an effort to break their contact, Deidara pushed him so that he fell on his back on the bed with a dull thud that made Sasori wonder why it was even called a bed in the first place, since beds were supposed to be soft.

Deidara was quick to get on top of the redhead, his knees resting on both sides of the other's body as he continued the kiss. In the end, he made Sasori close his eyes; because he didn't want to see, because Deidara was too close and because he wasn't Deidara and because he should've been and because he _shouldn't have even been there in the first place-!_

It was slightly frightening, because no matter what he may have told himself, Sasori knew that if it came down to fighting the other man off of him, he couldn't do it. Deidara was bigger and stronger out of the two of them and had his magic to back him up if needed, so it was only up to Deidara what happened next for the time being.

When Deidara did pull away (for air, Sasori could've sworn it), resting his weight on the Ace's legs, Sasori let his eyes flutter open to see what the other man was going to do next.

He was met by parted, slightly swollen lips that caught his attention first.

Then he looked at his blonde, ever so slightly disheveled hair that Deidara was persistently trying to keep out of his eyes.

Blue eyes.

"It's good to have you back," Sasori murmured quietly, staring up into his eyes and waiting for Deidara to do _something_.

"It's probably going to storm tonight, un," the blonde murmured simply, drawing himself up and blowing out the candles left in the room, "So I'll just grab your jacket to keep myself warm. That okay, un?"

Sasori supposed that this was Deidara's way to get out of the situation without any extra awkwardness or questions, and grunted out a yes, not really bothering to move from where he was now that it was dark in his house.

"Good night," Deidara murmured, sounding like he had set himself somewhere not too far from the bed. "...I really like you. Just so you know, un."

"Good night," Sasori responded, not bothering and not wanting to acknowledge Deidara's other comment in any way. He'd be damned for sure if he ended up giving the blonde _ideas_.

* * *

><p>He was pretty sure that he was getting better at telling what was reality and what was a dream, since as soon as he saw Deidara standing in the middle of a wide field, he was certain that it was a dream. Again.<p>

"Why do you keep showing up in my dreams?" Sasori asked him annoyedly, though he couldn't really be blamed for it. He had just tolerated the blonde and his very weird questions and conversations for the whole day; it would've been fair to let him sleep in peace at least. "Besides, I thought you were supposed to stop doing that."

The blonde merely grinned lazily. "Wouldn't you like to know... But now that I am here, let's make the most out of it, shall we?"

Before Sasori had the chance to argue or demand a more proper answer, the other man was already kissing him, still grinning against his lips. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately...

The redhead pushed him away with the firm decision that it was _his dream_ andthat meant that_ he _could decide what should and what shouldn't take place in it.

He earned a pout for the blonde, but decided to ignore it in favor of changing the subject. "Don't do that. It's my dream and I don't want this."

"Well it's my dream too, since I'm here, un. And I do want it," Deidara argued, his eyes narrowing slightly, "So what can you do about it, un?"

Sasori frowned, "I can wake up," he said, half to himself and half to the blonde as he considered if it was a smart idea or not.

"Stop lying to yourself," the Joker responded with a sigh, "You know you want this as much as I do. It's pointless to try and convince yourself anything else, un."

"I'm not lying."

"Right. And we're not arguing, un."

"We aren't. We are simply discussing the situation currently in hand."

"Same thing, un."

"Hardly."

Deidara sighed again, looking up at the sky. Apparently in his dream, the sun was just setting, and Sasori would be lying if he claimed that the red-tinted colors didn't compliment Deidara in the slightest as they fell over him. Not that he would say that aloud, though. He didn't need to say aloud everything he thought, luckily.

"Why can't you just let me sleep?" Sasori asked him, for he sort of wanted to get some rest during the night when what awaited him in the morning would undoubtedly be another day full of the blonde.

"You _are _sleeping, un," was Deidara's ever-so-smart response.

"But could you let me get some of the dreamless kind of sleep, after which I actually feel like having slept for a few hours?" he asked, his patience wearing off by the minute.

"Nah, I don't think I will," the blonde replied without even considering it, "You're too much fun to leave on your own, un."

Sasori took a deep breath, wondering what exactly it would take to make Deidara leave him to be for the rest of the night.

He then had an idea that seemed like a simple solution at the time; kind of like the easy way out. Besides, it was just a stupid dream, so it wasn't like it even mattered in the first place.

"If I kiss you, then will you let me sleep?"

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><p>Weird as it was, when he woke up, that was the last thing Sasori remembered out of said dream. What was weirder still, he found Deidara tangled in his feet, curled up under the blanket and still wrapped in the coat he had got himself the night before.<p>

"You're awake," Deidara murmured simply, not moving from where he was, apparently in hopes of keeping his body warmth safely under the blanket. Though it really _was_ cold, Sasori had to give him that.

"You are too," he returned disinterestedly, "And you really should stop using your powers. They're still recovering, right?"

"...huh?" the blonde said very slowly, as if he was giving his brains plenty of time to fully analyze the previous sentence. "What do you mean? I haven't used my powers since the day when I stormed off, un."

Durrr tired. Leaving to anime convention tomorrow and coming back around 11 PM on Sunday. If you want to make sure I'm awake enough to write you a chapter when I get back... review?

Either or, see you~?


	33. Healing

Hi!

Should've updated yesterday, sorry. Collapsed on my bed when I made it home. ._.

But I still love you guys, and that's why I'm writing even though I have to wake up in three hours, since I'm going to hang around in Helsinki with AkumaNoDanna. :)

Thanks for existing, all of you!

**Words:** 2,022  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't. Own. It. But. Wrote. It.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> I like it. You might too. :) You might not... I cried while thinking up one part. A lot, actually. Was strange.

Anyways, here's chapter 33; _'Healing'_~

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><p>Konan bit her lip as he watched her love change into the form she had grown more accustomed to be seeing him in. Of course, it was a mere illusion, but it was one of the best illusions there could be, of that she was certain.<p>

"You know you can't let him see you as _Yahiko_ now, right, Pain?" she asked for what was probably at least the tenth time, but one really couldn't blame her for being worried. Not with everything that had happened…

He had probably recognized the hesitant stop before the blonde's name and the other one before his own, for Pain turned around with a scowl. "He's dead, Konan. He's dead and he's not coming back," he reminded, as if a reminder was actually needed up at that point.

It felt like a stab into her throat, but she didn't let it show on her face (not like he needed to see it to _know_) as she nodded. "I know."

"Sometimes I feel like it would've been better if I-"

When she wrapped her arms around him, it was out of desperation more than anything. She knew that once again, she had only managed to make everything a little bit worse. To break him a little bit more, for he was hurt just like she was. It was just the same, but she was only thinking of herself again; hurting him to protect herself.

"Don't say that. I need you. Only you. If you had-" she drew in a breath that was a little too sharp to seem normal, causing him to stroke her hair carefully; something that should've brought her at ease a little. "I couldn't live without you. Ya- Pain... Nagato." She didn't have to say it aloud (she didn't need to say anything aloud, but sometimes both of them needed to be reassured); she wasn't sure what she should call him anymore. Everything was just too confusing. He _looked_ like him, he _was_ Nagato and he _should_ be referred to as Pain. What did that make him?

"Pain is fine," he replied. Of course it was fine, for it was what everyone called him in the real world. It had to be fine, or he wouldn't have ended up with that name (or was it a title, rather?).

"...you still have to be _Nagato _for the blonde, though." She smiled a bit as she thought back at the two males who had been there just a while ago; they had been refreshing in the way they acted around each other, not to mention the love the illusionist held for the other. She could barely wait for the day she would see it reciprocated.

"I'm aware..." Pain responded slowly, "But I think he would understand the whole deal, if one of us were to tell him. In his situation, he would have to understand."

"But-" she started, even knowing that it was more than pointless to argue with him. His safety was her number one concern, and because of that, she would go to whatever lengths needed to keep him safe.

"If you trust him," he shot Konan a pointed look, as if to remind her of how much she had talked about _trust_ and how the redhead should _trust_ the two of them; for they were in a situation far, far worse than the one Konan and himself were. "Then I do too."

* * *

><p>"Are you lying?" Sasori asked the blonde suspiciously as the latter peeked his head from where he was hiding, for the puppeteer was certain that his mind had not conjured that dream up on its own. No; this was some magic influence. There had to be.<p>

"Do you want me to be lying, un?" Deidara asked him in return with a few mock-innocent blinks of his blue eyes, as if he was actually going to change his answer to work with whatever Sasori's preferences were.

The Ace watched those sky blue eyes intently to figure out if he was lying or not as he responded, "If you were, then yes. If you weren't, just say it."

"I wasn't lying," he replied quickly, but not too quickly. Just quickly enough. "Now will you tell me what this sudden interrogation is for? I don't recall to have done anything to warrant myself for it, un..."

"Do you always use long words when you feel guilty?"

"No, I use them when I want to get out of trouble... Why, un?"

"No reason."

"And you expect me to believe that suddenly you do everything for 'no reason', un?" Deidara rolled his eyes here, "I know you're better than that. Way better, un."

He shrugged, "In that case, I have a reason and I don't want to share. Do you want breakfast?"

"While we're still discussing this, I have to throw in a random guess and say that you had a dream that included me and now you want to know if I put it in your head, un?"

"So you did do it," Sasori accused, even though that had hardly been a confession of any sort. He merely wanted to tell himself that it had been his partner's doing after all.

Deidara grinned, "Nope, only the other one you had before," He seemed to not want to address the previous dream further, for he quickly continued, "But I'm glad; it means that you do like me, un." Without giving Sasori a chance to respond, he set his feet on the floor and leant over to press a quick kiss to nowhere but on the other man's lips.

"I don't," Sasori hissed as he broke the contact. He would've been willing to admit that the other artist was his friend; the best friend he had ever had, actually. But anything beyond that just didn't exist. Really, it didn't. He would just have to convince Deidara of that as well.

"Keep on," Deidara murmured as he stood up, "Telling yourself that, un. I'll go see the damage from last night; I told you it would storm, un. And yes, I could actually eat something."

Sasori groaned, since he knew that convincing the blonde would take more than a few words or a few actions. It would take actual convincing and probably some banging of his head against the wall... But all in due time.

"Bread's fine by you, I hope."

* * *

><p>"The road's pretty much broken," Deidara suddenly announced, as if it was something that would topple their world upside down. Though there was no such thing, now that Sasori thought about it; there was his world and there was Deidara's. Nothing more. "But it won't probably keep any ANBUs away if today's the day when they decide to show up, so let's stay on our toes like we would on any other day, un." In his hands was the clay bird; it was almost finished, but Deidara still kept picking it up and saying he had found something that should still be worked on. Sasori had to admit that the amount of work and time spent on it showed, as it was by far even more beautiful and lively than the previous one had been.<p>

"…isn't he pretty?" Deidara murmured suddenly, moving the bird near Sasori's face with a grin, "And don't even try to tell me you weren't looking at him; you lagged staring at him for like, half a minute, un!"

"It's-"

"He," he corrected stubbornly, as if a clay bird's gender actually mattered, "His name is Katsu, and before you ask, I just made that up. But I like it, un."

"Katsu is nice," Sasori admitted with a sigh, since he was certain that disagreeing would just cause a huge argument, one he didn't need or want right now.

The blonde grinned proudly as he set the bird on the stand next to the bed. He seemed to have made it his self-proclaimed right to sit at the feet of the bed most time of the day, and Sasori didn't bother complaining, since there weren't really all too many places where the blonde could've been sitting. "You're welcome~" he murmured with a light bow and a hand motioned at the bird, "Happy birthday already, un." Sasori didn't bother asking him how the blonde knew; it was probably yet another thing he had memorized from what he was told of the person he was headed out to kill.

"When is your birthday?" he asked instead, since he wasn't lucky enough to be granted a scroll that would tell him everything he needed to know of the Joker.

Deidara leant towards him a bit, cooing, "Awww, you want to do something nice for me when it's my birthday~? How cute, un!" He chuckled before continuing, "In May. I'm turning eighteen in May, un."

"Eighteen? So you're seventeen now?" Sasori responded, "No way."

"What?" he asked, as if actually confused, "How old did you think I was, un?"

Now that he thought about it, Deidara couldn't have really been any older than that. Not with the childish sense of innocence he had kept even though he had been forced to suffer a lot. But still... He was too young to have been through so much.

"...sorry," he muttered quietly.

"Haha, it's nothing. People guess stuff like that wrong often. It's fine, un~" Deidara murmured, apparently not having understood what Sasori was apologizing for. And Sasori preferred to keep it that way.

"You're just a brat after all," he grunted instead.

"If that's what you want, danna~" Deidara murmured, leaning over to press yet another kiss to the Sasori's lips. "I'll be whatever you want, un," he murmured practically against the other's lips with a slight smile, "As long as it means that I can stay with you, un."

"Don't go sentimental on me," Sasori warned, "I still don't like you like that-"

"Yet," he cut in, "But you will. All in due time, but you will, un."

"Keep o-"

"Can I kiss you?" Deidara then cut in, surprising Sasori to a point. After all, the blonde had stolen at least five kisses from him before this, so why did he suddenly want an actual permission to do it?

"…dreaming. Why?"

"I like you," he repeated. And Sasori wasn't sure who he was trying to convince anymore - the redhead or himself – for he was seriously starting a sound like a broken record by now. "And I would like to kiss you because I like you, un." He rolled his eyes before continuing, "Isn't that already clear by now?"

And even though he had asked for a permission, he didn't actually wait for it, but calmly scooted closer to the redhead and kissing him gently, his head going to the back of the redhead's head to either pull him closer or to keep him from withdrawing from the kiss.

It was much like the kisses from earlier that day - the same caring passion, the same careful movement of his lips and the same unique taste that Sasori was starting to recognize of that of the blonde's - but it was still different. In a way, it felt like Deidara was actually doing his best to get across the message _Can't you see that I really do love you?_, and the mere thought of that almost made Sasori want to close his eyes and try to ignore all of the emotions thrown his way.

It was beyond insane, that the abused and hurt blonde could even conjure up that much love from the depths of his bruised heart, not to mention conjuring up that love for _him_. He felt so undeserving of it, for he hadn't actually been the kindest person to the blonde to begin with. There were so many things he could've easily done better, and many of them he would've actually changed if he could just turn back time, go there and do things differently. Of course, life didn't work that way.

But as he sat there, ever so hesitantly kissing the blonde back, he reasoned to himself...

He could start making a difference now.

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><p>...aww.<p>

And Nagato and Konan's conversation was slightly confusing on purpose, but with some canon-wise thinking, you should be able to make some sense to it. owo'

See you next Sunday?


	34. Trying

Hi! :D

It's four AM! Be proud; I'm typing just for you!

Thanks for reviewing! 250! Insane, is it not? It is. How come you're so awesome?

Up until earlier today (okay, it's past midnight here so yesterday), there were only four reviews for last chapter, and I was practically hell-bent on not updating until a fifth showed up (because I bet someone is out there reading what I'm typing here but not reviewing...), but then PsychoPyro went and added that fifth review I wanted. ^^ So if you wanted to dedicate this chapter to someone (I know I would), it'd go to **WhisperOfTheRose**, **AkumaNoDanna**, **KTDLover**, **OmNomNom** and **PsychoPyro**~ :) You guys rock!

And everyone else who's reading this rocks too. I just don't know whether you're there or not if you're this quiet... D:

Oh and ** OmNomNom **(get an account so I can spam you that way, you. X'D) and everyone else who's interested in deeper meanings behind things; Getting there! Take another look at ch. 20 and think of the Card Marks as they're mentioned... No wait, looks like I already listed them out for you;

_Jack of Diamonds_; Took me a while to recall who it is, actually. o.o But he's been mentioned; briefly as ever. You can't really know his Card Mark; it wasn't mentioned. Refer to ch. 15-17, he's somewhere around there.

_King of Diamonds_: :)

_Queen of Hearts_: Her suit was mentioned once. Sasori knew her.

_Two of Diamonds_: You should know this too. :)

_Seven & Eight of Spades_: Refer you to the first pairing that was sort of obvious here. Sasori didn't like it.

_Jack of Clubs_: Go ahead a look back to the first chapters. There's that typo I should fix but...

_Nine of Clubs_: Another of Deidara's friends, right? Can't recall if the Card Mark was mentioned... I think it was. Maybe.

_Three of Diamonds_: You should know it~ Deidara knew her, obviously.

See how helpful I am? Hope no one's annoyed by a long A/N, but how else should I tell you guys about these things? Especially when _someone has no account..._Haha.

If someone retrieves me one or few of these, or at least tries to... I don't know, I would worship the ground you walk on and beg for a chance to write you a request story or something... Really. I'm easy to please.

Well, I suppose for your mental health, we could get to the chapter itself, right?

**Words:** 2,579 :D  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> En omista~ Don't own in Finnish!  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>:)

There's a star * near the beginning; look out for it because I'll tell you about it in the other A/N. :)

Here's chapter 34; _'Trying'_~

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><p>Deidara didn't pull away that time. Not when Sasori kissed him back, not when the redhead tugged him closer by his shirt, not even when Sasori's lungs were screaming for air.<p>

No, pulling away was something that was up to Sasori to do, since his lungs felt like they would burst any moment now.

And when he did that, he saw that Deidara was smirking at him, seeming ever so proud with himself.

The blonde even got the chance to open his mouth and make a sound that started like an _I_ before Sasori moved his hand on the other's mouth, managing to cut him off before he really said anything.

"Don't say it," the redhead told him, because he really didn't want to hear another 'See? I told you you'd fall for me~'-lecture. "We can try this... But without talking about it. I just can't..."

Deidara nodded.* "I understand, un," he murmured, "It's difficult to accept these kind of things and I don't expect you to do so right away. I just want you to give me that chance to show you that this -_us_- could work out, un."

"I think I can do that," Sasori agreed quietly.

The Joker was just about to lean in for another kiss when a knock on the door caused him to falter.

"Hide," Sasori hissed, kicking him lightly and pushing him away. There would most likely be time for another kiss later (he wanted to kick himself for even reasoning that in the first place), and the chance of them having ANBU corps at their door was far too great a threat for him to be making out with a criminal sentenced for death while they broke down the door.

Deidara did as told, quickly making his way through the small house and disappearing from sight while Sasori rose to a chair to look through a small window near the ceiling.

After finding out who was at the door, he was actually rather quick to open it.

"Master Pain," Sasori murmured, bowing. He might not have been the most good-mannered person on earth, but he sure as _hell_knew that when the leader of a country, no matter how small or far (because Amegakure was both of those, really), walked through your door, you had to treat them like the royals they were. "To what do I own this great honor?"

"You certainly act much more civil than the last time we met, _Sasori Akasuna_," Pain acknowledged, seeming slightly amused by the fact. "No need for all that now, either."

"Dei, come out from wherever it is that you're hiding," a familiar voice sounded from behind him, "You know we're not going to hurt you."

Upon hearing Konan's voice, a blonde head popped up from underneath the bed, and Deidara quickly crawled out of there. "Sorry," he murmured, "Just have to be sure... the ANBU, un."

"It's okay," Konan responded, "Mind if we come in?"

Deidara easily beat Sasori to saying 'of course not', which annoyed Sasori to some extent.

Once they were inside, Deidara politely sat on the floor while Konan and Pain settled on the kitchen table chairs. Sasori managed to find a third chair and drag it near the table as well.

"Awkward much..." Deidara muttered so quietly that Sasori, being the nearest to him, was most likely the only one to hear the words.

"Well, I figured that even though we already know each others' Card Marks, it would be good manners to show them," Konan murmured, leaning against the back of the chair, "After that... Explanations would most certainly be needed from someone and someone else, I suppose."

Sasori was certain that she was going to ask about _them_, but he really wasn't willing to talk about _them_...

Pain pulled up his right sleeve, murmuring, "King of Diamonds, as you already know..."

"So it is the same guy..." Deidara muttered to himself quietly, though his eyes were on Sasori, as if speaking to the redhead.

Konan turned her left wrist around. "Three of Clubs. Nice to meet you again."

Sasori tugged his collar down and wordlessly stretched his neck.

And suddenly all eyes were on Deidara, who frowned, hesitated, then looked up at Sasori in hopes of some strange reassurance.

The redhead let his eyes flicker to the blonde, nodding his head slightly.

The knot in his shirt was opened (why he kept knotting it in the first place was a mystery; most of the time there were only him and Sasori there), and the Joker unhappily tugged his fringe from his face, holding it for a few seconds before letting it fall back down and re-knotting his shirt.

"Nagato?" the blonde murmured hesitantly, "If you wanted us to see you as _Pain_, why didn't you cast the illusion after coming here, un?"

The addressed male shrugged. "Wanted to test your boyfriend's morals and lack of, since you're going to need all the help you can get... But it seems like you're in remotely good hands."

A part of Sasori, to be honest, wanted to gather Deidara in his arms and sneer at Pain to let him know that he wouldn't be willing to give the blonde up even if he wasn't treating him quite as well as he should be…

But for the sake of his own sanity, Sasori wouldn't do that. Because he didn't… okay, that was starting to sound like a lie for all he knew.

"I am," Deidara responded with a tentative smile, "But if I may ask… Explanations on your part, un? Why the whole illusion-thing and the secretive name-using and… why all this, un?"

"You know of the Suna civil war, right?" Pain asked, his eyes looking between the two other men, who both nodded.

"And the reasons behind it?" Pain continued, causing Sasori to tilt his head in thought.

"Not really, to be honest. I thought it was about… political differences or something of the sort?" From the corner of his eye, Sasori could see Deidara shaking his head.

"Assassins," the blonde murmured, "Jokers. The Kazekage… Gaara-sama, didn't approve it from the start. When he was made Kazekage, it was clear that the whole assassin system would soon be gone, in Suna at least, un. However, there were a lot of people, mostly less fortunate and bitter, who didn't want to get rid of the system; who actually wanted the higher ranks dead." His eyes moved to Sasori a few times as he spoke, and he bit his lip as if he was worried.

"The civil war soon brewed between the people who want the system gone and between the people who want the higher ranks dead at any costs, un. May I ask, however, what this has to do with the whole Pain-Nagato-thing?"

Pain nodded, clearly impressed with Deidara's knowledge. Then again, knowledge such as that was probably what had kept him alive up until now…

"The whole Nagato-Pain deal is because I'm on Gaara's side in the war," Pain muttered, "And it makes me, and Angel," he nodded in Konan's direction lightly, "for that matter, targets just like him. So to ensure as much safety as one can have out in the streets, I'm only _Pain_ when dealing with business. Most of the time, there's just Nagato and Konan."

"You two are so cute~!" Deidara announced, suddenly seeming to decide to ignore the whole seriousness of the situation in favour of cooing to his knew friends. "I was thinking, the other day, if you two were together or not. But one would have to be deaf," he rolled his eyes lightly, ending it with looking at Sasori as if blaming him for something, "Not to have heard of Angel. It's an honour to meet you in person, un!" He took her hand and kissed it lightly after his second sentence.

"Don't do that," Pain hissed, though seeming kind of amused as he did, "Sasori will be jealous."

Konan turned to grin at the redhead, practically bouncing off her seat in excitement. "Oh yeah! I forgot to ask! Have you two gotten anywhere with your relationship yet? What with being reunited and all, I sure hope so~"

When Deidara opened his mouth, Sasori couldn't help but groan (on the inside, of course). He was certain that the blonde was going to flaunt how oh-so-far he had got with Sasori and how he had the redhead right where he had wanted him and how soon he would-

"Nope," the blonde sighed dejectedly, twirling his hair around his finger lightly, "Haven't even managed to steal a kiss from him since I got back, un."

"Pity," Konan sighed unhappily, frowning as she did, "But I guess it's given; he still has a lot of work that needs to be done."

"Working on it," Deidara responded with a cheeky grin and glassy eyes.

Deidara had _not_ taken their pity and dragged himself down for the sake of doing like he knew Sasori wanted him to do. How the hell did he even know that Sasori wanted that? How could he understand so quickly when it was time to throw the relentless teasing aside for the sake of making Sasori feel for comfortable.

"Back to the more serious side of the situation," Sasori interrupted, feeling like his face would start burning any moment now and not exactly wanting them to see it. It was a strange, strange feeling. "If the assassin-thing were to be stopped in Suna, what would that mean here?"

Deidara rolled his eyes again. "Don't you really know? I would be free, well, as free as a Joker can be while still being a Joker, un. I wouldn't have to kill you," he responded easily. As if he was used to using those lines practically every other day, or at least every other week.

Pain seemed interested in this detail, "So you're part of the deal?"

The blonde nodded casually, poking at his socks. "Yup. Not out of a choice, naturally. The deal Mizukage-sama made with me was pretty clear; either I kill Sasori or it's off with my head. I was sort of conflicted with the idea back then; when I was younger and had never even met Sasori. I know what I'd do now, though, un."

It seemed as if all of them were sort of waiting for Deidara to continue, but the blonde didn't. There was just this happy grin on his face and a happy, satisfied glint in his eyes. Maybe the fault was in Sasori, but he couldn't for his life figure what it was that the clown would do, given a blade (oh wait, he didn't need one, he kept one with him at all times...) and the choice between his life and Sasori's.

Pain reached over the distance to softly pat the blonde on his back, and Konan gave him one of those supportive smiles. Apparently they had done far better job understanding the Joker than he had, and judging by their actions, they knew that Deidara would drive the blade into his own chest before killing off Sasori.

He shook his head slightly; he wasn't sure if he could do that for the blonde. He wasn't sure if he could do that for anyone, for that matter.

"So yeah," Deidara continued, apparently having had enough of the flaunting of the heroicness of his supposedly already planned act. "I've had my part of that thing. I'd be more than delighted, were someone to give an end to it all, un. So if you ever need help with anything about anything..."

"You'll be there," Pain ended the thought for him, nodding. "I certainly appreciate it."

"It's the least I can do," Deidara responded with a smile. How he managed to always keep that attitude throughout most situations, Sasori would probably never find out. Maybe it was a personality trait he had gained by surviving all those hardships he had faced in life... Then again, had all that happened to Sasori, he would have most likely only become bitter. It was probably something about the blonde, and Sasori couldn't actually claim that he didn't like it. "You guys saved my life, un!"

Pain shrugged modestly. "I was lucky; passed by at the right time I guess."

Sasori sort of looked up at the ceiling, not exactly wanting to think about all that could have happened to Deidara after he let the blonde storm off, when he wasn't feeling too healthy, either.

"Sasori saved my life too, once, un~" Deidara continued happily.

"Really?" Konan asked him, seeming interested all of a sudden. "Do tell!"

The blonde looked at the puppeteer, seeming to search for a permission to share the whole story with the other too.

He shrugged in response. "Go ahead. I'll just cut you off if you say something stupid."

And surprisingly accurately, Deidara shared the story of the day when he and Sasori had been out in the streets and how they had a run-in with the ANBU corps. How he hid in the corridors while Sasori gave them false information without even knowing what the situation was all about.

"Glad to hear you're in good hands," Konan murmured, smiling fondly. Sasori really had no idea if he had absolutely _missed_ something within the three days that Deidara wasn't in his line of vision 24/7 or if Deidara and Konan were just incredibly fit to be friends and had bonded right away. He supposed that when Konan had found a liking to Deidara, Pain had just followed her... Either that, or Deidara's personality was just too irresistible. Whatever.

"Thanks," Sasori muttered, only slightly sarcastic even though his voice sounded like a sharp blade that was mostly made of sarcasm and then dropped into a huge bowl filled with melted sarcasm, and then-

Okay, so maybe Sasori's descriptions were not all that great. More likely than not, Deidara could have worded that one better as well... He was good with words. Better than Sasori, anyway.

After that, there was a lot of meaningless chit-chatter. The only things Sasori found even remotely important were the fact that Pain had said something about a meeting between the Kages in the immediate future, what with discussing the situation with Suna and Jokers and everything. Sasori couldn't really do anything but hope that they could fix things.

The other fact wasn't as groundbreaking, but it was important regardless; they had promised to start bringing food for the two males once in a while. And that was really good, since Sasori had been noticing that Deidara didn't eat enough, had probably never eaten enough and would probably never eat enough before the day when there would be food going to waste if he didn't eat it.

After the two (finally) made their leave, not without promises to come back soon, though, there were questions, more questions and some arguments that swarmed around and around in Sasori's head.

It was strange enough that Deidara would lie for his sake; for him to lie to some of his closest friends as it was, but even that was topped by the little detail that apparently, Deidara would _die_for him.

"You're insane," Sasori hissed instead of any protests that immediately popped into his mind.

"So I've been told," Deidara replied just as comfortably as he had before, a blank expression on his face but a smile in his eyes. "I love you, un."

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><p>About the star ^ I went to get myself something to drink after typing up until to that star (ended up with an almost empty carton of milk. I love milk.) and gave mum my laptop, telling her to continue writing from there. Here's what she wrote:<p>

(Deidara nodded, ")we can goto the seaside together" Sasorinoddedeagerly and went on stretching his hans as ifswimmung already " ihave allways loved seashells

She dared me to post it, but since it's kind of awkward with the story... Well, there you go. I think it's kind of cute. I get my love for writing for my dad, but my big bro and big sis are both more talented than him. He says that I am too but I dunno. x.x

If you're reading my mindless, energy drink-influenced and tired, love-struck typing, a review would be cool. Let me know you're there. Now that I got all of the A/N down, it's over half past 4 AM. Oops... But I'm doing my best for you guys because you deserve that and much more. :)

See you next Sunday~?


	35. ZERO

HI!

I'll ask this while I still have your attention; how many of you would be strongly opposed or in favor of me writing a lemon or possibly two or something somewhere in this story? Because I've had several people ask me about it and if you don't want it at all, I don't have to post it. :P

Sorry for being this late with the update; I had a really long weekend and we got hit by a storm last night so I couldn't update. DD:

And thanks for reviewing, you~ I promised AkumaNoDanna to mention how I'd worship her because she got all of the Card Marks in ch. 20 down after some MSNing and such~

Other than that, THANKIES. I love you all who are reading this. Hurrr I really do. You're the umbrella to my rainy days~

**Words:** 2,239  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Here's breaking news: I don't own anything but the plot~!  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Confusing timeline. Ask me if it's too confusing.

Here goes, ch. 35; _'ZERO'_. Capitalized for a reason. Find its companion chapter, get cookies!

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><p>Sasori planted his face into the kitchen table, groaning at the blonde's words. He hated the way the other man was making him feel, what with the way he was smiling at Sasori like it was nothing – like it didn't matter that the redhead couldn't say anything that would've been even remotely nice back to him, let alone a love confession such as that -, and with the way he would just calmly proclaim his affection as if he really did love Sasori. Which he couldn't, not in reality. It was just impossible to even consider that.<p>

"I don't expect anything from you, you know," Deidara then murmured, still smiling with his eyes from what Sasori could make from his tone, "I just wanted to let you know. There's no need for you to do anything, un."

"I'm not worth it," the redhead replied simply, mumbling with his cheek still rested against the tabletop.

"I'm not saying that you are," he responded, "But I still love you, un."

"Can you stop that?" Sasori hissed, raising his head to glare at the blonde.

Deidara was still smiling as he tugged the redhead closer to him. "I'm only telling you the truth," he whispered before lowering his lips to the redhead's.

Surprisingly enough, Deidara let everything stay the same for a long while. He really did seem content with just being there and letting Sasori _know_ every once in a while by telling him in a soft, adoring voice or pressing a soft, tentative kiss to the other man's lips.

Everything stayed so unchanging that it was honestly making Sasori feel slightly insecure. How was he honestly expected to believe that things could stay this way when the ANBU was after them at all times. It just couldn't work. Not when the situation was like it was.

Deidara wasn't as suspicious, however. He certainly seemed to be taking everything he could out of living, as if he wasn't worried about the ANBU in the slightest. This sort of annoyed Sasori on its own, since the blonde was in one hell of a trouble, especially if their none too clever hiding place were to be discovered... If that happened, they would both be as good as dead.

Pain had recently left to the meeting of the Kages. Why he was even invited in the first place was a mystery to Sasori, but he supposed that they wouldn't dare leave a leader of a powerful country uninvited in fear of what he could do meanwhile.

And of course, when the redhead was gone, Konan had followed him. It wasn't like she would let him go alone; she had said it herself that if he got hurt - killed, more likely than anything - she would die with him.

After they left, Sasori and Deidara soon had to face the inevitable; they could only live for so long without anyone there to get them new supplies, food or mostly water.

When Sasori brought it up, Deidara shrugged. "It was to be expected all along. When we have to, one of us is going to go out there, un. More than likely it's going to be me; I can cast an illusion when I do. Nothing else to it, un." Apparently, in his little world, that fixed everything.

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><p>One morning when Sasori woke up, Deidara wasn't sleeping at his feet and hadn't toppled on the floor like he sometimes did.<p>

No; the blonde was sitting by the kitchen table, looking sort of dazed and more tired than not.

"It was storming last night," he muttered disinterestedly when he noticed Sasori's questioning stare, "I hadn't really known that it could storm that much in the spring but apparently, it's possible, un."

"Huh," Sasori responded blankly, drawing himself up into a sitting position. "I didn't even notice."

"Yeah, you slept like a baby; drooling and snoring. I was awake, though. All night long, un."

"You could've woken me up."

Deidara smiled lightly at the offer. "I know, I know. I figured that if it got any worse, I would wake you up, un. Besides, I couldn't sleep even though I tried - it's not like I stayed up all night because I wanted to watch over your sleep, un."

"Good. No sense in sitting up all night worrying about it," Sasori agreed, though he could see that that most definitely hadn't been all that was bothering the blonde. No; there had to be something else behind all this.

"Go ahead; 'fess up," the redhead told him, trying to resist the urge to roll his eyes, "I know that's not all there is to it."

Deidara looked away from him distantly, letting the words hang in the air eerily before finally responding with a shrug and quiet words, "All the snow is gone, un."

And that was true; the lasts of the snow had melted the week before, and no matter how much Sasori kept insisting, it hadn't snowed since.

"So that's what you've been thinking about all along?"

"Uh-huh," Deidara offered him as an answer, "I was thinking about going tomorrow, but I figured I'd give you a heads up before doing it so that you wouldn't blame-"

"Hold on." Oh right, Sasori had never given the talk he had been planning, about how the blonde would most definitely _not_ leave his house as soon as all the snow melted. It had just slipped from his mind, apparently. "I'll make this clear right here and now; you're going no where. I thought you already understood that much before. I may not love you, but I do tolerate enough to prefer that you're within my line of vision at all times."

"Really, un?" Deidara asked with wide-ish eyes. It was sort of frustrating, really, that he couldn't understand it, no matter how many times Sasori had tried to make it clear to him.

"Really really. If you really love me like you claim to, it's pretty insane that you keep trying to get rid of me all the time."

The blonde shrugged lightly, smiling. "I guess I just don't want to be a bother, un... I mean, you're an Ace, yet you're stuck here with me when you could have the world... It makes me feel bad, un."

"You're only a bother when you keep trying to leave all the time," Sasori informed him, "I'm getting sick of thinking up ways to make you stay."

"Well..." Deidara drawled slowly, "Okay then. But you have to tell me if you get second thoughts and want to get rid of me after all, un."

"Yeah, I will."

The blonde stood up, appearing to want to initiate another tender kiss, but cut off by a knock on the door.

The two of them exchanged glances - who could it be? - and Sasori held up a finger, wanting the blonde to stay quiet for a while, at least until they found out who it was. The redhead then made for the door, quietly, carefully, and opened it.

"Sasori Akasuna, correct?"

_Shit shit shit shit shit..._

The man in question spared a glance behind himself before responding with a curt nod. "I am. What would be enough to warrant me with this many _ANBU corps_ at my door?" he asked, stressing the part about the ANBU in hopes of giving Deidara the sign.

"You'll be sentenced with death for associating yourself with a Joker," the man responded emotionlessly. "To make this as painless as possible, I suggest that you come with us without a fight. And if you were to turn in the Joker in question... Let's just say that it might change the current decision concerning your own fate."

Sasori whirled around, scrambling back a few steps before his gaze fell upon Deidara's shoes near the doorway. _The blade!_

He took it in his hand, turning around again. He then raised it and held it pointed towards the ANBU. "_Not a chance_," he hissed angrily.

There was a loud crash behind him, and Sasori quickly gave up the excuse he had in mind (_it's my cat, he must've broken something again_), tugged the door closed (smashing it against the ANBU as he did) and ran for it.

He reasoned that since Deidara was nowhere to be seen and there had been that crash just a while ago, the blonde must have broken something and escaped. And since nothing looked too broken, it was probably the window of the puppet room.

Sasori couldn't really focus on anything but running away, so saving any prized possessions didn't exactly cross his mind at that moment, and he only tugged something from the table before making his escape.

When he got to the room filled with puppets, some of which were hanging off the ceiling, he saw that he was indeed right. A chair had been thrown through the window, causing it to break nearly completely. The redhead then tugged one of the puppets to the floor, hoping to slow the yelling ANBU corps at least a little.

He got outside through the window - for once thankful for his small size - and ran mindlessly in some completely random direction until some grabbed his wrist.

Sasori immediately raised the knife, looking at the person to determine where he should stab them to cause as much damage as he could.

"_Sasori!_" he hissed, tugging his red hair from his face to meet the Ace's eyes. Damn it all, he _hated_ illusions. "You can stab me later, but please, please, _please_, let's make a run for it first, un?"

The man addressed huffed, nodding slowly and tugging the other into a run.

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><p>He wasn't sure how long it had been, but his lungs were burning and his feet felt like they would give out at any moment and he had absolutely no idea where they were.<p>

"The graveyard," Deidara supplied helpfully, sitting down on one of the rocks. "Or the area on the other side of it to be exact. I slept here a night or two. It's sort of comfortable but more creepy than not, un."

"Are you suggesting that we should stay _here_?" Sasori asked him, appalled by the idea.

"For the time being," Deidara murmured in agreement, "Since there aren't really too many places we can go to without the ANBU finding us, un. This may not even be the most secure place there is, but they shouldn't find us here all too soon, so…"

Sasori nodded with a sigh, sitting down himself. "If you think it's safe, then I guess you're right…"

Deidara snapped his fingers at that, getting rid of the illusion and returning to being himself again. "Trust me on this," he responded, nodding himself.

"Did you throw that chair through the window?" Sasori asked after a while. It was unnerving how quiet Deidara was being, what with how cheery and talkative he usually was. And because of this, the redhead was pretty sure that just like earlier that morning (had it only been that morning?), something was bothering the blonde.

"Who else?"

"That was a smart move."

"Panicked."

"…what are we going to do?"

"Dunno."

Sasori sighed. He would just have to try again a little later, probably.

"…how did you stand this kind of life for so long?"

"There was a time when I didn't know of better, un."

That was when the redhead got tired of _waiting _for Deidara to snap out of it. He really had a short temper with these things, admittedly.

"…tell me what's wrong. I'm sick and tired of making a conversation," he all but pleaded the blonde, "Tell me and we'll fix it, okay?"

Deidara looked up from his fingernails, which he had been picking at for the better part of the hour. "You can't fix it, un."

"I can try if you tell me."

"….you know that they'll burn your house down, right? Mostly because they don't want to let us go back there, but also out of fear of us having some black sorcery or something there, un… All your puppets will be burnt down too…"

Sasori bit his lip as he nodded. He had suspected something like that, after all. He might have done something like that if it was up to him, and he did have _some_knowledge of how the ANBU operated.

"I'm so, so, _so_ sorry," Deidara whimpered, his voice breaking as he curled up to himself. Sasori could even see some tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, and that _hurt _him. "I'm causing nothing but grief to you… I'm starting to believe what people say about Jokers, un."

"Don't say that," the redhead hissed, "You've done nothing wrong; it's not your fault they want you dead. I know you never wanted to be a Joker or anything, so don't blame yourself for it."

"But-"

Sasori pressed his lips to the blonde's momentarily, telling himself it was only because he wanted him to _shut up_but knowing that wasn't all. "It's just a house and they're just puppets. I'm just glad we're both in one piece and alright."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the man he used to be was hissing at him for ever saying something like that, but the grateful, albeit sad smile that lit up Deidara's face was more than enough to silence it.

"I am too, un."

Drown in the saddish fluffish substance that is this chapter.

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	36. Pretend

Oheyo~

It's 3:30 PM!

I'm tired.

Thanks for reviewing, you~

I had a sort of weird day today, so if the chapter reflects that, I don't take the blame for that. |D 

If you're here for an actual chapter and not just me ranting, here you go~ And if you're interested, it's dedicated to people who are reading this... people who reviewed, faved, the works. Specifically I want to mention _Laughmaker_ because I can and _AkumaNoDanna_ and _2kitsune_ because they're patient when I'm slow~ /which is most of the time, really |D

**Words:** 2,011 (blah)  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I don't own!  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Like I said, I had a weird day. And I wrote this when I was tired, too...

Here's chapter 36; _'Pretend'!_

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><p>Of course, that wasn't all there was to it; it would've been insane if Deidara actually got over driving Sasori out of his own home like that. But Sasori could see that he was trying; trying not to bring it up too often, trying to stop thinking about it as much as he was, trying to think of something else to talk about.<p>

"Do you ever miss your parents?" Deidara asked him lazily.

No matter how pathetic his attempts were sometimes.

Sasori shrugged. "I don't really think about that all too often," he replied without much thought, "But I suppose... If I missed them too much, I would've gone to visit them when I still had a chance. Either that, or I would've never left in the first place. What about yourself?"

The blonde looked up at the sky as he answered, "I miss my mother sometimes. Besides, it would've been cool if she got to meet you... I mean, I think she would've liked you, un. But I'm glad father's dead and buried."

"He's dead?" Sasori blinked, "I think you missed telling me that..."

"Oh?" Deidara replied, going all distant again. "I guess I forgot to mention it, un."

"Do you know anyone whose grave is around here, un?" he asked after a while, as if the previous conversation had never even taken place.

"No," he offered the blonde simply, not willing to flaunt the fact that he really wasn't from around here, because that would lead Deidara back to thinking about _home_. "Do you?"

Deidara shrugged. "Other than the… The one I showed you, I don't think so, un," he replied hesitantly.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault," the clown responded distantly, staring at the ground with his head rested on his hand while the other continuously poked the ground with a stick. It seemed that he had once again remembered something that he thought was _his fault._

Sasori was supposed to remind him that it wasn't actually his fault, that it might have happened either way, that Sasori had actually meant it when he said when he said he was just happy that they were both there, alive and together-

But Deidara cut him off before he even started by raising his hand (the one he had been leaning on). "Don't say it, un."

"You don't know-"

"You were going to tell me not to blame myself, un," Deidara cut him off, nodding to himself.

Sasori frowned, not wanting to be as obvious as he apparently was. "No I wasn't," he insisted bitterly.

Deidara raised a curious eyebrow, looking up at him. "Oh really?" he asked, "What were you going to say, then?"

"I was going to ask you if you were tired," Sasori offered him randomly, "I think I could sleep for a few hours, at least..."

"Not really," the blonde murmured indifferently drawing into a more proper sitting position, "But I could sleep, if you wanted to, un."

Sasori nodded, "I could... But I still didn't quite understand how we can sleep out here... Isn't it going to get cold at night?"

Deidara looked towards the horizon for a few seconds before shrugging. "I'll wake you up before you freeze yourself, promise. And I'll show you how you can sleep out here, un." He motioned for the redhead to move closer, which he didn't obey to, since he didn't quite understand _why exactly_ he should do that.

"I'm not going to _bite_ you," the Joker murmured, appearing to be kind of amused, but more compassionate than not. Then again, he seemed to get some kicks of making fun of Sasori, so that wasn't all too surprising on its own. "Come here, un."

Unhappily (because he wasn't afraid of being bitten, damnit), Sasori scooted closer to him, his muddy eyes narrowed in suspicion.

When he was within an arm's reach, Deidara pulled the redhead close to his body, wrapping both of his arms around the other man and resting his chin on the red strands of hair.

"What are-" Sasori started in a hiss, only to be cut off by a chuckle from the blue-eyed man.

"Shhh," Deidara quieted him down lazily, "I'll keep you warm. And I'll wake you up if anything comes up, un."

"Aren't you going to sleep?" Sasori asked him, suddenly too tired, warm and comfortable to fight him off.

"Sure I am," he replied with a faint, audible smile, "After you fall asleep, I'll sleep as well, un."

Sasori was almost certain that the other was lying, but he was only doing it for Ace's sake, so it was alright.

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><p>"I don't think I've ever seen anything that... bad."<p>

_Bad as in torn in half in the middle and then cut up again and again and again and then bled to death._

"I have," Deidara responded immediately, raising the man's arm (that was an arm, right?) and appearing to search for a pulse for a few fleeting seconds before letting it drop from his hand again.

_I have as in an answer that was positive when it should be everything but that. He should be crying and denying it all and saying anything but I have. _

"When?" Sasori asked, "What?" Because Deidara was too young to have seen something like this. It wasn't fair.

"Yesterday," the blonde shrugged indifferently, standing up and brushing his hands and his blade – _why did he even have that in his hand? _- on his pants, "How do you think he died?"

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><p>"Care to remind me, why are we in the forest again?" Sasori asked Deidara annoyedly, mostly because the blonde seemed so determined and happy and cheerful, and Sasori didn't even understand <em>what for<em>.

"The ghost!" the blonde reminded him happily, as if it explained everything. "The one that's been turning everyone into ghosts, un!"

"But if the ghost turns people into ghosts, isn't there a lot of ghosts for us to search for, then?"

"Oh," Deidara murmured, stopping to blink. "Oh, right. Well, don't worry about it. I'm here, and since I'm here, we'll find them all. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"But-" Sasori started, wanting to argue with the logic and lack of.

The blonde merely spun around, "Leave it all up to me~" he announced so cheerfully that it was almost frightening on its own. "I have it all under control, un~"

"I trust you," the redhead promised him lazily, though he knew it was true.

"...hey, do you know what the ghost looks like, un?"

"Of course not," Sasori told him, rolling his eyes, "This was your idea. I know nothing about this."

"Well, it's really scary!" Deidara murmured, apparently trying to convince him, "It looks almost normal - at first - but then you get close and it flashes as if hit by a lightning, and you can see its bones through it's skin when that happens! And then when you touch it, you get electrocuted as well, un!"

"Okay, that sounds scary," Sasori admitted for his sake, "But how are we supposed to do that."

"I'll tell you~" Deidara replied happily, "But first you have to wake up, un."

"What?"

"Wake up. C'mon, Sasori. You've been sleeping long enough already, un..."

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><p>His eyes fluttered open, but he wasn't exactly willing to wake up yet. "No... You have to tell me how to find the ghost first..."<p>

Deidara unwrapped his arms from where they were around the redhead's waist, letting him fall forward and hit his face on the ground.

"Hey...!" he complained as he drew himself back up, glaring at the blonde.

"Well, you weren't waking up, un," Deidara murmured with a shrug, as if that made it all fair. "And it's getting kind of cold, so I figured that we could... go on a walk or something. Stay warm, un."

"Do we have to?"

"The alternative is that I keep you warm and freeze myself, so actually... yes, un."

Sighing, Sasori reluctantly agreed to go on a walk with the blonde, though only after noticing that it was kind of foggy and more or less chilly, which led him into thinking that Deidara hadn't probably just said that because he felt like it, but because he actually _was_ getting cold.

"Fine, let's go on your stupid walk, then."

Deidara drew himself up on his feet, then tugging Sasori up by his arm. "Thank you," he muttered, and Sasori wasn't certain if he was sarcastic or not, "I'm glad you're giving me five minutes of your time after I've spent _all night_ trying to keep you warm, un."

Okay, so he _was_ being sarcastic.

"Are you sure we won't run into any ANBU corps?" Sasori asked him, possibly a little paranoid. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, fingering the item he had saved from his house earlier that day.

"Of course I'm not sure," Deidara told him in a scoff, "But one can _never_ be sure when they're going to run into ANBU corps. Never, un. And the chances of running into them are smaller if we're on the move, you know?"

"I guess I'll just trust what you say... But if you get us killed, I'll kill you,"

Deidara laughed lightly at that. "Go ahead and try; I'm ending up in hell when I die, and you're going to have trouble getting there, un~"

"What have you done that's bad enough to get you in hell for?" Sasori asked him with a blink of his eyes.

The blonde looked appalled by that, enough to see even in the dark. "What haven't I done to get in hell for, un?" he turned the question around easily, "You're not really going to make me list all my bad deeds, are you? The Deity would never accept me in heaven..."

Sasori shrugged. "I don't think you're that bad," he said simply, "Just unfortunate. None of the shit from before has been your fault, as has been mentioned."

Deidara looked at him seriously from the corner of his eye, "I think that the fact that all these bad things always seem to find me is enough to make it clear that I must have done something wrong..."

"You just want me to comfort you and prove you wrong, don't you?" the former puppeteer asked him, sighing.

"I wouldn't mind it, I suppose..." he replied with a slight grin.

Sasori pulled him close sort of easily, tugging him down and pressing a kiss on his cheek. "You're not going to hell, brat."

"With what logic?" Deidara asked him with a smirk, staying in the crooked position which he was in and breathing against Sasori's cheek as he spoke.

"I thought it was obvious..." Sasori groaned, "Because art is eternal, of course."

"...only that it's not..." the younger man replied, rolling his eyes lightly, "But thank you either way. I think I appreciate the effort, un."

"You'd better. That sounded like some awful attempt to hit on you."

"Let me pretend that it was one?" Deidara asked him with a slightly wavering voice and clear eyes.

Sasori was going to give him a negative answer, but never got the chance to do that, because Deidara decided that that was a good moment to press a kiss on his lips.

"I love you," the blonde murmured airily when they parted, and before Sasori got the chance to object, he continued by saying, "And like I told you before; I'm going to keep telling you that until you return it. Until you can stop 'trying'. Until we can stop pretending, un."

With that, they kept on walking, Deidara going ahead by a few steps and Sasori traipsing after me, more or less lost in thought.

Sometime soon, he promised himself, he would tell Deidara that he didn't want to keep pretending, because he wanted to try for real, be the love the blonde deserved.

"Hey, I think we've been walking in circles."

Deidara turned around, picking out his tongue, which shone in the moonlight. "I wasn't aware that you wanted to go somewhere, un."

Sometime soon.

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><p>Oh, the latter of Sasori's dreams is loosely based on a nightmare I had once. Though in that thing, the ghost was getting people close to me one by one until I was alone. D: And then it got me too. DD:<p>

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See you next Sunday?


	37. Omen

Heyo!

...I am alive!

Did anyone else miss this? I know I did... D:

Two words as to why I've been out of here lately: high school. |D It eats so much of my time that I only come home to do my math homework, eat and sleep.

But, but, but, I took my time to write this, two words for that too: you guys. :) Thanks for everything. Eeeeverything. I hope I'm worth it. Sorry for taking so long with this. D:

Oh and beautiful girlfriend of mine, do I get kisses for this? *smiles*

**Words:** 2,119  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Nah.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>...still don't own...?

Go on, here's chapter 37; _'Omen'_  
>And here's a secret: There may be around nine or so chapters to go... or maybe I'm just saying that because it rhymes. :)<p>

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><p>"Look!" Deidara suddenly murmured, effectively stirring Sasori from his thoughts. He then turned around to show the redhead whatever it was that he had discovered this time.<p>

When Sasori looked over (reluctantly, mind you), he found it to be a raven, that was currently sitting on Deidara's shoulder. It was like one of those that had haunted his dreams a lot, only smaller and with that, more realistic as well.

"Isn't he cute?" the Joker propped on, and without giving Sasori much of a chance to respond, stuffed the bird sitting on his arm too close for comfort to Sasori's face. "I already named him, too!" Sasori wanted to question _when exactly, _but didn't get a chance to do so before Deidara continued, gleefully as ever, "His name's Itachi, un!"

"Put that bird away," Sasori sneered, as if talking about an item or tool of some sort, rather than an actual animal. To be fair, he did not actually consider that _thing_ a living creature. It was a _raven_, after all. "Nothing good ever comes out of ravens. Those birds are flying bad omens, brat."

Deidara frowned at that. "I thought you were over all those _bad omen_things... I mean, aren't I one too, if you want to think about life that way, un?" he tugged at his hair as if as a reminder the other man of his Card Mark. Not that anyone would forget it that easily, even if they wanted to. And Sasori certainly wanted to…

"That's different," he replied immediately, "It's not your fault that you're... that way." He still kind of preferred to leave the _J-O-K-E-R _word out of their conversations; not only could someone be listening, but he would've preferred if he could just... ignore it, for once.

"So what you're saying is..." Deidara translated, tilting his head with a disbelieving frown, "That you're blaming Itachi for being born as a bird, un."

"No, I wasn't saying that," he hissed, not really knowing a more proper way to explain how he had meant that it wasn't Deidara's fault because he was _Deidara_.

"Whatever," the clown replied with a frown, "Itachi isn't a bad omen and I'll prove it to you, un!"

"How do-"

"We're going to follow him wherever he wants to take us," the blonde continued stubbornly, "And stay there for the night, un. That way you'll see that nothing bad is going to happen!"

"And if-"

"No _ifs_ here! It's going to be alright!"

And since the plan had seemed shady and bound to fail to begin with, Sasori knew that he should've just kept with what he knew was right and shot the idea down, no matter what the Joker said.

Why he didn't do just that was a complete mystery.

* * *

><p>"This is the way to the woods," Sasori muttered, just in case Deidara didn't know where it was that they were headed.<p>

"I know," the blonde replied almost too cheerfully, "I've been there, un. I've slept there for a night or two, as well… It's not really that bad, and there are really no wolves either." Sasori had no idea why he had to bring up _wolves _right now, just when the puppeteer hadn't been thinking about them, really. "Those are just some stupid rumors, un."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" Sasori asked him skeptically, "Just because you say-"

"It's my word against the rumors," Deidara cut in with a shrug, "Believe what you want. I'm just saying what I know, un."

Sasori let it at that. Not because he didn't believe Deidara when he put it like that; but because the exact opposite was true. If Deidara said it wasn't true, then it wasn't true. Unless he was lying again, but Sasori couldn't afford to have any doubts when it came down to his partner in crime.

"Whatever."

"My line, un!"

"No, your lines are the happy-go-lucky ones and the ones that make no sense at first but are actually very smart when you get the chance to think about them. The _whatevers_ are mine."

"Why... thank you, un." Deidara grinned, punching the redhead's shoulder. "I told you that you would love me, sooner or later~

"I didn-"

The clown laughed (endeavoringly, Sasori had to add, even though he really didn't want to) and leaned in to press a kiss on his lips. "Keep on saying that, keep on saying that, but I don't believe it anymore, un~ I can tell that you do love me, danna~"

"Will you stop cutting me off when I try talking to you?" Sasori hissed, annoyed.

"Yeah, I might," Deidara agreed, "If, and only if, you start saying something smart~"

"How do know what I would've said, for an example, just now?" the puppeteer challenged.

"Because things starting with _I didn't_and coming from you are rarely anything good, that's why, un." he nodded, as if proud of himself to have figured out that much. "And now follow me; because I know this place and you don't, I think we've figured out that much, un."

"I don't th-"

"You do trust me, don't you?" Deidara offered the redhead his hand (he was still wearing those stupid, incredibly worn gloves of his, too. Sasori was just waiting for the day when they fell off of his small, delicate- no, suffered and bony, hands.), which he took without hesitating. Deidara tugged the other man along after himself. "Yeah, I knew you would," he then murmured, smugly as ever.

Sasori merely shrugged, not finding that statement worthy of an actual answer.

They walked through a smallish path through the forest, and the redhead was almost certain that the other man had walked through there earlier when he had been here, judging by how surely he chose his steps and how-

"Holy shit," he suddenly muttered, "Don't you have your shoes with you?"

As it was, in Deidara's feet were only grey, patched socks that he had most likely worn for most of his life, without a trace of those huge, albeit stupid shoes and the annoying click-clack of those wooden bracelets.

"If you recall what I may or may not have told you, I've been taught not to wear my shoes while inside. Hence, I didn't wear them when we did our great escape. And in other words, my shoes are probably burnt to ashes around now. I'm still sorry about that, you know, un."

"Don't be. But I'm sorry about your shoes. It's insane that I didn't even notice that earlier…" he shook his head, mentally reprimanding himself for ever missing that, "We'll go buy you a new pair once we get out of this forest, promise. You have some money on you, right?"

"Yeah, I have my bag," With his free hand, Deidara tugged at the strap hanging on his shoulder before continuing, "and the money I saved for getting out of here. But we're going to need th-"

"We're going to need shoes for you," Sasori cut in, "To keep you alive and whatever."

"That's cute of you," Deidara replied with a smile, "Everybody knows that one would easily _stay alive_without a pair of shoes. They're merely for comfort, un."

The puppeteer shrugged, looking away. "We're partners, aren't we? I'm counting on you to stay alive, you know."

"I've told you this before, and I'll tell you this again; keep on telling yourself that, un. I know you like me~"

"When will you give up on that," Sasori started with an annoyed glare, "And accept that some things are just never going to happen?"

To his further annoyance, the blonde responded by rolling his eyes with a lopsided smile. "This isn't about me giving up; it's about you giving up. You must be aware of how obvious it is that you like me. That you love me, un."

"Am not… do not."

"Are too… Hey, we're almost at the clearing," Deidara suddenly informed him. Sasori wasn't quite sure if they were following the bird (what was its name, again?) or if Deidara had switched to deciding the route on his own now. "Good for you, since that means that the two of us can stop fighting for a while, un."

"…that made no sense whatsoever."

"Too bad, un." Deidara responded defiantly, taking the final steps to what he referred to as _the clearing_.

"So this," Sasori addressed his displeasure with a pointed glance around, "is the _clearing_, the place we travelled all this way to sleep in?"

"Yup," Deidara responded calmly as he too took a glance around the clearing. It was a roundish opening in what Sasori believed to be the middle of the woods, with tall grass everywhere and tall, sturdy looking trees all around it. It looked... plain. "Why? Something wrong with it, un?"

"Well..." he started slowly, uncertainly, not really looking forward to having Deidara get all defensive on him. Again. "Are you sure this is safe? I mean, it's kind of, open..?"

The clown rolled his eyes with a calm grin. "Of course I'm sure~ We can cut some grass and lay down there and no one will even no we're here, un!"

"Cut some grass _how_?" Sasori asked him, still kind of skeptic about this.

Deidara sighed, covering his eyes with his hand. "Stop whining and use your imagination, un! I, for one, think I could just kick it down, like..." he took a couple of steps and kicked at the grass, managing to cut some of it down all right...

_"Ouch! Hey, what's the big idea?!"_

"Ever so smart..." Sasori groaned, "don't blame me for having hurt yourself, just now..."

"That wasn't me, un..." Deidara murmured slowly, taking a few steps back to inspect the damage he had done, and more importantly, _what the hell had he just hit?_

And he didn't even have the chance to take another step before a… thing rose from the ground. Sasori wasn't sure what he should call it, because he had never seen anything like it. It was like a huge Venus Flytrap (he had seen one of those capturing flies in the market once), but it was… it was almost closed around _someone's head. _That someone was tall and he (most definitely a male) was tall and his face was strange-looking; it was as if half of it was snow white and the other ebony black.

"Hey…" Deidara murmured slowly, stepping back again as if intimidated. Though Sasori couldn't really blame him for doing as he had; Deidara had certainly had his share of people wanting to hurt him in the past.

**"What are you doing here?"**the flytrap-person-whatever it was asked them, making Sasori aware of the fact that the voice was different from before; lower… and more frightening, to be completely honest.

"We were looking for a place to stay the night…" Deidara said slowly, appearing to be choosing his words very carefully, something that Sasori appreciated at that very moment. "And we thought that we could stay here… we didn't think we would bother anyone, honest."

"Hrn," the man responded simply, before stepping closer to Deidara. "You seem... familiar, as it is. What did you say your name was?"

Sasori could imagine that his partner winced at this comment, but at least the blonde took good care not to let it show as he clicked his tongue before responding, "I didn't say anything, as it is, but I'm Suigetsu of Kirigakure. Ten of Hearts." Sasori understood fairly well why Deidara wouldn't use his own name (not to mention using _his own Card Mark_), and he couldn't help but wonder if this _Suigetsu _was actually a real person. He wouldn't have been surprised if Deidara really did have his facts right.

"My companion is Sasori Akasuna" Deidara continued in an equally pleasant tone as he had started with "…you may have heard of him, actually. _Talented artist_," Deidara stressed, "And _Ace of Clubs_. The pleasure is all ours." He paused for a moment, appearing to be thinking about his next words again. "Now, may I kindly request you to give us a formal introduction in return?"

**"I believe you already have,"** the man-thing scoffed, **"But you certainly…" **he stopped mid-sentence, closing his mouth before opening it again and continuing in a lighter tone, _"…know how to do your smooth-talking, it seems. And as for introductions…" _ the man paused again before finishing the sentence,**"…Zetsu"  
><strong>  
>"Lovely," Deidara responded, "No home for you? And what about a Card Mark?"<p>

**"We'll see about that,"** Zetsu replied, **"Not before making sure if you speak the truth, though."**

Deidara kept his pleasant smile as he whispered to Sasori, "If he finds out the truth… run, un."

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><p>There~ Hope you liked it~ I promise I won't take another eternity with next chapter, if you still want one, that is~ shot

If you want to help me along the way of writing on, review? I promise to reply this time, too... D:

See you when I see you...~? :D


	38. Protecting

Heyo!

Sorry for the wait, but, I'm alive again! :D

I still have one (1) review unreplied, but I'm kind of too tired to function that well anymore... sorry D: BUT TOMORROW.  
>And um. I'll fix this more in the morning - just needed to post it now or never. I'll excuse all spelling mistakes because it's half past midnight :D<p>

THANK YOU FOR EXISTING, YOU. AND REVIEWING. :D

Eeeespecially you, Ida~ You make me so happy! :3

Oh and on other news, someone plagiarized this (thank you anon for informing me!), and it... made me really kind of sad. Sad owl. I just wanted you guys to know that... I've really worked hard on this for all of you so... I'm waiting for that story to be taken down.. meanwhile, if you want to look at it, it can be found here: www . fanfiction s/8725224/1/Where-the-Water-Flows (compare it to the first chapter of this and tell me I'm wrong... but I really don't think I am D: ) It's one of the people who've faved this who did that, too, so... it makes me all the more upset. D:

But hey, sad stuff happens. I'm still really glad you guys are here (if you are :'D). You really make this worth my while! :D

**Words:** 2,091  
><strong>Disclaim'd<strong>... But the plot really is mine. And all the words are too... and the Author's Note... D: Every typo, too...  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>Swearing? Stuff? Late at night typing... _be afraid._

Heeeere's #38, _'Protecting'_! :D  
>(many smilies in this AN... oops. :3)

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><p>Sasori felt the immediate need to turn around and go back the way they came from but he saw Deidara merely switch his weight and keep his calm, albeit slightly stiff position right where he was.<p>

Zetsu seemed like he hadn't made much movement in the time they had been there, as he had just motioned his head and apparently summoned something from the shadows.

"Whatever seems to be the trouble?"

Sasori could've sworn he had heard Deidara's breath catch.

"Nothing, if I may with your permission so boldly suggest," the blonde murmured "We-"

_"Are they who they say they are?"_ Zetsu asked him, seeming to change mind mid-sentence as he continued, _"Never mind that..._ **just** **tell me who they are."**

That must have been one of the only times someone had actually got Deidara to stop talking for good.

The other – who was another male, by his voice - was wearing an orange mask with a swirly sort of a pattern and black clothes, which contrasted the bright color. And if Sasori knew anything about masks, it was that they never, and that really was _never,_ meant anything good.

"Sasori Akasuna, Ace of Clubs," he murmured after taking a look at Sasori, causing him to flinch and then immediately hope that it hadn't been too visible. "And Deidara, from Iwagakure..." he trailed off for a short moment, giving the blonde he was speaking of a strange look, "a Joker."

"I'm afraid you are mistak-" Deidara started with a ghost of a desperate smile.

"Tobi does not make mistakes," the new man murmured, appearing to be referring to himself… at least that's how it seemed like.

"...Tobi is a good boy."

"Remember what I told you? Just a moment ago, un?" Deidara murmured, obviously to Sasori, even though he wasn't even facing the older man as he did so.

"About what?" Sasori hissed. "No, you said nothing," he quickly insisted afterwards, as he was hell-bent on convincing himself that Deidara could not possibly be talking about… _that. _About Sasori taking off and running away, not to mention doing so right _now_, when he was actually needed _here_.

"You promised-"

"You asked me, but I said nothing," Sasori responded immediately, "_Nothing_. Besides, you dragged me into this whole mess, so don't you think that it's my mess now as well… partner?" He knew that it might not have been the best time for them to have any deep conversation, what with Tobi and Zetsu discussing something of their own and obviously aiming to do something that would mean nothing good for the two outlaws.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Deidara's face soften for a short moment, before he re-adjusted his posture and shook his head. "No, I don't think so, un. You have to leave. I'll.. I'll die here, _okay_?" His voice rose rapidly in both pitch and volume towards the end, and Sasori could practically feel Zetsu, as well as Tobi, growing alarmed by it. Those two were ready.. sadly one couldn't exactly say the same for Deidara and Sasori at that very moment. They weren't ready when they really, really needed to be.

"I'll die here, _partner," _The formerly almost tender title came out of his mouth like the tongue of a snake, bitterly tasting the air,_ "_but you have to live, un."

"I-"

**"As sickeningly heartbreaking as this display of.. emotion is," **Zetsu muttered in a cold tone (Sasori privately wondered if he even had a _warm_, _"It has been brought to my attention that you are… _**wanted criminals, both of you. Which means that you will not make it out of here alive. Neither of you."**

The mere idea seemed to bring Deidara to the verge of panic, as his face went even paler than usually and his whole being seemed to tremble with fear as he took two, three, four quick steps to come stand between Sasori and the two other man.

**"So you wish to die first, Joker?" **Zetsu murmured. Sasori swore he could _see_Tobi shivering with excitement at the thought of Deidara's blood pouring from his frail body... of his surprisingly strong bones snapping in two and then shattering into million pieces…

"Yes," Deidara responded adamantly, nodding his head… and Sasori knew he had already given up.

But…  
>No. This couldn't possibly go like this. It just couldn't… it couldn't.. it couldn't end like this. There was so much for them to sort out and there was so much that Sasori needed to tell Deidara… in private, and not when they were facing their deaths.<p>

So there wasn't exactly much that could be done anymore, not up at that point.

"What the hell?!"

"Run."

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><p>Deidara was in a state of shock for a moment; Sasori had somehow managed to maneuver his (it was <em>Deidara's<em>) knife from his pocket (?) and to thrust it right into Zetsu's stomach... and swiftly partway through Deidara's right arm while he was at it.

Deidara would have to teach him to aim better.

"Fucking run," Sasori hissed again, drawing the knife back and moving it before Tobi's face in a fashion that he seemed to find threatening,even though Deidara knew that in his right mind, he would have probably found it nearly amusingly pathetic.

When Deidara still didn't react (he couldn't he couldn't he _couldn't_), Sasori pushed him harshly in the general direction of what was probably also known as _away_.

With two or three hesitant, wobbling steps (because to be completely honest, blood was pouring from his arm far more quickly than he was willing to admit), Deidara nodded and tugged at Sasori's sleeve with his unharmed (at least for today) arm. "Come on, I'm not leaving without you, un!" he said with what he tried to make into a smile but what was probably closer to an ugly grimace than what he wanted it to be.

Sasori nodded, stabbing with his knife in Tobi's direction, and probably missing, before he headed in an equally random direction, tugging Deidara along like a partly broken ragdoll.

"This.. isn't.. going to work, un," Deidara muttered through his teeth, trying to dodge the most painful-looking branches and rocks as they ran, "They'll catch us, they'll kill us... if not today, then later."

"Don't worry… about tomorrow when we… have today," Sasori huffed, seeming very, very annoyed, "You haven't died thus far, so why would you do so today?"

"Because," Deidara hissed back, "they know who I am. They know you now, too... c'mon, let's stop running already. I'm pretty sure you'll faint if you try any more, un.."

"Shut.. up…" came the angry response, but Sasori's speed was slowing down regardless. Obviously; Deidara knew that he was no athlete, and they had been running for a while now..

"I think we're clear.. for now.." Deidara murmured, his head suddenly starting to feel dizzy again, forcing him to cling to Sasori's shoulder to keep his balance. "Hey.. can you.. rip off my sleeve and bandage my arm..?"

Sasori seemed all but completely dubious for a split-second, but that was before he spotted the wound Deidara was speaking of. "What the fuck happened to you?!" he then cried, sounding desperate and maybe even kind of scared if Deidara had ever heard him that way.

"The only man with a weapon in that fight…" Deidara responded ever so slowly, mostly because all of a sudden, his vision was full of glowing and twisting spots and blanks and stripes and… Card Marks...

He knew that Sasori said something after that, but it wasn't like he could hear it anymore.

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><p>"Wake up, you fucking idiot... I'll fucking kill you if you don't get up and start blabbling all kinds of nonsense soon enough.."<p>

"Would you fucking shut up for fucking three minutes?" Hidan groaned, pressing his fingers to his palm as if wanting to point out that this was all causing him a rapidly growing headache at the very moment. "It's not like he's dying in your arms, fucktard. He's been all cleaned and bandaged up and.. you know. He'll live, I fucking swear to you."

"He's so fragile..." Sasori murmured in a dead tone, slowly trailing his fingers over Deidara's calmly moving chest. "I thought he was eating better than this.."

"Looked in the mirror, much?" Hidan responded with a sneer in his voice. "It certainly seems to me that you're the one who hasn't been eating here, man... You're thinner than I've ever seen you before."

"That has nothing to do with this, so.. quit babying me.." Sasori complained lazily, still absently tracing stray patterns on the skin of his partner.

Hidan laughed at this, punching his shoulder, and may it be mentioned that he effectively caused Sasori to vince by doing so. "Someone needs to worry about you; what with your blonde lover out of it and you only taking care of him and not yourself… that much should be fucking obvious, you deity-damned moron."

Sasori attempted to laugh lightly at this, but he couldn't really manage anything beyond breathing out a puff of air.

"You didn't even react to me calling him you lover-boy, you know~" Hidan teased him, sitting next to by the feet of the bed they had set Deidara on. "But I guess that's just because we both know I'm right... You two are fucking now, right?"

This drew an awkward, almost comical cough from Sasori; he felt like he had just swallowed air wrong and was now suffocating because of it. "I-I, we, NO!" he cried unhappily, hitting the other man on his knee before moving his arm back to pout in a rather manly way.

Hidan laughed again (Sasori had no idea how he made it seem so easy to express happiness and amusement like that), shrugging his shoulders and punching Sasori's shoulder (with more force than necessary, to be honest). "Hey, it's okay. You know I've always fucking got your back, right? Besides... well, if it'll make you feel a bit more comfortable about your... -needs, I've been fucking and fucked for a while now, too."

"Too much inf- what?!"

The light-haired man shrugged in a 'no big deal' sort of way, motioning with his hand to further address it. "Yeah, with that bossy fucktard I've told you about. It's... well, it's none of your fucking business, but I thought I'd let you fucking know anyway... that you're not the only one in the world who's.. like that."

"But.. what the fuck.."

"Hey, I just fucking mentioned it, so don't get caught up in it, will you?" Hidan muttered, seeming almost embarrassed all of a sudden... except that, well, that just wasn't Hidan. He didn't do that... Ever. "Now that that's over with though, you could 'fess up all about you and your fucking precious blonde, don't you think?"

"There's nothing between-"

"Oh, stop fucking lying already... Anyone can see from miles away that there's a fucking lot between you two."

"But-"

"No buts, just facts for once."

"Well..." Sasori muttered slowly, contemplating it. What would the harm in that be? There was just him, Hidan and a passed out Deidara there... and talking might clear his head about the whole situation a little bit.. maybe.. "Well, he's... he's expressed some sort of attraction towards me, I suppose..."

"Some sort? You _suppose_?" Hidan groaned, "Are you even trying? I asked for deity-damned _facts_, for crying out fucking loud! You should tell me everything..!"

Sasori groaned, rolling his eyes as he reasoned that the faster he laid it out in the open, the sooner Hidan would stop bothering him about it. "He's.. kissed me.. on the lips.." he muttered quietly, cursing the way he suddenly found himself sounding like a young girl, "and he's expressed to.. like me.. in that way…"

He was awarded with a court nod for this as his companion seemed to consider his words very carefully after he had spoken them. "So he's in love with y-"

"He isn't!" Sasori insisted, even though he knew that this was a battle that was already lost.

"Well, we both fucking know he is… so the question of a million coins… do you feel the same way about him?"

"I-" Sasori started, trailing off as quickly, "I…"

But that was when the chest underneath his hand suddenly started moving in a completely different direction than before; towards him.

"Tell me more, un," Deidara murmured with a drowsy tone, sitting up slowly, with his head supported by his better arm.

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><p>Hyrrrhyrrhyrr fixing errors tomorrow... sleeping today...<p>

If you wanted to make me really happy.. review? :D

And see you again soon, righto? :3


	39. Friends

Heyo!

Yes, I am still alive~! Happy days, I guess? :3

Well, for starters, the news are as follows: _I love each and every one of you_ for being here and reading this and maybe even liking it... even though I adore reviews and faves, the main thing for me is that I can write something for you to enjoy. :) So yeah, me not being here has been mainly school and stress -related and blah. None of it has been loss of interest or that I wouldn't want to write for you... just me being stressed /and lazy/.

Oh yeah; and I am slowly but steadily losing faith in fanfiction net. I mean, mainly because of the story that was a rip off of this, not even because of someone copying my story, but because it's been reported (_thrice_) and it's still there. You know. So, I'm searching for other ways to publish my writing in case this takes a turn for the worse. I'm on Archive of Our Own at least, under the name of Wishmaker. Find me there if I disappear from here? :)

I do have some more good news, though! I've been actually planning another story, a multichaptered one, DeiSasoDei and whatnot..! I'll start posting it when I have the first five chapters done (they'll be around 5K words each~), so it'll be cool, I hope! Laughmaker likes it and I hope you will too!

**Warnings:** Swearinnnnng.

**Words: **2,109

**Disclaimer:** The plot really is mine, the characters/places/etc. really aren't mine.

Here's chapter 39 (woah!), and it's called _'Friends'_. You can totally thank Laughmaker for everything here..~

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><p>Sasori's eyes were watering.<p>

Deidara found the fact nearly frightening, honestly. What was happening to him? Was he broken? The Joker remembered his father telling him that only broken people ever had liquid leaking out of them. That had happened to him before, too, but that was no surprise. He was broken, after all. And now he was certain of it; Sasori had to be broken as well.

Almost out of an instinct he hadn't known he had (maybe it was just a personal _something's wrong with Sasori do something you idiot -_instinct of his), Deidara straightened himself carefully (very carefully, though somewhat quickly as well) and rose his hand to Sasori's forehead. "You were saying something, un? And are you alright? You're… you're watering, un." He was almost certain that there was some other, proper term for it, maybe one that also sounded much less childish but he was currently _kind of caught up_ in something else.

"I'm fine.." Sasori hissed quietly, appearing completely unaware of his watering as he persistently wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Don't you fucking pass out on me like that ever again, brat. I… we had to drag you all the way here, you know."

Deidara pulled his partner into a hug with his better hand, ignoring his arms waving wildly, not to mention Hidan snickering and giving them both rather amused, very knowing looks. "I know you were worried, danna, un~! But don't worry about me, I'm fine and I'm always here for you!"

Sasori started to argue, by his tone, but Deidara wasn't listening to him, as his attention was already directed elsewhere. "Hey, are we at.. Hidan's place, un?" Deidara asked after a quick look around the room. His guess was based on the fact that it was a familiar place, but it was not the circus, not the bar, not.. not Ino's and most definitely not Sasori's. And, well, Hidan was still sitting right there, so that had definitely helped him with his reasoning.

Hidan nodded, seeming to be somewhere between _rather delighted_ and _very unhappy_. Then again, Deidara didn't really know him that well, so his emotions could've easily been well different from what he was used to seeing. "You fucking are in my fucking place," he muttered, seeming _less delighted_, as well as _more unhappy_. "And for your fucking well-being, I hope you morons can handle being by yourselves for a day or so, because I have other fucking business to take care of in the nearby future."

"Oh, are we staying?" Deidara wondered aloud curiously. Honestly, he saw no reason for such, as he was feeling alright (albeit his arm was a little sore), and Sasori seemed to be his pissy self. Everything was fine, so why did they need to stay?

"Because you need to heal," both Sasori and Hidan informed him, almost like twins who had unintentionally practiced such for their whole lives. "Besides, Sasori was so fucking worried about that I'd rather not let you two out there on your own…" Hidan added, rather wound up as he calmly ignored Sasori's hateful looks that were rather clearly aimed at him. Deidara privately mused over the facts that made it clear (at least in his mind) that the other two of them truly were close. Close like brothers, nothing more and nothing more (naturally), but… it still bothered him. And he was well aware that they had known each other for years upon years and more years, but that didn't make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel much, _much_ _liked_ Sasori, in a way that felt too wide, too caring and too… _intimate _for his world, for his understanding. He liked Sasori, yet he only knew very little about the redheaded puppeteer. Unlike _some_, he hadn't been there to see him grow up, hadn't spent time with him… to hell with all that, he didn't even know_ how_ Sasori's life had been, and the mere fact made him feel so, so _shallow_. He didn't even really know the person he was supposedly so fucking_ in love_ with. He just knew what Sasori was like right now, but was there ever really a way to know someone without knowing their past? Deidara knew that Sasori surely wouldn't know anything about him if he didn't know about the things that had made him the person he was now.

Aloud, Deidara only muttered a disinterested _okay_ in response to something he couldn't even remember anymore. He saw the looks his companions were giving him – Hidan's disinterested _is that normal or is that not normal?_-stare and Sasori's almost but not quite worried _what did I do wrong this time_? -face – but he paid them no thought, as he had absolutely no interest in whatever Hidan may have had in mind.

Also, Sasori didn't care, so why should he have?

In the end, Deidara's own thoughts started annoying him to point where he plain _needed to get out of there even if it meant breaking something in the process._ This caused him to scramble up, which caused Sasori to start another string of complaints no one heard, which caused Hidan to start another string of curses no one even _wanted _to hear.

Slightly wavering on his feet now that he was finally up again (_shit, how long had he been out of it, again?_), Deidara tugged on his gloves, thanking the Deity for the fact that he still had them on. Calmly, or at least calmly to be in the world in which he was living in, he murmured a quiet sentence that went along the lines of _keep each other company for a minute, un_.

From the corner of his eye he saw Sasori give him an upset look (Deidara's mind insisted that such face was actually called pouting, but he refused to give it any thought.), but he didn't react to it as he felt an incoming mental breakdown glooming over him. Usually he was willing to do everything and anything for Sasori, but sometimes it was all just too much... and this would definitely be a good moment to alone, for once.

His steps were still slightly unstable and he was seeing blinking dots as he sat down and leant his head on his hand, thinking of his next move. _Obviously_ he should stop trying to change things between Sasori and himself and just accept this, but... it merely sounded like too much of an effort to just.. take it all away and stop this. To put away his cards and quit the game... he didn't feel capable of such.

But facts were facts; Sasori knew fully well how Deidara felt, he just... chose not to react to it. He chose not to return it in any way at all. He chose not to even try and make it work... he chose to just ignore it all. And that hurt. It hurt so much that if Deidara wasn't have been already so deep in this, he really would just call it quits. Maybe putting some distance to them wouldn't be too bad (though he had tried it, hadn't he? And it really hadn't worked out..), but given the current situation, not to mention the Deity-forsaken _Card_ _Mark_ eternally etched into his skin, it was a sheer impossibility. An eternal _no_, something he would never reach. It wasn't meant for him.

Deidara was being quite frightening, to be honest; he looked desperate, heartbroken and upset beyond repair, and he was fucking _smiling_. Sasori knew the his partner had these… _moments_, but they had never been anything like this… unless you wished to mention that accident at the cemetery, but Sasori certainly didn't wish for _anyone _to bring it up ever again. He always found it alarming when people yelled at him, like Deidara had that time.

"Do tell what's on your mind," Deidara muttered (Bitterly, maybe, though hell if Sasori knew. He was about as good with people as a deceased dove would be, after all.), continuing with a scoff, "We're all mad here, after all, un."

Sasori's feet shuffled on the creaky floor as he walked to situate himself standing next to Deidara. He considered actually sitting at the table on the opposite side of Deidara, but chose against it. It felt like by doing so, he would've put too much space between them, and he wanted to give Deidara a message of _I'm here for you_, not _I'm over here for you_. Subtle as the difference may have been, he put great pride into himself for recognizing it in the first place. Who knows, maybe he even felt superior for once, being able to tower over Deidara, despite being much shorter than the younger man.

"You're acting all weird," he started, wanting to seem disinterested, even in the midst of his worry, "I mean, weirder than usual. You just.. you just.." he trailed off, searching for the right words. To be completely honest though, sometimes he felt like there were no right words. No matter what he said, it would merely set a new flame in Deidara, bring new tides from his mind and make yet another beehive fall on his head, causing him to angrily lash out yet again… maybe the words he should've be looking for were the words that were _the least wrong_. "You're just being upset over nothing again. I just don't get it. What did I do wrong this time? Not that I care, but..."

Deidara gave him a playful eye roll, though he wasn't exactly grinning (like he should've been), and remarked, "I know you care." He continued by saying something about what exactly Sasori had done wrong this time, but despite having asked for this, Sasori couldn't really focus on what the response was, even if he did care. Just a little bit, though.

It took a minute or two before Deidara seemed to realize that Sasori hadn't actually been listening to him. At all. That's when he calmly stopped talking and went to stare out the window with a distant look in his eyes. And to be completely honest, that… that made Sasori a little bit (just a little bit, mind you!) sad. He liked it… well, he hadn't _liked it,_ but he _preferred_ it when Deidara was all… Deidara-like. When he was acting like he should be, if you will. But when he aimed to voice these thoughts aloud, what escaped Sasori's mouth was…

"Hey, Hidan said he'd be leaving for a couple of days."

Deidara gave him a _stare_. A long stare that was just screaming that he wasn't making any sense. And it was true. He knew that.

"I was just saying," he muttered with a bite in his tone, more or less ashamed of how he was completely at a loss of words at the current moment, "I was just saying…" he trailed off, frowning. "I was just saying something, but your _complete idiocy_ just knocked it out of my head, thank you very much."

"_My_ idiocy?" Deidara repeated, bewildered, "I don't see why you're talking about me being an idiot when you're the one who went completely speechless after looking into my eyes, danna~"

And Sasori knew that it wasn't true. Of course it wasn't. Deidara, though, Deidara was just being an idiot. He was like that.

"You know, you remind me of a mushroom, un."

A fucking mushroom. "What?" Sasori asked, more than slightly caught off guard. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"You've been around Hidan for way too long. I don't swear because I don't need such to get my point across, un," Deidara remarked, as if he had forgotten or just didn't wish to remember what they had been talking about just a minute ago. Not that his point wasn't true, though.

"You didn't answer my question," Sasori remarked almost angrily instead of actually _admitting_ the fact.

Deidara only smiled in response. "You're small, round, and you know... red, un. So I've been thinking of a bolete lately, when looking at you..." he was slowly but steadily trailing farther and farther from the actual subject, seeming sad in a way (Again. He had been sad a lot, lately, hadn't he?).

"Everything alright?" Sasori asked him, trying to mask his concern underneath a carefree impulse.

His Joker merely smiled. "Well, this whole one-sided love -thing kind of sucks, you know, un. But I'm your friend so it's all alright... I'm here for you, un."

And as it was, Sasori had nothing to say to that. Yet, anyway.

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><p>Woah, personal. I don't even..<p>

If you want more, it would be super-awesome of you to review..? It encourages me to write and motivates me and everything..! :D  
>See you next time~?<p> 


	40. Talking

Ta-tah!

I hope you're happy, I know I am! :D This is all for you, so I hope you all like it… sorry it took a million years, but I never forgot it (really!)!  
>Merry Christmas, happy New Year, have a great Hanukkah, happy Easter and happy birthday to me, here's my present to all of you! :D<br>Thanks everyone for reviewing, too…! You really don't know how much it means to me! It's like solar power to my fingers! :'D

Dedications to my darling, as always! .O.

Oh and btw, if you're interested, I posted a chapter of SasoDei somethingsomething, you can find it in my profile as well! Consider it a… Halloween present?

**Warnings: **The usual?**  
>Disclaimer: <strong>I wrote it but that's all! :D  
><strong>Words:<strong> 2,185 pieces of nightly fun~

Here's chapter 40 (woaaaah), namely, _'Talking'!_

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><p>"So lovely," Deidara murmured aloud, leaning against the wall and looking out from the window despite of Sasori's <em>numerous<em> warnings that he shouldn't go near the walls, door, windows or any other kind of small or big openings that might be even slightly harmful to him in any way. Sometimes he felt like he was taking care of little toddler that would stuff anything, literally anything, he could find in his too big a mouth. And Sasori really, really despised all of those little people, kids or brats or whatnot.

They had spent days and probably weeks leeching in Hidan's home. Despite his normally ill manners, Hidan had insisted on them staying at least until Deidara would feel better and they would know where to go… it seemed like the whole world was simply _smitten_ by the blonde, and the swearing Queen was no exception.

"What's lovely?" he asked aloud, only disinterested for half of what he was. He wanted to know, yes, but then again, all of that which came out of Deidara's mouth was not exactly important. Maybe he just wanted the attention.

"This," Deidara responded ever so helpfully, "this, un. Us being here and, you know… Hidan left in the morning and I… I think," he drifted off with the speed of a little girl upon seeing a bright-coloured butterfly. For all Sasori would know, he was lost for the world. In the corner of his mind, he wondered why exactly he felt the need to compare his partner to a child. He had, after all, had his childhood ripped away from him before he was even old enough to fully comprehend it. Despite it, he seemed to find the good sides of things almost neurotically. Maybe because he had experienced enough horrors to last him a lifetime.

"Apple?" Deidara offered, holding the red fruit in his fingers. Sasori didn't understand how he could act so nonchalantly about it all. Was he dethatched from his own being? Where was the burning, scorching passion that determined him as a person?

Sasori would have voiced these thoughts aloud, found nearly poetical expressions to get his point across. He would have asked and Deidara would've answered in riddles, they wouldn't reach a decision, he'd be frustrated, Deidara would be upset, they would fight and storm away, the would make up without any words, they would kiss and Sasori would find himself with more questions than what he had begun with.

He would never really see the point, so he took the apple and took a bite, he glanced at Deidara and continued with his life.

He would grow to regret his decision.

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><p>Deidara yawned so wide Sasori could see tears glistening in the corners of his eyes as he fingered his half-eaten fruit. That was when he realized that Deidara probably hadn't slept for more than a few hours, since he was talking about something that had happened hours before Sasori had even considered opening his eyes. Was he incapable or simply unwilling? The brown-eyed man thought it was both, knowing the Joker. After his mind had taken <em>that<em> path again, he was startled enough to drop his apple and stare at it with detachment. He would never be safe, would he?

"Hey, did you break yourself, un? Anyone home?"

"No."

"To which question?"

He didn't bother offering an answer to such a stupid question, and picked up the apple instead. Deidara would never live a _normal_ life and have a loving family and a house of his own and he would never really be happy. Now that they had gotten to know each other, Sasori thought that he would never achieve true happiness either. How could he, knowing that Deidara would always be paying the price for something that he could do nothing about? It wasn't like Sasori would always be thinking about it, conciously, but he knew he could always feel it as a blank spot on the back of his mind. Deidara was blank, despite all of his colours and emotions.

"I was thinking about-"

Sasori traced the table's sides with his fingers. It was captivating, just draining out the world and withdrawing into his thoughts. Part of it was just something he had learned from Deidara (he was always _there_ but never _there_ maybe he had a dream world of his own maybe he had already given up on the real one), part of it was something he had maybe done all his life. Maybe it had been on another level, but it had been there for a long time.

"-taking a bath, un." Even though the blonde wasn't in his line of sight, Sasori could practically _feel_ his whole being flinch at the thought that _he_ had just expressed the wish to waste something like drinking water on _himself_ when he could _live_ without. In his world, it could even be a sin worse than taking his knife and putting it to use for once.

"I mean," he tried to reason feebly, "Hidan said I should 'fucking do something about myself before spending another fucking night in his house', and, he said it would be… good, un?"

"I'm not going to stop you," Sasori assured him with disinterest. Maybe it would really be good for him to wash away some of the dirt in his wounds, to clean up and cheer up hopefully as well. Since he hadn't even seen the blonde without a thick layer of dust and sand and mud on him, Sasori was even slightly curious. However, he didn't exactly wish to see this bathing take place, since he didn't wish to take a closer look on Deidara's numerous scars. The thought sickened him, to be honest. It was not right that one man would need to go through such misery and hurt.

Deidara stood up, slowly, carefully, seeming to have lost his former grace as he swayed slightly on his feet. Was it from laying in bed for so long or had his wounds gone worse?

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, _danna_, I am very much capable of standing up straight and taking forty-three steps to the other side of the house without your assistance, un."

"Wouldn't have guessed, looking at you."

Deidara leant his lean frame into the table, looking at Sasori. "Could you… maybe help me just a little bit?"

Sasori groaned, _no I can't_. "With what?"

"The… bath thing. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do," Deidara admitted with a slight flame to his cheeks. "Un."

Sasori stared, blankly, weighing his options. It would be cruel to decline, to leave Deidara to handle himself and his scars and wounds and everything on his own. Then again, when did he ever care about being cruel? He wasn't a people person, so other people's feelings had never really done much to him… and Deidara was a well-established exception to the rule, he knew. Deidara mattered on a whole new dimension.

"Yes," he responded simply, ignoring Deidara's widening eyes and the smile that was grazing his features for the first time in a long time. "Do we have warm water ready?"

"Yup," Deidara murmured, suddenly seeming perky enough to regain his grace again. "I… yes, un," he continued, seemingly pointlessly. He pressed a warm kiss to Sasori's cheek before leading the Sasori _exactly_ forty-three steps to the other room. They filled the small, probably rarely used bath tub in no time, but the difficult part seemed to be ridding Deidara of his clothes. He fiddled with his yellow shirt, he stared at his feet. He looked at his hands.

"I changed my mind, un," he suddenly announced, "I don't want to do this."

Sasori rolled his eyes, pushing Deidara closer to the tub. "Yes you do. I'm here for you."

The Joker seemed to consider the possibility of not changing his mind after all. He blinked his eyes, winced and stared into Sasori's eyes. "But… I keep the gloves on, un."

"Why?" Sasori asked, dumbfounded, "In the bath?"

"Yeah… I thought I told you that I have awful scars in them? Besides, they don't like water, un." He seemed to talk about it like he knew something he wasn't sharing, but Sasori would probably have to live with it. Deidara would share it when he was ready, like with his Card Mark. He always would.

"Fine. Show them to me sometime," the Ace of Clubs muttered in defeat. He looked away while Deidara took his clothes off, very unwilling to see anything more than absolutely necessary. He seemed to shy away before slowly lowering himself into the tub, and when Sasori looked his way, the water was already tinted with red and brown. It wasn't a pretty sight, to say the least.

"_When_ exactly did you last wash yourself?" he asked, sneering. He didn't wait for an answer before taking a piece of soap and starting to scrub away whatever he could out of Deidara's skin.

"I don't… like water," Deidara offered, "It's… wet, un."

"I can see that," Sasori muttered, careful not to agitate the taller man's wounds but minding even the old scars. "Does this hurt?" he asked, trailing his hands over a long scar on his back. "Where did you get this one from?"

"It… it tickles, I think," Deidara responded, really seeming to actually consider his answer before letting it pass his lips. To the second question, he replied with a shrug and "Mirror."

"Right," he replied, not finding any better words to express himself with. The task wasn't as unpleasant as he had previously thought, actually. Deidara's wounds and scars were not pretty, but they told the whole story of his life. They spoke in tones, melody and dark hues the man himself would never voice aloud. They did all the talking and complaining, crying and remembering in his place. They were a part of him, wounds from battles where he was a survivor rather than a victim one should feel sorry for.

Sasori felt like at that very moment, they were closer to each other than ever before. They hadn't fought for a few days and he felt like he was finally giving something back to Deidara for his endless affection; he was giving him intimacy he had never really got before.

After Deidara's body was more or less cleaned up (even the scars looked way less painful after a good scrub), Sasori let his attention switch to his flowing blonde hair. He didn't really know what terms he should have used to describe it, but it was beautiful. He really did look like he was from a noble family, royal even. His genes seemed to be the kind that provided him with all the visual features that were to be sought after, but betrayed by a royal disease like haemophilia. His Card Mark was one of his only flaws, but it was his only feature that really mattered.

Sasori didn't have much experience of washing long hair (obviously), but he did the best he could, trying to restore as much of its vitality as possible for him. To be completely honest again, he actually even liked what he was doing. Deidara seemed fairly content as well, closing his eyes and disappearing into himself as he absorbed the warmth that was around him. He seemed happy.

Such happiness didn't last for long; after Deidara was clean from head to toe, Sasori insisted on combing his hair to make sure he really had done everything that was in his power. And honestly, Deidara's hair was tangled enough for a croup of sparrows (his darling Itachi, too) to make their nest in it. The Joker seemed incapable of simply sitting still and letting Sasori complete his mission; he preferred to complain and yank and cry out and whine.

"You're a true brat," Sasori hissed, yanking the comb with unnecessary force.

"Ouch, fucking hell!" Deidara cried, "What are you doing, trying to whack the hole house down?! It's my hair, un!"

"Stop being such a girl, I'm almost done."

"And I'll be bald by the time that happens! Do you not know what _gently_ means, un?!"

"Nope, I haven't had the _pleasantry_ of doing many things gently in my years," came another hiss.

"Well I can see that, un! Let me go, I'm getting cold, un!"

"If you would just stop screaming into my ear, we'd be done already."

"I didn't see it helping when I was quiet and I'm cold and you'll be mad at me when I get sick, un!"

With a final yank that cleared (ripped open) the final tangles, Sasori sighed. "Go get dressed and back to bed before you really do get cold… I'll make you some tea."

Deidara was up and away before Sasori was even finished, hurrying to get away before the devilish comb returned to torture him even more. "Yes, thanks! I love you, un!" he announced before dashing off.

"Yes… You too," Sasori muttered to the closing door, pile of dirty clothes and comb full of blonde strands of hair, "You too."

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><p>H-hope you liked it, and even if you didn't, it would be really great if you could review… Let me know you're there because I'm here too? :3<p>

See you sooner than last time!


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